Sean Tells All - Blog Posts

The Bachelor - Sean Tells All Recap

Everyone gather round, grab a cup of tea or coffee and snuggle up for a riveting gab session with your two best friends Sean Lowe and Chris Harrison. Those two are thick as thieves! Kind of. Sean didn't really talk to Chris that much which could be why he's made some really questionable decisions. Tonight, perhaps, we'll get some answers.

The interview is timed between hometown dates and the infamous "fantasy suite" dates (jk it’s happening right now). How will Sean handle that little pickle with his squeaky clean Christian image? And why don't the makeup people ever darken his eyebrows?! Just a little shading to make him look like a person! It’s all I’m asking for here people.

First topic up for discussion is how he sent Desiree home last night. To understand this decision, we travel back to the hometown date where Chris asserts that “the brother really questioned everything that’s sacred to you.” That seems a little hyperbolic, but sure, let’s go with it.

Sean fills us in that apparently Nate, Dez’s brother, has had a bit of a trouble past and is trying to “straighten himself out” which explains the necklace tattoo and general horrible attitude and lack of tact/manners. While Nate was ranting that Sean was a playboy, Sean wanted to hit the guy for insulting the core of his character. That would have been horrible but also kinda great because they were sitting by that pool and it would’ve been a very cool choreographed fight scene. But violence is not the way to solve things, kids.

What we didn’t see though, was the FIRST conversation Sean and Nate had where everything went fine! Nate called him a “really nice dude” and gave his approval! So what did he get drunk or something and go nuts on Sean for fun? Like, what the eff happened during dinner? “Ultimately I just chalk it up to him being a jackass,” Sean concludes. Fair point, man. Fair point, if inelegant.

We watch the emotional good-bye between Sean and Desiree one more time just to make our hearts break. I really feel like she’s in perfect position to be the next Bachelorette, so there’s that hope in her future.

Next up we recap the relationship with Sarah, our beautiful and artsy friend born with one arm. It reminds me how great she is and how much I want to go see movies and hang out with her. Sean doesn’t really reveal anything we didn’t already know about how at the end, he just didn’t feel the spark with her. He shares how much he wishes the best for Sarah and that she will find the love of her life. Those are some hollow words, bro, no matter how well intentioned.

Selma the Iraqi who wasn’t allowed to kiss on TV but was super affectionate and cuddly is up next. We see all the ways they tried to get around kissing like butterfly kisses and Eskimo kisses and I hate it. Remember how she did finally kiss him and then he sent her home? Ugh. Painful.

Moving forward into the pain territory, we have to watch Lesley and Sean complete the world record for longest onscreen kiss one more time. We recap THEIR whole relationship next, and I’m getting cranky. I was promised a gossip session about Tierra, and I want that delivered. Oh, and just in case Lesley isn’t kicking herself enough for not telling Sean she loved him, he says that if she had done that, he probably would’ve gone home to meet her family. So there’s that.

TIERRA TIME! WOOOOT! After bringing us up to speed as if we haven’t been watching this whole season, Sean ultimately says he feels “like a fool” and that he was “duped.” Thank you for admitting that. “In hindsight, I wish I would’ve kept Jackie on the two-on-one!” YES. Oh keep going, give us more dish. And also, I’m just really glad that he let her go and that he can openly admit that she was not a great person. We don’t normally get this resolve.

The fight in Montana lasted for hours and moved rooms several times. Sean was also feeling like a cranky baby because being the Bachelor is not easy and it is hard to be paid to travel the world and fall in love with several beautiful women wa wa wa wa.

Now that the gossip circle is broken up there’s nothing really worthwhile to talk about. We see some more deleted scenes of fun antics and none of them are really that fun. Then Chris asks about what’s really going to go no inside the fantasy suites.

Sean says that he just sees it as an opportunity to really talk to the women with no cameras, no audience, just the two of them. Chris once again brings up that maybe in the past the fantasy suites have involved, oh I don’t know, some specific kind of act that for some reason people think only happens at night? “I say it’s really none of your business,” Sean beams to Chris.

“A gentleman to the end,” Chris concludes. I guess we could say that. Sure. I’ll give it to Sean for being a gentleman.

That wraps up our night! We'll see each other next Wednesday for the splendor and drama of Thailand and the overnight dates. Until then, please don't let anyone take your sparkle away, pumpkins.