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Payneland - Blog Posts
Bro is LOSING the IDGAF war against a crow and a cat.
Welcome to the reverse verse! This is part 1 of 2 of a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and I can't wait to tell you all about it, because I'm incapable of being normal and chill about these concepts, so I ran with it.
Charles Rowland was born in 1900, his mum was from India and moved to the UK after marrying Charles' dad, a soldier who was not... very loving. Charles' heritage gave him some problems, but none as bad as that one time in 1916 when he was sacrificed to a demon and spent the next 7 decades in Hell. He doesn't like to talk about it, except when it can get him what he wants. He was always an angry boy, or so he thought, but after his time spent in Hell, it became so much worse. He's explosive and unpredictable, and so he mostly avoids conflict. He doesn't need to fight anyone, as his charming personality and sweet smile (plus a few smart calculations) always seem to be enough to convince people to give him what he asks for. And when the fight is inevitable... well, he has Edwin for that!
Edwin Payne grew up very sheltered, in a deeply religious home, and he is proud of that. Don't try to argue with him, because he surely has a Bible verse that will help him win (and if not, he is not above using his croquet mallet now that he has someone to keep safe). Unfortunately for him, he realized at a quite young age that he felt attraction towards other boys. Even worse, somehow other people could tell as well, including those peers that ended up killing him for it (the rumour spread throughout school was that he had died due to AIDS, and most people just accepted it). He never acted on those unnatural urges of his, but when he met this ghost who had just escaped Hell... he decided not to risk eternal damnation, and to stay here with Charles, instead. Edwin has no interest in the supernatural or in magic, and sort of looks down on them, but luckily his friend's got that covered.
Instead of a confession Edwin came out to Charles on the staircase
~O~0~o~0~O~
“I’ve never actually really thought about it until you asked me,” Edwin said into the quiet air, pulling Charles back from his own thoughts.
“Huh?” Charles asked.
“What it’s like.” Edwin said. “Being in love.”
“Oh.”
“It’s like- no words can describe it, right? But at the same time, I feel like I could use every word in every language, and it would still never be enough.”
Charles didn’t say anything. What was he supposed to say to that?
“Honestly I feel like I could probably talk forever about it.” He seemed to realize what he was saying and looked over at Charles. “It’s not like I could ever talk to our friends about it though. I mean- not that I don’t trust them. It’s just not really the kind of thing you tell them.” Charles got it. If Edwin ever brought anything like that up to Crystal and Nico, he would never ever hear the end of it.
“You can talk to me,” he offered, his voice more of a whisper than he meant it to be.
Edwin looked at him a minute, his expression unreadable. “Thanks,” he said finally.
“Yeah,” Charles said softly and his heart rate sped up, just a little. Silence fell between them again. …
“You really want to hear about it?” Edwin asked later that night.
“If you want to talk about it.”
“I don’t want to feel like I’m just making you listen to me talk.”
Charles shrugged. “I like listening to you talk.” That seemed to be enough to assure him.
Edwin thought for a moment. “It is,” he said, “the most amazing and terrifying feeling I have ever known, at the same time.” He closed his eyes as if trying to picture it. “It feels almost- almost unreal,” he said once he opened them again. “Like maybe I’m just imagining everything and I’m going to wake up at any minute. And yet it’s like the most sure thing I have ever known. It’s like standing on the edge of a cliff, and someone is supposed to be at the bottom to break the landing, but I’ve already jumped off before checking if they’re there. Every time I see him, it’s like the breath has been stolen from my lungs, and my whole world has been turned upside down. And yet- he makes everything fall into place. And it’s breathtaking. Like when we’re together, everything is how it’s meant to be. Like right there, in that moment, everything is right. Like nothing else matters when I’m with him. And then I look at him and… Looking at him is like looking at forever.”
“Oh,” Charles said, because what else could he say?
“It’s everything,” Edwin said softly, looking over at Charles. “He’s everything.”
Charles caught his gaze and his smile was breathtaking. And oh. Because that’s how Edwin had described it. Breathtaking. But Edwin was talking about the boy who held his future. And this was just Edwin. His best friend. So maybe it didn’t have to be the love of his life to find someone breathtaking. Maybe best friends can be breathtaking too, he decided.
Charles flopped back onto the couch, letting his head fall against the arm. “Tell me about him?” he asked.
“Okay,” Edwin agreed, then paused. “I’m not very good at describing people,” he said.
“Tell me anyway.”
Edwin was quiet a moment, like he was trying to gather up the courage to speak. “He has the prettiest brown eyes that light up when he talks about something he loves, and the most charismatic smile you’ve ever seen. He’s kind and he’s smart, even if he doesn’t think he is. He’s brave and compassionate and spontaneous…” his voice trailed off. “And he’s perfect,” he said. “I wish he could see that.”
“You could tell him,” Charles suggested, but when Edwin smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes.
“He wouldn’t listen,” he said quietly.
PART 8 Everybody’s alive AU, where Niko is a friend of Edwin and Charles is a friend of Crystal
Charles realizing he's in love with Edwin after all, my beloved
I have yet another obsession. (Please send help.)
Day 5 - Snuggles
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Patreon | Ko-Fi
Please look at this very much superior post, which gave me the idea in the first place and reminded me that ice slating does very well exist:
Prompt: "This was supposed to be fun"
Charles and Edwin finished solving a case about a ghost who was drowned in a lake and afterward decided to go ice skating as a little celebration and date. Well an unexpected icy snowball strikes Charles and he falls, falls through the ice underneath his feet and falls into the frigid depths. But swimming as a ghost is something quite different from swimming with a corpse and all while you're practically reliving how your living self died in the same tragic setting? That's killer. Charles isn't simply panicking but his brain is completely turning off, primal instincts overriding any last shreds of control he had over his body. He's thrashing in the water like a shark with its fins cut off, utterly helpless.
Edwin is there though. He fishes Charles out of the lake, draping his outer jacket over his hysteric and violently convulsing partner and brings him back to the office. He lays Charles on the couch and moves the entire sofa beside the building's radiator (something originally intended for crystal). He politely pokes his head in Crystal's room-- quite literally-- requests as many blankets she's not using and piles them onto Charles.
When he wakes up/comes to his senses the next morning Edwin is there professionally sitting on the floor beside him and drinking hot cocoa while reading a book. Charles takes his cup and has a sip, shivering at the moist sensation of his clothing sticking to his skin.
I don't tend to get too wild over actors these days but this is just really very cute
too many blorbos, too little time
Here are my ideas for the Payneland twin AU (pls feel free to correct me, I’ve got a bad memory and I have a feeling that idea ten is wrong/incorrect):
Edwin and Charles have twin sisters
Introducing: Eden Payne, twin sister of Edwin Payne and Charlotte Rolland, Charles’ twin sister.
Eden has the ability to summon the main protagonists of books by throwing the book across the floor and saying the book’s title aloud ( the book’s pages will tear themselves off of the cover, fold together like origami to form the character).
Charlotte has a pair of traditional Indian Tiger Claws which she fights with
As a result the duo are called The Tigeriess and The Librarian
Edwin and Charles are both the older twins by five minutes
The girls died five months after their brothers by opposite ways
Eden Payne died by suicide and, by doing that, avoided being sacrificed to a demon
Charlotte Rolland was killed when a group of boys poured petroleum on her and set her on fire for trying to contact her brother’s spirit
Charles and Charlotte mirror each other; Charles has gold piercings on his left ear and Charlotte has silver piercings on her right ear, Charles wears gloves but Charlotte doesn’t (unless she is handling iron)
Both girls are in a romantic relationship and have been for twenty years
The girls also searched for their brothers while helping ghosts who were in need of help like their brothers
Edwin and Eden confessed their feelings first, Charles and Charlotte confessed later
The Payne twins fell first but the Roland twins fell harder
Sooo… here’s another DBDA headcannon: Charles and Edwin both have twin sisters; Charlotte Rolland and Eden Payne, who have been searching for them for over thirty years and five months (the months have been added on as they both died five months after their brothers) and they just hear about Edwin and Charles’ detective agency. They go to hire them and surprise! It’s their brothers who are running the agency.
Fanfic prompt; Charles, Crystal, and the Cat King (I forgot his human name) co-own an antique store. Edwin, Niko, and Monty are antique hunters. Simon switches between both occupations. They meet and romantic shenanigans begin with poor Simon as the seventh wheel (or at least until Monty and the Cat King find him to be a “fascinating specimen”).
Oh and Jenny is the landlady of the antique store and the Night Nurse is the manager of the antique hunters.
I really appreciate that crystal isn't villainized in order to ship payneland, at least from what I've seen.
!!
Ooh, now that we’ve seen N!Edwin and DP!Edwin talk about Feelings could we see the same with N!Charles and DP!Charles?
As simple as that.
Edwins version
ko-fi
i dunno man! maybe it's just "i don't need charles to protect me" "i'd do it anyways, won't i?" and "there's no one else i'd go to hell for"
maybe it's just "she has damage" "shut it, edwin" and "so, you'll be leaving then?" "oi!"
maybe it's just "if we simply killed her, this wouldn't be an issue anymore" and "if she had died last night, i would have no problem with her staying"
maybe it's just "guess you're a lot alike, really" and "well, that sounds a lot like you, doesn't it?"
maybe it's just "you know boys can like like each other, right?" and "it is normal, now" and "it's not 1916 anymore" and "it's not 1916, you know"
maybe it's just charles' baseball bat and charles' cricket bat
maybe it's just larry & edwin chatting about queerness on a beach, and niko & edwin chatting about queerness on a beach
maybe it's just charles throwing a smoke bomb at the afterlife demon, and charles throwing a moltov cocktail at an afterlife demon
maybe it's just the lantern passed on in moments of strength and light and love
maybe it's just the FUCKING PARALLELS between dead patrol and the netflix adaptation that make me FERAL
what we must all remember is that, though in n!dbda edwin has charles wrapped around his finger, dp!dbda charles has edwin wrapped around his finger.
dp charles: we should go help danny dp edwin: we're in the middle of a case??? dp charles: and? i have brown eyes & you are weak
dp edwin: i don't want to do this it's dangerous dp charles: has brown eyes dp edwin: FINE we'll do the thing
is being really pretty a requirement to play those gay ghost boys or
Hi, can you draw a Doom Patrol!Payneland x Good Omens crossover?
I'm a little in love with the fact Ty Tennant is David Tennants kid
Crowley is thinking that little dead boys who travel between dimesions are way above the pay grade he doesn't have
ko-fi
Role Reversal. Charles is from 1916. Edwin is from the 80s. Charles dresses formally, maybe a nice waistcoat. Edwin has a modest alternative look going. Charles, after 70 years in hell, smiles through anything to keep from looking broken. Edwin, who'd been living during the HIV/AIDS crisis, would never breathe of or process his sexuality. Maybe they still maintain their brain and brawn dynamic. People just get really confused when this kid gentleman is great at fisticuffs and pulls boxing gloves (or knuckle dusters!) from his bag. They get intimidated by the looks of this dark-clothed twink that chills everyone with a bitchy look and a little spellcasting.
Something about how they still find each other, and themselves, in every universe no matter the circumstances.
Do you think you can draw fem!Doom patrol Payneland? <3
Since the DBD ones are Charlotte and Edith, these shall be Charlie and Edwina(?)
insane how people act like charles is ‘the jealous one’ like edwin didnt spend the whole first episode screaming crying throwing up every time charles looked at crystal and not him
DEAD GIRL DETECTIVES
I just know that they got what was going on between them much faster
Tada! Here is my fic! Don’t judge if it sucks because i just started writing fics two weeks ago! Enjoy!
I need more of Edwin crawling out of hell, desperate and barely breathing and hurting but thinking about the field behind the school. About the lake and how gorgeous the sun looked on it. How warm the air was. His brother surely having won the war and how proud his parents would be when he made it home (he didn’t) and wanting so deeply and completely to be Edwin again only to stumble into a dark school, cold and unfeeling, hopeful and bursting with disbelief only for it all to be gone. It’s decades later, no one remembered him, the world is gone and then there’s a boy who somehow feels like a piece of him some 70 years later, still quivering and cold and hurting in the attic. Give me an edwin who holds him anyway but feels that little light inside him dim cause dreams are for the living - for boys who still have a future, who don’t know that time doesn’t change anything.
An Edwin who finds it slowly coming back cause that boy found hope again just like him except his never dims, he just holds their lantern tighter and smiles at Edwin like he himself is the sun cause to him he is