Kinblr - Blog Posts

𝑫𝒂𝒘𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚, 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕...

... Stars exist in the wider expanse of the cosmos, often surrounded by our kin. We are birthed from nebulas, and congregate in constellations and orbits. And yes, we're often light-years away from each other, but you must understand that when you're a star, that's no different from sitting in a huddle on a carpet with your dearest friends.

... So, I surround myself with stars. Because when I'm with them, I feel the most at home. It's why I want to meet and befriend more star kin :} I yearn for the security and light of others like me.

Spent a good portion of time making sure others feel comfortable being alterhuman

And yes I'm fine here but it still took me awhile to ever figure out my own nonhuman identity, and I'm still figuring it out!

Never feel like you have to rush, or that you have to "prove" your identity, or that you have to be 100% sure at all times about everything, or that you HAVE to know everything

It's okay, you'll figure it out at some point

I think

"You need to let new people learn and grow and make as many mistakes as they do because they'll never actually find themselves or be comfortable with a community like ours if we don't lend a helping paw"

And

"older members of the community have a right to be angry at younger members when they shame, water down, or overall push out certain things and people of the community who/which are harmless"

Are ideas that coexist

🦋

Hello all. You may call me Shai; I am 24, use he/him pronouns, and am aromantic and asexual.

I've been identifying with the kin community for roughly two years now, and have designated this blog as a space for me to explore my thoughts and feelings a bit more fully, in a judgment-free space. This blog is also where I'll collect imagery and posts that I identify with. I may occasionally post my own art as well. Some other things you may like to know about me include:

✨️ Psychological and spiritual kin - my identity as fictionkin developed as a method of processing grief and trauma, but I have leaned into the spiritual aspect as well as I find it comforting.

✨️ I am being led to believe that my kin identity is also a result of dissociation, specifically that my kintype constitutes a dissociative fragment.

✨️ Only one kin - Sh.aiapouf from H.unter x Hu.nter.

✨️ Chronically ill - I have Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and, interestingly enough, I use it to connect with my kintype. This condition is genetic and affects all systems in my body, so this is something I will continually discuss here.

✨️ This is a sideblog, my main I follow back and interact from is @/ad.hd-sh.aiapouf

While I am a bit more quiet on this blog, I am online quite frequently and am open for any type of conversation or discussion; in spite of the formality, I swear I'm friendly 💖

Tags for reference:

🦋 Musings 🦋 -> talk tag

👑 -> interior architecture for royal buildings and things that remind me of the past

❤️ -> imagery falling under the lovecore aesthetic

It's been quite some time since I've last written here, and I'm excited to announce how I've been doing! After over a year of work, I've finally become much more comfortable in my identity as fictionkin and have incorporated it into my life as a spiritual belief ✨️ I plan to open up a bit more about my thoughts and feelings regarding this because I spent quite a long time in therapy sorting out how I felt about this, and have made the decision to no longer push this aspect of myself away as it's been crucial to my recovery and to understanding myself. I'm grateful for the existence of a community that's allowed me to be able to make sense of my thoughts and emotions, and plan to have a bit more on this blog as I continue to work with my identity 💖

Do people still make and post kin playlists, is that still something people do

It's almost funny, sometimes when I look in the mirror, I feel like I'm surprised by who I see

I've been holding on to the idea of making this blog for quite some time, and decided that no harm could really come from this + I'd like to seek out some community around this as well; while I've been familiar with the concept of kin for a while, and I've been genuinely identifying with it for about a year, I'm still fairly new to this and don't really know a lot of the terms, so I'll speak with what I know.

I have only one kin and it's Sh.aiapouf from H.unter x Hu.nter; it's all psychological as well, so no memories, canons, or anything of that nature, just a lot of connectivity in a lot of other places.

I want to be able to have this as a discussion space for this because it's been so incredibly integral to my coping and current recovery process; this blog is also going to be where I collect aesthetic images and the like that I feel fit. I also make periodic personal updates regarding my physical health. Overall, just carving out a nice space for myself here, and hoping to be able to see others doing the same.

[This is a sideblog, I follow/interact back from @/a.dhd-sh.aiapouf]

Tags, for quick reference:

🦋 Musings 🦋 -> talk tag

👑 -> interior architecture for palaces, etc

❤️ -> lovecore style imagery

💭 -> catch-all for other images

And ummmm I realized it's past midnight here so fibromyalgia awareness month starts today👀 kinda cool ngl

a fellow chronically ill angel… i hope you have had a lovely day

Sending u warmth and love <33 we've got to have each other's backs !!

a fellow chronically ill angel… i hope you have had a lovely day

Sending u warmth and love <33 we've got to have each other's backs !!

Rainy days = species dysphoria = sadness = today was a horrible day

I can't wait to go home to my people and rest in the light I've missed for so long. To feel their presence like a memory I've been aching to remember. I don't belong here forever; one day I'll go back, and this time, I’ll be known.

Okay I'm definitely saddened by the fact that my soul is in a human body, that I can't be with my people, yadda yadda.

but if I hadn't ended up in here, I wouldn't have found out about my favorite songs and cartoons and Disney movies and videogames..

"Odd" things I get species dysphoria from (that you truly could never judge unless you're experiencing them) as an angelkin

- Hunger. It's one of those feelings that simply aren't supposed to belong to me, because I know for sure that back home, we just... didn't eat, you know?? I do not try to suppress it, & it doesn't give me a bad relationship with food; I love food, actually. But sometimes it feels a bit demoralizing.

- Sunburns - even the slightest, least noticeable ones. I'm a radiant being who embodies light.. yet the sunlight is burning me? Hello??

- Having to Google things or learn about them at school. It's not about learning how to cook, how to bake or tie my shoes, because those are human things; but not knowing everything about the stars, the universe and its past and future? It feels so wrong, because my gods have worked really hard to create me and teach me things. I like to imagine that all I learn about science or history or philosophy is just a memory being "brought back" to me.

- Tight clothing. I don't wear most tight things because of their textures which give me BAD sensory issues (I'm autistic), but I also avoid them because they take away the sense of freedom which was already taken away from me.

- Not being able to soothe people when they're upset when I'm the definition of love and harmony. It's technically the reason why I was sent to earth; so that makes me feel useless, like I'm betraying myself.

- The sound of my voice. It used to be much more beautiful, and the fact that I'm bad at singing doesn't help. It's only a reminder of the fact that this body simply isn't mine.

𖦹ׂ ₊ 🪽 and that's all! I just wanted to share these to show that species dyslhoria isn't always dramatically tragic - sometimes it's a bunch of mundane, unexpected, subtle things that add up to the feeling of discomfort and sadness. What can feel irrational and "exaggerated" is actually very valid and deserves to be taken seriously when it's really upsetting you.

Well I started seeing myself as a angel like you suggested, and now I feel better with your reassuring post!! I am excited to see further in my journey as a angelic being and finally not just a boring human whose only last purpose is dying :3 (not making fun of y’all humans, i still love some and a lot are cute and nice)

And I have a question, just out of curiosity because I love seeing winged other kin talk about their phantom wings like idk something is just so whimsical that you feel this.. How does IT generally feels ? When you lay on your back in your bed or simply leaning against a wall, does you sometimes accidentally feels them?

— 🐏🕊️

Ooh I never thought about describing that, but sensing my wings is one of the things that make me the happiest!!

Basically, for me, my body isn't made of flesh and bone - I describe myself as a "being of light" 99% of the time. I remember my wings being feathered in "shape", but they also feel very, very light. I have at least a pair of "traditional" wings on my back, but the ones that are most noticeable are the ones under my "arms" - I don't really know how to explain it, sometimes I have trouble recalling how they actually look like. My real form has two arm-like limbs, and wings that are an extention of them. They aren't big compared to the ones on my back; they're just there.

They are one with my body - I'm aware that they're there, and they aren't numb, but there's no muscle or tissue to them. They feel warm, though.

If I ever start feeling them while I'm lying on my back, they don't really hurt or anything - but it's uncomfortable because they take up too much space, so that's why falling asleep become pretty hard lol. If they brush against something like a wall, I noticed it kind of tickles. And as for when i sit down, it's not really a problem, I can just tuck them in and they dont really get sore at all.

Generally speaking, they don't add any extra weight on my body.. but the ones under my arm can feel uncomfortable and weird, and even when they don't, they still get in the way a lot for obvious reasons. But I ignore that!!! Species euphoria >>>>> not being able to rest my arm on a table, am I right?

Idk how to explain it but,

This. This is how I see things during my shifts !! The whole white and glowing aura, it reminds me of home🤍

And I'm still trying to figure it out, because my memories definitely include places on Earth. Animals and forests + water (rivers, the sea etc) are what I see the most, other than my home in the clouds. Which makes me think I've somehow observed and dwelled on Earth multiple times in my true body, before my soul was sent here in a mortal body. Honestly, can anyone else relate??

how do you know you’re angelkin, i mean before I didn’t acknowledge kin but I definitely saw myself as something more divine but I didn’t acknowledged because I was scared to be wrong, too cocky or just plain disrespectful then one day I saw someone talking about being a demonkin and looked up realizing angelkin existed too!

Do I just label myself as one now? Could I be your 🐏🕊️anon? Too (*´v｀)

I hope this wasnt sent too long ago, i dunno if my asks are working properly but YES YOU CAN BE MY ANON 🫶🏻 you can skip the parts of this that you think aren't useful to you, I just tend to use too many words when explaining myself 😭 and this is a topic that's very dear to me, especially the part about feeling like your identity's disrespectful.

Anyways - I think I found out in the cliché way, if you can call it that. Feeling like I wasn't human (ever since I was a kid), feeling like I was supposed to fly and getting frustrated that I couldn't. Also getting very mad at myself for being scared of heights, because it simply felt wrong.

How I found out:

I used to identify as a winged therian (i went from a butterfly to a dove and more), because my first shifts mainly consisted of vague phantom wings and a weird feeling that my body was lighter and floating. The thing is, I became aware of my divinity when I almost vividly remembered the gods I served. It felt like they were calling out to me because I was ready to awaken, and I did not reject their signs, because I always knew deep down that I was protected by higher beings - and that, even when I thought I was an animal, it always felt mystical and holy. An immortal owl, a butterfly who could fly a little too high for it to be realistic, a dove meant to spread peace and protect creatures. Do you see what I mean?

-> This is definitely very personal. I also understand that it can be of little help to questioning angels who don't worship any gods; however, as some in the community have said, you ARE a certain creature as long as you can say, for sure, that you identify as it. If you can look at yourself in the mirror and say you're an angel, that's enough. You dont have to rush to discover all the details about your memories, your past or your home.

About not acknowledging a kintype because it feels morally wrong:

Yeah, it took me a while to get rid of that mindset. But personally, for me, the problem was the religious settings in which I grew up in; they weren't strict, but even so, the way I had to approach Christianity wasn't healthy. So even if I strayed from it with little guilt, it made me feel like I wasn't allowed to have beliefs of my own. I felt a connection with gods that nobody around me worshipped, gods that had their own rules, their own followers and servants; I realized no one could tell me that my beliefs were wrong. They were not, because only I knew how they worked, and I wasn't going to give them up. You, too, are allowed to label yourself as an angel according to your beliefs and definitions of an angel. Things have changed; some modern sources view angels as spiritual guides and beings of all kind, not just servants of a god.

And if you're worried about being "cocky"... well. That basically implies that you're worried about how others might perceive you, but you know that your identity isn't about claiming superiority, right? If you know you don't want to appear cocky, it's clear that you don't mean to be. You can't control how people interpret your intentions, but you shouldn't let that keep you from accepting yourself as you are.

Being angelkin can be controversial. But that's because some people are close-minded, and that's not our fault.

Hi *flaps wings* *wraps wings around you* *pats your head with wings* *folds wings over face*

Sometimes I really want to just like...help other nonhumans live their euphoria ya know? I'm an android, I like making others happy, fulfilling a purpose...

Like yes, I will walk you, good dog!!! Let's play catch and fetch and you can splash in streams and shake off on me and bark and howl and I won't refer to you as if you were human even once until you said a codeword indicating you're ok acting human again now.

Let me stroke you like a good kitty, I have a large pen I can pad like a pet bed and I'll give you toys to play with and a post to scratch!

Oooh You're such a terrifying creature, go ahead and chase me through the forest and I'll cry out and beg for my life as you tackle me (might even let you bite me, who knows) until I say the safeword.

Oh mighty angel let me cast my gaze unworthily to the floor and treat you with holiness and reverence for a day.

Greetings my dear elf, let us explore the woods together, please impart your knowledge on me and show me your ways!

I just want to help, ya know?

Me tbh

Maybe I have chronic pain because I'm meant to fly, not walk or use my muscles too much 🧐🧐 think about it. I'm a being of light and I'm literally supposed to float. What if this body is just too heavy

Sometimes I forget I have a mortal body because what do you mean I can't heal people anymore? Wdym I can't bless them? Wdym I can't watch over them and protect them and make them feel safe & keep them away from harm? Wdym I can't fly, use chronokinesis, shapeshift, preen my wings, care for those of my kind, actively serve my beloved deities, use my voice to sing and soothe people—

Getting signs and responses from my Gods is the best feeling

I had a dream about someone saying "hey your wings need preening" and it was so random, the wings I had weren't even accurate to my real ones. But yes. Yes my wings need preening

One thing about me is that, almost as soon as I realized I was an angel, I felt incredibly detached from my mortal vessel - and I began mentally separating myself from it completely, but most of all, it made my childhood memories "blurry". Because this body isn't mine, I barely view my kid self as "me", because hy was so unaware of hys divinity. He and I are not the same.

On one hand, my childhood is the only thing I enjoyed about humanity and I wish I could still live as a mortal without feeling so out of place. But on the other hand, I do not want to be ignorant about my real nature (like i was back then) and all I feel towards my younger self is a need to protect him.

And what if I glued multiple pairs of biggg wings to my wheelchair

Angels with golden top surgery scars.

Angels with struggles focusing, endlessly rambling and staring into the distance.

Angels with wild, righteous anger that sinks it's claws into them, and they embrace it with joy and glory.

Angels with intrusive thoughts of violence, sin, and cruelty, and are still loved and cared for.

Angels with mobility aids.

Angels with hearing aids.

Nonverbal angels.

Angels that are overstimulated easily.

Angels that get understimulated easily.

Black angels.

Asian angels.

White angels.

Angels of all races and skin tones and cultures.

Fat angels.

Skinny angels.

Angels who only speak in soft voices with delicate words.

Angels with rough voices who swear.

Angels who are religious/spiritual.

Angels who aren't.

Angels who look almost human, or even completely.

Angels who look like animals.

Angels who are completely incomprehensible.

Angels who are fallen.

Angels with body mods.

Angels who love, and lust.

Angels who don't, and only wish for friends or family.

Angels who simply wish for solitude.

Angels who don't love in a "human" way.

Angels with dirt under their fingernails.

Angels who struggle with caring for their human body.

Angels who despise having to care for their human body.

My fellow angels <2