Satoru Gojo Angst - Blog Posts

“Why are you so clingy?” P.3

—In which your friendship with Gojo has been going pretty damn well. However, how long until underlying feelings resurface and mistakes are made?

<<part one, part two, part four>>

Laughing, you threw another piece of cake at him, snorting as the icing comically slow, dragged down his face as he gave you an unimpressed eye roll.

“Is it funny?”

“Yes.” You grinned, leaning back in your seat as you licked a piece of cake off your finger. “Damn, I make a damn good cake.”

Wiping the cake from his face and licked it off his hand, he couldn’t help but nod, “I agree.”

“Of course you do, it’s a wonder how your teeth haven’t rotted out.” You quirked a brow, before grabbing your empty plate and his— moving to the sink.

“It’s because I wash them— I’m also *cough* the world’s strongest.” He sat smugly back, watching as you washed the dishes.

It had been a month or so since he’d caught you in that grocery store. A month since you’d become friends again. A month since he’d texted you.

And it’d be 6 months since you broke up with him— broke up with him for him hurting you, calling you clingy and being rude, for neglecting you and leaving you alone.

And he’d been wishing he could turn back time and fix his mistake ever since.

Gojo regretted asking to be your friend, because now, he had to keep his longing a secret. He had to keep his love for you an absolute secret. Else you’ll disappear forever this time.

It’s like a punishment. One he deserves no doubt— but one he wish he didn’t have to burden.

He’d have to keep the way his eyes soften every time you did something cute, or familiar to secret.

Or how he wants and misses your kisses- the way you’d used to wrap your arms around his neck. How you’d pull him in with a smile and some corny joke.

Or how you’d get all dolled up for him whenever he’d take you out— hell he missed how you’d wear his hoodies and a pair of panties around the house.

He missed living with you. Being near you, holding you, everything. He missed you.

And while he got to be near you again and talk to you, it was never the same. In fact, it was almost worse. Having to hide his love— yes, it was his own personal as torture. And yet somehow, he could never pull away from you.

Time passed, and it was like everything was before you two had dated. Before you’d broken up with him.

However, it was getting bad. Bad for you, at least. It’d been bad for him.

Those stupid fucking feelings were boiling over again. Boiling over and infecting your heart.

You wanted to rip your eyes out every time you found them glued to him, or how you found yourself just admiring and adoring him like you used to.

You wish you’d never met him again. But even with that said, your heart longed for him. You longed to have his arms wrapped around you, to hear him whisper sweet nothings against your temple during the late nights again.

You miss him.

And you hated it. Because he hurt you- lord knows he did.

But part of you, a big part, wanted to believe he learned his lesson. That he’d changed.

“Hey, you listening?” Gojo’s brows furrowed and he flicked your forehead gently.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah.” You blinked, eyes dry from how hard you’d been staring at his hands. Oh those hands. His hands. The same hands that would wrap around your throat as he fucked you from behind—

“What did I say?” Gojo was no fool yes he was— he could read you like a book. The way you watched him, how you watched his every move and how you held the same longing in your eyes as he did in his.

And that had his heart racing against his chest like he was some prepubescent teen from high school all over again getting his first hug.

“Uhhh…” You found yourself staring at the way his throat would bob every time he’d swallow, or how his biceps would flex slightly with every little movement- and oh fuck.

“Exactly. What’re you thinking about, hm?” Tilting his head, that stupid shit eating grin stretched across those sexy fucking lips. “I think I have an idea.”

Now that— that had you snapping your eyes up to meet his again. “Huh?” You answered dumbly.

“Look,” Gojo reached across the table, and grabbed your hands in his, “I messed up. Bad. So bad. And I have been trying to make up for that everyday since. Hurting you will forever be my biggest regret—“

“Oh hell no.” Your lip curled in disgust and you tried to yank your hand away, but Gojo’s grip was too tight.

“Listen, please.” Gojo was basically begging. His voice all sweet and desperate, eyes almost puppy like.

Your breath caught in your throat, eyes stuck to his like a rat in a sticky trap. Sighing, you settled back into the seat, “Fuck. Fine. Speak.”

“I miss you, so fucking much. I miss being able to kiss you— hold you, love you, cuddle you. I miss it all. I miss you.” His thumb gently swiped over your hand, his words so sweet you wanted to melt, “and I know you miss me too.”

“You don’t know that.” You were quick to speak up. You didn’t like feeling so read— as if you were just a book left wide open for him to read whenever he pleased. That pissed you off just as much as it made you swoon.

“But I do. I see the way you look at me, the way you watch me. Pretty, I know you want me just as much as I want you,” slowly, his begging turned to a little more confident, “I will be so much better to you. I will be the best boyfriend you’ve ever fucking had.”

You just eyed him. Looking over every single little thing about him. The way his facial expressions would change in just the tiniest little ways. You were analyzing him.

And it made him nervous.

“Please take me back, please. Fuck I’ll do anything, I’ll get on my knees and beg if I have t-“

Gojo was cut off by the feeling of your lips pressing against his in a deep, unforgiving kiss. And fuck, if he wasn’t just as desperate to feel you.

He stood up so fast the chair shot out from under him, and a strong arm sent the table between you flying as he pulled you closer.

It was messy— all teeth, spit and moans. Your hands were all in his hair and on his neck, and he was no better. He couldn’t decide where to leave them, your hips, waist or to just hoist you up so he could hold you.

“Missed you,” kiss “so” kiss “fucking” kiss “much.” He groaned against your lips.

You, however, were quickly yanking yourself away from him when you got your senses back to you. Staring at him wide eyed, you took a step back. “No, no— I can’t- we can’t- no.” Quickly, you grabbed your keys from the bowl and left his house he got a new house so you’d come over.

And Gojo was left standing there, watching as you pulled out of the driveway so fast you left tire marks on the driveway, again.

Sighing softly, he could feel his heart ache. Did he fuck this all up? Probably. Would he give up? Hell no.

Running a hand through his hair, he, in frustration, kicked the chair. Just before picking it back up and mumbling an apology to the inanimate object.

That was just the first time you let temptation take you. And it wouldn’t be the last time.

Because when it came to him, you found yourself growing weak. Even after the shit he’d put you through, you’d always ache for him.

The second time it happened, was actually at a little get together celebration with Gojo and his students, along with Nanami, his wife, and Shoko.

You’d spent the last hour teasing Yuji and Megumi, and had been avoiding Gojo like the plague. But eventually, the man had pulled you aside to finally talk to you.

Calling out your name, he finally got you to sit down with him, but instead of beating around the bush, he was blunt, “you’re avoiding me.”

“What? Psh. No.” Waving him off, you looked away and sipped on your glass of wine. You always had been a wine drinker. Regardless of the fuckass headache you always got after.

“You are. And it needs to stop, please. I can’t handle it.” Gojo looked at you dead in the eye, and that had you swallowing nervously.

“You—…” You cut yourself off and shut your mouth. Before just nodding, your cheeks a light pink as you stared down at your wine.

“Good, because I was about to like— die if I didn’t get to talk to you again.” Gojo sighed in relief, before shooting you a playful, charming grin. All he wanted to do was lock you in his arms and run off into the sunset so you’d be his again.

A playful, charming grin that hid the devastating adoration and love he held for you.

The night so far, had been a success. After your little awkward moment with Gojo, things were back to normal. Or as normal as they could be.

You’d even gotten Yuji to taste your wine— and bless his heart he was wiping his tongue with a napkin and whining.

“This is bad, so bad.” Poor boy had the most disgusted look on his face.

“Poor thing, you fell for her little ‘taste my wine’ trick didn’t you?” Gojo looked at him with fake pity before laughing, “well, at least we know you’ll never be a wine alcoholic.”

Rolling your eyes, you finished the rest of your wine, before placing down three one-hundred dollar bills. You made plenty to pay for the little party and drinks you’d and everyone else had had, including tip.

You missed how Gojo glared at the money you placed down, and when you turned your back, he snatched it up and replaced it his own 5 hundreds. You would not be paying on his watch.

“You sure your good to drive? You had a good few glasses of wine.” Gojo helped you when you stumbled a little. His hand rested on the small of your back as you leaned your head against his shoulder.

“You worried about me?” You shot him a cheeky grin, your cheeks flushed from the few too many glasses of wine you had.

“Always.” He smelled softly down at you, absolutely adoring the way you felt his arms.

“I need to um, get to my car.” You tried to push off of him but stumbled.

“Hell no, pretty you are not going to be driving.” Gojo was quick to pull you back into him, strong arms coming to wrap around your waist.

“Mmk.” You just hummed in response, giving him a dopey smile before getting up on your tip toes to press your lips against his jaw.

Gojo’s eyes fluttered closed at the feeling and his hand tightened on your hips, “don’t do this to me, beautiful.”

“Do what?” You merely nipped at his jaw before nipping at his throat.

“You are such a tease, that much hasn’t changed.” He mumbled against your hair, pressing a sweet kiss before getting you to walk again.

This time, walking you to his own car. “What’s your address, beautiful?”

“Uhh…” you just stared at the ceiling of the car for a moment, completely stumped.

“Right. Uhuh.” Gojo stared at you before snorting, a content grin stretching on his pretty lips as he puts the car in drive. “I’ll just take you to mine.”

“Ok…” you sighed in response, leaning back in the seat, “love you, Toru.”

And that had him near about slamming on the breaks. His hands were so tight around the steering wheel that his knuckles were turning white. His jaw was clenched hard, and his brows furrowed. “You are so, so cruel.”

The ride back to his place was silent. Silent except for the sound of his heart racing and his blood rushing in his ears. Of course you’d say some shit like this when you got drunk. Of course.

“Up you go,” Gojo easily lifted you onto the bed. Sitting you down, he stood between your knees as he straightened you up. “You feeling okay?”

“Mm.” You merely hummed in response, leaning your head against his shoulder, going all slack in his arms.

Gojo sighed softly through his nose, before gently lifting your blouse over your head and replacing it with his own shirt. And soon your pants were yanked off promptly after. “Comfortable?”

“Mhmm…” nodding, you let your body fall back against his bed. Sighing in relief at the feeling of the cold comforter against your back.

Gojo nodded, and sat down the money you’d tried to use to pay for the party on the dresser, you could grab it in the morning.

“Right. Well, guess I’ll just uh… go sleep on the couch.” Gojo mumbled, mainly to himself. However, you quickly stopped him with your foot.

“Wait…come back,” you grumbled, your foot pressed flat against his back.

Gojo looked at you unimpressed, “really? This is a new shirt y’know.” He bitched and grumbled knowing damn well he’d burn his entire closet just to lay down with you again.

So, he easily slid off his shoes, socks, shirt and pants before slipping on a pair of baggy old basketball shorts and crawling into bed with you. He didn’t touch you until you curled up against his chest.

Smiling to himself, he wrapped his arms around you in a protective embrace.

He knew you’d be pissed in the morning…but for now, he’d just bury his face in your hair and enjoy your scent like he used to.

“You really hurt me, y’know?” You murmured against his chest, eyes clothes.

“…I know.” Gojo could feel his heart restricting and his throat burning. That guilt coming back to eat him up, just like it always did.

“I missed you so much… still do. I wish you’d never ruined what we’d had,” Your eyes opened, but only halfway as you let your drunken thoughts spill as they pleased. “I still love you though, think I always will.”

Gojo let out a shaky breath, “I love you too, pretty. I’ll make it up to you, even if takes the next hundred years. I won’t let you go.”

He could feel your smile against his chest and the way you just melted against him. His own eyes threatened to tear up, but he only held you tighter and closer.

Tagged

@peightonnnnn-blog @nonamebbsblog @jup1tersuccubus @emochosoluvr

Everything was perfect. 

"You may kiss the bride." 

Your rosy lips turn upward in a lovesick smile, arms lifting to wrap around Gojo's neck and bring his face closer to yours, the tips of your noses brushing against one another as his arms loop around your waist. With one hand, he holds your waist, and with the other, he slowly begins to lift your leg, hooking it over his hip and dipping you down.  

You let out a tearful giggle, the sound mixing with Gojo's chuckle as he slots his lips against yours, pouring years of love and adoration into a singular kiss. You squeeze your arms around him to steady yourself, smiling against his lips as they move against your own.  

You pull back from him just as his tongue swipes against your bottom lip, no doubt wanting to shamelessly make out with you in front of an audience. But with your family sitting somewhere in the crowd, one of you had to demonstrate self-control.  

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Gojo," Gojo whispers, his breath fanning over your lips as he continues to hold you close. You dive forward, pecking his lips again. He smiles at you, tearful aquamarine eyes crinkling at the corners as he stares down at you; his little wife. 

Everything was perfect. 

"I'm home!" Gojo announces as he kicks his shoes off, turning his body halfway to close the front door and peering around the dim-lighted living room. His eyebrows furrow, arms slapping against his sides as he realizes that you're not running to him to embrace him.  

Slowly, he walks further into the house, curiously peering into the kitchen only to be met with the sight of nothing. Worry sinks into his chest, but he doesn't allow himself to get worked up just yet.  

"Honey?" Gojo's voice is a quiet whisper as he enters the living room, eyes met with a heartwarming sight; you're sat in the center of the couch, arms wound around a sleeping Megumi. The boy leans impossibly further into your side, his head tucked comfortably into the crook of your neck with his body splayed over your own like a weighted blanket.  

His lips turn upward in a soft smile, hand reaching for his phone to photograph the moment and commit it to memory. But just as his fingers brush his phone, something tells him to instead live in the moment as opposed to capturing it.  

Gojo moves to kneel silently beside the couch, reaching out his index finger and lovingly stroking it against your cheek, smiling to himself as your nose scrunches up and you stir slightly. Those eyes that he could spend hours gazing into flutter open, a sleepy smile curling the corners of your lips upward.  

"Hi 'Toru," you whisper, yawning.  

"Hi pretty girl." 

Everything was perfect. 

"Satoru Gojo!" 

Gojo pauses, every bone in his body stilling as he slowly turns to look over his shoulder, swallowing his pride (and dignity) as you stomp over, Megumi not far behind. Gojo glances quickly at Yuuji and Nobara, silently asking them for help – but immediately the two first-years look around, not wanting to stand in the way of your wrath.  

"Hey honey," Gojo says with a smile, already feeling sweat build up against his forehead as you grow closer, eyes flaring with an anger that he had only ever seen once before – and honestly, he had no idea how he had even survived. "What's – uh – what's going on?" 

"What's going on?! You mean to tell me that you're going to stand there and act like nothing is wrong?" Your voice raises an octave or two in volume, making Gojo cringe and shrink in on himself. It was almost entertaining, really. Watching the 6'3 Special Grade Sorcerer be reduced to a shaking mess at the sight of his angered wife.  

Gojo remains silent, not wanting to respond in the fear that you would bite his head off.  

The staring contest between yourself and Gojo is tense, only made worse by the other pairs of eyes that watch quietly from the sidelines.  

Yuuji shifts closer to Megumi, craning his neck just low enough to whisper into his ear, "What's going on?" 

Megumi only smirks, lifting his arms to cross them over his chest. "He ate her leftovers last night." 

Everything was perfect... 

"I understand that your work is important, but you're barely home anymore," you say desperately, closing Megumi's bedroom door and turning on your heel to glance at Gojo. He rubs his hands against his face, skin catching the groan that falls from his lips. 

"I can't just say no to what the higher-ups want me to do, honey. You know that," Gojo responds, not failing to notice how your teeth catch your bottom lip, roughly biting down into the supple skin.  

"You have a family here 'Toru. Your missions are getting more and more dangerous and I – I don't want to be sitting on the couch one day and you just," you pause to swallow the growing lump in your throat, "don't come home." 

Gojo softens, his heart hammering in his chest as he stares silently down at you. Your eyes shine with tears, tears that he desperately wants to reach out and brush away – but something inside of him tells him not to.  

"Megumi needs you here. Hell, I need you here," you say desperately, laying a palm flat against your chest as you step forward to close the distance between yourself and Gojo.  

Something inside you damn near breaks as your husband takes a step back from you.  

"I know. Trust me I know. But there's only so much I can do. They need me (Y/N)," Gojo says. Immediately – the moment that those words fall from his lips – he wishes that he could fucking swallow them.  

You freeze, body standing rigid as your eyes blankly stare at him. Any ounce of emotion, anything that might have made you human is suddenly gone, replaced instead by a robotic stare that chills Gojo down to his very core. 

Silently, you brush past him, shoulder knocking against his chest as you walk down the hallway and vanish into the living room. Gojo stares after you, turning his head towards Megumi's door and screwing his eyes shut – fuck.  

Everything was perfect...? 

"Megumi! Have you seen your mother?" Gojo asks, waving his hand wildly in the air as the raven-haired teenager turns to glance at him, raising an eyebrow in both annoyance and curiosity.  

"She just went out on a field mission, why?" 

Gojo's heart sinks, body deflating as he pockets the necklace that he had planned to give you; a heart locket with a picture from your wedding day inside of it. Megumi watches his adoptive father's shaking hands, and a pang of curiosity flows through his body, but he makes no mention of it.  

"Oh, no reason. I just wanted to give her something," Gojo answers dismissively, waving his hand at Megumi before he lets out a disappointed sigh.  

Everything was perfect? 

"I understand, I'll tell Shoko to prepare a bed now," Ichiji says with a swift nod, though it doesn't go unnoticed how he swallows the lump in his throat. He removes the phone from his ear, pressing down on its red "hang-up" button and stowing the device away in his pocket.  

Curiously, Gojo peers at the assistant manager through his blindfold, tilting his head curiously as the younger man stands from his seat, beelining for the door and disappearing into the hallway.  

The snowy-haired male stands, following closely behind Ichiji and watching as the man's back tenses, his hands curling into white-knuckled fists. What the fuck was going on? 

His breath catches in his throat as he enters the infirmary. One of the tables is occupied, the body covered by a thin white tarp that's stained with the blood of whoever lies underneath.  

Ichiji glances at Shoko, who only stares down at the stained tarp with a numb glint to her eyes. Her hand extends, fingers wrapping over the top of the tarp and lowering it to reveal who lies beneath.  

Gojo's stomach turns.  

Was everything perfect? 

Starry Night

Sypnosis - Sitting together on a starry night...what could possibly be wrong with that picture perfect scenario?

Pairing - Satosugu x ! Female ! Reader

Warning(s) - mature themes

Word Count - 0.7k

! PIECE BEGINS UNDERNEATH THE CUT !

"'Toru? What are you still doing up?"  

The sitting man jolts, his eyes flickering to you, their bright hue dimming as you cautiously enter the living room, draped in one of his shirts. His legs spread, palms patting once, twice against his thigh in a silent invitation for you – one that you accept without hesitation.  

Your head tucks into the crook of Satoru's neck, nose inhaling his scent and committing it to memory – a pleasant mixture of sandalwood and the Earth. To you, it was comfort, it was a reminder of the home that you had built with him and Suguru.  

"The stars are nice tonight, aren't they?" Satoru comments, his arms looping around your waist, holding you against him and tilting his head to rest his cheek against your hair. You hum against him, eyes flickering to the window.  

Painted against the inky black sky are the stars that you and Satoru often watched together, laid out on a blanket on the front lawn and pointing up at them as if you had never seen them before. It was always cold during those nights, which usually resulted in Satoru tugging you against his chest, your body molding against his like a perfect little puzzle piece.  

You two would lay there for hours, simply basking in the other's presence and staring up at the flickering yellow lights that adorned the sky. Both of your trances were only broken by Suguru's softened voice, scolding you both for being out so late and commenting how you would both likely be sick by morning.  

Only then would Satoru roll up the blanket, helping you stand with gentle hands and allowing you to make your way back to the front door first. Softened aquamarine eyes watch as you beeline for Suguru's opened arms, hugging the raven-haired man and smiling brightly as gentle kisses are laid out over your face.  

"Yeah, they're nice," you mutter offhandedly, biting back the yawn that claws up your throat. Your nose scrunches up, an action that Satoru once teased you for – though he stopped once he received a loving smack from Suguru, one paired with a gentle scolding.  

Satoru hums, his eyes fluttering shut at the warmth that radiates from your body. Your breathing had deepened significantly, a telltale sign that you had fallen asleep against him – likely lulled by the gentle thump of his heart and the even rise and fall of his chest.  

He tilts his head, pressing a gentle kiss against the crown of your head and looping his arms underneath you, lifting you against his chest and standing from the armchair. He couldn't have his darling wife sleep in such an uncomfortable position – you deserved much better than that.  

Satoru walks silently to your bedroom, closing the door with his foot and gently laying you down in the sheets, tugging them around you and smiling gently as you adjust yourself. A content sight falls from your nose, cheek smushed against your pillow as you doze.  

He climbs in beside you, tucking you against his chest and tangling his legs with your own. He blinks once, twice...then allows his tired eyes to finally close, welcoming sleep as it beckons to him with softened hands – hands that felt oddly similar to your own. 

And somewhere across the way, resting on numbed legs and rubbing together cold hands, another pair of eyes watches the stars as they glitter in the night sky. He thinks back to a time where he would have enjoyed the stars – maybe even admired their bright yellow hue.  

But that time is not now, and it is a time that he knows he can never go back to – not after what was said and what was done. Besides, he knew it was for the better. His departure from a domestic life was challenging...he had lost count of the tears that he had shed.  

Tonight was one of those nights where he longed for the warmth of a bed, he longed for those two familiar bodies pressed against his own. He longed for the mornings where he would only half-listen to Frank Sinatra and watch as breakfast was prepared for him. He longed for the two people who had shown him endless care and support...but those two people were nothing but a pained memory.  

Tilting his head up at the stars and at the crescent moon, shaky lips turn upward in a smile – one accompanied by salty tears that drip down his cheeks. His mind flashes images of those he longed for; one with snowy-white hair and the other with the kindest smile.  

"The stars are nice tonight, aren't they?" Suguru mutters to himself, hoping that somehow – someway – maybe you and Satoru would hear him.