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“This person has harmed me in unbelievable and unforgivable ways” and “this person has experienced unbelievable and unforgivable harm from others” are not mutually exclusive. A lot of times the people who abused you were abused themselves. That’s an explanation, but it’s not an excuse. Don’t let people get away with shit just because shit happened to them. And don’t let the shit they do to you influence you to do shit like that to other people.
Break the cycle, babes. But remember you can only do that if you acknowledge it exists.