Scaramouche Angst - Blog Posts

Gosh. When are we going to marry Childe?

Chapter 6: The Final Day

📂 – pairing for this chapter : scaramouche x reader and abit of childe x reader

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📂 – author’s note : all credit goes to their rightful owner! I do not own anything unfortunately

📂 – word count : 8.7k

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The Empress’ demeanour was as remote and as cold as a glacier. Childe stood dazed as he looked at her profile. Her low, gentle voice captivated his ears but her icy voice even more so. How would it sound if she said his name like that?

Childe swallowed dryly as his imagination made his head spin. He wanted to kneel before that overbearing empress and pour kisses on her hand. He wanted to hear her speak in that cold voice and issue commands to him. How would it feel to obey her orders and then to rebel?

It had started out as curiosity. He was curious about the empress of Inazuma, and so he travelled as far as the palace to see her. Despite rumours that she was made of steel or ice, she was surprisingly soft and charming towards birds.

The rumours weren’t exactly wrong, however, he was surprised to see another side of her. He felt sympathy for the way she put up a strong front while she cried in secret. He heard her talking to herself while trying to hold back her tears. If the people had seen this side of her, they would think she is not the emperor’s beloved empress. 

But to him, she was incredible. He had thought that beneath her strong appearance was a vulnerable figure, but he realised that soon enough that it was false.

The feeling of curiosity and attraction turned into anxiety after actually meeting her. Why did she ignore him when he tried to make himself known? Why did she pretend not to know him? Why wasn’t she trying to look for him? Why didn't she stop Lumine when she was impersonating her? Were the comforts of the letters, the jokes that they had been shared, simply a one-sided feeling? Or perhaps it would hurt her pride if someone were to take care of her.

But as Childe drew closer to her, he became even more angry. He didn’t like seeing the things that burdened her or caused her pain. He knew from experience that controlling one’s reputation was difficult, to the point that he had almost gotten in a fight about it in the past.

“Are you jealous of Lumine, by any chance?”

As the Empress’ jaw hardened at Scaramouche’s insult, Prince Childe was overcome with an even more violent impulse than in the dining room. The frozen empress was charming, but the things that made her that way were definitely not. He could hear Diluc’s voice in his head, repeatedly telling him to not cause an incident involving the Emperor of the Inazuma Empire. It irritated Childe so much that he could not officially stand up to defend the Empress' honour.

“Your Majesty the Emperor. You must be more discerning.”

Eventually, Childe spoke. He knew Diluc would be furious when he found out about this. Their king was bedridden so the court affairs were in chaos. Did he really want to antagonise the Emperor of the Inazuma Empire? Despite this, Childe couldn’t help but speak up.

“This doesn’t concern you, Prince Childe.”

“I’m a witness. How can I keep my nose out of this?”

Childe added a grin as he stood next to the Empress.

“Your Majesty, do not worry. I will be the one to spread rumours about the truth. Your reputation will not be tarnished by this mistake.”

Things could have gotten worse if it were not for Diluc, who came running to Prince Childe’s side and stole him away.

“I heard you say something about reputation. Are you changing course?”

Childe walked in silence to the southern palace as Diluc started to nag at him again.

“Do what you usually do, Prince. Don’t fight from the front, fight from behind instead. Why were you trying to start a fight with someone and with the Inazuma Emperor no less? That could have potentially broke our political affairs with the Inazuma Empire? At this rate, us spying on the Inazuma Empire will be exposed soon enough.”

Diluc’s nagging got worse as soon as he closed the door, yet Childe ignored him and pulled up a chair.

“What are you going to do with the chair? Are you going to hit me?”

“Sit down.”

As Diluc sat down, Childe touched his head and forced some of his delusion into him. With a cry, Diluc had turned into a red bird and the clothes he had worn, tumbled to the ground. Diluc’s eyes widened in confusion when he saw Prince Childe taking out a piece of letter from his desk and tied it to his leg.

 -?

“Deliver this to Ayato.”

– …

“I won’t get myself in trouble, so go and deliver it. I’ll fight from behind, just as you said.” 

.

.

.

“Prince Childe seems to be a completely different person than the rumours suggest.”

Countess Jean, who was playing chess nearby, turned her head at my faintly spoken words.

“Hm? What did you say, Your Highness?”

I turned my book upside down and placed it on my lap. Could I tell them this? Would it sound strange?

My ladies-in-waiting knew I was the real letter friend, and so there was no need for me to say anything more. However, I thought it would be helpful if I could change any of the rumours about Prince Childe with my own words…

“Prince Childe. He seems better than I thought.”

I spoke nonchalantly as I picked up my teacup from the table and took a sip. Yoimiya, who was playing opposite of Countess Jean, surreptitiously changed a horse’s position while the Countess was not looking.

“Right. And he knew that the maid and the slave didn’t write those letters! Ah—that was wrong. Anyway, he found out quickly. Even though he’s a womaniser, he’s more faithful than other nobles.”

Countess Jean had slapped Yoimiya on the back of her hand and restored the horse’s original position on the board.

“Yoimiya is right. Though he may seem like a carefree person, he’s not frivolous.”

A lady-in-waiting sitting comfortably on an armchair gave a vindictive laugh.

“Even more so, I liked it when the slave’s lie came to light.”

Other comments from the other ladies-in-waiting started to spring up as well.

“Did you see how his blood pressure went up when she lied to him so shamelessly?” 

“The foreign nobles who mingle with her must have come to their senses by now.” 

However, Beidou, who was silently standing by the door until now had immediately thrown cold water into the situation.

“I don’t believe so.” 

At Beidou’s certain tone, the ladies-in-waiting all turned to her with questioning expressions. The knight nervously scratched her cheek, as if overwhelmed by the beautiful ladies looking at her all at once.

“Baron Thoma is responsible for Miss Lumine’s affairs, and the way he talks about her is…different.”

“Different? How so?”

Yoimiya's eyes were wide as she questioned her. In curiosity, I had set the now empty cup back on the table and had also turned to look at Beidou .

I knew Baron Thoma—he was Scarmouche’s personal secretary, and quite a brilliant man. Moreover, if he was extremely fond of Lumine, it would only be beneficial for her when Baron Thoma comes forward and turns the rumours around.

“Because of Miss Lumine’s beauty and charm, some say that the Emperor and Prince Childe are fighting over her.”

When two conflicting rumours spread, there would at least cause a commotion between people who believed one story or the other. Baron Thoma had definitely planned this out carefully.

Yoimiya shut the chessboard in frustration.

“I absolutely despise her!”

“Watch your mouth, Yoimiya. You are now a lady-in-waiting of the Empress, and offensive language will only hurt Her Majesty’s image.”

“I am careful with my words in front of others, Countess Jean. Yet still…I have no other way to express my emotions!”

Then, as Yoimiya cried out her frustration, there was a tap on the window.

“Queen!”

It had been several days since he came here last, and I quickly got up and opened the window to let him in. I was so happy to see him after such a long time that I held him tightly.

– !

Queen tried to embrace me with his wings, and Yoimiya had finally calmed down and gave a giggle.

“That bird is so sweet. Look at how he holds Her Majesty. Maybe he’s actually not a bird.”

– !

I scolded the ladies for teasing Queen, then I gently placed him on my lap and stroked his head.

Queen's large purple eyes closed as he started to doze off, but he occasionally got startled and looked at me.

“I missed you.”

I confessed my feelings frankly to him, and he peered at me as if he understood me.

“…”

Strange. Why did this bird remind me of Prince Childe? Well, perhaps it was because Prince Childe was the bird’s owner.

“Ah.”

I almost forgot to check the note on his leg. I took the piece of paper from his leg, and opened it while setting Queen aside .

– I had wagered my identity. Why didn't you want to participate in the bet? 

Did Prince Childe know that I was the letter acquaintance or not? A few hours ago, I told myself that the writer was Prince Childe, but I didn’t even have the time to ask him because Scaramouche and I immediately fought…

I hesitated before writing my response.

– Please keep our friendship by letter only. 

Queen watched me patiently as I wrote. As soon as I lifted my hand from the paper, he checked the contents, then made strange noises and started jumping up and down.

– Gu! Gu! Gu!

He seemed to be criticising me on behalf of his owner.

“Don’t be so upset, Queen. I prefer it this way.”

– Gu!

“If your master and I meet each other, we will be the Inazuma Empress and the Snezhnaya Prince, not as friends that are able to speak casually to each other. We would have to be careful about how we behave with each other in front of other people.”

– …

“I have become a source of entertainment because of Scaramouche and Lumine. Under these circumstances, the rumours will worsen if it’s discovered that I’m exchanging letters with a womaniser.”

Maybe it was because Queen had seemed so intelligent, but before I knew it, I was confessing my true feelings.

Queen’s beak opened as if in surprise. I closed his beak shut and hurriedly added an explanation.

“I know your master is not as bad as the rumours say. I think he’s a good person, in fact. Hm? Ha ha, why are you embarrassed?”

.

.

.

Lumine laid down on the bed in a thin lavender nightgown, hugging a cushion. Lying next to her was Scaramouche, who was running his fingers through her soft blonde hair.

“Prince Childe is known for his cruelty and for being a womaniser. Don’t trust people so blindly from now on.”

 “Lumine didn’t know…”

“It’s alright. Anyone can make mistakes. Just don’t make that same mistake in the future.”

“But this isn’t Lumine’s fault, right?”

“Of course. It was that man who had caused a disturbance.”

Lumine leaned her head against Scaramouche’s shoulder.

“But I’m glad His Majesty protected Lumine.”

“I’m glad too. I hope you’re feeling better.”

“Tomorrow is the special banquet! Let’s just relax and socialise with people! I want to be friends with Princess Amber.”

Lumine smiled and patted the cushion like a drum. Scaramouche, who normally would have smiled at her adoorable behaviour, was suddenly as stiff as a stone.

“What’s wrong, Your Majesty?”

“You…”

“Your Majesty?”

“Lumine, you won’t be able to attend the special banquet tomorrow.”

Lumine stared at Scaramouche with wide eyes. He felt sheepish after giving her the unexpected news, except that was not the way it should be.

“What? Why not, Your Majesty?”

“There can only be twenty special guests.”

“Can’t I be one of them?”

“The Empress and I had invited ten people each, and we’ve already sent out the invitations…”

“You can be flexible and add one more…”

“But Lumine , the moment we are flexible, the special banquet becomes less special.”

Lumine made a shocked, unblinking expression at his refusal, and Scaramouche felt forced to explain.

“As I said, it’s only for those invited. I don’t know why you would think it would suddenly change.”

“Lumine is your concubine. Your lady. Lumine thought she could go without being invited…You should have invited her too.”

Lumine’s face was red as she whimpered.

“Oh goodness, Lumine.”

Scaramouche took out a handkerchief and patted away the tears that had sprung up in her eyes. But the tears gathered again, and the handkerchief was useless.

“Do you really wish to go?”

“I told everyone at the dinner that I would go to the special banquet.” 

“…”

Scaramouche frowned.

“You should’ve asked me.”

“It’s strange to ask. Besides, His Majesty took Lumine to dinner with the special guests, so of course Lumine thought…”

“It’s my fault.”

Scaramouche sighed and rubbed Lumine's shoulder, but she kept crying, waiting for Scaramouche to change his words. However, no matter how long she waited, it did not happen.

“So in the end, you’re not taking me.”

Lumine wept like a child, and Scaramouche clenched his jaw at the innocence of it. Having only seen the court nobles cry silently, he was amazed whenever Lumine expressed her true feelings honestly.

“I’m sorry, Lumine. Don’t cry.”

“You saw what happened today. If Lumine doesn’t go, Prince Childe will say something to the guests. He said he was going to spread rumours.”

Lumine had a point, and Scaramouche sighed again. However, many of the guests consisted of foreign royal family members and powerful nobles, and were considered the most important people of the year. To set aside an important guest to allow a concubine could cause an international problem.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there. I won’t let Prince Childe say anything strange.”

Lumine’s expression was still morose. After stewing on the subject, Scaramouche finally let out a sigh.

“I will ask the Empress if she can spare a seat. Some of the guests are subjects of this country, so we won’t have to worry about an international problem.” 

.

.

.

The morning sun shone through the thin curtains, casting shadows on the floor in the shape of the window frames.

I yawned and raised myself from the bed. My heart wasn’t heavy despite the incident from yesterday. Perhaps it was because of Prince Childe and Queen…

I patted my face to wake myself up, then went to the bathroom to wash my face. Behind me, my ladies-in-waiting prepared the bathtub with petals and salts. My clothes were removed and I sank into the warm water, allowing my muscles to relax. I closed my eyes and leaned against the bathtub as the ladies-in-waiting massaged my head with careful hands. 

After the bath, I put on a robe and went into the bedroom. As it was the last day of the New Year’s celebration and the day of the special banquet, the dress selected for me was extravagant, but not overly so, and simultaneously captured a sense of calm and elegance.

After getting dressed, I placed on my diamond earrings and crown. The crown wasn’t made for ceremonial purposes, and wasn’t too large and heavy. I looked over my notes on the special guests while the ladies styled my hair to match the crown.

However, before they could finish, one of Scaramouche’s secretaries arrived. As I was already dressed, I allowed him in, and the secretary had conveyed Scaramouche’s words with great embarrassment.

“Your Majesty, the Emperor would like a word with you.”

“Now?” 

“Yes, it’s about the special banquet, so please come quickly—”

It had to be urgent if it was about the special banquet. I nodded and ordered the ladies to quickly finish my hair.

“We’ll put it back together when you get back.”

“Is that alright? I don’t want to bother you twice.”

“It’s fine.”

“Then you may have your breakfast first while I’m gone.”

Various scenarios about the guests ran through my head when I had followed Scaramouche’s secretary to the eastern palace. Did someone suddenly declare war on our Empire? Have one of the foreign guests complained about the country or did one of them offend us? Has anyone suddenly announced their absence?

“What’s going on?” 

I immediately questioned Scaramouche as soon as I entered his room. Lumine was sitting on the bed, but I pretended not to know her. However, I did notice her staring at me—no, staring at the crown on my head, to be more exact.

I frowned in discomfort, but Lumine continued to stare with a bewitched expression and did not look away. Scaramouche was the first to speak.

“Can you make room for one more person?”

“Is something wrong? Are there any reports that Secretary Sucrose or the Chief Magician Albedo are able to attend?”

The secretary and the chief magician were those who originally had reservations. They were invited by Scaramouche, but they did not attend the New Year’s ceremony because they had declined as they were both busy.

“No, it’s not them.”

“Then…?”

Who on earth were we supposed to set up a seat for? I studied Scaramouche closely, who seemed caught in an awkward silence.

“I want to take Lumine with me…”

“…”

“Can you do that?”

“…”

“Empress? Why won’t you talk to me?”

I was going to apologise, but quickly shoved it down my throat as I felt it was not something I should be apologising for nor was it my fault.

“No, Your Majesty.”

Scaramouche’s brow furrowed at my flat refusal.

“One seat is fine. There is surely one or two people the Empress can ask.”

“It’s possible to ask for consent if they agree. But if Secretary Sucrose or the Chief Magician Albedo came, they would be offended by the sudden cancellation of the invitation…for your concubine.”

Scaramouche’s expression turned even colder.

“I have an idea on what your words mean, Empress.”

“The answer would have been the same if it had been my lover, or even if it had been another concubine that was not Lumine.”

“Then why don’t we exclude people such as Duchess Ningguang?”

“Unlike you, I do not wish to hurt the people I cherish, Your Majesty.”

“!”

I could tell that Scaramouche believed that I was a heartless person. It was clear as day by the lines between his brows were more obvious than usual, and the narrowing of his eyes.

“The empress is cold.”

“As I should be.”

“What?”

An international embarrassment could happen if Scaramouche disregarded his guests, and the blame would fall to him. But if I set aside a guest for Lumine, I would be blamed for doing something as simple as this to impress both Lumine and Scaramouche. A similar rumour had already spread after Scaramouche gave Lumine gifts under my name. While that incident was disgraceful on a personal level, disrespecting guests would directly be judged by society.

But Scaramouche’s behaviour wasn’t a mistake. Even at this moment, he was smart. He was forcing me to act this way to protect himself and soothe Lumine’s heart.

“I’m not intentionally being cruel. Lumine is your concubine, not mine. I don’t know why you’re trying to force me to do things even you, the Emperor, cannot do.”

I was too angry to explain it further to him, so I deliberately turned away. Scaramouche’s jaw was clenched and Lumine glanced at me with a frightened look, but I wasn’t feeling any better at all. I gave my farewell as etiquette as I could, and then left the room with a stately walk. 

.

.

.

When I arrived at the western palace, I found the ladies anxiously waiting for me.

“You should have eaten without me.”

“How could we? We wondered if something terrible happened again.”

“You don’t look good whenever you see the Emperor these days.”

After calming them down, we ate breakfast together, but after that meeting with Scaramouche, all my appetite has vanished. However, I managed to slightly fill my stomach with some soup and pudding. 

Afterwards, the ladies-in-waiting went to prepare themselves for the party, so I sat alone at my desk to check the schedule after the New Year’s celebrations. Firstly, I had to see off the foreign guests, as well as accommodate those that wished to stay longer. I had to also handle any reports of incidents thoroughly such as if any foreigner had a legal problem, it had to be settled before they crossed the border.

The day had passed quickly, and it was time for the feast. I took another look of myself in the mirror, and also saw that each of my ladies-in-waiting were splendidly dressed as well.

“Will you come to the party after the special banquet?”

“I don’t know. I have to check the time…what’s wrong, Yoimiya?”

“Ayaka—no, Lady Ayaka is ill and cannot go to the party. If neither you nor her come, I’ll just show my face and leave quickly.”

Yoimiya, who preferred to mingle with her peers, did not seem very interested in socialising with the other noblewomen.

“I’ll be there if you wait for me, Yoimiya.”

I gave her my promise, and Yoimiya smiled with excitement and quickly went to the grand hall for the party. The other ladies-in-waiting also followed suit, while I went to the Red Rose room for the special banquet.

Lively music filled the air, and the special guests were gathered together in groups of three or four. I walked towards Princess Amber, with a casual nod to everyone else, when I came across Grand Duke Dainsleif first, who was holding a champagne glass. A large statue holding a flower basket and sword and a servant carrying champagne bottles stood symmetrically on either side of him, leaving no other way to pass.

“Are you enjoying yourself?”

A nod wouldn’t suffice as he was right in front of me, so I smiled and spoke to him. Before I bowed in greeting, it occurred to me that he ignored both me and Lumine yesterday.

“…Your Majesty.”

Fortunately, Grand Duke Dainsleif did not turn a blind eye to me this time. He didn’t answer my question, however.

“Does the food suit your taste?”

I gave him a small bow for the second time without realising it. Instead of answering me, he stared at me again. His long, sharp eyes were something fierce.

This was Grand Duke Dainsleif’s first invitation to the banquet, and I had never interacted with this man until last year. I had little knowledge of his character. All I knew was that he was a grand duke from a desert country, and had graduated first from a magical academy.

As I waited for his reply, Dainsleif asked me his own question out of nowhere.

“Is this the state of the Eastern Empire?”

“What do you mean?”

“In Khaenri'ah, the King’s and Queen’s emotions are one. ”

“The king and queen as one… That’s amazing.”

” …You know what it means?”

“Not enough to say I’m fluent. Only a few basic words.”

When I lifted my eyebrows, he opened his eyes in surprise and continued.

“If the King’s lover is in front of her, she would be killed immediately.”

“!”

“Are you not able to do that, Your Majesty?”

“I’m afraid that in this great empire I cannot kill a person for no reason, even if I am an empress. A trial must be held first.”

“Foolish that you cannot eat soup out of your own bowl.”

Was he saying that I didn’t have proper control of the Lumine yesterday? However, just as there were the laws in the country of Khaenri'ah, there were the laws of the Inazuma Empire. In my country, concubines were legally approved. And if an empress ever killed an emperor’s mistress? There was the strong possibility of the empress being thrown into prison.

Then what did that leave me? My whole future I had prepared for my whole life, thrown away just for a little excitement? Would I bet my life just to kill a runaway slave that stole my husband? Before giving an answer, however, Grand Duke Dainsleif left with his glass of champagne.

I gave a relieved sigh. He probably thought of me as pathetic.

‘How strange. It was Scaramouche that made Lumine a concubine, so why am I the pathetic woman?’

Unfortunately, Princess Amber seemed to have moved elsewhere in the room. I shook my head and looked around to find another person, when my gaze landed on Duchess Ningguang.

“Queen.”

There was a low voice from behind me. As soon as I turned my head, I found Prince Childe right before me.

“How are you—”

Before I could ask him how he was, he spoke again.

“I’d like to talk to you for a moment.” 

.

.

.

Prince Childe’s expression was a mix of both serious and sad. He didn’t have his usual smile or proud bearing. I motioned for him to speak, remembering that he had helped me.

“It’s alright.” 

Prince Childe picked up two champagne glasses from a passing servant, and with his eyes pointed towards a spot where the music was loudest and would cover our conversation. The open area left no room for the other guests to misunderstand, even if I was with the much-gossiped-about Prince Childe. He was a surprisingly thoughtful man…

As I admired him, Prince Childe extended to me a glass of champagne, which I accepted. He didn’t drink his, however, and simply fiddled with his glass, while I still stood and waited for him to speak. Finally, he carefully opened his mouth.

“I had read your message, Your Majesty. You want to keep our friendship only by letter.”

“You know that it’s me?”

All I had said yesterday was that I knew it was not Lumine. How did he know it was me? When I looked up at him, Prince Childe hurriedly waved his hand and gave an awkward smile.

“Don’t be alarmed. You did not make a mistake.”

“Then …?”

“Both Lady Lumine and her maid knew the contents of the early letters, but not the later ones. So I had thought about it. I found out that a lady-in-waiting named Viscountess Mona had recently transferred from the Empress to Lady Lumine.”

So that’s how he figured it out…

But I was still surprised. Rumours had it that Prince Childe was a womaniser, a cruel man, a person who kept bad company. I had never heard a rumour that he was exceedingly intelligent, and I smiled a little.

But the prince still looked forlorn, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was disappointed that I was the letter acquaintance, even though I’d rather not have it revealed in the beginning. It would be less embarrassing for the both of us to ignore it. So why was his face so stiff?

“Are you alright? You don’t look very happy.”

Prince Childe sighed as he stared at me.

“How can I be happy? I imagined us as good friends, but you want to pretend not to know me in real life?”

Was that really as coldhearted as it sounds? I would have thought he was exaggerating, but the way he looked so forlorn made me swallow my protest. He downed his champagne glass in one smooth motion.

“In fact, I don’t have many friends to share my thoughts with.”

Prince Childe set his empty glass down on the statue pedestal and continued, his voice thick.

“I know. It’s unexpected, isn’t it? Am I popular? Yes. I have many friends. I always have people around me, so you may think I am not lonely.”

“?”

“But that is only what you see. In fact, I’m very lonely. It’s not that I hate my friends—I have many good ones. However, as the prince of the Snezhnaya, I cannot honestly share my thoughts, and always have to be conscious of others.”

“!”

I looked at him in surprise. Those were almost my exact same thoughts. It was as if—as if Queen listened to me and delivered those words straight to Prince Childe.

“It’s not a problem about the people, but my own, so there’s no way to improve it…”

I stared steadily at Prince Childe, as I realised I wasn’t the only one with those thoughts. I had always believed Prince Childe behaved without regard to what other people thought of him, but it was all an act too…

“I loved being able to talk to someone without them thinking of me as ‘Prince Childe or ‘Crown Prince.’ Our conversations weren’t long, but I was happy to have someone exchange lighthearted letters to.”

“…”

I felt just the same. I became a princess when I was young, and this was the first time since with my family that I felt I could open up my heart. Not because there weren’t good people, but because “a good person” and “a person I can reveal my innermost thoughts to” were not the same.

“I’ve always looked forward to those letters. Honestly, I was even happier when I knew that my letter acquaintance was you, Your Majesty. And I had thought you would feel the same but instead you seemed reluctant and inconvenienced.”

Prince Childe sighed, his eyes becoming moist. As I faced those eyes, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. I sympathised with everything he said, and felt further shame.

“We had the same thoughts, but different conclusions.”

Prince Childe looked at me with those wet eyes and sighed again, his mysterious violet irises glistening like jewels under the chandelier’s light. There almost seemed to be resentment in his expression. I could either be his friend, or I could end it like this.

“I understand what you feel, Prince Childe.”

“But you still only want to exchange letters?”

“I enjoyed them.”

“Outside of letters, it will be even more enjoyable.”

“…”

“You can just tell me that Scaramouche is a bitch.”

“Keup!”

I choked when Prince Childe tossed all dignity out of the window. Everyone stared at me as I coughed, and Prince Childe lowered his voice once again and whispered, “Scaramouche is a bitch.”

What kind of person…

Prince Childe raised his eyebrows and gave a silly grin.

“There is nothing more funny than watching someone suppress a laugh. Just laugh if you want to. ”

“…”

“If you don’t laugh, your heart will ache.”

Ache? Did he have experience in this?

His smile faded, as did his voice. For a moment, Prince Childe stared at the floor, his forehead furrowed in thought.

“Then, can you do something for me? I’ll keep it a secret you, my Queen, are my letter partner. And I’ll also keep it a secret that we are friends.”

“Are we friends?”

“Don’t you know that we’re friends, Queen?”

He gave a strange smile, then he pressed his lips together and continued.

“Instead, it can be like now. If we meet by chance, please don’t ignore me. And if the two of us happen to be alone, don’t avoid me.”

His voice was playful and the smile around his mouth looked light, but his gaze was serious. It sounded like a joke, but I knew it wasn’t.

He gazed at me with those earnest eyes, and I felt a strange sensation of my heart being squeezed lightly with fingernails.

.

.

.

‘They must be talking about me…’

Lumine stared anxiously at the doorway, where inside was the special banquet. It should go smoothly with Scaramouche there, but she was still apprehensive.

Would Prince Childe say anything strange to anyone? The Empress seemed unlikely to spread rumours, but Lumine couldn’t say the same about Prince Childe. Lumine bit her lip and sighed again.

“You look blue today. Are you feeling well?”

Baron Thoma appeared by her side and smiled at her teasingly.

“In truth, I’m not.”

“You’re very honest.”

Lumine smiled and nodded. After Scaramouche, Baron Thoma was her favourite person in the palace. He did not prejudiced her, and when rumours of her and Prince Childe had spread, she had heard that Baron Thoma stepped up to defend her honour. Lumine couldn’t help but like the older man.

“Rest assured, no matter how unruly Prince Childe is, he has no choice but to yield to our Emperor. Although the Snezhnaya Kingdom has been growing in power, it still cannot eclipse the Inazuma Empire.”

“Yes…”

“I will do whatever I can to protect Lady Lumine’s honour, so go enjoy the last day of the celebrations.”

Lumine nodded, and her mood lifted as she smiled. Those who did not scorn her gathered around her in ones or twos, and before long she was surrounded by people who were close to her or who wanted to be close to her. She preened at their attention, and whether because they were being thoughtful or not, no one asked her why she did not go to the special banquet. Lumine sipped wine that was surely five times older than herself, and happily accepted the praise that the nobles lavished on her.

“The contrast between your silver hair and your dark eyes is so enviable.”

“It gives off the feeling of purity, like a lily-of-the-valley.”

“Duchess Ningguang might need to defend her current reputation.”

Duchess Ningguang wasn’t present, as she was likely attending the special banquet, so today, more and more people approached Lumine instead.

‘Today, I am the butterfly of the social circles.’

Lumine was feeling pleasantly tipsy. Even before she became the emperor’s concubine, she knew beauty could be a poison. It was only after much trial did she learn how to use her own beauty as a weapon, but even then she found herself walking a precarious tightrope, always in danger.

But it was different here. Everyone praised her and loved her. Her protector was the most powerful man on earth, and no one could lay a hand on her.

“But didn’t you say you were going to the special banquet? Why are you here now?”

However, it was only less than half an hour later that someone brought up an uncomfortable question.

Lumine stared at the woman who spoke. She was not a memorable aristocrat, and did not have large possessions or had duties important in the Imperial Palace. This was the first time this particular noblewoman mingled with them. The other nobles turned silent at the question, but despite their curiosity, they did not speak up.

“It’s…”

Lumine quickly arranged her thoughts and made up a story.

“It’s because Lumine said it was alright.”

“Oh, Miss Lumine?”

“Important foreign guests usually go to the banquet. Rather than having Lumine attend, she thought it would be better to have someone who would benefit our country. ”

The nobles were delighted over her answer.

“Miss Lumine is so smart for a concubine.”

“Indeed. Many of the previous concubines only spent money and idled away, and held no interest in international affairs at all. Miss Lumine is certainly different from them.”

Lumine smiled shyly and lowered her eyes. Their admiration was as intoxicating as a drug.

“Lumine should help His Majesty.”

Lumine murmured that she wanted another drink, and a number of noblemen quickly offered her a variety of wine glasses. Lumine chose a flute with a light purple liquor, and the face of the young man she had accepted the drink from lit up.

Suddenly, Lumine caught a glimpse of someone over the young man’s shoulders. Someone who should not have been there.

The flute slipped from her hand, and the glass shattered on the floor.

“Miss Lumine, are you all right?”

“What happened?”

Lumine was unable to answer, and quickly jerked her head. But the one who surprised her was not there anymore.

‘Did I see it wrong?’

Lumine forced her heart to calm. Perhaps it was the effects of the alcohol.

‘I drank too much.’

While the servants placed the broken glass on a tray and wiped the liquor off the floor, Lumine repeatedly glanced back to where she had seen the man.

“What’s wrong, Miss Lumine?”

Baron Thoma noticed her strange behaviour and turned towards where she was looking, and she quickly caught the hem of his robe to stop him.

 “Baron Thoma. I have a question.”

“?”

“For the New Year’s celebrations, if a nobleman doesn’t come on the first day…can they come on the last day?”

“Of course. Some may not be able to come to the festivities immediately.”

Lumine lowered her voice.

“Do rural aristocrats come to the New Year’s celebrations? Rural aristocrats with small estates? Do you not help choose the guests?”

“Yes, I help choose them. And even the nobility of a small estate can be invited.”

“Even if they haven’t attended for years?”

“Even if they haven’t attended for a long time, we still send invitations for that reason. We don’t leave them completely alone.”

Lumine’s lips started to quiver, and Baron Thoma’s expression darkened.

“Miss Lumine, what happened?”

Lumine shook her head, then took in her surroundings again and pushed her glass towards him.

“L-Lumine’s going inside. I think I’m drunk.”

She answered unsteadily and waved her hand to get out of the crowd. There was nothing to worry about if she made a drunken mistake, but if not—it would be dangerous.

That man…Viscount Lawrence. The lord of the estate where she was a slave. He knew Lumine’s face.

As she was leaving, a loud voice behind Lumine proclaimed, “What? Am I seeing right?”

Goose flesh erupted on Lumine’s back. Her face paled, and her eyes darkened in fear.

Lumine was reeling, and Baron Thoma hastened towards her.

“Miss Lumine?”

Baron Thoma called out to her anxiously, but she didn’t answer.

 “‘Miss’ Lumine?”

The loud voice grew closer, dripping in mockery.

“What is this now? Have you changed your identity?”

The surroundings became deathly silent.

“The world is getting better isn't it? A runaway slave gets treated like a lady now? Hm?”

.

.

.

“So you stopped looking for your letter friend?”

“Yes. If they haven’t revealed themselves by now, then they never will.”

“But you wanted it badly enough to go public…”

“I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable because of me.”

Prince Childe kept his promise. I awkwardly cut a piece of cake across the table where he was talking to a noblewoman. From time to time he looked at me, and I just smiled and nodded, hoping it wouldn’t seem odd.

‘He’s a good man…’

Scaramouche would have cut off Prince Childe if he said anything strange, but the prince said nary a word about Lumine at all.

The conversation went from Prince Childe’s letters to Grand Duke Dainsleif’s Kingdom, his magic, and how it worked in war. The grand duke offered only a few words, and did not speak about magic though he had graduated from a magical academy. He was equally silent on other topics, but my attention turned towards the door when it opened and someone came in. It was the captain of the guard.

‘What’s going on?’

Our eyes met, and he bowed towards me. Scaramouche still hadn’t noticed him, as his eyes were on Prince Childe.

“Your Majesty the Emperor.”

The moment Scaramouche turned his head, the knight delivered his message.

“You need to come to the grand hall.”

His tone sounded serious. There were only twenty people in the room, so everyone could hear what he said. All the guests’ eyes and attention were on him.

“Why is that?”

The captain seemed reluctant to answer in present company, but Scaramouche picked up on it and went outside with the knight.

‘What’s going on?’

I considered following them, but decided against it. If I was needed, then the knight would have spoken to me as well, and I wouldn’t be required if it had to do with Lumine or anything like that.

‘I don’t need to leave.’

I made up my mind and turned towards the guests again. When the time came, I left the Red Rose room and went to the grand banquet hall. I had to check on the other guests as well, and when the sun went down I had to inspect the fireworks.

‘I also made a promise to meet with Yoimiya.’

However, the atmosphere at the grand banquet hall was livelier than I expected.

‘Did something happen?’

People are usually tired out during the last day of the celebration. However, everyone would dress up for the last day, yet the energy was usually not the same as the first. From the entrance, I saw people talking and laughing, and the noise grew louder as I went in. I looked around confusedly, and Yoimiya ran over to me.

“Your Majesty, Her Majesty, did you hear?”

“Did something interesting happen? I’ve been in the Red Rose room, so I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Something very interesting happened.”

Yoimiya said in excitement, and she moved me to a suitable place for conversation. Nearby, there was a spread of crispy fried seafood, small dishes of pumpkin puddings, and milky coffee.

“You can listen while you eat. It’s an appetising story!”

“What happened?”

Yoimiya pushed a mango pudding and a fork towards me.

“Thank you, Yoimiya.”

“Do you remember Lumine?”

It was not a topic I was fond of. I grimaced slightly, but Yoimiya continued, despite knowing that I didn’t like talking about her.

“Do you remember the rumour that she was a runaway slave?”

“Yes, but are we not allowed to speak of it?”

Scaramouche had said he would punish those that did. Could they speak about this in a crowded place? I was worried, but Yoimiya shouted out before I could stop her.

“She really is an escaped slave! Viscount Lawrence arrived at the party for the first time, and he recognised Lumine!”

“Viscount Lawrence?”

“She was his slave, then she ran away!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. If the Emperor was here he would’ve stopped him. Not only that, the viscount had only been in the capital for a few hours so he didn’t know about the rumours about Lumine or the order not to talk about her. That’s why he openly said Lumine was a slave in public!”

“Ah…”

“Lumine said she was not, but everyone believed him. She looked mortified.”

Yoimiya snorted.

“All the nobles who came up to Lumine must have seen it now.”

“And where are they now?”

“When Lumine fainted, Baron Thoma carried her to her bedroom. Then the captain of the royal guard came and took Viscount Lawrence.”

So that was why the captain was looking for Scaramouche. For a moment, some foreign feeling welled up inside me. Was it…vindication? Yes. It must be. Scaramouche was furious when he suspected I spread false rumours about Lumine as a runaway slave. The resentment and sorrow I felt now turned to satisfaction.

However, there was a small corner in my heart that didn’t feel thrilled. What is this uncomfortable feeling?

“…”

I couldn’t figure it out so I decided to leave it be for now.

Now that I think about it, did Scaramouche not realized Lumine was a runaway slave when he had rescued her? Although, even if he did know, I doubt Scaramouche would hate her. After all, he had brought her here because she was pitiful and that he had a powerful desire to protect her. Whether he fell in love with her then or not, it was their first meeting. And whether Lumine was a commoner or a fugitive slave, Scaramouche would still love her. He would try to protect Lumine from mockery of others.

I didn’t know what would happen nor what is happening, but I did know that whatever it was, I did not want to get involved. 

.

.

.

As usual, it was useless trying to avoid getting entangled with Lumine. Each time, it was either her or Scaramouche that got me involved with them, it was as if they were taking turns to do that to me. However, this time, it was Scaramouche. 

As some of the foreign guests would return to their countries and the rest would stay longer at the southern palace. I returned to the western palace, leaving behind those who wanted to stay up for the drinking and revelry. I wanted to take a warm bath to relieve my fatigue of the day. My ladies-in-waiting also seemed exhausted, so instead of having them follow me, I sent them away to take their rest.

However, before I could even finish drawing the bathwater, Scaramouche’s captain of the guard came to see me. I had a sinking feeling the moment I saw him. For nearly a month, all the times Scaramouche summoned me out of the blue had been unpleasant encounters.

What on earth did he want this time? My mood dropped the more I walked through the long corridors, but I managed to control my expression. I hoped I could maintain it in front of my husband…

Finally, I entered Scaramouche’s bedroom in the eastern palace. Scaramouche was seated on a chair by the bed, and I also noticed that Lumine was on the bed with a towel on her forehead. I turned back to Scaramouche again, who had his eyes fixed on me.

“…I’ll take my leave now.”

The captain closed the door, and the atmosphere became even more oppressive. Scaramouche slowly opened his mouth to speak.

“Do you have anything to say to me?”

His voice was cold.

“Why exactly did you call me here?”

I spoke to him just as bluntly.

“Is that the only thing you can say right now?”

“That’s what I’m most curious about now.”

“You don't even blink at this situation.”

The first thought that came to mind was, ‘I must be doing a good job of controlling my facial expression,’ and the corners of my mouth must have tipped upwards as Scaramouche seemed even more offended.

“Are you happy that everyone thinks Lumine’s a runaway slave?”

“Are you going to take your anger out on me?”

 “Empress.”

“I heard about Miss Lumine at the grand hall. I know you’re upset, but don’t take it out on me.”

“Did you think I called you to vent?”

“Am I wrong?”

“No.”

“Then why did you call me in the first place?”

He did not call me to be angry at me, yet his remarks and tone at me says a lot. He probably assumed I was happy that Lumine was discovered to be a runaway slave.

Scaramouche silently watched Lumine’s sleeping form. The ticking of the clock echoed in the room. Only after some time passed did Scaramouche speak.

“Did you really want to prove that Lumine is a fugitive slave?”

“That story again?”

“The Empress was born with a silver spoon. She had a great aristocratic family, enormous wealth, great power, a beautiful mansion, and a natural wit and beauty. But in spite of that, she still wants to be on top of everyone, including the less fortunate.”

It wasn’t a compliment in this situation. I looked at Scaramouche with narrowed eyes, and he sighed.

“Yet Lumine had nothing. She became a slave and had no memory or her parents or family. No property, no power, no home. She is just like the Empress who is smart and beautiful, she just doesn’t have opportunities for her.”

“…”

“And then she met me, and she had been trying to get these by herself. The chance to be loved, to eat a warm meal, to relax on a comfortable bed, to learn something.”

She also took my husband, but I didn’t say this because my pride was injured. I wanted to ask if he wanted me to sympathise with Lumine, but the words were stuck in my throat. So I just stared at him without a word. I couldn’t understand why he was talking so much—was he asking me to take care of Lumine's problems because she was in trouble? 

“I don’t need you to understand Lumine. But you have the smallest compassion…can you give it?”

“Compassion?”

“The compassion the Empress shows here and there—for example, towards the orphanages, elderly homes, medical centres, shrines, scholarship centres. Why can't you spare that compassion for Lumine instead!”

Scaramouche exploded at me, but then he stopped himself and collapsed back into his chair. Lumine reached out with a groan, and he quickly took her hand. I noticed that she was wearing a shirt with wide sleeves that looked similar to the shirt I had given to Scaramouche for his birthday last year. I didn't want to admit it, but seeing Lumine wearing the shirt I had bought for Scaramouche and that my husband is treating his concubine better than his wife, made me clenched my fist.

“Lumine is your concubine, not mine, so you should take care of her. I’m not looking after her because she’s not my responsibility.”

“Who said you had to look after her? Ha. Don't make me laugh! I don’t want you to take care of her, so please leave her alone! And Don't even come close to her”

“Have I ever provoked her?”

“Yesterday in front of Prince Childe, when he insulted Lumine. Out of the two of them, Prince Childe and Lumine, you should have sided with Lumine if you don’t know who’s telling the truth! You should stand by your subjects!”

“As I said, I knew the truth, and sided with Prince Childe accordingly.”

“So you are saying Lumine lied?”

“It is you who believe in her innocence, not me. And everyone knew she lied so why bother defending her, Your Majesty?”

“Well, that was yesterday. How about today? Why were you trying to undermine her today?”

“You know I never spoke to Miss Lumine today.”

“You didn't. You didn't talk to Lumine herself, but you called Viscount Lawrence from behind her back.”

The air seemed to tense when he made the accusation. I knew it wasn't true, but he made it sound like it. I glared at Scaramouche.

“What are you trying to imply?”

“You wanted to prove that Lumine is a runaway slave, and so you brought Viscount Lawrence.”

“…I invited the viscount because of Miss Lumine?”

What kind of ridiculous assumption was this? I was dumbfounded as Scaramouche let out an exhale.

“Ever since I said that Lumine wasn’t an escaped slave, didn’t you want to prove me otherwise? Were you so offended by everyone loving her?”

“You’re speaking nonsense.”

I forced my voice to sound calm, but I felt ready to burst. Scaramouche stood straight up from his chair, his eyes flashing threateningly.

“Who knows the guest invitations better than the Empress? You must have been working hard. You even invited Viscount Lawrence.”

“Yes, I know the invitations very well because it is my job. However, I invited him weeks before Lumine even came to the palace.”

“He’s not an important guest, so why did you invite him to the celebrations?”

“As I said before…I’m not interested in every single thing concerning Miss Lumine. And you were confident that she was not a runaway slave. Under these circumstances, why would I not send an invitation to Viscount Lawrence? Adding on to that, how was I supposed to find out she was his slave?”

It was true, I didn’t even know that she was his slave. The only connection I knew was that Scaramouche had found her on the hunting grounds near Lawrence’s estate. Since then, I had never heard mention of it, and if Lumine was commoner, then Lawrence’s attendance was irrelevant. Yet somehow, Scaramouche thought I calculated Lumine was Lawrence’s slave? Me? I was dumbfounded. Does he think I'm not busy at all to find out about useless things?

“If you have any consideration—”

“You should take care of her yourself. You can’t expect me to look after her, even if I didn’t know she was Lawrence’s slave.”

“…You’re so heartless.  A woman who has been living in poverty her whole life now wants to stand straight, and you don’t want to see it? You don’t wish to be tarnished? The Empress is such a horrible woman.”

"Maybe this Empress is sick and tired of you blaming her for every bad thing that happens to Lumine." 

⠀𐔌 . ⋮ balsam flowers and plum blossoms .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

ʚ general! scaramocuche x fem, courtesan! reader ɞ

synopsis: having been forced to leave his clan temporarily, kunikuzushi assists the heir apparent of liyue in a upcoming border conflict. while there, like a balsam flower blooming in the early fall's frost, your rosy lips and dusty rouge eye make-up draws him in. in a game of go, the unbeatable inazuman tactician finally tastes defeat at your hands.

genres: romance, mild smut, slight angst.

rating: mature, 18+ (mdni).

content warnings: indirect mentions of war, implied smut, mentions of pleasure houses (but reader doesn't really partake), unclear timeskips.

reader specifications: reader is detailed to wear red eyeshadow and red lipstick, it's also noted that reader has long enough hair to pin back.reader is also called 'xiyue' but it is merely an alias.

word count: 2.79k

author's note: this fic is heavily inspired by fengxian and lakan from the apothecary diaries and reader's make-up and attire is based off of fengxian's ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

‎‧₊ ─ masterlist .ᐟ ༘

Scaramouche’s eyes linger on the letter sent from his mother, the current head of the Raiden clan and he’s too irritated to roll his eyes at her nagging. 

“Throwing me out to accomplish big feats for the glory of the clan,” He sarcastically snarls. “My ass.”

Shaking his head, he tosses the piece of parchment into the fireplace in his temporary office Xiao had provided him, opening the balcony doors before he gazes at Liyue’s bustling streets. 

“General Scaramouche,” Heizou Shikanoin remarks from the other side as the said man’s eyes flit over to his direction.

“Enter.”

“Blessings to the moon of the Inazuman empire,” Heizou murmurs the greeting addressed to the heir apparent of Inazuma.

Handing the general the documents, Scaramouche simply skims over its contents, removing the unimportant ones before waving his hand dismissively. 

Recalling a certain albino haired man, Heizou puts in, “Y’know, I heard of a courtesan that’s unbeaten in Go.”

He inwardly grins as he catches the glimmer of curiosity in Scaramouche’s dark blue eyes. 

“Unbeaten, huh?” Scaramouche simpers haughtily, placing the documents down, interest blooming within him.

“Where?”

“The Yuanfen House in the Red-Light District,” Scaramouche’s nose crinkles ever so slightly before he’s motioning Heizou to the door.

As they make their way to the aforementioned district beneath the starry night of Liyue, Scaramouche can’t help but question, “Who mentioned this to you?”

It's at his words does Heizou chuckle, “Who else besides Kazuha? He’s mentioned repeatedly about how you’re such a shut-in.” Scaramouche glares at his friend causing Heizou to burst out laughing.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

After speaking to the Yuanfen owner, Lihua, the detective motions Scaramouche to a table at the upper levels of the pleasure house.

“Who am I to meet?” It’s a simple and blunt question as he seats himself, his indigo eyes landing on the Go board placed on the table.

Heizou stands at the sidelines, a little ways away from his lord. “The Balsam Flower Maiden of the Yuanfen House, Xiyue is what the owner called her.” His answer is satisfactory as Scaramouche recalls the meaning of each character.

Joyous, rare. He shakes his head as he sets up his black Go stones, rolling them in his palm as he waits for his opponent.

Before long, he hears the rustle of silk fabrics and the soft chimes of metal and beaded hair pins but Scaramouche doesn’t bother looking up.

“You first.” He mutters absentmindedly, fingers tapping quietly against the table.

Scaramouches eyes move from the wide Yuanfen House doors exposing the people walking by to the Go board. He hears a soft hum and more people crowd around him and the courtesan.

It was bound to stir attention: the unbeaten courtesan of the Yuanfen House and the formidable Inazuman tactician and general exchangig calculated blows in a game of Go.

As the courtesan places her white Go stone on the board, a hint of a soft red hue catches his eyes.

Without skipping a beat, Scaramouche is quick to place his own stone, his twilight blue eyes latching on the courtesan’s red tinted nails.

She’s good. He muses, eyeing her abrupt and unexpected moves. But she’s a mere frog in a well.

Soon, he immerses himself in the match, finding himself entertained by her moves and playing style.

But that amusement is quickly shut down as his eyes assess the board. Murmurs from the audience fill his ears much to his annoyance.

I lost. Scaramouche thinks simply, but as he looks at the board further, he realizes he was corner masterfully, having utterly beaten him.

When was the last time I lost this badly? He questions, pursing his lips in mild indignation.

Letting out a quiet sigh, his indigo eyes finally look up and he meets beautiful e/c eyes that seem to sparkle.

With a rosy hue dusted on the outer corners of your eyes and red painted lips, Scaramouche finds himself frozen—captivated almost.

Eyes defiant, and like the smell of the balsam flower that surrounds you, your resinous eyes held a sweet gaze.

Swallowing thickly, Scaramouche composes himself as he gestures for another match of Go, not only captivated by your beauty but your way with the game as well.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Nights thereafter, Scaramouche always finds himself at the doors of the Yuanfen House, consistently buying all your time for the night, barring any man from seeing you.

He ignores Heizou’s smug grin and Kazuha’s faint smile, choosing your company over theirs, finding the silence between you comfortable and serene, the faint smell of balsam flowers sticking to you sweet and addicting.

Game after game, many nights since he’s first fought you in the game of Go, was he able to finally learn of your true name.

Y/n.

Scaramuche finds it pleasant and sweet, rolling off his tongue like honey easily compared to the name Lihua had bestowed upon you—Xiyue.

But as night bleeds into day and day into night, he gradually gets to know you as you do with him. Soon he learns of your past, how you were born in the pleasure house you now serve.

Regardless of such an odd environment to raise a child in, you muse how Lihua was kind enough to provide an education for you and allow you to retain your purity.

Scaramouche hums, placing his dark stone on the board before his eyes flit over to gaze at you.

Pools of indigo trace your face, studying how your long lashes flutter against the apples of your cheeks, eyes dusted with a red hue, lips tinted south rouge as the rosy plum blossom flower painted on your forehead seems to highlight your beauty even more.

As beautiful as a balsam flower. He finds the thought at the very forefront of his mind.

Your eyes flicker up, meeting his and he spares the board a glance before looking up at you once more, meeting your gaze.

Scaramouche finds himself breathless at the sight of you before him, at your beauty and your intelligence, having bested him once more in Go.

“Scara?” You hum softly and he revels in how your voice seems sweeter when calling for him.

Like a clockwork, his true name tumbles from his lips as his eyes trace your lips. “Kuni.”

“Hm?”

“Kunikuzushi is my real name.” He states simply before collecting your white stones and placing them in your bowl, collecting his soon after.

You smile endearingly as your cheeks redden subtley and he finds himself speechless, the words on his tongue suddenly dying. “Well then, shall we play another game of Go, Kuni?”

His heart aches at how sweetly you say his name and like the fumbling, lovesick fool he is, he nods silently, not trusting his words.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Despite the looming threat of the border conflict plaguing Xiao and Liyue, Scaramouche is quick to finish his paperwork, assigning Inazuman soldiers to the forefront of Liyue’s west border to help aid the young heir.

Yet regardless of the stress and tension between the higher-ups, Kunikuzushi keeps visiting you night after night, buying you for the entire night.

He feels a swell of pride as he catches your eyes twinkle brightly when you see him enter your chambers.

“Miss me?” Kunikuzushi teases, a smug grin on his face as you bite back a smile.

“Says the man who repeatedly buys me out night after night.” You retort as you eye the Go board he places on your table.

“Go? Aren’t you tired of me beating you?”

“Hah?” Kunikuzushi snaps, his words having no heat as all as he resists the urge to grin. “Just you watch, love.”

You smile shyly and his heart skips a beat. “Bring it on, Kuni.” You chime playfully as your fingers place your white stone on the board.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Coming from the Jade palace after discussing battle plans and preparations with Xiao, Kunikuzushi’s keen ears catch wind of your price hiking up steadily.

Choosing to brush off such things, he tosses the bag of mora on the counter before making his way to your chambers, his feet carrying him along the familiar path.

Entering, he sees you painting your nails with balsam flower paste. Your eyes catch his and he knows his own soften exponentially.

He’s unfamiliar and clumsy with such longing blooming in his chest and so, he turns to one of the few things he’s keenly familiar with.

“Go?”

You smile but he catches that it doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

As your game continues, Kunikuzushi eyes you softly and he’s beginning to understand that there’s something amiss simmering in your eyes.

He’s quick to place his stone after you had just done so, but your hand lingers, fingers caressing his before you’re lacing your hand with his. Kunikuzushi’s eyes quickly snap to yours and he’s taken off guard with the raw emotions swirling through them.

Swallowing thickly, he tugs you towards him, his lips descending on yours—sweet and desperate—as your fingers tangle themselves in his midnight blue locks.

Kunikuzushi quickly loses himself in your lips, your touch, your taste as he finds himself addicted, yearning for more. Your hands tug at his clothes as his own slide your silken garments off your shoulders, his hands easily plucking out your hair pins before they wander all over your body, squeezing gently.

Pulling away for air, you pant hotly against his lips. And before he knows it, his hand cups the nape of your neck, bringing your lips against his once more.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Kunikuzushi kisses your lips, pulling back as he gazes at you, his heart clenching at the sad, glossy look in your eyes.

He hovers over you, yet with his hands interlaced pinning your own to the silken sheets, Kunikuzushi squeezes your hands three times.

A message, a reminder, an unspoke phrase he’s yet to say.

“What’s with the faraway gaze in your eyes?” He murmurs softly as your lips tremble.

“My price is hiking up and Lihua is tempted to sell me.” It’s a broken whisper and Kunikuzushi dives down gently, kissing your lips hard as his knee settles between your bare thighs, your hands squeezing his.

“Don’t think of them while I’m here with you,” His words are breathy against your lips as he moves his hand to gently hold the nape of your neck, his other hand hooking behind your knee as he raises your leg.

“You’re mine, Y/n, and I won’t let any bastard have you.” His words are quiet but you can catch the underlying heat lining his words.

Your heart feels full as you gaze at the alluring man hovering above you. Pursing your lips in nervousness, you cup his face with your newly freed hands, forcing his dark indigo eyes to fly to yours.

Pulling him closer, your noses nuzzle against each other as your lips ghost over his. Your hand trails to his back, fingers gently tracing his spine as your thumb caresses his cheek.

Beautiful. You think to yourself.

He shudders at your motions and his dark blue eyes seem to become more half-lidded, pooling with lust and longing.

“I love you, Kuni.” You confess quietly, breath glossing over his lips and before you know it, he’s slamming them against your lips as you tangle your hand in his dark tresses.

He’s everywhere; his scent and touch driving you insane, dizzying yet so addicting.

Reluctantly pulling away for air, Kunikuzushi’s eyes seem dazed and drunken-like as he attempts to catch his composure. But with you, bare and ready for him beneath him, he finds it hard to focus.

His heart swells as it feels like it’s overflowing with warmth. He gazes at you sweetly as he thumbs the edge of your kiss-bitten lips, the look in his eyes tugging at your heart.

Kunikuzushi loses himself in your heat as your eyes close in pleasure. His hand gently squeezes yours once, twice—thrice.

“I love you,” He kisses you as you wrap your arms around his neck. “I am yours, Y/n.”

He murmurs against your lips, utterly addicted. “Always.”

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Kunikuzushi wakes up in the dead of night, his eyes tracing your serene features as he pulls you flush against him, his heart thrumming at the feeling of your bare skin against his.

His fingers gently trace the slope of your cheek before his hand cups your cheek. Your eyes sleepily flutter open and the look on his face sends your heart racing.

He places his forehead against yours, noses nuzzling against each other as your eyes close. “I am to leave for the front lines.” Kunikuzushi whispers quietly as your hands interlace with his, squeezing gently in worry.

Squeezing your hand once, twice, thrice—a reassuring and unspoken signal for the words, i love you.

“Do not fret, love. For I will come back and you and I will leave this place,” Kunikuzushi kisses you softly. “Together.”

“Promise?”

He smiles, “Promise.”

Your fingertips trace his cheek softly as his own tilt your chin upwards, “Come back safely to me, Kuni.” You murmur, lips dancing against his.

Kunikuzushi deepens the kiss as your fingers tangle themselves in his indigo locks.

“Always.”

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

The border conflict had taken much longer than he'd anticipated, two months at best but when Kunikuzushi returns to the harbor, he disregards the paperwork and letters littering his office, missing the urgent letters you’ve sent him.

He’s held back from seeing you due to having to close up loose ends with Xiao but once he’s free, he quickly makes his way to the Yuanfen House.

But as Kunikuzushi nears the pleasure house, his ears catch onto news that sends a chill down his spine.

“Did you hear? Someone bought the Balsam Flower Maiden out from the Yuanfen House!”

“Xiyue? No way!”

His eyes widened and his heart beat seemed to echo harshly in his ears. “They beat out the down payment another customer had put in.”

Before he knows it, Kunikuzushi is grabbing the man by his collar, his indigo eyes thundering violently. “When is she being sold?” He snarls and the man pales from the intensity of Kunikuzushi’s eyes, his aura flickering with anger and power.

“T- Today.” Kunikuzushi harshly lets go of the man’s collar before he’s running quickly, his heart aching as panic floods his mind.

He curses himself for being stupid, not having been more careful especially when he knows your price is skyrocketing.

Kicking the door open, he’s demanding to see Lihua, the said woman regarding him with a glare of indifference. “She was bought out.” She states simply as if you were something to be easily disregarded.

His eyes thunder, anger flaring in him as lightning buzzes on his skin. The people within Liyue closest to the harbor’s waters swear they can hear thunder on the horizon.

“I don’t give a damn,” Kunikuzushi growls, fists balling and he doesn’t care to wince at the slight sting his skin radiates when his fingernails dig into his palms.

“I don’t care about the price. I’ll double it, triple it.” He sees the old hag’s eyes sparkle and he feels disgust rise in him. “I want her and only her.”

She smirks, sly and conniving. “She’s all yours.”

Disregarding her words, Kunikuzushi is quick to make his way to your chambers, relief and worry blooming in him.

Opening the doors, he’s greeted with the sweet and slightly spicy, resinous scent of balsam flowers and he finds himself calming down.

Your eyes fly to the door, landing on his figure and they widen in shock. “I’m sorry,” Kunikuzushi admits softly, swallowing harshly as he sees your eyes pool with relief and sadness. “I’m sorry for being so late.”

He isn’t able to say much as your arms are suddenly wrapping around his neck, your scent invading his senses as you bury your face in his shoulder.

Your touch is soothing, calming and in your embrace does he feel less war-torn and he thinks that peace may feel a lot like you.

Kunikuzushi is quick to wrap his arms around your waist as he allows himself to melt into your embrace, placing a kiss on your hairline. “I’m sorry for taking so long.” He apologizes once more and his arms tighten around your waist as he feels your body tremble.

You look up at him and his heart aches seeing unshed tears glaze your pretty eyes. “It’s okay, you’re here now.” You whisper shakily and he wishes he could turn back time to spare you such melancholy.

It’s quiet before you shakily exhale, “I thought I lost you in battle.” Your words are vulnerable and it sends a spike of pain in his chest that lingers.

“Forgive me, my love.” Kunikuzushi murmurs, kissing your lips delicately. “Battered and wrecked, I will always come to you first.”

He holds you closer, “For my heart is so full of you, I can hardly call it my own.”

© 2024 𝐌𝐘𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆-𝐈𝐕. do not copy, repost, share, or translate any of my works to tiktok, instagram, and/or any other websites/platforms.

║Scaramouche║Cold Heart

Requested from Wattpad.

Gender-neutral.

Warning: Used foul language (b*st*rd is considered foul, right?)

Angst.

Word count: 600+

---

You should have known. The moment he came into your life with a suspiciously bright attitude with all sunshine and rainbows despite how he looks-- it should have been obvious that he wanted something from you.

"Why are you doing this?" you ask, looking up at him as tears drip onto the wooden floor. Where did the man you loved go? The one who stood before you was nobody you know. He was different; cold.

Scaramouche looks down at your body that sat on the floor, one side of your cheek red from the slap you received from him. "Why?" he repeats, kneeling on one knee to be on your eye level. "Because I came to collect your parents' debt."

Your eyes widen in disbelief, realization sticking down upon you. "Yeah, that's right, (Y/N)." A sadistic smile adorns his crazed eyes as he cups your chin. "It's been years since they paid-- even going to another nation to hide. But now matter, we Fatui will always find our debtors."

Your eyes follow as he stands up, looking down on you as if you were some pest. "But I must praise them." He gestures behind him-- to the two lump of bodies on the floor. "They actually got away from us for a long time."

"Anyway, I guess I'll take them being dead as their payment," he said, making his way to the front door, fixing his hat.

Just before he could step outside, you had to ask, "Then, why did you pretend that you loved me?" Your voice croaked, filled with betrayal and sadness. Scaramouche turns his head to look at you, eyes holding no affection towards you. A smile crept on his face, quite amused by your question. "Why? I thought that I'd toy with you for a little while," he answers. "I not only get to kill your parents, but break their precious child as well. I'd say that's double the entertainment."

It was unbelievable and sickening to think. You gave him your love and even showed yourself in your most vulnerable state in an enclosed space, but he only gotten entertainment from all that?

"You bastard." You grit your teeth. "I'll kill you!" Scaramouche laughs at your words, finding it hard to believe that you could even stand a chance against him. His body now somewhat facing you, he stares at you side eye with wicked eyes as a hand covers part of his face. "I'd like to see you try."

With that, he leaves you in the dark house with only the sun that shone through the open door as your light.

Now far from your sight, Scaramouche was left to his own thoughts. Admittedly, he did love you. When he first saw you out on the streets? That's when he fell for you. He really did enjoy the time he spent with you, already missing your warmth and smile that was his world.

He didn't know his debtors had a child, so when he knew, he was torn. He wanted to leave the Fatui then and there, but there would be nothing for him after and he knew that he would be killed by the other Harbingers for betraying the Tsaritsa.

However, he didn't need to kill you so he left you alive, although knowing how much hate you now had for the little Skirmisher. He knows that there was nothing he could do to amend the relationship and he accepts that, waiting for the day when you come to hunt him down.

"Then kill me, (Y/N), because I am a wicked man."

---

It Will Come Back

pairing - Scaramouche x f!reader (Au)

AN: This is a 3-4 part scara angst series. It does not make scara look good. If you're looking for scara comfort, this is not the series you should be reading. Reblogs are much appreciated and I would love your feedback to this :)

Word count - 5400

CW/TW: angst, insecurities, arguments/conflicts, jealousy, suggestive (nothing explicit), crying, heartbreak, mean! scara (sort of), unrequited love, hurt/no comfort

Header art credit

When he can't give you what you need but gives it oh so willingly to someone else...

PART 1 - Shatter me | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

In a dimly lit cafe, you sit across from Ayaka and Thoma, sipping at a lukewarm cup of tea. The ambiance is cozy, but the warmth of the place fails to reach you. Your gaze drifts toward the window, where raindrops streak down the glass.

"I know I should look after myself first," you confess. "But it's just... so hard."

Ayaka places a comforting hand on yours, her eyes filled with concern. "We understand, (Y/n). Living with him must be emotionally draining."

Thoma chimes in, his expression a mix of sympathy and frustration. "It sucks that you cannot change the dorm room arrangement until graduation. But at least there are only a few months left."

You nod, trying to force a smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes. "Yeah, just a few more months," you reply, sounding weary.

Ayaka leans in, her voice gentle. "You don't have to live there, you know. I know you already paid for the dorm, but you could stay with us. We have plenty of extra rooms, and Thoma already lives with us."

Ayato, who had been quiet until now, narrows his eyes and speaks with conviction. "She's right. You don't have to endure this. Come live with us. We'll take care of you."

Your heart swells with gratitude for their kindness, yet a heavy cloud of uncertainty lingers. "I appreciate it, really," you begin, "but... I don't want to run away from my problems.”

Ayato interjects gently, "I understand, but you already have a lot on your plate. The semester ends in a few months, and then you graduate. On top of that, you have reports to submit and jobs to apply for. Living under the same roof as Scaramouche is taking the life out of you."

Ayaka agrees, her eyes full of empathy. "You deserve so much better, (Y/n). Seeing Scaramouche with his new girlfriend is not something you need to experience."

Ayato adds thoughtfully, his eyes softening as he looks at you "You need to draw boundaries with him, especially concerning Miyo, she may be nice and sweet, but seeing them in what is supposed to be your safe space isn't easy on you and it isn't fair."

The weight of your situation bears down upon you, and you feel utterly exhausted, demotivated, burnt out, and mostly empty. The emotional toll of navigating an undefined relationship with Scaramouche, coupled with witnessing him move on with someone else, left you feeling like a ship adrift in stormy seas. You take a deep breath, feeling the heaviness in your chest, and reply with sincerity. "I know you all mean well, and I can't thank you enough for your support. I’ll see what I can do about it. But enough about me, what is going on in your lives?” You switch to a different topic, hoping it would distract you from your thoughts. As the rain outside intensifies, your mind drifts back to a vivid memory, a rainy day much like this one.

You had returned home from a college party; your steps unsteady from the effects of alcohol. Scaramouche, as he often did, had taken advantage of your non-confrontational nature and was munching on your leftovers, a smug grin playing on his lips.

"Hey," you slurred, your voice betraying a mix of anger and uncertainty. "That's... that's my food."

He looked up, his violet eyes meeting yours, a hint of surprise in his expression. "So what?" he retorted, feigning indifference. "You always let me have it anyway."

Your cheeks flushed with irritation, but the alcohol emboldened you, pushing you to speak up. "You can't just take whatever you want, Scaramouche! It's not fair!"

Setting the food aside, he stood up, closing the distance between you with an air of defiance. "Stop being a brat," he shot back. "It's just food."

Anger surged within you, fueled by a mix of alcohol and pent-up frustration. "I'm not a brat!" you countered; your voice tinged with indignation. "And you can't keep treating me like this!"

A tense silence hung between you, the room feeling smaller with every heartbeat. Emotions churned within you like a stormy sea, uncertain and volatile. But amidst the anger, there was something else, something magnetic and undeniable, pulling you both closer. Scaramouche's eyes bore into yours, and you could feel the intensity of his gaze, like an electric charge in the air. Your breath quickened, heart pounding in your chest, as if caught in the eye of a brewing tempest.

The storm of emotions reached its peak, and before you knew it, your lips were on his, a moment of reckless abandon and vulnerability. Time seemed to slow, the world around you fading away, leaving only the two of you entangled in a whirlwind of desire and frustration. His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer, and the taste of alcohol mingled with the sweetness of the rain outside. The sounds of soft moans and whispered words echoed in the room, like a melody that only the two of you could hear. The anger and frustration that had been pent up between you and him were all released through shared touches, an explosion of emotions that neither of you could resist. In the dim light of your room, his skin against yours felt electrifying, each touch igniting a fire within. It was a night of recklessness and vulnerability, a night when your world would spin on its axis, forever changing your relationship with Scaramouche.

And now, as you stand in front of your dorm room, the present looms before you like a daunting challenge. Your heart clenches with dread, knowing that the moment you step inside, you'll have to face him, the one who has become an intangible part of your life. The fear of having your heart broken anew grips you like a vice, but you know there is no escape from the reality that awaits you. Taking a deep breath, you turn the doorknob, and the room embraces you like an old friend. Yet, the warmth you once felt has been replaced by an icy chill. Your eyes dart around, seeking any sign of Scaramouche. Then, like a sharp blade, the sight of him cuddling on the couch with Miyo pierces your heart. A bowl of popcorn rests on his lap, and he playfully feeds her the kernels. The scene is so intimate, so tender, that it feels like a knife being twisted in your gut.

You force a polite smile as Miyo waves at you excitedly, her presence a constant reminder of what you lack. She invites you to join them, her friendly tone contrasting sharply with the storm of emotions swirling inside you. "We're having fun, come on (Y/n), join us. This movie is good!"

You decline her offer, offering a weak excuse of having work to do. The truth is that you can't bear to be near them, witnessing the affection he showers on her that was always reserved from you. It's not her fault, you know, but the jealousy and hurt gnaw at you nonetheless. She has everything from him that you longed for but never received.

As Miyo's face drops, you see her disappointment, and for a moment, a pang of guilt tugs at your heart. You know she means well, and her understanding demeanor only serves to amplify the turmoil within you. "Alright then, no worries. Good luck with your work," she says with a friendly smile.

Your response is curt as you mutter a quick, "Thank you," before hastily retreating to your room. The weight of emotions bears down on you, crashing into your chest like a tidal wave. You crash onto your bed, your heart heavy with pain and confusion. Three years – three long years you had been there for him, doing everything in your power to keep him happy. Yet, it now feels like you were nothing more than a convenience, a placeholder in his life until he found someone special for himself. The thought stabs at your heart, leaving a searing ache in its wake. It's not just the fact that he's moved on with someone else that hurts; it's the feeling of being forgotten, as if those three years meant nothing to him. The intimacy you shared, the emotions you poured into your undefined relationship, it all feels like a cruel joke now.

You recall the moments you spent together, the laughter, the tears, the shared experiences that bonded you. It was supposed to mean something – it was supposed to be enough. But now, it seems like all those moments were lost in the shadow of Miyo's presence. The ache in your chest intensifies as you wonder why you weren't enough for him. What did she have that you didn't? Was it her sweetness, her warmth, her ability to make him feel special? You find yourself drowning in a sea of self-doubt, questioning your worth and your place in his life. The room around you feels suffocating, the walls closing in as the weight of your emotions presses down on you. The pain of rejection, the bitterness of feeling replaced, it all swirls together into a storm of anguish that threatens to consume you.

The knock on your door startles you, and you take a moment to compose yourself before opening it. To your surprise and dismay, there stands Scara, his face contorted into a scowl. His voice carries a hiss as he demands, "What's your problem?"

You raise an eyebrow, trying to keep your composure despite the turmoil inside. "Excuse me?"

Scara's anger seems to intensify as he snaps back, "Miyo has been trying to be nice to you, trying to hang out, and you keep turning her down, being very bitchy and closed off to her."

Your heart sinks, and anger bubbles up inside you. How dare he accuse you of being rude to Miyo when all you feel is the pain of seeing them together? Before you can respond, he continues, his words laced with exasperation and anger "She's going to be here often whether you like it or not because she is my girlfriend. The least you can do is be nice to her."

His words strike a nerve, and a mix of hurt and frustration washes over you. How can he be so insensitive? Doesn't he understand how difficult this is for you? You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, but the emotions are too overwhelming.

"I... I don't hate her," you manage to say, your voice shaking slightly. "It's just... seeing you two together... it's hard for me."

Scaramouche's scowl softens a fraction, but there's still a hint of annoyance in his eyes. "Look, I get that it's not easy for you," he mutters, his tone begrudgingly acknowledging your feelings. "But she's important to me, and I won't have you treating her like crap."

Tears threaten to spill from your eyes, a mix of sadness and anger building inside you. "I'm not trying to treat her badly," you say, your voice steady. "I'm just trying to cope with everything, and it's hard for me to be around you two right now."

Scaramouche seems taken aback by the sincerity in your voice, but he quickly masks it with a defensive posture. "Well, you better figure it out," he retorts. "Because she's not going anywhere.”

It's not that you want to push Miyo away; it's just that seeing them together is a constant reminder of what you had with him and lost. You want to be happy for him, but it's hard when your heart feels like it's breaking every time you see them together. "I'll try," you say softly, the pain evident in your voice. "I'll try to be nicer, but please understand that it's not easy for me."

Scaramouche's expression softens slightly, and he lets out a sigh. "Fine," he grumbles, seeming to relent just a little. He turns to leave, and you can't help but feel a pang of sadness as you watch him go. The door closes, and you're left alone in your room, the storm of emotions still raging inside you.

You slide down against the door, your body shaking as tears and sobs break from you like a torrential downpour. Everything hurts so much. Your head feels heavy with a thousand thoughts, your heart aches with a pain you can't describe. Was Scaramouche ever this protective of you? You wonder bitterly. Probably not, you chuckle bitterly between sobs. He was always the one to roast you with insults, to chime in when his friends mocked you, to treat you like the butt of a joke. He always had a sense of superiority with everyone... everyone except her.

Miyo. The name feels like a knife in your chest. She came into his life, and suddenly everything changed. The tenderness he showed her was something you had yearned for, but he kept it locked away from you. It feels like betrayal, and the pain is unbearable. You had given so much of yourself to him, only to be tossed aside when someone new came along. As you sit there, feeling utterly broken and defeated, you can't help but question everything. Was there ever a chance for you two? Or were you destined to be the one who loved him more, while he gave his heart to someone else? The memory hits you like a tidal wave, pulling you into a painful flashback of a time not too long ago.

Scaramouche had been acting distant, colder and ruder than usual. The tension between you two was palpable, and it had finally reached its breaking point. You remember sitting in your kitchen over dinner.

"Is everything okay, Scara?" you had asked, trying to hide the nervous tremor in your voice. “You’ve been so closed off, recently.”

He stopped eating, frowning as he set his fork down. "Maybe it's time to end this… end this little charade of ours.," he said, his tone somber.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you felt a lump form in your throat. "What do you mean?"

Scaramouche sighed, looking tired and conflicted. "I'm getting tired of us always arguing, always fighting," he admitted. "And I'm tired of you asking more from me, asking for something I can't offer you... something I don't want to offer you."

You felt your heart shatter at his words, but you refused to give up so easily. "I can be patient," you said, your voice filled with sincerity. “I am sorry, Scara. I didn’t mean to come off as pushy. I didn’t know it was affecting you like this.”

But he shakes his head, looking weary and defeated. "It's not about being ready," he says. "I think it's better for us to be just friends. You shouldn't get your hopes up."

Your heart clenches at his words, panic rising within you. You can't bear the thought of losing him, of going back to being just friends when your feelings for him are so much more. "Scara, you can't be doing this," Desperation laced in your voice. "Not now, not when I'm in love with you."

He looks away, unable to meet your gaze. "That's precisely why I can't allow this to continue," he murmurs. In that moment, it felt like your world was crumbling around you. The dinner you had prepared with so much love and hope now lay untouched on the table. He threw the rest of the food in the trash can, as if symbolizing the end of something beautiful yet broken.

You tried to hold back the tears, the pain of rejection and heartbreak too much to bear. You had given so much of yourself to him, and now he was pushing you away, leaving you feeling abandoned and lost. "I don't want to lose you," you said, your voice quivering. "I can't imagine my life without you."

He stood up, and you reached out, as if trying to hold on to him, to keep him from slipping away. As Scaramouche harshly pulls away, you can feel the sharp pain of rejection cutting through you. "I can't deal with this right now," he says angrily, his voice cold and distant. "I need to go."

You stand there, your arms still reaching out for him, but he doesn't look back as he leaves the dorm room, leaving you by yourself to deal with your breaking heart. The tears spill freely from your eyes as the reality of the situation sinks in. The one person you had poured your heart and soul into, the one who had once been so dear to you, had now become a stranger, cold and indifferent.

As you sit in front of your laptop, the memories of that painful night still haunt you. You try to focus on your reports, hoping that burying yourself in work will numb the pain, but it's no use. The ache in your heart is still there, a constant reminder of what you had lost. You remember how he said he would prepare his own meals from now on, how he told you not to wait on him anymore. It felt like he was trying to erase every trace of your connection, as if he wanted to forget that you had ever been a part of his life. The pain is heavy, and the weight of it feels suffocating. You wonder if it will ever end, if you will ever be able to move on from this heartbreak. Graduation feels like a distant hope, a glimmer of light in the darkness of your emotions. The pain is raw, the wounds still fresh, and you wonder if you will ever find the strength to heal. You wish for a reprieve from the anguish, for a way to escape the constant ache in your chest. In the midst of your turmoil, you find solace in the thought that someday, somehow, you will find the strength to mend your broken heart. Until then, you take each day as it comes, hoping that with time, the wounds will heal, the pain will lessen and maybe, just maybe, he will come back to you.

----------------------

In the dimly lit living room, Scaramouche returned to the couch, his eyes meeting Miyo's curious gaze. She snuggled against his chest as they continued to watch the movie, her warmth and presence grounding him. She was a comforting balm to his troubled soul, someone who seemed to understand him in ways he had never thought possible. The guilt of his recent confrontation with you still lingered, but he pushed it aside for the moment, trying to focus on the joy he found in Miyo's company.

"Is everything okay?" Miyo asked softly, her voice carrying genuine concern.

Scaramouche's gaze softened as he looked at her, a small smile gracing his lips. "Yeah, everything's fine," he reassured her. "Just had to discuss something about some bills with (y/n)."

Miyo nodded, accepting his answer without pressing further. She snuggled closer against him, finding comfort in his embrace. Scaramouche couldn't help but feel lucky to have found her. She was a beautiful soul, intelligent, confident, and kind. Despite knowing the truth about his royal heritage, she treated him like any other person, never letting his status define their relationship. (Y/n) didn’t treat you any differently as well, idiot. A voice in his head spoke. He pushed it away, trying to focus on the present, on the happiness he found with Miyo. But guilt gnawed at him, wondering if he had been too harsh on you earlier. He recalled the way you looked earlier. Pale, tired, with dark circles under your eyes - you seemed unwell. Had he misjudged the situation earlier? Were you not being mean to Miyo after all? Graduation was just two months away; maybe you were genuinely occupied with work.

He couldn't shake off the concern he felt for you, his thoughts wavering between the affection he had for Miyo and the lingering emotions he had for you. Scaramouche adored Miyo; she made him feel loved and understood. Yet, a part of him couldn't forget how he treated you. The thought of someone treating Miyo the way he treated you made his chest hurt. Scaramouche's mind drifted back to a time not too long ago when you had discovered the truth about him and Miyo.

It had been a few weeks since you confessed your love, and he had turned you down, leading to a growing distance between you two. He had been avoiding you, but it became difficult to do so since the two of you shared a dorm. He had met Miyo a few weeks before your confession, and he knew he wanted to see more of her. But he couldn't do that while still entangled in a confusing "situationship" with you. That's why he had to end things, for both your sake and his own.

He was careful not to bring Miyo up after he had began dating her. He didn’t know if it was out of consideration for your emotions or out of guilt but his relationship with Miyo was a well-hidden secret from you. However, he longed for Miyo to be with him. He thought you would be at the supermarket where you part-timed, not returning until late in the night. So, he had invited Miyo over to your shared dorm, hoping to spend some time alone with her. The two of them were making out in the kitchen when you unexpectedly walked in. The shock on your face was unmistakable, as if you had just witnessed a murder. Scaramouche quickly pushed Miyo away, and she straightened herself, apologizing to you.

"I-I'm sorry," Miyo stammered, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

You stood there, silent for a moment, before finally speaking in a barely audible voice. "What is going on?"

Scaramouche cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. "Miyo, this is (y/n)," he introduced you with an awkward gesture. "And (y/n), this is Miyo... my girlfriend."

The sparkle in your eyes immediately diminished as you tried to process this information. Scaramouche noticed your breaths became shallow and short as your eyes shifted between him and Miyo.

"Girlfriend..." you whispered, almost as if testing the word on your tongue.

The atmosphere in the room turned heavy as he noticed your lips quiver. Miyo knew about you, about the situationship. Scaramouche had no secrets with her. "I... I'll just go to my room," you managed to say, your voice trembling. "I... I forgot my wallet."

With that, you rushed to your room, and Scaramouche watched as you quickly reemerged, dashing out of the dorm in a hurry before he could say anything. He felt a pit forming in his stomach realizing that he had hurt you. Scaramouche knew he had to make amends somehow, but he also understood that it might be too late.

“I should head home,” Miyo speaks placing a reassuring hand on his chest. “I know you are worried about her. I am too. This wasn’t the best way for her to find out.” She sighed. “We need to give her some time and space to process this. Be nice to her, okay?”

Scaramouche nodded and kissed her softly on the lips. “You’re just amazing, you know that? To think of her even in a situation like this.” He tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

In that moment, as Miyo placed a reassuring hand on Scaramouche's chest, he felt understood in a way he hadn't expected. Her understanding and concern for you showed him the depth of her empathy and kindness. Any doubts he had about her over you vanished away, replaced by a newfound appreciation for the woman in his arms. With her understanding and support, the uncomfortable pit that had formed in Scaramouche's stomach began to ease. He knew he could count on Miyo, not just as a girlfriend but as a true companion who would stand by him through thick and thin.

As the movie came to an end, Miyo had fallen asleep, snuggled against him. Scaramouche couldn't help but chuckle at how adorable she looked, her peaceful expression bringing a sense of calm to his heart. He placed a tender kiss on top of her head, feeling a mix of love and protectiveness toward her. Graduation season was upon them, and it had been a challenging time for all of them. He knew Miyo was working hard, juggling her studies and other responsibilities. In contrast, Scaramouche felt a sense of privilege, knowing that his path was set as a prince of Inazuma, despite his strained relationship with his mother, the queen. Graduation was supposed to mark a new beginning, a fresh chapter in their lives, but for Scaramouche, it felt more like a burden, a heavy cloak of expectations and obligations he had to carry. He couldn't help but wonder if he was truly ready for the responsibilities that awaited him as a prince. Despite his achievements and his position, there was always a sense of disappointment from his mother, the queen, which weighed heavily on him.

He knew that he had a responsibility to fulfill, but in that moment, with Miyo by his side, he felt a sense of solace. She was the one who made him feel like he could be himself, without the burden of expectations. Miyo saw him for who he truly was and accepted him, flaws and all. Scaramouche felt a deep gratitude for having her in his life, especially during times of uncertainty and pressure.

Scaramouche's senses were heightened as he heard the door to your room creak open, the sound like a haunting echo in the quiet space. You had been skittish ever since the day you discovered Scaramouche and Miyo in the kitchen, and he couldn't help but notice how seldom you were in the dorm lately. You would leave early in the morning and return late at night, prompting his concern for your well-being. He often wondered if you were getting enough sleep or if something else was troubling you.

He knew you weren't alright. Your weary appearance betrayed the emotional turmoil you were going through. Without making a sound or drawing too much attention to yourself, you walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling out a carton of milk. Scaramouche inwardly cursed himself, realizing that he had run out of milk and had used your supply to make Miyo hot chocolate. He had planned to replace it with a new carton tomorrow, but now it seemed like a careless oversight.

Seeing you sigh and throw the empty carton away, he mumbled an apology to you, hoping to ease the tension between you. "I'm sorry about the milk," he said, his voice soft and sincere.

You looked at him, and he noticed the tear tracks on your cheeks, causing a pang of guilt to shoot through him. He tried to brush it off, attempting to maintain a sense of normalcy. "It's just milk, (y/n)," he said, attempting to downplay the situation. "No need to be so dramatic about it. I’ll buy you some more tomorrow, okay?"

But the emotions he saw in your eyes told a different story. It was clear that there was more going on beneath the surface, and he wished he could reach out to you, comfort you in some way. But the weight of Miyo sleeping on his chest kept him in place, unable to move.

You quickly wiped away your tears, your eyes becoming hollow with all the emotions pooling inside them. "It's fine," you replied in a voice that cracked slightly, trying to maintain a façade of strength.

As you hurriedly rushed back to your room, he couldn't help but notice your hand gripping your stomach. Were you hungry? He had noticed that your shelves in the fridge were bare, indicating that you might not be taking care of yourself properly. As he sat there, still holding Miyo in his arms, the weight of the situation weighed heavily on his mind. He couldn't help but feel like he had let you down, and the guilt gnawed at him. Scaramouche knew that he needed to address the situation, to find a way to talk to you and make amends, but the fear of rejection and the complexity of his feelings held him back.

Despite not being together anymore, Scaramouche couldn't help but feel a lingering fondness for you. He missed talking to you, sharing inside jokes, and having spicy meals together where he would laugh at your expense as you danced around due to the heat of the food. There was a sense of comfort and familiarity with you that he had grown accustomed to, and it frustrated him that you wouldn't accept what he offered to you – friendship. In his mind, he couldn't understand why you were so stuck on the notion of loving him and having him love you back. It was unfair to him, he felt, as he had made his intentions clear from the start. He never wanted to give you the place that Miyo now held in his heart. He wasn't sure why he couldn't reciprocate your feelings, but he knew that it wasn't something he could force. He couldn't understand why you held onto that hope, even when he had rejected you.

Maybe it was because of your uncertainty. Scaramouche couldn't help but notice that you never seemed to decide anything for yourself. Your lack of self-esteem also played a role; you didn't seem to value yourself as much as you deserved. How could you expect him to love you when you placed your worth so low? The constant arguments between you two weighed on his mind as well. They always ended with you in tears, and it left him feeling drained and frustrated. Miyo, on the other hand, brought ease and stability to his life. She was confident, knew what she wanted, and had a clear goal in life - to become a diplomat in the Inazuma court. In contrast, he couldn't help but feel that you lacked direction and purpose. You never seemed to have a plan or a clear vision for your future. It made him question whether a long-term relationship with you would have been sustainable.

While he respected your opinions and advice, he couldn't help but feel weighed down by the constant nagging. You would urge him to study harder, to work towards proving himself, even though everything seemed to be already set for him as a prince. While he complained about how disappointed his mother was with him, instead of agreeing, you would encourage him to communicate with her. It felt like you were pushing him, never letting him be by himself. It was hard to let go of the hurt and frustration, but at the same time, he couldn't help but miss the connection you once shared. He wished things could have been different, that you could have been the person you needed you to be – a friend.

Scaramouche carefully picked up Miyo in his arms, cradling her gently as he carried her to his room. He walked with soft, measured steps, mindful not to wake her from her peaceful slumber. As he passed through the living room, his foot accidentally knocked over a pile of unread mail, scattering envelopes across the floor. His eyes caught sight of a particular envelope, distinct from the others. It was from Mondstadt, and it bore your name on it. The sight of it caused a pang of curiosity to stir within him, but he hesitated to pick it up. He knew that mail was private, and he shouldn't intrude into your personal space.

Without thinking much of it, Scaramouche walked towards his room, still holding Miyo in his arms. He placed her gently on the bed, making sure she was comfortable and covered with a blanket. She sighed softly, settling into a deeper slumber. Scaramouche climbed into bed beside Miyo, wrapping his arms around her as he pulled her close. He found solace in the warmth of her body and the steady rhythm of her breathing. In that moment, as he lay beside her, he pushed aside the thoughts of you. He chose to focus on the present, on the love and comfort he found with Miyo.

Next

AN: my dumbass forgot to let y’all know to let me know if you want to be in a tag list for this series 😭

˗ˏˋ ꒰ YOU ARE A LIGHT OF EYES OF MINE꒱ ˎˊ˗ ballader / wanderer

you are a ray of light in his impenetrable darkness..

✧ warnings — mention of angst, fem ! reader, doomed relationship, mention of organs. ✧ a/n — sorry for the absence, i was busy writing part 3 of the fic with yandere scara) but for now enjoy a little angst ( BRUUH I will delete this shii tomorrow 💀)

must listen with .. A Little Death – The Neighbourhood

Scaramouche had been stabbed in the back three times, but only after the third time had he finally learned not to expose her to the blow, but to strike first. It was easy to hate people - easier than he had initially thought. Vicious, petty, deceitful and infinitely selfless in their desire to prolong life at any cost, even when it was devoid of the slightest sense… They worshiped the Gods with the most sincere faces, and then sinned with selfless rapture. They smiled kindly, showered pleasantries as if they were gold coins, but each time they began to swear as soon as they realized that there was no longer any need for pretense.

And that made it even more disgusting to realize that some part of his non-existent puppet soul continued to stubbornly strive to acquire this very notorious "humanity". The emptiness where the ribs should have been itched and burned - and he hoped to fill this hole with someone else's blood, pain and suffering.

Killing people is also simple - simpler than he initially thought. They have fragile bones, soft skin and hot hearts that beat in his palms in the last dying fit with quivering clots of bloody flesh.

But the Balladeer did not see beauty in human hearts - slippery, disgusting to the touch and foul-smelling. Disgusting even from an aesthetic point of view. He sincerely tried to discern something in them that would arouse at least a bit of interest in him, but stubbornly did not find it. Or he simply desperately did not want to notice anything, in order to finally convince himself that imitation of people is a waste of time, effort, not worth its cost.

The Electro Archon puppet is created to be the perfect vessel for the Deity. He is above people by right of his birth, by any other right that exists. Electro Gnosis alone will be more than enough to replace some pathetic piece of flesh that drives blood through the veins.

The divine doll Electro Archon was hardly interested in the human body in such a… vicious and obscene aspect.

If he had no need for food, water, or banal rest, then for bed games - and even more so! And did Raiden think about such functions of the puppet organism, creating it…

But when he found such an innocent and bright creature as you, somehow managed to change his opinion about the human race. Hah.. In all his 500 years, he could not even imagine that a creature like him would so tenderly embrace, so passionately kiss and speak such sickeningly sweet words to some human maiden…; he always considered human feelings so alien and forgotten for him, Its uch an unearthly and alien feeling for him… so wrong, but so pleasant… It's as if you're dispelling his bitterness with your sweet taste.

He had no idea how he allowed some girl like you to cross the dangerous line and get so close to him.. Although he does not regret anything. But sometimes he thinks that it was better to kill you then than to break your fragile, like crystal soul into a thousand pieces… He initially understood that your attachment to him was a mistake. A terrible mistake.

@anantaru @hitomisuzuya @lavandulawrites @himasgod @neuvigroove @quimichi @rsventhesecondd @anemoswirlsmyheart @nil4everheartz @kujiba @genshingorlsrevengeance @shyentsfoundherink @lavandulawrites @ashyashylee