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My Mind Is An Odd Place - Blog Posts
made this out of stock photos at an unholy hour last night
If you think about it, all our thoughts and morals and feelings are plagiarized as well. We are a product of what we hear, see, speak and learn. We pick and choose what we like best while the rest goes to deep recesses of our mind.
Someone, a long time ago, wrote the same words as me, albeit in a different format. That doesn't change the fact that we both reached the same conclusions. But the issue is that my thoughts were never uniquely mine. And in all honesty, I'm learning to deal with that.
~Me
2nd daily tadc day 10! Creepy just-a-head Ragatha crawling on her hair
My brain is stupid I guess but at least my best friend isn’t
“I don’t love him, but that’s not the problem. The problem is that deep down I know that I could love him, but my body just tells me not to. I know that I would love every little feature of him. His stupid jokes, his deep questions he always sends me right after work, his way of telling me that he likes me, the way he wraps his arms around me and puts his head on my chest like he would like to melt into me, his tickle attacks whenever he notices that my mind is zoned out again, his texts in the middle of the night whenever he’s out with friends asking me whether I’m still awake because he misses my voice and would like to call me but doesn’t want to wake me up, his hand running up and down my spine just out of reflex as soon as I’m next to him, the way he smiles at me when he sees me smiling already and so much more. Oh god believe me I know I could love him with all my heart. What’s wrong with me for not loving him?”
“Give it some time. I’ve never heard you talk about anyone like that before, maybe what you experience is love, real love I mean. Maybe you are just so overwhelmed that your first instinct is to build up a wall, but deep down you know you could love him. Maybe you need to let that wall down to see that you’ve loved him all this time already.”
“But what if not? What if this time I’m the heartbreaker?”
“At least you would know that you’ve tried.”
“I don’t want to know that I’ve tried, I want it to work.”
“Then make it work.”