Star Rail X Reader - Blog Posts

Falling in love at the wrong time - gepard

Where the captain of the silvermane guards catches feelings for you, but unfortunately can't pursue that love in the end... ~1.2k words, mutual pining ! hurt/comfort-ish but more angst ? ! reader has siblings and low-ish self esteem (apologies for the plot holes and ooc! i couldnt really refer to a wiki)

They say a shield blocks all harm in sight.

But why did they hurt him? 

Why did you leave him? 

The newly-appointed captain stood in the billowing winds, vision nearly blinded by the blizzard. Horns blared in victory, yet, it felt ironic. It felt like a total loss to him, his comrades laid dead on the snowy grounds, ruby blood staining the chastity of the pure, white snow. He felt disappointed in himself for not preventing the inevitable deaths from happening. Gepard’s chest was still heaving from the intense fight. He paced around the battlefield, checking the premises for any surviving Silvermane Guards. He’d only find a few, who stood against the harsh winds of Jarilo VI.

Once Gepard returned to the city of Belobog, the first person that he sought for wasn’t Cocolia Rand, the Supreme Guardian (at that time, at least). Instead, the one that he yearned to see was you. You were the strategist for the Silvermane Guards, handling and distributing supplies for wars, planning out war tactics with your team. He had admired you when he was but a humble soldier.

Of course, Gepard had to finish his duties first, so he headed to Qlipoth Fort to drop off some reports on the number of fatalities and such. Once he entered, he was greeted by the warmth of the heater and the serious atmosphere of the office. 

“Sit, Landau,” Cocolia commanded. 

Gathered at the Supreme Guardian’s desk were a quartet: Gepard, Cocolia, her daughter Bronya, and you. His eyes widened at the sight of you. You look more tired than ever, dark circles lining the underside of your eyes, your eyes were near bloodshot, veins popping out of your forehead, hair more tousled than he’s ever seen it. 

“...?” 

“I have decided to resign as the strategist for the Silvermane Guards, respected individuals of Belobog. I apologise for any troubles I have brought to you all by making this decision, and I’m especially sorry to you, Gepard.” 

You turned to him, tears brimming your eyes, as you subtly lifted your head up and blinked, trying to hide your emotions behind the stone cold walls of the Fort. 

“I’m so sorry, but you’ll have to work alone for now. I’m sure I’ll be easy to replace,” you smiled, bitter from the depths of your heart from the thought that the one watching Gepard and the others fight on from the sidelines would no longer be you. 

“Your resignation will be processed by the end of the month, for the remaining of the time, please continue to serve Belobog to the best of your ability.”

“Dismissed.” 

The final words of Cocolia ricocheted off the walls. The two of you shuffled out the office and out to the city. The two of you didn’t speak a word to each other, you could only hear the clinking of Gepard’s armour, and the soft sniffles from you as you soon realised that tears were falling down onto the snow. 

“Look at me.” 

“I’m sorry, I was too-”

You sank to the ground in distress, Gepard following suit. He was so curious, curious about why you had to resign, curious about how your face would look when you were crying (though he’d die instead of admitting it). Seeing your weeping form only made him want to protect you more, to hold you in his muscular arms, and to stroke your hair to ease your sorrows. His heart sped up as he resisted the impulse to do just that. But alas, even the strongest soldier messes up sometimes. 

“Gepard?!”

“Let’s just…stay like this. I know both of us need it. And I know that I need you, no matter in war, or in life.”

You softly nodded. Being a strategist meant that you had to be proficient in thinking logically and emotionally to understand…well, war. And you were pretty sure that the feelings you had towards him were mutual. When Gepard pulled away, you couldn’t really understand what was going through his mind. Did he even realise that he subconsciously confessed to you? Was he regretting what he said? Was he still lost in his own thoughts?

You’d guess he soon realised what he said, because he shot up from the ground, and shook his head repeatedly like a Plains Bear Cub plopping out of the snow. 

“I didn’t mean it like that!” He blurted. 

You clasped his gloved hand into yours, feeling Gepard's (significantly larger) hand encapsulate yours. You wanted to make it clear to him that being a strategist was too mentally taxing for you, and how you had planned to move back to the Underworld to support your siblings. But yet, no words dared to form at the tip of your tongue. Now that it was basically confirmed that Gepard has feelings for you, you didn’t want to break it to him. There was no way he would throw away his job just to accompany someone like you. You were sure that Cocolia could find a new strategist as fast as she could snap her fingers. 

“I…I’m moving, Gepard. I know that we both have feelings for each other, but I simply won’t let you leave so many opportunities behind just to join me in the Underworld. You have Serval and Lynx to take care of, and I have my own siblings too.” 

“I understand. But…” 

“There’s no excuse for you to come with me. There are so many people waiting to take my spot, and I’m sure that they’ll be ever more capable than I. So, my love, just wait. Maybe on another snowy day, we’ll meet on the battlefield, but perhaps in a war between the overworld and the underworld. You know how things are these days.” 

“I can’t possibly have your blood on my hands!” Gepard couldn’t believe it. Asides from the silly crushes from the military academies he’d attended, you were his first love. You were the one who agreed to plant flowers with him, or teach him how to sing without going off-key. But now? You’re leaving. And worse? You could be fighting against him one day. You were sure to be on the frontlines because of the lack of personnel in the underworld. With little to no actual fighting experience you had, you were basically dead before the battle even started. 

Perhaps you were right. On another day, where winds billowed the same way they did months ago, a discordance of gunshots and cannons played as gunpowder and snow blinded Gepard again. His eyes were locking on to every person from the underworld, but his main target was his lover. He couldn’t find you. You were gone, lost to the blizzard. 

Gepard’s ears drowned out the loud “boom”s and “bang”s of the battlefield, he was only focused on finding you. He needed to see you, he needed to see the hands that he once held, or the frame of yours that he once embraced. 

“Captain! Isn’t that…” One of the guards bellowed. 

Gepard knew you’d die at the hands of his own soldiers. 

He just didn’t expect you to have a small smile on your face as you laid, blood soaking the snow. 

Little did he know, your last thought as you laid dying was him. 

Unwanted reunion

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ prompts: “catching the other one crying shortly after an argument and immediately feeling an overwhelming wave of guilt crash onto you.” + "it's okay, we can fix this..." + “playing with their hair until they fall asleep”|| 1k event

✧ contents: hurt/comfort, angst, established relationship, implied character death

✧ a/n: if u wonder how in the world i came up with the scenario below. i genuinely don't know either it's a mystery to even me. CREATIVE LIBERTY WINS AGAIN THE PROMPTS WERE LITERALLY INSPO AND NOT WRITTEN DIRECTLY INTO THE SCENARIO. also implied that this took place after the battle with phantylia so keep that in mind.

NOT BETA-READ AS USUAL FELLAS I WANTED TO HAND THIS OVER TO YA'LL ASAP AS AN APOLOGY FOR STARVING YOU ALL FOR SO LONG!! it's mild angst though, so sorry.

Jing Yuan's can feel a familiar heaviness weigh on his body as well as the feeling of someone wrapping a roll of gauze on his arm. However opening his eyes proved to be a challenge in itself and it's only with great struggle that he can manage to force them slightly open to the bright light.

The first thing he notices is the familiar ceiling of your shared home. A bit weird since whenever he did get injured he would immediately be rushed towards a private room by the Seat of Divine Foresight - which was the safest place for him to stay. Perhaps you had gotten your will again to take care of him - seeing as you're a high ranking healer yourself and quite a stubborn soul.

But his eyes still widen a tiny bit when he sees you sitting by the edge of the bed, one hand gripping his gauzed wound while your other hand is busy trying to find something to keep your hard work in place. You're humming a soft tune again, he never knows what sort of melody you're humming, only that it had become a habit for you after the amount of years you had spent by his side bandaging his battle wounds. Something about helping your mood and staying positive.

"Your recklessness knows no bounds, Jing Yuan." the sternness of your voice snaps him out of the daze he's in, immediately rising up from the bed only to groan in pain when the wounds that you had just wrapped up react to his body folding, "... And still don't know when to rest - even when I'm in the middle of treating you."

"...How much time has passed?" he asks, voice hoarse after having slept for who knows how long. You only hum, setting the bandages aside - the gesture causing Jing Yuan to follow your hand movements which makes him notice the bloodied bandages inside the trash by your legs.

"A couple of days, I was just finishing changing your bandages when you finally woke up. Here, some water." you inform, raising a glass towards his lips, patiently waiting for him to move closer.

You only start to speak again after he's taken several gulps, placing the cup of water back on the nightstand beside his bed. "Why are you so willing to throw your life away?" you ask after a moment of silence, helping Jing Yuan rest against the headboard, eyes never leaving his own that don't dare to even look into your own.

"It's my duty-"

"Your duty is to make sure as many of the Cloud Knights survive a battle. Not gamble your life on a piece that you weren't sure had the capabilities to help."

Jing Yuan bites his tongue at your immediate rebuttal, you were right after all. "The Master Diviner was right there by you. A troop was enough to guard the entrance, you didn't need to leave the master diviner with them to go on this-"

"... Can't you be happy for once whenever we meet like this?" he asks quietly, effectively stopped you from saying anything more. His gaze is cast downwards whenever he mutters the same question to you whilst shrinking a bit after asking. There's no sign of the proud general in your presence - in front of you is just Jing Yuan asking a supposedly harmless question.

Perhaps that's the reason why you can never shove him away immediately.

"... You know what my answer is."

Jing Yuan was no crier. In fact, you think he stopped crying or showing any visible sign of discomfort or uneasiness the day he got the title as General. You're pretty sure you can count the amount of times you've seen Jing Yuan cry on one hand.

Perhaps his ability to hide his own needs and wants so often day by day for the past centuries makes your dismissal of his simple wishes that more gut-wrenching for you. You try to ignore the overwhelming guilt that washes over you every time you have to say the same thing to him.

"... You have a lot of things that you want to get done on the Luofu, Jing Yuan." you murmur softly, extending a hand to run your fingers through his locks, breaking apart any knots that may have formed in his sleep.

"You know we can meet again, but now is not the time - especially now," you gently remind with a sombre smile, your hand moving from his hair to rest against his chin to make him face you.

"It's gonna be alright, okay?" he scoffs at your reassurance, finally coming to terms with your conditions once again like always, wrapping his arms around your waist to fall down back on the bed with you on top.

"Remember the last time you said those words to me?" he says, almost sounding offended at your choice of words to which you only smile against his skin in guilt.

"It was the first time I saw you cry so hard," you try to joke, pressing your hands against the mattress to push yourself off of Jing Yuan, choosing to hover above him instead.

"... I'm sorry," you decide to say in the end after a moment of silence, once again threading your fingers through his hair - an act you knew used to calm him before. At this moment though, you're not so sure.

"Why? Shouldn't I be sorry?" he asks in return, a small yawn leaving his lips as his eyes struggle to stay open. You smile bitterly as you shake your head, still threading your fingers through his hair.

"No, none of it was your fault - what happened back then was out of your control. But this time it isn't. I can wait for a long time, Jing Yuan. I know you're aware of that so don't try to rush anything to meet me again." you tell him, leaning down to press your lips against his forehead.

"So it's time to wake up, dear. Luofu is waiting for you."