You Don’t Want To Know - Blog Posts

Ghosts can take the form of large fuzzy animals. One lived at Merlin’s for a while.

Galahad has mugged a senior citizen.

King Alastrann of India might technically have usurped the post from a dog whose parents were previously human and his brothers.

Ector de Maris has hooked up with everyone in Morgan le Fay’s friend group (separately) at least once.

Once, Tristan killed a dragon, stuck its tongue down his pants, and was severely burned.

A war involving Arthur’s warriors destroyed a third of Ireland.

Gawain became the Emperor of China.

Arthur is in fact king of the entire world.

Lancelot got married four times, once while still married (he ended up going back to his third wife and they died old and happy).

When Lancelot first met Gawain, he mistook Gawain for God.

A few things which are “canon” somewhere for people who are worried they’re stretching it too far

Arthur was killed by a giant cat. 

Arthur killed the cat.

Arthur didn’t fight the cat. Kay did.

Kay and Bedivere use salmon as taxis. 

Lucan is half giant, half lion. (This Lucan, Lucano in the original Italian, is evil and not related to Bedivere). 

King Arthur raided the land of the dead.

The human knight Caradoc Briefbras has three half siblings: a dog, a horse, and a pig.

A large portion of Arthur’s troops was killed a while before Camlann by his nephew’s attack ravens in self-defense. Arthur and said nephew were playing chess at the time and neither did much to stop it.

Merlin retired peacefully and went to live in the countryside with Taliesin.

Wherever Arthur walks, plants die. They don’t grow back for years.

Arthur had a spunky (half?) brother who died in battle after making a mysterious oath.

Dagonet is more or less able to run the kingdom when Arthur is gone. His biggest error is overspending on mercenaries.

Guinevere has an evil almost identical twin half-sister.

Hector beat up all the best knights except for Galahad while possessed by a demon.

Gawain plays tennis.

Gawain has used a chessboard as a weapon.

Near the start of his reign, Arthur left Lot in charge of the kingdom and went on a quest with a sassy parrot.

Gawain or Galahad succeeded Arthur as king.