Nyx Rambles - Blog Posts

I'm back in the fucking building again.

and by the building, I mean finishing my drawings on my phone, with my finger, in ibis paint. because I have unresolved issues with my iPad and I'm to scared to work on it.

Anyway, here's cat boy/neko Virgil, cause I'm thinking of old fanfics I read and thinking "I can do better"

(And also spreading propaganda for my "give cat girls/boys more cat looking traits" agenda)

I have a concept of the world and story and such. A quick summary under the cut

for most of the worlds know history nekos been believed to be lesser than humans, and been treated as pets/property. But there's been a lot of push back on that the last decade or so, and recently (like a few years ago) owning/selling nekos has finally become illegal, as they've finally acquired rights. However there still exists a black market for it. And that's where Virgil grew up, until around the start of the story when he finally gets away.

He ends up with the other sides, who've been Champaign for neko rights for years, and are closely connected to nonprofit/organisation who focus on the rehabilitation of nekos and their integration into society. And with their help, throughout the story he has to learn and accept the fact he is a person, and not lesser than, as he's been raised to believe he was. Along with unlearning a lot of other things. and what that means for him. Part of that being learning to walk upright, as he was never allowed to. (Hence the crutches)

And who knows, maybe trouble shows up along the way. Like his ex owners/buyer still looking for him, trying to get him back somehow.

I also have a concept of Janus if I ever get around to drawing him properly.

Anyway, the drawing turned out better than I expected. :)

I think the cheek fluff turned out really cute (I'm a huge believer in cheek fluff) I ended up making it the same colour as the skin, as I thought it just looked cute (reminiscent of peach fuzz :]) I will say the sketch was definitely better on the full body, you could actually see the weight of the pose and stuff (I drew a pretty good body)

Although now I realise why I was originally upset to see procreate only had the smudge tool, and not the blur tool. And that's because the smudge tool on Ibis fucking sucks! I was unable to do my typical shading techniques 😔

Also for those curious, my unresolved issues involve it crashing and permanently loosing 4 months of artwork, and it not restoring any of my artwork (5 years worth) 🙃

Am I really gonna talk about the "hear me out cake" video again? Am i really gonna read too much into it again?

Yes. Yes i am

So as I've mentioned before, Virgil is a tublrina, and I think therefore he would be a really bad judge about what is, and isn't unusual to be attracted to (from my interpretation of the dragon comment)

Now why am I bringing this up? Simple, to answer the burning question on everybody's minds!:

"why didn't Virgil pick X character?"

Now, what do I think the answer is? Can you guess?

It's cause a "hear me out cake" is supposed to feature "hear me out"s (duh) aka, questionable crushes/attractions that you feel like you'd have to defend for people to accept. Not conventionally attractive characters. and I think Virgil would absolutely struggle to know what qualifies.

And I mean, the people people are bringing up, I think it's completely fair Virgil just didn't think they qualified.

Like: mothman? Who doesn't want mothman?!? Jack skellington? That's just a conventionally attractive alt man??

I also think it's worth noting that I think as anxiety, he would absolutely be extra cautious with who he chooses, if he isn't 100% sure, he's not gonna risk it!

And that's the jist of it, I don't remember all his picks as I've only watched it once, so I don't remember if he had any truly basic ones. But if he does, I honestly think it just makes it funnier. Like he thinks mothman is just definitely more universally fuckable

Ok so I've been thinking back on fanon Virgil, and the fanfics I used to read back in the days (the horrors, I know) and one trope/genre(??) was "neko" stories. And just, something about the worlds in some of those... It's kinda uncomfortable? Like in most of them the nekos are kinda treated like pets and below humans, even though most of the time they're literally just humans with cat ears and a tail. Like they're fully sentient and can (most of the time) talk!! Also most of the stories I read involved the neko(in my case typically Virgil) being rescued by the others from the black market or something like that.

Now all that isn't entirely bad, I've actually read a few that were pretty good and with an interesting premise! (Although it was forever ago and I doubt I'd find them again) One in particular I really enjoyed was one where it was set just a few years after it had been made illegal to trade/buy and keep nekos as pets, and they've been legally recognised as people. The story followed Virgil being rescued from being trafficked on the black market by the sides,who's been Champaign for neko rights for years. And it follows him learning about and accepting that he is in fact a person, and that the world is not like the one he's been raised in anymore. Sadly it didn't get that far.

Another interesting one that kinda sometimes teeters on the edge of being icky is when nekos are still considered pets, but the sides are huge believers in neko rights. Like they think the way they're commonly treated is disgusting, but have to go along with it in public due to laws. I think it can have some really good dynamics, and the story still works and stuff. Idk I like the way it acknowledges the weird parts of it. I find it pretty interesting.

The ones that just feel kinda yucky, are the ones where they're just treated as pets and property, but it being portrayed as completely acceptable. I think the ickynes is definitely strengthened by the fact it's fanfics. Cause you already know these characters, you see them as people. So seeing one of them being treated as lesser than by the others, it just feels weird. Like yeah sure, the villains treat them as animals, fine, sure. But the "heroes"? The people who are supposed to rescue them from this horrible situation treating them the same just they're not beating them?

Like let me just give you a bit of an example of a typical story: the sides finds/rescues Virgil, go "aww can we keep it?" They clean him up, and give him a bath(cause he couldn't possibly bathe himself, cause he's got no bodily autonomy) they bond, they ask him his name (cause remember, he can speak English) he reacts badly to something, or says something out of pocket. They pitty him going "awe poor thing must've been abused" and stuff. And later they're all like "oh hey let's go shopping! We need to get him a collar :D" which is like???? Like yeah sure lets have this wholesome moment where they get him new clothes and a collar, cause he's not allowed to be outside unless he's accompanied by an owner and on a leash :) (like do you see what I'm getting at?) and one of the most outrageous ones is one where they have a wholesome moment where he gets actually good food for the first time, and he has to eat on the fucking floor?!?!? Hello???

Now, I think what irks me is the way it's conveyed? Like the way these moments are conveyed as wholesome and cute, it feels as if the author doesn't see anything wrong with it. Like I don't think I would be that weird to me if the author ever said something like "I know this might be seen as weird, but it's not intended and it's just fiction so let's move on" it's the idea that they don't see the issues. Like I love reading fucked up and problematic shit (toxic ships and yandere tropes my beloved) but at least that's typical with the understanding that we both (reader and author) understand the fact it is problematic and fucked up.

Idk this is really long and rambly, and don't know what else to say, just wanted to get my thoughts out about this I guess??? might be making a different post about old fanon Virgil cause oh boy-

Y'all, does anybody actually know what raccoon bites piercing actually are??? Like are they actually a thing?? What do they look like?!? Am I going crazy??!?!?? Goggle won't tell me!!!!???!?

Please this is very important to me, cause I think it would be funny to give Virgil them cause he'll always be a raccoon in my heart. Just like I always give Janus snake bites

You know what? I think all the sides could be cats without having to bastardise their characters

Virgil's type from the "hear me out cake" video being "could kill me" is so fucking funny to me and also opens up some funny ship dynamics!

Like what I immediately thought of was Roman listing reasons to Virgil as to discourage him from dating his brother, and saying "he could/would kill you!" and Virgil just going "oh shit... He could, couldn't he" achieving the opposite result.

And with Logan, seeing him get angry with orange eyes and just thinking "oh damn, he could kill me😳" (inspired by this post https://www.tumblr.com/batiataki/776215239653998592/oh-damn-myself-jumpscare-silly?source=share )