Not What I Expected - Blog Posts

“Yeah I know…but within those two years you kept trying to kill me.”

“I mean YEAH! That’s the gig of being a bad guy, Darlin!”

“AYE! You ain’t there yet bud! You didn’t even ask me out!”

“…so…want to go out for dinner tonight?”

“I-I wow-“

“Smooth, ain’t i? Wait why do have a gUN-“

“did you not see i was flirting with you? at all?!”

“to be fair, you are very hard to read,”

“it’s been two years!”

True!

But you have to remember you can’t dwell on what you lost! You have to keep moving forward!

Sides when your a adult you can watch whatever you want! Even if it’s for kids your a adult! If you want a happy meal go right ahead it’s your money! If you want to fucking thrown a snowball at someone, RUN GO HIDE-

Though it’s cheesy you have to stay positive and keep on living!

When you’re a child, you just want to be an adult and when you’re finally an adult, you just want to be a child.

To rephrase this “Your putting a descendent of a wolf into sheep’s clothing”...and that descendent lOOKS LIKE DIS-

WHAT A CUTIE PIE! WHAT A FLOOF! I JUST WANT TO PET DA PUPPER FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER I CAN’T-

Putting a wool sweater on your dog is putting a wolf in sheep’s clothing

While everyone is probably one upping one another I thought I would share this!

Sure I do overthink while I drift off to sleep but then I at least think of one silly thing or one happy thing that brings me a smile!

It can be a cute dog! Me petting and adopting said dog, playing with that dog or something like being surprised with a cat that was sitting on my doorstep! What would I do with that said cat?

Or I think of things I’m in love with! Like Video Games, Writing, Art! Things that bring me a smile...or I think of something dumb like-

THEN I WOULD BE LAUGHING MYSELF SLEEP-

All I’m saying is think of one thing that makes you smile!

Overthinking yourself to sleep is the adult version of bedtime story

I did not make dis creature I am only relaying it’s message.

Talking ⭐️ Stars

I like looking at the stars.

It ain’t a unique hobby but to me it’s a very special kinda hobby.

When I was younger I grew up in a city. The street lights were my stars and as a kid the sirens of police cars or an ambulance sirens would lul me to sleep...they still do sometimes!

I was a independent child. Two hardworking parents who never had that much time for me. Still they loved me...I think.

One time my mom came into my room one night and hugged me until I fell asleep, around that time it was when my parents marriage had some cracks and they wanted to fill them.

She hugged me, she told me how much she loved me...and that she was sorry. I was 14 when she did that. She said sorry that she was around, like she was around but not you know AROUND.

She says that she regrets not spending that much time with me when I was younger. Instead having our service dog do all that. I had a service dog as a kid...why? Eh, I don’t really like talking about it.

But when I was a tween and a teen it was hard to get out of bed...hard to eat, hard to take care of myself. I wanted to disappear. A couple of times I almost did.

But Pico helped me. He was a very polite doggo. He always wanted cuddles and always wanted to help me out....especially after a anxiety attack.

I’m still recovering. I’m still trying to believe my mothers words, that I matter and that I’m loved by her and my dad.

My dad..He died when I was 18 years old. It was a car accident. It was before my birthday and he said that he wanted to make up for not being there for me when I was a kid and says that not that I’m a adult that we should try rekindle our Father/Child relationship.

He was gonna give me a surprise gift...he wanted to take me to Japan. He and Mom soMeHOw knew I loved anime and always wanted to move to Japan. He was gonna take me there.

Before he died.

It was hard. My entire life has been pretty hard.

Coming out as non-binary to my parents made it less hard. They knew I was not their son nor daughter, I was their child. They loved me for who I am.

My friends didn’t have a positive reaction. Still addressing me as “Corbin” then “Jay”. I had it and just cut them off. I realized on how toxic they became. They all gossiped and just said terrible things I dare not repeat.

But now...I’m passed that. I’m Jay Garcia. I’m 23 years old and I’m a artist who loves anime and painting. I love the stars.

Someday...I’m going to be there.

@notsiva oH mY GooDnEsS! Of course! I mean what I said your story was top notch!

I’m so happy that I made your morning because you made mine!! This morning I was feeling down but you just make me smile like a doof!🥰

@namelessknight made my fucking morning. Thank you so much 🥰

Garden

Written by: NamelessKnight

I look at my once beautiful garden. All the flower beds, every pot and every living breathing thing here is either in great pain or in...not so nice positions.

Positions that would be hard for a plant to grow that is.

After the hectic storm that plagued me all night and day it finally went away...but at what cost?

There’s a lot of work to be done to make my garden awake and stable once again.

So what do I do? I walk towards a large oaky tree that is in the middle of my shambled like garden, sit down on the wet soggy grass and close my eyes and...sleep.

Though my mind is tired I must check the body. The Machine. It’s heavier then usual and hard to move around when I’m in this state of mind, but for now I must do what I can with what I have.

When I get home I’m definitely gonna take a nap...and fix my wonderful garden.