Man Sorry For The Rant? - Blog Posts

MY OC!!!!!

Aiki Kiyozumi.

age 4 -- age 1X -- age XXX

trying to comfort yourself through trauma and grief

VS

Finnaly finding peace

This is actually the advice I am subconciousely following since 2020, and ykw? It works.

Well. Somewhat...?

BUT!!!! I make them get good happy pleasant experiences instead of therapy since i got bad experiences with therapists myself (I've been to 4 different therapists. They would either say that it's all my fault and I deserve it, or just suck it up, or that "I don't try hard enough", they ruined my understanding of therapy. Mother only dragged me there with the intention to "fix whatever is wrong with me", not help.)

Basically, running the character through similar horrible experiences to yours and making them heal. Feeling like you're part of it. and if they healed - so can you.

I know I began talking about a bit of a different topic but I still wanted to express my opinion, so I hope that it's fine(I hope so?)

I've been doing this similiar thing for.... 4-5 years now? I'm definitely better than I used to be.

Put a bullet in my head but I'm not going back to whatever 2015-2020 was. I don't even remember most of it but I'm not going back. No.

If you can't get any help, or don't want any help - working on yourself BY yourself WITH yourself is the best thing that can be done. It's hard but don't lose hope!

Whatever I get horribly flashbacked to everything traumatic that ever happened in my life - my mind just refuses to accept it, like no, that's not me, that must have been someone else, I POSSIBLY couldn't be fine after [REDACTED] but, I'm fine, right? so it means that [REDACTED] never happened and I'm just lying to myself and making shit up, I just gotta suck it up and be tougher.

and if you ask me that's very fucking Stanley Pines core.