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Matt Engarde - Blog Posts
Someone needs to do a thing about Phoenix Wright becoming a Tumblr celebrity/meme in universe, getting treated in a similar way to how we treat Hbomberguy irl. You cannot tell me that Tumblr wouldn't see a lawyer solve a fifteen year old cold case by cross examining a parrot and not immediately declare him our king.
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Werewolf--Sex:
On trial rn and my defense attorney seems to be lowkey flirting with the prosecutor and it's really killing the mood ngl.
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Steelsamuraiass:
OP, your attorney is Phoenix Wright. He's been married to that Prosecutor for fifteen years. I even credits him for inspiring him to take up law in the first place.
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Werewolf--Sex:
Aw, that's actually really sweet.
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Engarde-Simp:
Didn't that guy once solve a fifteen year old cold case by cross examining a parrot?
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Werewolf--Sex:
What?
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Wrightworthkismesis:
Newbies discovering the pure insanity that is Phoenix Wright's career will never not be funny. Your trial is gonna be legendary.
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Engarde-Simp:
Did you really not do any research on your attorney before hiring him?
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Werewolf--Sex:
Doing research rn. This guy's career is insane. Listed in no particular order, my attorney, Phoenix Wright has apparently:
Needed to have evidence law explained to him mid-trial
Proven the existence of ghosts to win his trials(?????????)
Defended an orca in court.
Only lost three times in his entire career (absolutely fucking insane if you know how Japanifornia's legal system is. Tbh, defendants are screwed in our current system.)
Successfully proven that the prosecutor committed the crime his client was accused of by checking him with a metal detector.
Claims to have a magic necklace that can let him see lies??????
Was once nearly taken out by the mafia.
Once got impersonated by a dude with a cardboard badge.
Repeatedly been assaulted by witnesses and even prosecutors? Like, one of them straight up tazed him and he was once apparently whipped unconscious in court???
Survived getting hit by a speeding car and being sent flying, falling through a burning bridge, and all the times he got assaulted.
Also, that description of his relationship with the Prosecution really doesn't do any justice. Apparently, Phoenix only started practicing law so he could meet this man in court again.
Who gave this indestructible homosexual a law degree? He clearly has too much power.
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Sold-To-Gavinners:
Actually! Phoenix Wright is a fraud who got disbarred for forging evidence! I'd really appreciate it if we stopped ignoring all the bad things he did just because he's gay.
#anti-pw #freekristoph #antijurorsystem #anti-matt engarde
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Engarde-Simp:
Of all the Gavins, why'd you decide to simp for the one whose a creepy lawyer serial killer? The other one's the one with the band ya know.
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Sold-To-Gavinners:
Your name is literally Engarde-Simp.
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Wrightworthkismesis:
Wasn't Phoenix blackmailed into that trial and that's why he lost.
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Steelsamuraiass:
Yeah, apparently Matt hired an assassin to kidnap his girlfriend or something.
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Wrightworthkismesis:
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Steelsamuraiass:
Googled it. Apparently it was his co-council. They're just friends from what I can tell.
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Wrightworthkismesis:
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Warewolf--Sex:
Got declared not guilty btw. Apparently the real killer was the Judge.
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OfficialPWPost:
Official Phoenix Wright post.
‘kristoph engarde and dahlia would get along because they all want phoenix wright dead’ kristoph engarde and dahlia could be used to torture each other in a the good place scenario.