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From another Tumblr post that has been lost to me
Bruce is the most “over” his parents deaths, in the sense that he’s the one who’s lived with it the longest therefore also the one that makes the most jokes about it
Like how Jason in fanfics makes jokes about his death, Bruce makes jokes about his parent’s deaths and it makes everyone slightly uncomfortable.
——
Alfred: Master Bruce, as per the new chore schedule that we have all agreed upon, it is now your day to wash the family dishes.
Bruce: 😬 Ooo, I actually can’t, you see I gotta visit my parents, ya know, be a good son and all that. *Bruce is actively shuffling toward the back door of the manor where the graveyard is*
Alfred: *stunned silence*
——
Bruce: You need to visit more chum
Dick: *sighing* Bruce, I’ve got my own city to run. I can’t just drop everything to visit Gotham.
Bruce: *shaking his head* You’re grandparents want to see you more. What’s so wrong with that?
Dick: W-what?
Bruce: Are you gonna make me go out there to my parent’s grave and tell them that you don’t want to visit anymore? Cause you’re ‘busy’? Do you not care anymore?
Dick: Are you seriously doing this again? You know I’m going to say yes if you put it like that!
Bruce: *still stoic but has a very pleased energy* Oh, how generous. Your grandparents will be very happy.
Dick: Please stop doing this.
Bruce: Ha, no.
——
Jason: What the fuck?! Get this shit off me!
Bruce: *holding a very expensive scarf with the tag still on for some foreign brand* Jason, don’t be so rude. Your grandmother made this for you!
Jason: Bruce, you and I both know-
Bruce: Fine, fine… go outside and freeze. *starts walking to the graveyard in the backyard* I’ll just have to tell your grandmother that you hate her guts
Jason: *snatches the scarf and angrily puts it on, almost strangling himself* Here! You motherfucker… *grumbling*
Bruce: See? You look cute! Let me go get a camera and take a picture to show your grandma, stay here.
——
Bruce: *dramatically, hand on his chest* Ah! You’re gonna make me and your grandfather faint!
Tim: Bruce-
Bruce: Don’t you remember that he’s a doctor? What you think he thinks about all these sleepless nights???
Tim: *exasperatedly* Hypocrite. Bruce-
Bruce: Oh woe is me! My own son! His ailing health! *turns to the empty air beside him* Dad what should we do? Was I ever this difficult?!
Tim: Fine! Fuck man, this is weird and sad! *stomps away to his bedroom*
——
Damian: *struggling to get out of Bruce’s grasp* Baba, please. This is highly inappropriate! I am basically a grown man!
Bruce: *hugging Damian tighter* I’m sorry Damian, it’s just… you have so much of my mother’s and father’s traits… seeing you brings me such joy I can’t help but hug you…
Damian: *stops struggling, blushing in embarrassment* … Well, I suppose I can allow this… hugging ritual
Bruce: *hiding a grin* Thank you Damian, you’re so kind