The Day I Lost Him - Blog Posts

Is it okay to want to die?

I’ve fucked up enough, it only seems fair

I don’t want to hurt anyone I love anymore

I thought I was doing okay

I thought things were okay

My mind makes it feel like everything is fine even when it’s obvious that things aren’t

I struggle so much with trying to survive

I focus too much on what makes me happy because keeping me happy keeps me here

But doing that hurts the ones I love

I neglect them

I hurt them

Over

And over again

I don’t want to do it anymore

I don’t want to hurt them

I don’t want to hurt me

If I die I won’t hurt them

I’ll only hurt them once more

One final time

And then it’ll be over and I’ll never hurt them again

It’s becoming a more welcoming thought

A thought I wish to indulge

Make it reality

But I’m afraid

I’m a fucking coward

Is it okay to want to die if it means I won’t hurt them anymore?