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Ninian's Dragon Thoughts - Blog Posts
Oh fuck I haven't been posting my 30 days challenge... I'LL GET BACK TO IT SOON I PROMMY
Fuck I should probably post some of my art here shouldn't I...
I'll do it tomorrow I need sleep ... curls up on treasure hoard
Had a bit of kin euphoria yesterday, and it was about something that I don't think most people would think is related to otherkin stuff.
Context— for the past few months, I've been running. One mile a day, four days per week. It started off being fucking painful and draining and awful. Took around 17 minutes to run a mile at first. I have since shaved that time down to running the mile in 11 minutes, 32 seconds. I'm proud of that.
The reason I'm working out at all is because I'm a dragon. I have always believed that the body I'm in is weak and frail, especially compared to the strength I could have as a full dragon. So in order to reclaim some of that Draconic strength... I'm going to train my body and get it to some level of actual fitness. Not feeling frail would do more to ease my species dysphoria than anything else.
And that's what happened yesterday. All of my training has been done on a treadmill, indoors (I don't get out much. I'm one of those dragons that stays in her cave every day). Yesterday was one of the first times I ran outside WITHOUT a treadmill... So I actually had a frame of reference for how fast I was running and how my body felt doing it.
It felt like I was stepping on clouds. My body felt so LIGHT. It felt easy to move. After so many years of having weak legs, and growing up being unable to run at any speed faster than a jog, I finally felt like that issue was behind me. I've gained strength. My claws aren't digging into the earth beneath my feet as I run, and I'm not feeling the wind beneath my wings. But I feel more like a dragon now than I ever have.
MUCH closer to how I really look this time! It's kind of funny how there's literally just an option for exactly how the underside of my wings should look. I love it!
Only gripe with it is there's no snout shape that looks crocodiley. Some of us dragongirls have long narrow snoots :> But Like. Aside from that omg this is so well made!!!!!
Also! There's a bug with the webbed feet hind legs. You can't change the webbing color properly.. Just letting you know!
Thank you so much to those who offered feedback on the new version preview page - the main dragon builder has now been updated! Custom colors, expressions, different types of legs, plenty more!
SO MAD RIGHT NOW.
Lately I've been trying to sleep on my stomach, like how a dragon would. I do this by putting a pillow down beneath my hips when laying down, to simulate the feeling of laying on top of a treasure hoard. This is also more healthy for someone with a human-shaped spine. Sleeping on your stomach can mess up a human's back without that.
A few nights ago, I slept like that and woke up with no back pain AT ALL. Like .. LESS than the usual amount of back pain. Which gave me a ton of kin euphoria. Sleeping like a dragon actually helped me feel better. I could hold my head high, and I felt stronger. One of the most powerful feelings on the god damned planet.
So I tried again last night. Got comfy.
And then FOR SOME REASON, I SHIFTED THE PILLOW IN MY SLEEP SO IT WAS BENEATH MY HEAD AGAIN.
IT WASN'T EVEN COMFORTABLE!!!
So now I've just got back pain again and my neck is so sore that I'm positive it'll give me a headache later. So mad. Why did I do that in my sleep. Sleep-Ninian is an idiot.
Well shit I guess I'm transpecies, by this definition. Like, the whole idea of pursuing different life paths that line up with your species. I'd like to actually get in shape so I can at least have some semblance of the strength I'd have as a dragon. Can't exactly teach yourself to blast gigantic beams of ice from your throat but. You can learn to build muscle.
I dunno if id do bio-hacking but some scale tattoos would be nice
Also I'm letting my nails grow out so I have dragon claws muahaha I am a danger to society >:D
Re- your question about trans-species.
I obviously can't make a lot of physical changes as I would like to, and I think people get hung up on "surgery" when there isn't much that can currently be done. for me, being trans-species is more about making paradigm changes and pursuing certain life paths/not hiding aspects of non humanity. I'm an alien and basically I'd say my "transition" was about recognizing that aspects of my life are so terribly distressing to me because I'm just not human and then making a choice to change those things to suit being an alien. It felt like getting more serious about actually accommodating being non human.
An example- I don't have a normal circadian rhythm anymore, I hacked it over time by not forcing myself to stay in bed when I inevitably wake at 3 am. I support this with naps when I need them but my kin dysphoria lessened when I saw aspects of human living as societally constructed. It's controversial, which is why I'm on anon, but trans-species can mean a lot of things, but it for me is about making the choice to allow aspects of your kin self to be more physical or be more visible. be that body mods or some other kind of bio hacking.
Some of this, yes, is not good for the body. Like toe-walking for the feeling of digi legs for example. I make sure to stretch after spending time doing something like that. It's all a risk assessment kind of thing.
It's just people think it's about physical ears and tails but it can be about lots of aspects of one's lifestyle.
this answer was actually so fucking perfect, thank you so much, im so sorry it took me so long to respond, i had no idea what to say
i had been ever so slightly questioning if i was perhaps trans-species when id posted my question, thanks to all the answers i got ive come to the conclusion that im not as i dont have the desire to transition into my species. i already am my species :)
thank you, my fantastic alien anon, and thank you to everyone else who responded to my post for all your great answers, and please, by all means, keep sending me stuff!! i wanna learn about yall, ur so cool :)))