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It was only recently that I truly understood the power and significance of offerings
In the past, I had tried deity worship. I made offerings that felt accepted but never in return for anything, it was just an act of servitude. It didn't feel right to ask for things. For the longest time, I was alone. I felt lonely, and part of my dabbling in deity practices was an attempt to reach out to someone, to something, to feel less alone, to feel like someone is out there watching over me, caring about me, taking care of me. I felt like a little girl with noone to hold her close and lift the burden on her heart, noone to make her feel light again
Later on, I moved on to other things. It just wasn't a good fit. Ideologies and beliefs shifted and the deity I would turn to when things got hard was the night sky. Tear filled eyes looking up to the stars and pouring my heart out over whatever was hurting me. Funnily enough, I ended up getting what I asked for during those sessions and I chalked it up to my tears being the offering, the energy I released during those moments, an equal exchange as all things are. Still, the night sky wasn't what I was looking for, though it gave me comfort at times
Recently I was in the hospital visiting someone. One of the doctors approached me and asked me for a favor because none of the staff could leave the room due to an emergency. They were out of a sort of bandages and she needed me to go get some from a nearby pharmacy. She showed me the empty pack to know what to get and money to buy it
I paid for it myself and returned the money. They tried to argue but I refused. They've done so much for me, it was the very least I could do. It was nothing, a natural course of action
And yet, walking out of the gates it felt like I paid off a debt, something shifted and I felt like an exchange had been made
An offering accepted.
I pray I am right.
My mind started racing, so many possibilities opened up yet the paths leading to them are still unclear. What do I offer? Who do I offer it to? The universe? The night sky? A familiar?