Platonic!BAU Team X GN!reader - Blog Posts

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. | Emily Prentiss x GN!reader

Prequel to ‘Welcome Home Kiss’.

Summary; Emily’s past life has finally been revealed and it’s time to get her back. But when they don’t have her anymore Y/N finds it difficult. 

Pairing; Emily Prentiss x GN!reader, platonic!BAU team x GN!reader

Warnings; descriptions of blood/gore, heartbreak, mentions of ED, smoking, swearing (so much angst omg)

Words; 2.5k

No one is permitted to steal, copy or reblog my work as their own!!

Gif is not mine, @imagining-in-the-margins. (couldn’t find one from Emily’s funeral)

Between discovering Emily’s past life as Lauren Reynolds and finding the location of the warehouse Ian was now holding Emily, a whirlwind of emotions flowed through Y/N. Sadness, anger, disappointment and most of all worry. They were so scared for their lover; Was she okay? Was she hurt? Was she strong enough to fight back? These were all questions that flowed through their mind as they drove to the warehouse. 

After a lot of debating, Y/N had joined Derek alongside SWAT officers on their search of the building. They had already taken care of the guards out the front and now they were weaving their way through the building silently. 

*crash* 

Y/N’s ears pricked up at the loud noise coming from the building, it was close. Without hesitation Y/N took off running ahead of Derek, all logic leaving their mind as they ran to the source of the noise. 

“Y/N.” Emily managed to whisper out through the pain when she spotted them. 

“No.” A soft gasp came from Y/N’s lips as she spotted Emily lying on the ground with a wooden stake poking out of her. They ran to her, cradling her head in their hands. “Emily?” They whispered, tears pricking at their eyes. Seconds later Derek came running in, jumping down to Emily’s side. 

“I got her! I got her in the basement on the south side. I need a medic.” He spoke into his comms, the noise carrying through to everyone on the outside. “Prentiss.” He called out grabbing her hands, soft sobs coming from Y/N next to him. “Hey, it’s me. I’m right here. You’re gonna be alright.” Emily’s eyes flutter open and closed, she’s fading fast. Y/N couldn’t do anything but hold their lover’s head, watching her.

“Stay with me, baby. Come on, stay with me.” Derek panicked watching her. 

“Let me go.” Emily breathed out feeling the blood drain from her. 

“No, no. I am not letting you go.” Derek protested. “Help us!” He shouted into the large space, hoping someone would hear him. Looking back at her his heart shattered. “Listen to me. I know why you did all of this. I know what you did for Declan.” Derek tried to get Emily’s attention back but it wasn't working. “I’m so proud of you.” He spoke with grit. “You understand that? I am proud of you because you are my friend, and you are my partner.” His voice gets shaky. They both notice her eyes closing again. “No, Emily!”

“Baby, come on, stay with us.” Y/N’s voice cracked. “Don’t leave me like this.” Y/N stroked Emily’s hair like they always do. “We have our future planned out, you and me against the world, right?.” Tears dripped down their face as they shook their head. 

“If you can hear us, please just squeeze my hand.” Derek gripped onto Emily’s hand, suddenly feeling a gentle squeeze from her. “Yes, there you go. There you go, baby. Just keep squeezing.” He held her hands tightly and within seconds the medics showed up. Derek pulled himself and Y/N away from Emily, holding them tightly in his arms. 

They watched as the medics put her on a stretcher, carrying her out of the warehouse. They followed closely behind, walking in what felt like slow motion. Derek had to guide Y/N out, holding them in his grasp as they met the team outside. Y/N was in shock, every noise was muffled as they walked to the SUV, Derek slipping in beside them. All they could do was stare at whatever was in front of them, eventually getting out of the car and following the team when they reached the hospital. 

They sat in a chair in the corner for what felt like hours or days. Rossi, Hotch and Garcia tried to talk to them but they couldn’t respond, staring at the floor, legs bouncing uncontrollably.  

Eventually JJ walked over to the team, catching everyone’s attention, even Y/N’s, causing them to lift their head. The first thing they all noticed was her red eyes. 

“No.” Garcia was the first to speak, shaking her head as she began to sob. JJ swallowed. 

“She never made it off the table.” JJ finally spoke, breathing deeply. 

Y/N’s body froze, blocking out all the background noise and falling back into shock. 

The love of their life was dead. Gone. They didn’t move, they couldn’t. They were paralysed as their heart shattered into a million pieces. They looked down at their hands, still stained red with her blood. They stayed silent, still, ignoring her friends around her grieving. They didn’t know how long they sat there, staring at their hands but eventually a hand grabbed their shoulder. 

“Kiddo,” Rossi softly spoke. “Come on, you’re coming home with me.” He pulled them up from their seat by the shoulders, wrapping his arm around their shoulders. They didn’t speak, they couldn’t. Somehow they made their way to the car and eventually inside Rossi’s house. He brought them into the guest room without a word and helped them into bed. He pulled the covers up and stroked their hair. 

“Rossi,” They finally spoke, still staring at the wall in front of them. He was just about to leave the room but sat back down on the bed. “Tell me this is all just a bad dream.” Their voice cracked as they spoke, looking up at the man who treated them like his own. He hesitated, not knowing what to say. 

“It’ll be okay, I promise.” He leant down and pressed a kiss to their head, holding their hand. He stood up again and left the room, leaving the door open just in case. They didn’t fall asleep for a while, staring at the wall emotionless until exhaustion finally kicked in. This is where they stayed for the next few days, only taking water from Rossi when he forced them to drink. They didn’t eat, they barely slept, spending most of the time staring at the wall, or the ceiling, or the empty spot in the bed that they sometimes shared with Emily. 

Within days they held a funeral for Emily. And it was the hardest day of Y/N’s life. They got up and Rossi took them to their apartment so they could get dressed. It was a sunny day, Y/N felt this was wrong for a funeral. They didn’t speak to anyone, not when they carried her coffin with their teammates, not when Hotch asked them if they wanted to say a few words, and not even when Penelope approached them. It was hard enough being there, burying their best friend, their lover and who was supposed to be their life partner. Talking to anyone was an extra effort they couldn’t do. 

Only 6 days after her death, everyone was expected back at work. Y/N didn’t show up that first Monday. After the funeral no one heard from them, calls going to voicemail and texts staying on delivered. They had cut off all communication from their team, instead staying locked in their apartment, moving themselves from their bed, to the couch and back to the bed. They still weren’t eating, only drinking water to stay alive, not that they felt they had much to live for anymore. 

During that first week back the team had a case, heading to Portland quickly and leaving Penelope behind in her tech lab. Every day between 5 and 6 pm a quick knock would appear on their door, followed by the sweet voice of Penelope Garcia would flow through the wood, asking if they were alright but never receiving an answer. It wasn’t till Thursday night when she came by again that she became seriously concerned for Y/N’s health, spotting the full containers of food she had left them at the door 2 days prior. 

“Y/N? Please answer the door. I just want to help you.” Penelope called through the door, face painted with concern. After minutes of silence she called Derek who had just gotten back from their case, telling him to get over here asap. He was there within 5 minutes.

“Y/L/N!” He yelled through the wood. “If you don’t open the door I’m going to kick it in.” He waited, hoping it would open and their face would appear but when it didn’t, he had no choice but to get it open himself. He kicked the door open with force, walking strongly into their apartment, searching the kitchen and living room for them. Penelope ran into their bedroom, gasping loudly when she finally spotted them. They were passed out in the bed, 2 times smaller than when she last saw them and barely breathing. Derek rushed in, checking their pulse to find that it was thready and weak. He picked them up bridal style, carrying them out of the apartment and down to his car, Penelope close behind. 

When they woke up again, all they heard was beeping and hushed voices close by. They opened their eyes to a dark room with brighter lights coming from a hallway outside. 

“Wha- where-” They sat up quickly, heart racing at the unfamiliar environment, turning to their right when they felt a soft hand touch their own. Penelope’s sweet face had a beaming smile plastered but glassy, red eyes showed that she was crying previously. 

“You’re in the hospital.” She calmed them down, looking over to the other corner where Derek was standing against the wall. “We found you in your apartment, you-” Her voice cut off, tears fell down her face. 

“You were barely breathing Y/N. The doctors said you hadn’t eaten anything in over a week.” Derek moved to the end of the bed, staring Y/N deep in the eyes. They felt terrible, creating more stress and worry for the team after the past 2 weeks. 

“I’m sorry.” Y/N dropped their head in shame. 

“It’s okay.” Penelope placed a soft finger under their chin, making them look up at her. “We’re here to help you, you know that right?” She spoke softly. They nodded their head in response, travelling their eyes over to Derek. 

It was another week of rest at home, along with supplements to help Y/N get nutrients back into their body before they were allowed back at work. When they did return they were made to have a conversation with Strauss, discussing their prolonged absence before they were dismissed and cleared for the field.

“Y/L/N.” Hotch’s voice carried through the bullpen. Y/N looked up from their desk and towards his office. He was standing in the doorway, motioning his head and indicating for them to come up. They sighed, dropping their pen and standing up. They knew what it was about, Emily. The rest of the team had already had their conversations with Hotch, discussing their feelings and Y/N was the last to go in. They were trying to avoid it ever since returning to work, hiding away from his view everytime he walked past, but it was inevitable. They walked up the stairs and into his office, closing the door and meeting him on the couch. 

“Y/N.” They didn’t look at him, keeping their lips sealed shut. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft and genuine. Their focus remained trained on the floor, legs beginning to bounce from anxiety. They took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears and emotion. 

“I don’t want to do this.” They whispered, shaking their head. “I can’t.” They sighed. 

“Why not?” He sounded like a therapist, voice laced with concern for the agent. They bit their bottom lip, shaking their head again. More tears began to rise in their eyes. 

“Because-” Y/N turned their head to look at their boss. “Because if I do then it becomes real. I don’t want it to be real. I want her to walk through those doors like it was all some big joke.” They looked out at the glass doors. “But she won’t.” Their voice cracked, tears finally falling. “She’s gone, and I-I can’t do this without her Hotch.” They stood abruptly, pacing back and forth. “I’m not me. I’m not who I was. I-I’m broken.” They stopped, staring down at Hotch. 

“You’re not broken, Y/N.” He stood, meeting their eyes.

“Yes, I am. I haven’t cried, I-I can’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I can’t breathe.” Y/N looked at him. 

“You’re not broken, you’re grieving.” He spoke calmly. “You’re allowed to grieve, Y/N.” He explained. 

“I don’t want to.” They shook their head again, hands clutching at their chest. “I held her in my arms, she was breathing.” They were back in the warehouse, holding Emily in their lap as she began to fade.  “I loved her so much.” They look up at their boss, their friend, and their heart shatters again. 

“I know, I know you did.” He stepped closer to them, wrapping his arms around their shoulders, enveloping them in a hug for the first time ever. They sobbed into his chest, not caring about the unprofessional nature of it, he wasn’t the big bad boss right now. He was their friend and he was comforting a friend in a difficult time. 

The sobs slowed and their breathing evened out, Hotch letting go of them.

“Thank you.” Y/N looked up at him, smiling slightly. “Would it be okay if I left a bit early today? There’s somewhere I need to be.” Hotch nodded in response, understanding their situation. 

When they left the office, they headed to the cemetery for the first time since the funeral. The walk from the car to her grave was tough, taking one step at a time. When they reached her headstone they sat on the grass in front, staring at her name engraved in stone. 

“Hey baby.” They smiled. “I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit yet, it’s been hard.” They sighed. Then they reached into their coat pocket, digging around for what had become their current habit. They pulled out a lighter and pack of cigarettes, lighting one in their mouth. They took a deep breath and puffed out the smoke, blowing it into the cool wind. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about this.” They joked to her headstone. “Picked up a very old habit from high school, you’d probably hate it and throw it out if you could.” Their face dropped with their words. 

“I miss you.” They spoke again after a minute of silence. “Like a lot.” They took another hit of their cigarette. “It’s hard doing this without you. Life that is. I don’t even remember how I did it before I met you, but I guess I’m going to have to figure it out aren’t I?” They smiled painfully. They sat in silence at her grave for a while, waiting until their cigarette was nothing but a nub. This might have been the first time visiting her grave, but it wasn’t the last. 

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