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a girl? seriously?//katsuki bakugou smau

fem!reader. no quirk au. bnha college au.

an: put on an angsty playlist for this one, just trust me😭

when you’re starting your freshman year at college, you desperately search for a cheap dorming option, even if it’s some hole in the wall. when you see an ad posted for 4 people looking for a 5th dorm mate, you figure this is the best you’re gonna get. at least you have a place to live, right?

prologue. | previous part. | part 8. (soon!)

part 7.

you and bakugou sat on his bed after your night out, finally putting together the lego set that he had just bought. earlier in the day he was barely talking to you, you were glad that things felt normal again. the others wanted so badly to build the set with you, but katsuki said “fuck off” and forced them to just wait for the end result.

“where the hell does this damn piece go.” he huffed out. he had been working with this one piece for the last 5 minutes.

you laughed at his frustration and grabbed the piece from his hand, flipping through the instruction pamphlet as he watched you closely. with your brows furrowed and your face contorted with confusion, you finally found where the piece went and let out an “aha!” in victory. bakugou laughed to himself over your determination and you turned your head to look at him.

“what?” you asked him, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“nothing,” he said with a shake of his head, “you’re just so focused. it’s funny.”

you rolled your eyes at him and continued to build the lego guitar, finally seeing some progress. you and bakugou hadn’t been talking much, just listening to your playlist and enjoying the company.

“you and purple hair?” he said, splitting the quiet.

“uh…we’re good? i think? i don’t know. we talked today and i can’t tell if it was a good conversation or not.” you didn’t make eye contact with him as he looked at you. “i don’t think i wanna talk about it, that’s a future me problem.” you laughed out, trying to lighten the mood.

he nodded his head and you went back to listening to the music as you built this weirdly difficult set.

“you guys all went to high school together, right?” you figured now was a good a time as any to get to know this blonde boy some more.

“uh yeah. eijiro and i were the only ones who really knew where we wanted to go to college, the other two just followed along.” he answered back. “what about you?”

“the girls and i have been friends since the end of middle school. we knew we wanted to go to school together after we graduated so we chose this place and all got accepted.” you said, still messing around with the legos.

“sucks that you couldn’t be with them.”

“yeah i was really bummed about it at first.” you responded back to him, moving your hair to the side so you could see the instructions better.

“you like it here though?” he asked hesitantly.

“obviously.” you said with a laugh. “i mean, i was nervous at first, but after the first week i knew that i liked living with you guys.”

he stared at you for a minute, taking in your features. did you always look like this? something about the way you focused on this stupid lego set had him enthralled. did your eyebrows always crease like that or was that new? the way your hair fell even had him confused at what words he should use next. what the hell was going on?

“do you ever regret it?” he said, taking careful consideration of the way your lips moved as you thought about what to say.

“no, i don’t think i do.” you looked up as you thought about your time with the four idiots. “you guys are definitely stupid most of the time, but i’ve grown to really love you guys and your weird habits. it’s become second nature to me.” you said, tilting your head at him.

all he could do was look at you as he thought “what is going on with me right now”. you didn’t take your eyes off of him, instead, you knitted your eyebrows together at his silence.

“why? do you regret me moving in?” you said with a chuckle, obviously asking as a joke.

he thought about your question for way longer than intended.

“i mean sometimes i think it would be better if you didn’t move in.” he replied. wait, did he mean to say it like that?

he watched your face drop slightly, and cursed himself.

“what do you mean?” you had officially dropped the legos you were holding.

“not in a bad way. i just mean that things would be easier if you didn’t.” he said, watching your face drop further. he was totally fucking his words up now.

all you could do was stare at him, trying to read his expression. was he being serious? was he just fucking with you? what the hell was he saying right now.

“easier how? do i make things difficult or something?”

“no that’s not what i’m saying.” he rushed the words out of his mouth, losing control of his ability to fix the situation he just created.

“then what are you saying? do you wish i hadn’t moved in or something?” you could feel your breathing getting shallow and your face getting hot. this was not a conversation you wanted to have after the shit you went through with shinso today.

“i like that you live here, but sometimes i think about how different it would be if you didn’t.” these words sounded way different in his head. he was really trying to express how much he DID enjoy you living here. god what the fuck is going on? he had never felt this helpless before, but something about you, right now, made him unable to think straight.

how were you supposed to react to this? was he meaning to say this? had he been thinking this since you moved in?

“i mean, like, maybe it would have been better for you if you didn’t move in.” he said, his mouth going dry.

“better for me how, katsuki? you’re really throwing me for a loop right now.”

“fuck. okay i’m gonna go get us some waters or something.” he responded, not hesitating to get up off the bed and make a beeline for the door, leaving the conversation unfinished.

you stared after him, mouth agape, as each possible thought ran through your head. without thinking, you were on your feet following after him. he hadn’t made it to the kitchen yet when you called out to him.

“what do you mean katsuki?” you could feel your throat start to ache as you held in your emotion.

“just give me a second, okay?” he said turning to look at you, and quickly turning back.

kirishima sat on the couch watching this interaction, confused as to what the hell was going on, while sero and denki were in the kitchen trying to make a video when they heard your voice.

“no katsuki i need you to talk to me. do you all feel this way?”

bakugou stopped in his tracks and sighed, putting his hands on his hips and turning to face you. the two in the kitchen had come out from behind the wall to see what was happening while kirishima paused the video on his phone to try to figure out what you were talking about.

“i fucked up my words alright? i didn’t mean it the way you’re taking it.” he said calmly, hoping he could defuse the situation.

“how else am i supposed fucking take it? you basically said you wished i hadn’t have moved in!” you were entering the shouting zone now. you were really trying to control your emotions but hearing what you heard from bakugou was the last thing you wanted to come out of his mouth.

“fuck y/n. that’s not what i meant.” he said rubbing his face. did he even know how to explain to you what he meant? that if you hadn’t moved in maybe he wouldn’t feel this helpless and confused? that if you hadn’t moved in he wouldn’t worry about you constantly? how he would still feel normal if you weren’t here?

“then tell me katsuki! please!” you begged, “do you hate me or something?”

his eyes widened and he took a step toward you.

“god, no i don’t hate you.”

the other three that were in the room looked at each other in utter confusion. denki looked at kiri with a look that said “should we step in?”

“i’m saying that if you weren’t here things would be different, but i don’t mean that in a bad way.”

“i think i’m confused how you don’t mean that in a bad way. it sounds like you’re saying you just wish i didn’t move in.”

“FUCK. i don’t mean it like that, okay?” his arms were raised at his side. “i mean, like, we’re idiots and maybe you would have found better somewhere else.” was he saying the right things?

“i already explained that i love you guys and i don’t regret it. you definitely have your moments where i wish i could shut you all out, but that’s normal.” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“that’s one of the things i’m trying to get at here! no one asked you to move in, but you’re still here.” fuck that’s not how he meant to say it. he meant to say it like “no one made you choose this place but you chose it anyway”. he was royally fucking this up.

your faced contorted into one of confusion and frustration. no one asked you to be here? maybe he meant to word it differently but his tone was betraying him right now. bakugou was so difficult to read and it made you want to grab him by the head and slam him into a wall.

“no one asked me to be here? i think the ad kirishima posted would say otherwise, bakugou.”

“oh my god, that’s not how i meant it.”

kirishima finally got up from his place on the couch and walked to where you two stood.

“okay guys, wanna tell me what the hell is going on?”

bakugou looked at kirishima with a look that said “please go the fuck away” but also “please help me” and then looked back at you. it was obvious you were trying not to cry and he wanted to grab you right there and pull you in.

“i…um. i think i’m just gonna…” you said, turning on your heel toward your bedroom.

the boys surrounded bakugou, questioning him immediately.

“what the fuck did you just do bro.” kirishima said, grabbing him by the shoulder.

bakugou stared blankly toward where you walked away, saying “fuck” in his head over and over. he had never felt this anxious in his life. he usually didn’t care what words came out of his mouth or how they came out, but tonight, not a single word came out the way he wanted it to. he wanted to explain what he meant, but he wasn’t even sure how to do that.

“katsuki. dude. hello?” kirishima said, knocking bakugou out of it. “what the hell just happened?”

“i don’t know.”

“what the fuck do you mean you don’t know?” kaminari responded.

“i’m gonna go talk to her.” sero said, slipping past the other three.

when you heard a knock on your door you hesitantly answered, seeing your black haired friend staring back at you. you were in the middle of packing a bag to stay with jirou and mina. maybe you just needed to get out of bakugou’s hair for a few days, maybe give him some space to let him breathe. something had obviously been wrong with him recently and maybe this was a result of it. you didn’t want him to harbor any negative feelings toward you, that was actually the last thing you wanted.

“what happened?”

“i don’t know.” you said returning back to your bag, “i think he’s going through something and obviously i’m not making it any better, so i’m just gonna stay with jirou and mina for the night.”

“dude, please don’t. bakugou is really bad with words, i don’t think he meant a single thing he said.”

“but what if he did?” you turned to look at sero, tears fully streaming down your face now. he was quick to pull you into a hug as you cried into his shirt.

“maybe i did something wrong.” you said in between tears.

“no, y/n you didn’t do anything wrong. he is just really bad with people for whatever fucking reason. just let him figure out what he wanted to say.”

you broke the hug and zipped your bag up, slinging it over your shoulder.

“i love you all, but i think i’m going to give him some space for a day or two. i don’t know if he meant what he said but i care about him enough to not want him suffering just because i’m here.” you said, walking toward your door and leaving sero behind.

the others watched you walk toward the front door, their mouths wide open as you said goodnight to them before shutting the door behind you.

“you’re fucking joking.” kirishima said with a look to sero.

sero looked at bakugou and sighed.

“she’s doing that for you bro. she thinks maybe her not being around for a few days will help you clear your head. even though you said whatever fucked up thing you did, she’s still prioritizing your stupid ass.”

“she’s leaving?” katsuki responded blankly.

“like i said, doing it for you. not even because she’s mad at you, but because she’s fucking worried about you.”

“oh my god bro.” kaminari said, pacing the room.

bakugou silently walked to his room, only thinking about what he could do to fix the shithole he just put himself in.

you made it to your car and called jirou. she was quick to invite you over, saying you could stay as long as you needed.

with the windows all the way down, you drove with tears in your eyes and your music blaring, ignoring your phone as it lit up with missed calls and messages.

this felt worse than anything you had gone through in recent months. this hurt you more than you wanted it to, but why?

you weren’t even thinking about shinso anymore.

an: long ass chapter, i’m so sorry😭 but this was the chapter i have had planned for DAYSS so i had to make sure it was thorough and somewhat well written. i love angst 😁 oh miscommunication trope, my beloved (it makes me want to shoot myself)

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