Curate, connect, and discover
Hey, I had this giant list of Welcome Home as Incorrect quotes (I made it cause I was bored) and thought it would be funny to share some with the internet:
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Eddie: My hands are cold.
Frank: Here, let me hold them.
Eddie: My lips are cold too.
Frank: *covers Eddie's mouth with their hand*
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Frank: Julie gets offended by everything.
Julie: What did you say about me?!?
Frank:
Frank: Case in point.
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Barnaby: I know this isn’t going to end well and I don’t care. So don’t you try and stop me, Wally!
Wally: I wasn’t stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.
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*the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups*
Frank, Eddie, and Poppy: *spinning a little and talking*
Barnaby, Wally, and Julie: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*
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Howdy: Wally, you’re such a genius!
Wally: Yes, I know.
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Wally: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?
Frank: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.
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*At a dinner party, the guests converse while the host is away*
Poppy: So how do you know the host?
Julie: They were a former vegan, and they bought milk.
Frank: That B****!
Barnaby: I pulled them over for money laundering.
Sally: I'm chaperoning their dinner party.
Howdy: They stole a baconator!
Frank: That B****!
Poppy: I tanked the store they were managing and they convinced me to quit from one of the only jobs I've ever had. Now I'm living off of unemployment checks and fear!
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Barnaby: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.
Barnaby: Ask me to kill for you.
Eddie: ...First of all, calm down-
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Julie, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.
Eddie: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.
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Howdy: Hey Sally, listen, corporate makes us do this every year, but this is just a little manager evaluation form. You just fill it out, let them know how I'm doing, you know?
Sally: Alright! Uh, "Is your manager manipulative?"
Howdy: I'd say "No" to that if I were you.
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Howdy: Barnaby, I am questioning your sanity...
Frank: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.
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Barnaby: *coughs blood*
Wally: Don't die, Barnaby!
Barnaby: Don't tell me what to do!
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Barnaby: Why did you kidnap Wally!?!?!
Howdy: Ah- um- well- the reason for that is, uhh...
Frank: Sometimes, we must work together towards a common goal.
Barnaby: NOT TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!
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Frank: Heyyy Eddie, how’s your… drink??
Eddie: What do you mean drink? It’s coffee.
Frank: You sure?? *Looks to coffee maker*
Eddie: *Looks to coffee maker*
*Cement sitting beside the coffee maker*
Eddie:...I’m on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead.
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Frank, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Sally: Gray.
Howdy: Grey.
Frank, turning to Barnaby: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Barnaby: Dark white.
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Howdy: I just found out from Eddie today that when Barnaby died and the service did the 21-gun salute at their funeral, Julie said, “They should aim at the coffin to be sure.”
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Barnaby: Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.
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Wally: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Barnaby: A doll.
Julie: A cinnamon roll.
Eddie: A sweetheart.
Wally:
Wally: ...stop it.
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Poppy: Frank won’t come out of their room!
Sally: Just tell them I said something.
Poppy: Like what?
Sally: Anything factually incorrect.
Poppy, shrugging: If you say so.
Frank, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?
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Wally: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward.
Barnaby: I’m worried about you.
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Wally: As your best friend—
Viewer: [Insert Name] is my best friend.
Wally, holding a knife: As your best friend—
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Julie: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail.
Barnaby: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call the police station.
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Wally: Hey guys! I drew everyones soul!
Howdy: Why is Julie's a monster?
Julie: Wally, you forgot your's! It's only an empty space!
Wally, proudly: Exactly
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Wally: Why am I the bad guy?
Frank: I don't know, why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.
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Wally: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.
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Hope everyone enjoyed it. Maybe I'll make another one if I'm feeling like it. Like I said, I have a whole list, so I'm sure I'll be set for a little while.