Curate, connect, and discover
Okay, I don’t quite like how this turned out. But, since I lost the momentum of Korrasami Week, I forced myself to write this one and post it. So, here it is. Enjoy :)
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Prompt: future
Dear Asami,
I am flattered you wrote to me about this. What it feels like, loving an Avatar. How to be true to someone who will always put the world first. I shall do my best in aiding you.
The first thing I wish to write is this: you are entitled to ignore everything I say in this letter.
Life taught me that all lovers are inventors when they build a relationship, made of words, sighs, memories, touches. Every person is different, inherently so. It cannot be true that my love for Aang will be the same as yours for Korra.
Despite this, I can understand your concerns. I promise I will do my best to meet them.
I believe it was fundamental to me to learn to love both Aang and the Avatar as the same person. This probably sounds confusing, so let me try to explain.
When I met Aang for the first time, frozen in that iceberg, I saw the Avatar. Not Aang, but the Avatar. It was a difficult truth to admit, one I recognized only many years later. The girl in me was fascinated by him, possibly starstruck. I was thrilled of being the one who had found him after a hundred years. I was sure he would save us all from the Fire Nation.
But he was just a child.
I was a child.
I had to grow a lot before even entertaining the idea of a relationship with him. We both had to. That first journey to master the different bendings had been a starting point for us, for our relationship. A start.
After those first days, the Avatar became Aang. And I started seeing Aang first, then the Avatar.
You might believe that to be the correct way to love an Avatar. It is not. Seeing first Aang - or Korra - and then the Avatar means denying an important aspect of their being, of their essence. You might see this in the simplest things, like spending an anniversary together or going on vacation. Other times it's rather unpleasant, like being separated for months and years to build a new city while you have to raise your children alone.
Asami, Korra is everybody's person. She has to be, because the world will always need her. They keep asking and digging for resources and answers and demands. I saw this with my Aang and now I see the same reflected in Korra.
But, my dear Asami, if Korra is everybody's person, who's gonna be hers? Everybody needs a person.
And, if I still know Korra, she'll argue about her being enough for herself. Don't listen to her and instead, make her listen to you. She's strong and stubborn, our girl, and even though she grew so much in these past few years, she will need someone to stand beside her.
You have to be Korra's rock, so she can be everybody else's rock.
There's a reason why both Aang and Korra surrounded themselves with loyal friends, team Avatar.
But I am sure you are already aware of all of that, or else you wouldn't have kept writing all those letters even without reply. Or offered to come and visit the South Pole during Korra's recovery.
Or stand back when she asked to do all of this alone.
Don't be surprised if I know of these events, Asami. This old waterbender still has a couple of tricks up her sleeves to keep track of her family.
Now, I won't lie and say things were always perfect between me and Aang.
We had our fair share of arguments, believe me. Communication is key, as it should be in all relationships, but I believe this is mostly true in our special case. I still cherish the memories of me and Aang talking at the end of the day, about everything and nothing, surrounded only by stars.
That is the reason, Asami, why I believe you are deeply wrong when you write that you feel you have to withheld your problems and thoughts from Korra for fear of burdening her. I know it might sound tempting to bottle everything up, shielding behind the weak reasoning of 'She is the Avatar. She has so many other things going on with the rest of the world, how could my issues compare to hers? Be of any importance?'
You're not the first to think along those lines.
Only because you have to be Korra's rock so she can be the best Avatar, it doesn't mean your feelings matter less. Despite having many people asking for her attention, you'll be the first one Korra wishes to spend time with, the one she confides into. Equally, you have to trust her with your feelings.
This is what means loving Korra as both Korra and the Avatar.
By not confiding your thoughts, you are creating a disequilibrium in your relationship. Simply because you aren't treating her as equal to you. Even though your intentions might come from good, Korra is your partner and you have to trust she'll be with you for every step of your journey. She can and wants to deal with your problems, as petty as they seem.
I learned this after a particular harsh fight with Aang, not too long after Kya's birth.
I was tired of feeling alone, especially in Aang's disappointment. He wished to have a child who could airbend like him, but Kya revealed to be a strong bright eyed waterbender from a young age. And while Aang didn't love her or Bumi any less, his desire for a new Air Nation was almost too strong, sometimes. There was a part of him that couldn't help but feel disappointed. Not because of me, nor for the children, but mostly himself.
It all comes down to legacy, in a sense.
Aang wished to rebuild the Air Nation. Korra lost her connection to all her previous lives and the next Avatar will have only her to rely to.
They are two different events, but connected nonetheless. Being the only bearer of a whole world feels overwhelming.
Both cannot be obtained by living alone, though. I believe I have some merits in restoring the Air Nation: I helped Aang with all of myself, after all. (Do not think of me as vain when I write this, Asami, because I have reached an age where I can say everything I believe, without caring about social norms. I may have picked up a couple of things from Toph in all these years.)
Similarly, Korra will need help. Sadly, my old bones do not quite agree with modern technology, but I am sure a brilliant mind loke yours can find a way to maintain Korra's memories and feelings alive, beside the spiritual plane. After all, and I know Korra herself is worried, nobody really knows what happened with Raava and if Korra will be able to talk with her future lives.
You are the future, Asami. Alongside with Korra and the rest of your friends.
And I am sure the world couldn't be in better hands.
With love, and say hi to Korra for me,
Katara