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Sun Wukong: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute.
Macaque : Sun Wukong, that’s gay.
Sun Wukong: We’ve been dating for 2 years—
Sun Wukong : Hey, wanna take a shower with me?
Macaque: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously not the real me.
Macaque : As top in this relationship, I think we should-
Sun Wukong: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.
Brotherhood era Macaque : We should get you to a healer for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?
Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?
Sun Wukong: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Macaque : But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Sun Wukong: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Macaque : Is it working?
Sun Wukong: Go fuck yourself.
Macaque, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch
Sun Wukong: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.
Macaque : This is a lie.
Macaque : I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.
Macaque : THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.
Macaque : Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Sun Wukong: AS ENEMIES again?!
Macaque :
Sun Wukong: What are you in the mood for?
Macaque : World domination.
Sun Wukong: That's a bit ambitious.
Macaque : You are my world.
Sun Wukong: Aww...
Macaque :
Sun Wukong:
Macaque :
Sun Wukong: OH.
Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: I feel like doing something stupid.
Brotherhood era Macaque : I’m stupid, do me.
Peng in the background: *wheeze*
Sun Wukong: Listen, we’re done, we’re over! Okay?
Macaque : Whatever bitch, you ain’t never gonna find no one like me.
Sun Wukong: Yeah, that's the point shithead!
Macaque : This date is boring!
Sun Wukong: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
Macaque : Then why did you invite me?
Mk, who's only homophobic when it comes to Shadowpeach: he didnt, he specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Sun Wukong I'll do whatever I want!"
Macaque, to Sun Wukong : We had a date!
Sun Wukong: *aggressively points to Bai he and the Hello Kitty Coloring Book*
Sun Wukong: Did it hurt when you fell-
Macaque : From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-
Sun Wukong: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.
Macaque : ...
Sun Wukong: You just laid there for 15 minutes.
Macaque to Mk : Sun Wukong is playing hard to get.
Macaque : Little do he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
Sun Wukong: I have feelings for Macaque.
MK : Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?
Sun Wukong: Look, last night was a mistake.
Macaque : A sexy mistake.
Sun Wukong: No, just a regular mistake.
Macaque : There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?
Sun Wukong: Nope, there's 26.
Macaque : Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.
Sun Wukong: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.
Macaque : You'll get the D later ;).
MK in the distance : Ugh!!!!
Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: Macaque and I are no longer dating.
Brotherhood era Macaque : peaches, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re Mated.
Sun Wukong: Fight me!
Macaque : *gets on one knee and pulls out a ring*
Macaque : Fight me for the rest of our lives.
Sun Wukong: Macaque , you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?
Macaque , naked in Sun Wukong's bed: No, I absolutely do not.
Sun Wukong, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.
Sun Wukong: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.
Macaque : Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.
Sun Wukong: ...
Sun Wukong: You mean ring bearER, right?
Macaque : ...
Sun Wukong: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.
Sun Wukong: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Macaque : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Sun Wukong: I said within reason, Macaque . How about I murder that guy?
Macaque : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Sun Wukong: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
Brotherhood era Macaque, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?
Brotherhood era Sun Wukong, confused: I mean, this is my mountain, so yeah.
Macaque : Sun Wukong, you love me, right?
Sun Wukong: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.
Possessed Wukong: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Macaque : In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
Possessed Wukong: I don't know, surprise me!
Macaque : You look good in that hoodie.
Sun Wukong: You know where else I'd look good?
Macaque , zero hesitation: My bed.
Sun Wukong, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?
Sun Wukong: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.
Macaque : Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.
Sun Wukong: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.
Macaque : You always act stupid.
Macaque :
Macaque : Wait...
Sun Wukong: Wow, Macaque , you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.
Macaque : We literally slept together yesterday.
Sun Wukong: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.
Brotherhood era Macaque : We should be partners.
Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: You mean like, partners in crime?
Brotherhood era Macaque : Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.
Sun Wukong: Bro-
Macaque : No, no, hold up, rewind.
Macaque : My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??
Macaque : Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Sun Wukong: Okay.
Macaque who, has never seen sharkboy and lavagirl : And make out during the scary parts.
Sun Wukong: Th-
Sun Wukong: The scary parts.
Sun Wukong: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Mei : Do you want to explain the text you sent Monkey King last night?
Macaque : It was autocorrect.
Mk: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me." To Monkey King?
Macaque : Yes.
Sun Wukong: Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your boyfriend?
Macaque : Dude- Its satire!
Sun Wukong: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!
Macaque walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Sun Wukong, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.
Sun Wukong, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)
Pigsy: Guys, since this looks like the end, I just want you to know – you’re not really the two people I wanted to die with.
Sun Wukong: Ditto.
Tang: Actually, I always planned on the two of us being buried together in a tomb.
Pigsy: If we make it through this, you and I are having a serious talk.
Sun Wukong: Man, I’m gonna get fat if you keep feeding me all these chips and junk!
Macaque: I’M NOT! I was eating them and you took them.
Sun Wukong: You said I should try some!
Macaque: I said they were good.
Sun Wukong: That’s not how I heard it
Mei: Hey guys, I found a spider. Cool little guy. Thanks for eating the mosquitoes.
Mei: Oh no, where did it go?
MK: MEI WHY?!
Sun Wukong: Here is my wall of inspirational people.
MK: Is that a mural of you?
Sun Wukong: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
Pigsy: I know you snuck out last night, MK.
Mei: Play dumb!
MK: Who's MK?
Mei: NOT THAT DUMB!
Tang: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke?
Pigsy: I only like dark humor.
Tang, turning off the lights: What do you call a fake noodle?
Pigsy:
Tang: An IMPASTA!