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Tony and his bots!!! But the oil in smoothie thing sparked an idea for me. Tony bring practically impervious to pranks by the team bc of his bots. Clint can't just drop hot sauce in Tony's coffee bc not only do the boys do that so often that he just fuckkn drinks it but he's gotten worse from them as well. 1/2
2/2 Nat has to put some more effort into just jumping tony to scare him bc he’s always dodging swinging arms and fire extinguishers. Loud noises and tripping him don’t work easy bc of the state of his workshop. I do stand by the fact that Jarvis can make a fool out of him with anything tho
I LOVE THIS IDEA!!!!
The point is JARVIS doesn’t want to. Especially not in the beginning, where the Avengers are still strangers, still can’t be trusted with Sir’s well-being. He doesn’t give anyone ammunition lightly, and after Stane and Fury have both managed to disable him, well. JARVIS may not remember those incidents but it’s not like he forgets they happened.
So fairly soon the Avengers are convinced Tony is immune to pranks. It’s almost terrifying how easily he avoids them. Especially when you consider that word class spies and enhanced humans are at work here and Stark never even got any formal training.
(They don’t realise that JARVIS considers their pranks a threat to Tony and either disables them or informs Sir until Tony specifically tells him it’s fine. Even then potential triggers and threats to Sir’s health are still blacklisted by JARVIS. The AI takes his creator’s safety very serious. One of them has to after all)
And even after JARVIS eventually eases up on his safety protocols, it’s still no fun to prank Tony (as Clint will whine constantly. For, well, who am I kidding, the rest of their lives. Or however long it takes for Natasha to snap and kill him.) The worst part isn’t that Tony doesn’t fall victim to the occasional trap, it’s that he doesn’t even notice he’s being pranked.
Thanks to his bots’ antics, he’s used to weird tasting food and drinks (JARVIS will warn him if it’s poisonous), stumbling over odd things in his way, being drenched in questionable liquids, and so on.
Long story short, Tony doesn’t understand why but for some reason Barton holds a very strong grudge against his bots?
(DUM-E and BUTTERFINGERS eventually launch a prank war against Clint. U seeks cover in the workshop. The rest of the tower lies in figurative ashes after three days. There are many causalities, up and including Natasha’s favourite pair of shoes (they’ve got blades hidden inside the heels), Steve’s least hated suit, Bruce’s entire lab (that was an accident), the Hulk’s favourite blanket (that one wasn’t an accident but is greatly regretted by everyone) and Thor’s entire wardrobe (the clothes he was wearing at the time very much included). Oh, and Clint.
Tony doesn’t even notice.
(Except that one time Steve had bright blue hair for a week, but that gave him an idea for a new camouflage suit and well, nobody has seen the genius in question since.)
JARVIS takes up the job of scolding DUM-E and BUTTERFINGERS for starting the war. He then promptly launches a counter-attack on their behalf.)
Requested by @loki-isnt-so-lucky! Kind of tempted to make this a series, so feel free to request any other characters you’d like me to write about!
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• Anyways Tony is kind of the textbook definition of what A Man™️ should be, and with all the toxcitity of Howard (at first) too, and it’s not really for a happy reason
• It’s ‘cause Howard never truly accepted Tony’s identity, ever, and told him he could never be a man in his eyes. Would never get a girl or be an engineer or be able to casually sleep around or do any of those Macho Man things that Howard Stark held up as the golden traits of being a man
• Part of the reason he loved his mother so dearly was because she was the only one who listened to him and tried to help him. But she was always overshadowed by Howard.
• So Tony spent his entire life trying to prove himself to his father, and ended up developing a lot of traits he hated because of it. But… that’s what it took to be a man, right? Right…?
• As soon as his parents were out of his life he started rapidly transitioning. It maybe wasn’t the best way to cope with the pain of losing his family, but… he felt like he was falling apart, and transitioning kept him moving forwards and kept him going. Light at the end of the tunnel kinda thing.
• It wasn’t until the arc reactor and getting kidnapped and Pepper that he cane to his senses. That wasn’t what it meant to be a man. Tony Stark had a heart, and courage, and kindness and love and caring, and he was still valid in his identity. He didn’t have to be uncaring and stoic and snarky. That wasn’t right OR healthy.
• It still takes him a while to unlearn that. Therapy helps. Being a better dad to Peter helps.
• On that subject, he never thought he’d get to be a dad! But now he has lil trans Peter to look after and it’s a little terrifying and he’s clueless but… he’s a dad. Not a mom. Someone’s father. A father to another son struggling with identity. But a better one than Howard.
• Trying to fit the macho man stereotype for so long meant he was blind to his bisexuality for a good chunk of his life. But now boys are… really hot and Pepper is laughing at him and shUT UP PEPPER LOOK AT HIS ASS—
• Pepper knows everything, and supports him through it all. The rest of the Avengers know to varying degrees. Loki knows full on. Loki silently admires him for it.
• When he first opened up to Steve about it the man was, as someone from the World War era might be, a little surprised and confused. But after coming to an understanding he (very gently) offered to help research and synthesize a milder form of the supersoldier formula that transformed him, or even to use samples from his own body, “if it might help you, Tony”. Tony didn’t take him up on the offer— testosterone was a hell of a thing on its own— but he threw Steve into a hug and they were close ever since then.
• His superhero name went through a lot of iterations, but it felt nice to have “man” in the title somewhere, even if it seemed petty or insignifigant to someone else. It made him feel way more confident in the hero role if he could announce himself as the Iron Man. It still makes him smile a little.
• Height dysphoria.
• Thor, sensing this, tries an innocent attempt to comfort Tony and ends up buying him high heeled boots.
• The whole team places bets on how hard Tony’s gonna throw them at Thor’s head, but he surprises them all by graceously thanking Thor and clicking off down the hall in them. No one’s allowed to talk about the heels.
• Tony very much likes to pretend he doesn’t know jack shit about feminine stuff, but was was kind of forceably raised female by Howard especially, so. He slips up. Especially when something is irritating him.
• “Wait, that’s the wrong order! You have to do eyeshadow before foundation.”
“Tony, I think I know what I’m doing.”
“If you do foundation first, your eyeshadow fallout is gonna get all over your nice powdered cheeks.”
“…you have a point, I guess.”
“Unfortunately.”
• You can bet a big chunk of his charity money goes to trans organizations and shelters. He’s like the trans tooth fairy, too. Oh, you need top surgery? Bam, paid for. Srs? Here’s a check, have a good hospital stay.
• He likes to work with Bruce on prototype treatments and whatnot, and Bruce has to reign him in from becoming a total mad scientist
• “Bruce what if I inject myself with 9000 GRAMS OF PURE MASCULINE—“
“Tony, no, you’d explode—“
“BUT—“
“Tony, you’re perfect just like that, you don’t need to perform experimental treatments on yourself!”
“But—“
“Tony you have more abs than I ever will please stop”