Curate, connect, and discover
Chapter 6: High Infidelity
Saturday, November 15, 2014
10:47 pm
You follow them into the ladies' room and drag Nick into a stall so you can listen. Just focus, I can’t afford to get distracted by Nick right now. Nick and the way his arms were on either side of me against the wall. Then, you hear the women talking.
“I heard from Stacy that someone sicced the police on Charlie.” One of the women says.
“Oh my! For what reason?”
“Apparently, he beats Diane.”
“He’s from down south, I wouldn’t put it past him.”
“She always seems so happy and put together. I just don’t know what to make of it.”
“My hubby tells me that Charlie is one of them gun nuts. I don’t trust that kind of people. There are rumors that they argue plenty.”
“Couples argue all the time.”
“The help hears everything and they gossip. They hear him yelling and breaking things.”
You hear the stall door opening, you panic and turn to Nick. Crap I should’ve thought this through. “Kiss me.” You whisper to him, hoping he just goes along with it. He doesn't hesitate. You run your hands through his hair as he presses his body impossibly close to yours. You can taste the champagne on his tongue, you moan as he bites your lip. You start kissing his neck as you reach for his belt buckle.
“Is someone there?” The women ask.
You pull away from each other, flustered.
You step out of the stall, speechless. Nick stands behind you, attempting to wipe the lipstick stains from his face but essentially making it worse. “I’m so sorry, I uh…” You stumble for an excuse. At least this looks realistic and awkward enough that they won’t ask questions.
“Oh.” They laugh. “Do you remember how it was when you first got engaged Anne? I could barely keep my clothes on.”
The car ride back to the precinct is silent. “Well, that was a bust.” You announce breaking the tension.
Nick rubs his face, “What do we tell Benson?” You shrug.
“Can we talk about what happened?” Nick asks.
“In the bathroom? I panicked. I’m sorry.”
“Do you regret it?”
“We just doing our job.” Terribly. We really fucked up. Casualty count? One. This partnership.
“And in the ballroom?”
“We were acting the part.” But if we’re pointing fingers, YOU kissed ME!
“If you had to do it all over, would you do it again?”
You glare at him, “What?”
“It’s a simple question, would you kiss me like that again?”
“When would this ever happen again?”
“But if it did?”
“It wouldn’t.”
“Let’s just pretend it did.” Nick says exasperatedly.
“No.”
He glances over at you, “What about the other night?”
You fiddle with your necklace, “What about it?”
“Were we just ‘doing our job’ then?”
You cross your arms over your chest, “Nothing happened.” Was he checking me out? You drop your arms and sit up, “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Fine.” After a minute he mutters, “I think you would.”
You raise one eyebrow and he continues, “I think you would kiss me again.” You open your mouth to say something but decide against it, instead you stare out the window.
After briefing Olivia together, Nick drove you home. He said nothing to you the entire time. Your thoughts were preoccupied with wishing this night never happened and wanting to jump out of the car to avoid the tension. You realize you’re still wearing the stupid ring as you enter your apartment. You take it off and slip it into your jacket. Nick’s jacket. Fuck I might as well clear a part of my closet for his clothes. You were so angry. You weren’t entirely sure if you were mad at yourself for being so stupid—or Nick Amaro, for being so stubborn. And for making me love him. UGH, I hate him. You didn’t. You take off your heels and start to walk towards the bathroom when you hear a knock at the door. Maybe he came to his senses and wanted to apologize. You unlock the door to see Chase. “Why do you have a phone if you don’t bother to pick it up?”
“I was working.” You state matter of factly.
“You never make time for me. You’re always too busy to watch me perform. I’m at your beck and call. I thought this time might be different.”
“I know this might be hard for you to grasp but my life doesn’t revolve around you. I’m a cop! I can’t just say, ‘no thanks, no crime for me today’. And what do you mean by ‘this time’?”
“I’m not even a part of your life. Do you want to be with me?”
No. I don’t know. “I just think maybe we’re moving too fast. What do you mean by ‘this time’?”
He begins to pace, “I’ve waited for years for you to be ready. When you joined the academy, we lost touch and I moved on. Then, you just texted me out of the blue. I thought maybe you were ready to grow up.”
Ouch. “I didn’t make you come over that night. I didn’t make you date me. I didn’t ask you to ‘wait’ for me. I’m all grown up, you’re the one throwing a fucking tantrum.” You’re so close to crying, tonight had been shitty enough without this bullshit.
“I just hoped you were done acting like a drunk slut. What are you running from?”
You were too stunned to reply so you try justifying yourself instead, “I’m not running from anything.”
“Maybe you’re running from yourself. Do you hate yourself that much?”
“Shut up.”
“Were you with him?”
“What are you implying?”
He gets close to your face, “I”m gonna ask you this once, are you fucking him?”
“I don’t have to defend myself on something that didn’t happen.” Okay, so I bent the truth a little. You open your front door and tell him to get out. When he’s gone, you grab a bottle of vodka from the back of the cabinet. You turn the bathtub facet on and get in. You hate Chase and you want to hate Amaro. You feel confused and angry but underneath that, you just feel fucking empty. You couldn’t even force yourself to cry after all that happened so instead you take a swig from the bottle. What am I running from?
Chapter 5: Salvatore
Monday, November 10, 2014
7 am
You’re completely soaked, lying on the hood of his car. He’s hovering over you, his lips on yours. His tie in one of your hands, you want him as close as possible. The other hand is in his hair. He bites your lower lip and you moan. His left hand is under your dress, your only source of warmth as it rains. His other hand grips your waist. His lips move to your neck, then your breast. He stops slightly, out of breath. He holds your face in his right hand and whispers, “Me haces arder de deseo cariño.”
You jolt awake as the alarm goes off. Yet another dream about how differently that night could’ve ended. You remove Chase’s arm from your stomach. He’s so fucking clingy. Why is he here every day? His place is better than this shoebox. I totally get why couples slept in different bedrooms in the past. You shower and get dressed. Chase has been driving you to and from work. He insisted, “I never get to see you otherwise.” Truthfully, it made avoiding Nick and an awkward conversation easier.
Chase pulls up to the precinct just as Nick crosses the street with two cups in a coffee holder. He smiles at you and says good morning, then his eyes notice Chase. You both get out of the car. “Hey, man. I’m Chase, the boyfriend. You must be one of her coworkers.” Wait, did we discuss labels? You might as well go with it.
“Nick Amaro, her partner. Nice to finally meet you.”
You gape at your watch and loudly say, “Would you look at the time? We’ve got to get in there. I’ll see you later.” Unfortunately, you decide to point a finger gun at your boyfriend while saying this.
In the elevator, Nick turns to you and remarks, “Jace seems like a great guy. I don’t know if he’s really your type though.”
His name is Chase and Nick knows that. You don’t dignify whatever this was with a response, you just smile.
Olivia tells the squad there was an anonymous report about domestic abuse in the Upper East Side. “Fin and Rollins, I want you to check it out. Talk to the couple separately, canvass the neighbourhood.” She then turns to you and Nick, “You’re testifying against Michaelis tomorrow. Barba wants to prep you two in court today.”
You return to the squad room after being grilled in court and watching Nick suffer through the same, for almost two hours. Liv, Fin, and Amanda are in Liv’s office discussing something when you and Nick walk in. “Did you have fun?” Amanda teases.
“So much fun, I didn’t want it to end.” You reply.
Fin fills in the blanks, “We got nowhere with the Hastings. Then, they practically kicked us out. They said they’re busy planning a big charity ball and don’t have time for a ‘witch hunt’.”
“We can try to infiltrate their social circle, maybe find out if they know anything.” Rollins suggests.
“These people don’t turn on each other easily. And even if we could pull any gossip out of them, how do we get near without raising alarms?” You add.
“Why don’t we ask your boyfriend?” Nick interjects while staring at you.
You furrow your brows, “Excuse me?”
“He has connections to these people, right? He could get us invites.”
“Through his parents, maybe.”
“Then it wouldn’t hurt to try.” Liv declares. Damn you Amaro.
Everyone returned to their desks after the discussion was over. You ended your call with Chase, “He’s going to talk to his parents and he’ll let me know.”
“Rollins and Fin can’t go undercover to the ball because they’d get recognized. That leaves you and me.” Nick observes. “Do you think his parents would recognize you?”
“I’ve never met them.”
“Really? Huh.” He puts his hand under his chin.
“What?”
“It's just, you’ve known him for a long time.”
“Yeah, but we just started dating.”
“I’m just saying if I liked a girl, I’d want my mother to meet her.”
You tease, “So do you take Cesaria to meet all your dates?”
“You’re not funny.”
You sigh and place a hand over your heart, “You wound me, Nick.”
Saturday, November 15, 2014
9 pm
You and Nick sit in the backseat, watching as guests arrive in their town cars and rented limousines. He’s wearing a three-piece black tuxedo, with a burgundy bow tie. His bow tie matched the colour of your dress, a floor-length, sleeveless dress with a sweetheart neckline.
He pulls out a $1 ring and takes your left hand, “Will you be my fake wife?”
You wipe away an imaginary tear, “I thought you’d never ask.”
While Nick gets you a drink, you are approached by two middle-aged women. “We haven’t seen you here before.” They observe.
“We’re new to Manhattan, just moved from Miami.”
“We?”
You show them your ring briefly, “My fiance and I.”
Before you can watch around for Nick you feel a hand on your lower back, and he whispers in your ears, “Caio, amore.” Oh great, he remembers that I said that. “Here’s your drink babe.”
You introduce him to the women while his hand stays on your back. Your hand hugs his bicep. They leave to continue socializing and you whisper, “We should try to blend in.”
“Do you want to slow dance?” He asks. “So we don’t draw attention to ourselves.”
You feel curious eyes on you as Nick slowly dances you around the room.
He takes your right hand from his shoulder and holds it in his. He asks, “Are you cold?”
“I still haven’t returned your coat.” You realize.
“I know.” He says as he takes off his tuxedo jacket and helps you into it.
“Why didn’t you ask?”
“I have others. Besides, you look better in my clothes than I do.”
You wish he wouldn’t utter things like that. It makes you stupid and hopeful. You pretend to fix his hair, he leans down to kiss you and you let him. A newly engaged couple kissing, no one is going to suspect anything. We’re just kissing to protect our cover. There is nothing unprofessional about this situation at all.
In your peripheral vision, you notice two women who interacted with everyone including the Hastings, head to the bathroom. “I bet those two chatty-cathys know something juicy that we can probably use.”
“What’s your plan? Follow them to the bathroom and hope for the best?” Nick asks.
“Exactly.” You deadpan, as you take his hand and try to subtly follow. Please don’t get caught.
Chapter 4: Born To Die
Saturday, October 25, 2014
1:22 am
You were still in the car with Amaro, staking out the abandoned building that Michaelis walked into almost an hour ago. Nick’s phone rings, “It’s Fin.” After he hangs up he says, “Barba managed to wake up a judge, they’re at the hotel with CSU. They’ll let us know if they find anything incriminating.” You get a text, it’s from Chase so you ignore it. You’re not avoiding him, You’re just working. Your phone rings, and you send it to voicemail.
“Aren’t you going to get that?” Nick asks.
“It’s not important, I can reply later.” You reply, hoping he gets the hint to drop it. You turn on the radio, One Direction plays in the background.
“So, you don’t like him?”
I guess Nick wants to talk. “What makes you think I don’t?”
“You said the date was fine.”
“Well, we were interrupted…”, you reply playfully.
“You’ve known him for a while, you never felt anything for him?”
“Well, I don’t know what that would feel like, I never had a serious relationship.” And I've never been in love or had sex with anyone else. I'd never admit that you weren’t sure if it was worse to be a prude or to be a slut.
“Do you feel safe with him? Do you think you could wake up in his arms for the rest of your life and feel like you belong?”
“Nick, it's the first date. I’m not marrying the guy,” you laugh; “besides he makes pretty good coffee.” you add jokingly.
There was a look in his eyes, but it was gone before you could decipher. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
You sit in silence for eternity. Although the clock shows only ten minutes have passed. Nick’s phone rings. “Fin again.” he observes before answering. “They found the victim’s hair in this room, do you have your gun?”
You pull your firearm out of your purse, “Always.”
You and Amaro had begun searching the building. The first floor was empty. “He’s probably in the basement, upstairs doesn’t offer any coverage.” Nick starts towards the basement. You enter what you reckon is an old locker room, it's dark and you can’t find a light switch. You turn a corner and see a shadow move. Crap I’m gonna die in a basement because of my stupidity. At least I look hot. You try to back away quietly, then you hear Nick call for you. “I’m over here!” you yell back. Not so famous last words. In a split second the shadow lunges at you but before you can react, Nick slams him into the nearby locker. It’s Dean Michaelis. Nick tells him he’s under arrest and reads him his Miranda Rights as you cuff him.
Dean starts protesting, “What are you stalking me now? I’m an American, you can’t treat me like a thug!”
Nick remarks, “You might want to exercise your right to shut up.”
You ignore them as you continue in the darkness, you eventually find a light switch; then, an ajar locker. You open it and gasp, it contains blood-filled clothes, broken phones, jewelry, and other accessories. Trophies. “We need CSU over here.”
An hour later, it’s raining and Nick is dropping you to your apartment. You’re exhausted but so happy the case is going to trial. Dean kept requesting to cut a deal, not realizing there was enough evidence to prove he was guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.
Nick stops the car in front of your building and casually asks, “So are you going to text that guy back?”
Why does he remember that? “Maybe. I just want to sleep right now.” I don’t want to think about anything now.
“You don’t seem sure about him.”
“I don’t have to know right away.”
“Yeah I know, it's just… I want you to be happy. He might…”
“He might what?”
“He might not be right for you.”
Saint Nick knows best, who am I to question his infinite wisdom? “You don’t even know him.”
“I know you. I know you don’t think you deserve good things but you shouldn’t settle.”
I should’ve known my big mouth would come back to bite me in the ass. You want to die of embarrassment yet you try to smile, “This is different, I’m happy I promise.” Liar liar, dress on fire. “I’m just tired.”
“Hmm.” He doesn’t believe me.
“Do you think it’s gonna stop raining soon?”
“You love the rain.”
“Yeah, from the comfort and safety of my bed.”
He starts rifling through the back seat.
“What are you doing?”
“Zara left her umbrella back here a few days ago.”
When he finds the umbrella, he opens his door and the umbrella. Then he comes over to your side and opens the door, “I wouldn’t want you getting wet,”
Well, I am.
“and catching a cold.”
There was something so hot about a grown man holding a Frozen umbrella.
He walks you up the stairs to your building, while holding the umbrella over the both of you.
I could fuck him hard, right here in the pouring rain. “Thank you.” He turns to face you, your noses would touch if you tiptoed. You want to kiss him. He starts to lean down. He’s going to kiss me! Am I dreaming? Then, you panic. Oh no, he’s going to kiss me. This won’t end well. You wish you could just turn your brain off. I’m just going to say good night and leave before it becomes awkward. You move away from the umbrella and stand under the roof of the entrance. “Ciao.” What the fuck. “Uh, good night.” You walk away, not wanting to look him in the eyes.
You take off your heels in the elevator and check your phone. You see a missed call from Chase and two messages.
“I’m headed to ur place right now”
“I’m outside, are u ok??”
He’s sitting outside your door with your coat on his lap and as you get closer, you realize he’s asleep. You can feel the guilt churning inside you. He jolts awake and stands up before you reach your apartment.
“Chase, hey I’m so sorry I got so caught up with work.” He pulls you in for a hug and kisses your hair.
He stares at the coat you’re wearing, Nick’s coat but he doesn’t mention it. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Nick saved me from almost getting my ass kicked by a serial predator but I won’t mention that. “We caught the bad guy in the end.”
“That’s good.” he says as he hands you your coat.
“Do you want to come inside?” Please say no, I’m so not in the mood to have sex with you.
“If it's okay with you, it's a long drive back home.” There’s that guilty feeling again. Cool. Cool cool cool.
Chapter 3: Brooklyn Baby
Friday, October 24, 2014
6:03 pm
You look at the text from Chase announcing “omw see u in like 20 mins” You tried to make excuses every time he suggested going to dinner in the last few days. Eventually, you just caved and said yes. You’ve known him forever, maybe this would be good for you. You apply red lipstick to your lips and touch up your makeup. You zip up your black dress, it was a simple midi type, with a split and v-neck. Yet, you were worried. Is this considered a first date? Would Nick like this dress? Would Nick even look twice at me, he’s like a real adult. Maybe that’s why he’s so nice, he probably thinks I’m too young. Just a dumb girl who's hopelessly in love with him. Shut up! What was his name? Chase? Would Chase like this dress?
There’s a knock on your door twenty-five minutes later. You slide on your heels and buckle them. The restaurant is uptown, closer to Chase’s place. Yet he drove all this way to pick you up, you note, maybe add that to the pros list. He made a seven o'clock reservation. He peers over at you again, “You are gorgeous.” he comments for maybe the third time. Is he practicing his adjectives? He continues, “So I was thinking that we should start over?”
The only sound you manage to get across is “huh?”
“Yeah, we didn’t exactly start on the most romantic note. I want something real this time.” You study at him, really look at him. This is good, I could really be happy with him. I just have to stop thinking.
At the restaurant, he asks “So where are you from?”
You give him a look, then “Right, we’re starting over.” You clear your throat and try not to laugh, “Uh, I was raised in Brooklyn, you?”
“Upper East side, my dad’s a plastic surgeon. I think he’s disappointed I didn’t choose such a noble career. My mom’s a former swimsuit model.”
“My parents divorced when I was 11, so my dad mostly raised me and my brothers. My mom moved to Florida to start another family. Anyway, what do you do?”
“I’m in a band. Your mom leaving must have been hard for you.”
“Honestly, I don’t think it really affected me. They weren’t happy and I just had to adjust.” She feels like a stranger. “So a band? That’s pretty cool.”
You continued the small talk for a while, which was surprisingly not the worst thing. Then your phone beeps, it's Nick. Am I being haunted? Wait no it's probably work, don't be a dramatic bitch. You answer and Nick tells you he’s sorry for disturbing you on a day off but he’s at a new crime scene and you tell him to send the location. You apologize to Chase, “I’m sorry, it’s work. Raincheck?” He tells you he gets it and kisses your cheek. You leave and get into a cab.
In the cab on your way to the crime scene, you realize you left your coat. Crap now I’m gonna be both unprofessional and freezing. You text Chase and tell him to keep your coat for you. He replies, “I’ll bring it to u. Can I see u after you get off work?” You ignore his text.
“So our victim is… was a high school student. She was found in the garbage bin by a restaurant staff. Possibly raped and beaten to death. The autopsy will reveal more” he states. “Wow.” You look up to see him staring. “You look nice,” he says whilst taking off his coat and draping it over your naked shoulders.
“I forgot my coat at the restaurant.” No! Why did you just say that? Okay just don’t make it a big thing.
“Were you on a date?” Why did he look at you like that?
You shrug, this coat smells good. “Just catching up with someone from college.” Not a lie.
“So like an old boyfriend?” What’s with the third degree?
“We never dated.” Also not technically a lie.
“So how was it?”
“Fine, I guess. Um, so walk me through the crime scene.”
Nick explains how the restaurant employee was taking the trash out at the end of his shift when he saw a dead body in the bin. He didn’t notice anyone lingering. Uniformed officers were canvassing the neighbourhood right now.
“It’s got to be Michaelis, how is he still walking freely?’’ you ask, frustrated.
“The school bailed him out, they claim the NYPD has an agenda and no proof.”
You roll your eyes. ‘The NYPD has an agenda’ is every predator’s favourite excuse. “What about the DNA samples?” You wonder if the defense will be arguing: middle-aged creeps are being denied their right to rape!
“The lab’s backed up, it’ll take a few more days.”
You got off the phone with Liv, having updated her on the situation. “We can’t arrest him again without probable cause, but we can keep an eye on him until Barba gets a warrant for his hotel room and car. Maybe we’ll find her DNA.” You and Nick were told the prep was still in his hotel room so you stake out the hotel lobby. You were sitting closely so as to not draw attention, Nick’s left hand on your thigh. You glance down to his hand on your bare thigh to notice he wasn’t wearing his ring. When did that happen? What does this mean? Was he dating again? He notices you staring, “I talked to Maria, we’re getting a divorce.”
You rub his arms, “Nick, I’m so sorry.” You really were.
“It’s getting easier to accept. Ever since I punched her shrink, I’ve been trying to deal with my anger better.” You remember everything he told you, he thought his wife was cheating and he handled it badly. “I just don’t want to be the kind of man that speaks with his fist.”
You gently stroke his face, “You’re a good man, and Zara is so lucky that you’re her dad.”
You stare at each other for what feels like forever, that you almost don’t see Dean Michaelis as he heads for the door.
Music To Watch Boys To (WIP)
AN: Set in 2014, canon adjacent. Mostly writing this as a coping mechanism.
Warnings: angst, implied trauma, self criticism, implied alcoholism, slow burn
You Belong with Me
Fuck it I love you
Brooklyn Baby
Born to Die
Salvatore
High Infidelity
Chapter 7
Chapter 2: Fuck it I love you
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
5:42 am
You think back to the drink you shared at the bar last night and the way he stared at you. You almost thought he could feel something more for you. Almost. Maybe, it was the vodka and you were just delusional. You glance over to the sleeping man in your bed, self-pity, and vodka so do not mix. You vaguely recall texting Chase “u up?” at 1 am as you left the bar. He was outside your door thirty minutes later wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a smug fucking smile. He annoyed you so much but in moments like this, he made you feel desirable. This is what normal people do, have regrettable drunk sex with questionable men, right? I mean who even needs love and intimacy when you’ve got an awesome job? Who wants a relationship to mess up and children to traumatize?
You walk to work, having placed all your faith on ibuprofen and coffee. He might be a fuck boy but hey, he makes good coffee. You notice that Amaro brought you a cup of coffee, great is this gonna be another thing, who’s even this fucking nice, you think angrily. He looks up from his desk and smiles at you, “Good morning.” You forget the ridiculous reason you were mad, that fucking smile, you wanted to melt but you compose yourself.
“How’d the interrogation go for Fin and Rollins?” you inquire.
“He immediately asked for a lawyer, Barba’s in there right now,” he said. “They’re cutting a deal?!” you whisper yelled.
“If he confesses to all there will be no need for a trial and his victims will have closure.” Nick replies. “What about the school, do you think they covered for him?” you wonder out loud.
“Maybe he’ll give them up to save his own ass.” Nick replies, then he asks, “Hey, where did you disappear to last night?”
You look at him and try to lie, “Uhm… I went home and slept early. Y'know, it was just one of those days where all you want to do is crawl into bed.” Apparently with your fuck buddy from college. He puts his hands on his waist, surely buying the bullshit you were selling.
Before you can dig yourself further into a hole, Barba walks into the bullpen and says exasperatedly, “He insists on having done nothing wrong.”
You reply, “Does he know the DNA matched his?”
“He claims it was consensual, and that she must have gotten mugged.” Barba replies.
Nick chimes in with, “She’s seventeen, she can’t legally consent.”
“He’s betting on the jury believing it's an honest mistake,” you guess, “we need to tie him to those other open cases.”
“I’ll update Liv.” Nick announces, heading for her office.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
3:09 am, Ohio
Today was supposed to be your day off but the sergeant sent you and Amaro to Ohio to retrieve the rape kits and have them tested in New York; while Amanda Rollins, who transferred from Georgia, and Fin were doing the same. You wake up from your nap in the car, you lose count of how long you’ve been on the road. You glance at him, hoping he thinks you’re still asleep. He looks so sad sometimes. He thinks he’s good at hiding it but you saw how the job affected him. He thinks he can save the whole wide world. He shows up for everyone and you just want to be that person for him. In a platonic, professional way. I totally wasn't falling for him. Uh oh, Oh no, oh I’m tot-. “You’re awake! You hungry?” he asks while getting in line at some fast food drive-through.
You get out of the car and head towards the motel to check in, you and Nick had been driving for almost nine hours. Truthfully, it was mostly Nick. “The NYPD put us in the same room, tell me you don’t snore.” you half-teased. After all that time in the car, you desperately needed a shower. You drop your bag and head towards the bathroom, “Dibs.” you call before shutting the door.
You awake the next morning to find his bed empty, you notice a note on the nightstand that reads, “went to get us bagels and coffee, meet me in the parking lot at 9”. You glance at the clock, it's 8:23. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” he smiles as you get into the car, “you talk in your sleep by the way.” He looks over, you were too embarrassed to speak so you just shove a bagel in your mouth. You try to ask something but it comes out as gibberish. You swallow and try again, “Should we drop by the Ohio PD before reinterviewing the victims?”
He replies, trying his best not to laugh at you, “Yeah, we’ve got to check in with them, and get the necessary paperwork sorted.”
You leave Ohio at about 11 pm that night. Just before you reach New York, you stop at a diner for a bite. You discuss the case, and then Anastasia the movie. You recommended it a while back because it’s been your favourite since you were a kid.
“I watched it with Zara, she really liked it. I liked the talking bat.”
“Of course she did, I've repeatedly said my taste is superior. What about the music?”
He laughs and declares, “They should be on Broadway.”
“That’s what I’ve been saying! I hate that it's not more popular.” You pout dramatically.
You try your best to remind yourself that this is work, not a date. He was here with you because he had to be, not by choice; but then he’d peer at you with those fucking eyes and you’d forget to breathe.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
2:20 pm
You’re enjoying a quiet day off, rereading Pride and Prejudice. Your phone pings, a text message from Chase that reads, “Heyy :D)”. You ignore it, not in the mood for whatever it was that he was offering. It pings again, then again. You open it and read two new messages from Chase,
“What’s up?”
“Do u wanna get dinner later?”
Intrigued, you reply, “Maybe, what are we having?”
“Well u can have what my mama made :p ;)”
Is it possible to die via cringe? He continues, “jokin lol, I’ll cook. I’m told my pasta is not that bad”
“I’m in :)” you reply, what's the worst that could happen?
“I’ll send a car at 6”
Saturday, October 18, 2014
9:16 pm
You honestly can’t pretend you’re surprised he had you against the dining table, a hand up your dress. You barely touched your wine and for some reason, you just weren’t in the mood. You put your hand on his chest, shirt partially unbuttoned and you pull away from the kiss. You apologized and he said it was okay. You feel so dumb and wish you had stayed home. You decide to watch a movie instead. While he chooses a movie, you sip on your wine.
Sometime before the movie was over you had finished the entire bottle. You begin to drift off to sleep, naked and tangled up with him. You and Chase had been on and off since college, tonight was the first time you questioned if this was going somewhere. Did I want it to? Was this the key to getting over this totally inappropriate work crush? How much longer can I pretend that I didn’t fall for him?
Chapter 1: You Belong with Me
Monday, October 13, 2014
11 pm
It’s been three whole months since you stepped into the squad room of Manhattan’s Special Victims Unit, and it's been a wild ride. It's almost unbearable on most days but your team reminded you constantly the reason you did this. Every conviction, every confession, every time the victim spoke up and became a survivor; reinstilled your faith.
You look up from your desk as Sergeant Olivia Benson leaves her office. “Are you two planning on sleeping here tonight?” she jokingly asks as she walks past you and your partner, Det. Nick Amaro. “Go home, paperwork can wait,” she says, “Good night.”
You look over at him and almost get lost in his brown eyes, then compose yourself slightly so you don’t seem too obvious. “C’mon, I’ll drive you home.” he says. This has been happening a lot, not that you were complaining. You weren’t purposely trying to be alone with him but you’d be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it.
Your apartment was ten minutes away, but he insisted. Every time you’d talk about random nothings. Sometimes you’d overshare about yourself, your and family and sometimes he’d talk about his life. Then you’d lay awake cringing about what you’d said. Tonight, you thankfully chatted about music.
You raise the volume and blast Taylor Swift. “I should’ve known you listened to her,” he teases.
“She’s a lyrical genius, what else can I say?” you reply smiling.
“Yeah? Try listening to You Belong with Me on repeat for weeks, my daughter is obsessed.”
You laugh and reply, “A lady of taste.” You ramble on, “So she’s releasing a new album named after her birth year which is also my birth year.”
He pulls up to your building, he smiles and you say thanks. When you unlock your door, you head straight to your bathroom since it's late and you have a shift tomorrow. You strip off some of your clothes on your way to the sink. As you’re brushing your teeth, you pause and stare, you feel so pathetic. He’s my coworker and he’s married, not even legally separated. He’s that nice to everyone, I’m nothing special. Stop thinking about him. You want to scream at yourself. You step into the shower and as you lather yourself with soap, you think about him. The way he smells like a man and it makes you want to drown in his scent. The silver ring he still wears on his finger, how you long for its coldness on your skin. His brown eyes, you got lost in them so often. His lips, everywhere on your body. His smile, you bet he’d smile like that whilst gazing up at you. When you get out of the shower you feel dirtier than when you started out.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
7:45 am
You’re about to snooze the alarm for what feels like the tenth time, and then you open your eyes and glance at the clock. Shit, I’ve got to get dressed. You shower, moisturize, and put on underwear, pants, and a blouse. You apply lip gloss and some light bronzer, blush, and mascara. You are there to work. You remind yourself. Don't look at him unless you have to.
You thank the universe that New York is so fucking cold because you would’ve been a sweaty mess by the time you reached the precinct.
You chided yourself for being late, already dreading the day and the fact that you’ll have to suffer through the precinct’s generic coffee because you didn’t have time to eat breakfast. You put your bag down and just as you take your coat off, you notice a cup of coffee on your desk from the little cart across the street. “Nick, thank you.” you manage to say before burning your tongue on the bittersweet taste.
After the briefing on the Stevenson case, you and Amaro were sent to interview the victim and her parents now that she was out of surgery. Margaret Stevenson: a seventeen, white female, was kidnapped by an unknown assailant sometime after she left school, on her way to her home, twenty-five minutes away. She was beaten, raped, wrapped in only a bed sheet, and left for dead on the subway, twelve hours after she was reported missing. The rape kit was still being processed. Her parents had insisted she was a straight-A student and didn’t have time for a boyfriend. Her friends claimed that if she was seeing someone, they had no clue who he was.
She was awake now and talking to her dads.
“Hi, Det. Amaro, Special Victims, and this is my partner” Nick gestures to you while mentioning your name, “Can we have a moment with Margaret?”
After the parents leave, you take a seat on the chair next to her bed while Nick stands. “Margaret, can you tell me the last thing you remember?” you ask. She hesitates.
Nick notices and says, “Margaret, do you know the person who did this?”
On the verge of tears, she replies, “I don’t want to get into any trouble.”
You gently touch her hand, “Honey, you did nothing wrong. We just wanna catch the person who hurt you.”
She starts crying, “It's the college scout, Dean Michaelis, I’m sorry I didn’t want to ruin my chances of a scholarship.”
“Do you think he’s done this before?” you query as you drive back to the precinct.
“I think so, maybe we’ll find his M.O. in ViCAP. I think he’s escalating.” When you get back to the precinct, you let Liv know everything the vic told you, along with your theory.
“He’s definitely escalating.” she says when similar cases were found, “Do you think the school knows?”
You add, “Possibly, was there any DNA found?”
Liv replies, “Only Los Angelos, Georgia, and Ohio haven’t even tested the rape kits.”
“The rape kit came back with DNA from under her fingernails and semen, all from the same guy.” Odafin ‘Fin’ Tutuola tells us as he puts the phone down.
“I’ll call Barba for a warrant for DNA, Fin and Rollins, go pick this bastard up.” Olivia commands as she dials the office phone number for the Assistant District Attorney, Rafael Barba.