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Nfts - Blog Posts
i think that my biggest issue with NFTs is that Picrew exists
Today is the day I've discovered about NFT's.
First it was physical currency that was digitized, now even physical objects have joined the the digital boy band. I have come to know how NFT's they work, how to create them and eventually sell them, now that's my ultimate goal.
It's still a process, but I've gained so much interest that I decided to be all hands on deck. One thing. I'm aware of is that you have to be original in all aspects, otherwise your creative work, qualifies as a fake.
Photos or image you produce must be your own work, not copycatting. When it comes to people's photographs especially, you most probably must get a consent from the said individual before using their photos as your creative work, for publishing purposes.
crystalbrain-web spider 1/1 NFT on OpenSea
ok so this is some real motherfucking shit dropped down from god's asshole like an asteroid of feces.
it says "web" and it could be construed as a web, i guess. but its motherfuckin' got a spideer on it! yes, spideers are par for the course for crack-smoking interdimensional reaganites. i mean every time we'd see one at the white house reagan would push a button and dudes would come up with these fuckin hoses full of bug killer yeah? and then we'd get to see a spideer die a horrible death. whut are my cocksucking, cunt-kicking thoughts on green spiders? i say those motherfuckers are radioactive and i don't want them uraniuming up my shit, capeche? even if u bring in some plutonium-proof suit or some shit near me just keep the motherfuckin green spider away from me, do u understand?
i haven't even addressed the question of "why" there's a green spideer there, what the punctuation marks are doing on it, and what the fuck the point of this all is. i guess the point is that green spideers are kind of like pop culture, and they can grow on u liek a cancerous tumor. see we get in ur head with pop culture, we're not jacking off or joking that we've got lotsa shit we need to control ur minds with, and that's our green spidierman. peter farker, spidier man.
see, back in the the 1980s we had a bunch of shit we could use to get people to be cool with us doing things. we had tv, radio, the music industry, the media. they pumped out this notion of some super-dude called a superman or some shit and it was cool like a college campus in antarctica. but then some people didn't liek this superman, and that is what we need teh motherfucking green spidiers for: to hunt these people down and turn them into peter farkers to our cause of money-making.
crystalbrain-rectal trump NFT 1/1 on opensea.io
ok, so the thing about this is that this is teh RECTAL TRUMP, yes, this is what teh CIA wanted to do to donald j. trump, which is SHIT ON HIS FACE. this fact which is 100% true is becuz he was such an annoying sonuvabitch, we couldn't get him to do anything right. he had his own uninfoformed opinions about everything, he wouldn't listen 2 us or smoke crack, he was such a fucking shitface and this tribute is the 100% desire of crystalbrain to put FECES ON DONALD TRUMP'S FACE. yes u see him peering into eternity's rectum, and crystalbrain ate alternate dimensional versions of trump in order 2 send a huge amount of dump at trump. if u look closely u will see that the crap is made of TRUMP HIMSELF.
the thing about trump is that he's liek teh guy at the party who won't shut up. now i don't know about you, but here at crystalbrain's organization we take great pleasure in laying a log cabin on the faces of people who won't shut teh fuck up about how great they are. no, this is definitely what donald j trump had coming 2 him, he is totally covered in shit and this is a good thing for the future of humanity. we don't liek his ass so he gets 2 get a load out of ours!! we had 2 get minions 2 tie him down but in teh end it was worth it because teh stupid sonuvabitch finally shut up once he was choking on our excrement. imagine this for teh future of mankind: donald j trump UTTERLY HUMILIATED by SHIT.
don't even get me started on what we have planned for vladimir putin lol.
crystalbrain-crack rock on a scale 1/1 NFT on opensea.io
ok, so teh thing about music is that crack rock doesn't get 2 much mention as far as i know. it's fucked u know, some drug that's this powerful, and it got liek no mention. when i was a little crystalbrain, everyone was smoking crack. liek teh news was always sayin "hey, there's all these ppl smokin crack"…of course they tried 2 paint it liek only black ppl smoked crack becuz this scares white ppl, but there were white ppl smokin crack 2, not teh least of which was ronald and nancy reagan whom i have shared many quarter rocks with. yeah, they had teh best microwave money could buy in teh white house, and that muthafuckah was so good at cookin' rock that when teh lighter hit teh crack it sounded liek a sparkler. yeah, i've mentioned teh legendary crack rock that george bush pulled out of that sonuvabitch, but what i want 2 talk 2 u about today is musicians and crack rock, and teh serious lack of songs about smoking cocaine in rock form when it was at its height. yeah, there's some stuff by nas, a few mentions here and there in music, but 4 somethin that was so important 2 teh history of teh world, u would think that there would be more that would be devoted 2 such a sacred rock. no, when someone talks about a rock on a song, its usually an engagement ring or somethin i guess, not a rock of cocaine. or maybe ROCK N ROLL, which is NOT about smoking rock cocaine and rolling on ecstacy, as disappoiointed as i was to find this out.
thats why i made this NFT: i wanted 2 show how crack rock could be musical. on this motherfucking NFT we have a musical scale, and its motherfuckin got a lot to say namely the words, "C R A C K" and "R O C K"…how do u play this on the piano? well see, u pick up ur crack pipe with a rock in it, get up on teh keys, and start dancin' around like a crazy dude while applyin' a flame to ur rock. there is some leftover devilry from when i was talking about the crown prince of saudi arabia and how he just doesn't seem to get crack smoking liek george bush or saddam hussein or something, and thinks he's some kind of cool machivellian edgelord…anyways, it left an impression on my mind, and so we have some COCAINE in an upside down five pointed star lol. is this proper? of course, there is no way that cocaine can be used that isn't proper: in the nose, in coca tea form, in a syringe, as freebase, as rock, in a damn enema, and any other motherfucking way u can think to use it. maybe as eardrops? eyedrops? the sky is the limit 2 this incredibly versatitile substance.
Nfts are stupid asf but the banana is actually hilarious. It was made to joke about how modern art is getting so ridiculous and the dude pulled it off FLAWLESSLY. He sold the rights to 3 people so they could set up and display the piece in multiple museums. It's a tangible object with meaning behind it, unlike 90% of nfts, and it's also addressing the problems with modern art, which actually *includes* nfts. Also I don't know if the current owners actually do this but I like the idea that they let the banana rot before eventually replacing it, which makes an active piece that is constantly renewed, like how something stupid dies just for another stupid thing to take its place.
TLDR: the banana makes fun of nfts
