Curate, connect, and discover
you, my friend, are so right.
they would almost DEFINITELY smooch.
kinda just imagining them now as these non human beings have a relationship that just kinda is; they never made anything official or 'ended' things, they vibed.
they both make sure that when bruce is grounded, he is GROUNDED. if he somehow manages to get past alfred, gotham would make sure all his masks were missing (or something small like that, annoying but causes delays for bruce.)
they're more lenient to the kids (cause grandparent behavior fjdkd)
i'm pretty sure there are similar hc to this but the headcanon i have about mr alfred pennyworth -one that you can pry from my dead cold hands- is that he's some kind of eldritch creature that took interest in humanity a few centuries ago and decided to become part of human society.
he was intrigued and fascinated by them so he chose to live among them, as one of them. he doesn't wish to alter anything majorly; yeah he's been part of wars and whatnot, but he mainly enjoys watching and observing how humanity grows all on their own.
alfred pennyworth was not his first name, but it's the one he's come to cherish the most because of the memories that come attached.
the batclan know yet not know. they CHOOSE not to know. cause alfred is alfred.
there have been huge uncanny valley-esque moments, but it's wtv cause alfred. is. alfred.
like when the lights always flicker when alfred is immensely displeased with someone. or how alfred always seems to understand the message, no matter how vague, or even non-verbal, you are about it. or how alfred always seems fine no matter how many years have passed. or how strong and able bodied he seems to be. or how he's always there, just when you need assistance. or how he knows where everyone is at any time. or how you would think he'd be a bit forgetful in his old age, but the man remembers every tiny detail, from things like mentioning you liked art to things like what color were the socks he laid out for one of his charges. or how even the gotham rogues know to steer clear of that butler because last time one of them tried, well, they haven't spoken on the subject but arkham staff say that they have been quiet ever since, only occasionally scream for no apparent reason when left alone for too long.
alfred is alfred, any bat would say. and that's what it is, really. alfred is alfred.
extra: when you go to the museum, you can see small little depictions of him in old paintings and even writings about a creature who took to mankind and made it its mission to nurture and care those who were down on their luck and help them achieve a higher purpose. alfred was there for many others before the batclan but he will admit that the batclan is so far who he has become fondest of.