Pim - Blog Posts

HAPPY LATE CHRISTMAS!!

and jolly drawings...

29,12,2024

allan's tone

what would happen if pim and charlie from smiling friends were hired to make ren smile again

pim and charlie would only be needed in the days leading up to chapter 17 because after that ren is living his best life.. even at the cost of the rest of the world 💀

The Haneda Airport’s terminal buzzed with the serene sound of announcements and the clatter of luggage wheels every now and again. The cherry blossom air fresheners did little to hide the dead scent of jet fuel and stress.

The lilac, energetic, bright-eyed creature bounced on his heels while waving around a tourist pamphlet covered in cartoon Mount Fujis. “Charlie, Charlie, did you know you can rent a café where you just cry with strangers? Japan’s amazing! They even have toilets that sig to you!” Pim exclaimed, however, Charlie was nowhere nearly as impressed. “Yeah, yeah, great. Don’t forget this country also bayoneted pregnant women in Nanking. Try not to fall in love with the scenery too fast..” Charlie grumbled, “Oof, Charlie, you’re really good at killing in the mood. That was almost one hundred years ago.” Pim muttered, “Yeah, well, trauma’s hereditary. So, buckle up, bud.” Charlie deadpanned as a sleek, black car waited on the curbside. High-rise towers glinted in the sun, though none as cold and isolated as the one they were approaching.

A woman— Mira Yamane stood chic and composed, but clearly desperate outside with a tablet, her hair was pinned back in a way that implied she hadn’t slept in days. “You’re the Smiling Friends, right?” Mira affirmed with a raised brow, “That’s us! You want us to help your husband smile? That’s what we do best!” Pim confirmed with a beam, “We also clean up crime scenes, once.. But yeah, smiling.” Charlie cut in, Mira’s eyebrows straightened up while her lips pursed into a thin line, gaze narrowing if anything. “Just.. Do what you can, Ren hasn’t smiled since he tore a Skullcrawler in two.” Mira urged, Pim and Charlie followed her inside the building where their client, Ren Serizawa sat at a table in the dead center of a brutalist room. Everything was made up of cold steel, concrete, and black curtains. Unusually enough, a flatscreen of Monster Zero tearing through Antarctica.

One odd thing to note about Ren was he wore sunglasses indoors, though the pair quickly learned it was not out of an odd fashion choice, but necessity. A dull, hopeless hum followed him like a storm cloud hanging over his head, he was clad in a designer trench coat, whatever was left of his right eye hidden beneath a matte black eyepatch, cigarette burns staining the table. “You’re the clowns she hired?” Ren alleged, turning to meet their gazes. “We’re more like emotional hitmen, she wants us to shoot you full of serotonin or whatever.” Charlie corrected, Ren stared blankly for a moment. “I’ve been electrocuted, shrapnel drilled into my right eyeball, and sued by the Chinese government.” Ren trailed off, listing it off with his fingers. “Not now.” Ren suddenly added, talking to seemingly himself. “Uh, you good?” Charlie dared to ask, exchanging a glance with Pim. “Peachy. Let’s go, I have a meeting with Shindo.” Ren grumbled, he didn’t seem keen on bringing them along but probably figured he could get a refund since he was in no position to lose money with the pending terrorist charges.

Shindo’s law firm was a shrine dedicated solely to ego, wealth, and influence. The walls were adorned with polished mahogany bookshelves, each shelf meticulously arranged with legal tomes and decorative artifacts meant to impress, a framed photo of Shindo shaking hands with a panicking Prime Minister during the Mass Awakening hung like a self-congratulatory obituary. “I personally oversaw the evacuation of the previous Prime Minister’s twin daughters while Yamata No Orochi chased a cruise ship, people call me a national treasure.” Shindo boosted, “Wow! That’s so heroic!” Pim raved, however, Charlie noticed something over Ren’s shoulder and looked nothing short of disturbed. “You know there’s three dragon heads behind Ren, right? Like, whispering stuff? Does nobody else see that?” Charlie pondered, Shindo froze, a rare moment of silence radiating from the egoist. “What..?” Shindo muttered, Pim looked over Ren’s shoulder, making eye contact with the leftmost head. “They’re like.. Kind of shadowy and floaty. They kind of sound like the drag queen from Powerpuff Girls.” Pim noted, “Yeah, and one of ‘em told me I smell like fear. Kinda rude.” Charlie flatly cut in, Shindo squinted at them, then directed his gaze toward Ren, who managed to look just as clueless as Shindo despite knowing good and well.

Rain streaked across the windshield like falling veins, Pim sat shotgun, pressing his face to the window like a kid in a candy store, Charlie lounged in the back beside Ren. “Charlie, did you know the Tokyo Tower was inspired by the Eiffel Tower?” Pim asked, “Your friend is very educated.” Ren deadpanned, the phrase: ‘They are insects, let us feast.’ slipping out of his tongue in a voice that wasn’t his own, Charlie’s eyes widened— almost comically if it weren’t for the situation. “Okay, what the hell was that? Did.. Did your mouth just talk but like, not you?” Charlie pondered, desperately glancing at Pim for help. “That’s.. Normal for me now.” Ren assured.

Once they arrived at Ren’s residence— a modern Japanese home only nepo-babies like himself could afford, surprisingly— Ren had invited them to crowd around a tablet, Dr. Vivienne Graham was onscreen, running for her life, screaming as Ghidorah chomped her into a blur of viscera and broken bones. “She deserved it, you know? Always clinging to my father just because her father died before she was born. She got the pats on the back, the phone calls, I got a ‘she would understand’ after my own mother died.” Ren ranted, the shadows behind him twitching with glee as if they were capitalizing on his anger. “To this day, I don’t know what she had that I didn’t, whatever my father saw in her— he didn’t see in me. I’m sure you all don’t want to hear about the cliche story of the father who forgot about his son,” Ren trailed off, eyes glued to the video like an elderly woman with AI-generated Facebook memes. “Hey, Charlie, He’s doing that anime villain monologue thing!” Pim pointed out, “Yeah, about any second now he’s gonna yell about ‘a world purified by chaos’ or something like that.” Charlie grumbled, Ren cut them off with an actual bark of a laugh. “Oh god.. You’re.. You’re both morons.” Ren muttered, following shared silence between Pim and Charlie. “Wait.. Did he just?” Pim alleged, glancing at Charlie to ensure whatever was floating over Ren didn’t latch onto them as well. “Mission accomplished, I guess?” Charlie mumbled, “I haven’t in.. I don’t even know how long, not since I tore into Skullcrawler number ten, before Mira started buying sage to exorcise me with.” Ren trailed off, and in that moment, he leaned back, head against the wall with the shadows of three dragon heads accelerated against the wall, eye closed beneath his sunglasses.. A smile— crooked and bitter, but genuine spread across his lips.