Story #55 Is A One-shot #2 Written At The X-Files Writer's Workshop In 15 Minutes.

Story #52, In the Silence of the Night 1/2

This is The X-Files fanfiction. Read it on AO3

A light tap on the door pulls her out of her slumber. The TV is still on and Mulder is sleeping peacefully across from her on her little striped couch. Her bare feet are juxtaposed with Mulder's head, and his sock ones are dangling over the arm of the couch near her face. A silly thought  - they look way too cozy with one another as if they are spouses, siblings, anyone but merely work partners – comes and goes. It reminds her of her childhood and how she used to make a beeline in the middle of the night to her parents’ bed only to find Melissa and Charlie had already been there. There wasn’t enough room for all the Scully kids, and mornings would often find Dana with her face somewhere around her sister’s feet, with her mother’s hand in her hair. Ironically enough, Bill would never join them.

When Scully frees herself off the pile of limbs and cushions to open the door, Maggie Scully greets her with a smile so bright that Dana squints at her, like the sun is shining straight at her face.

“I brought you something,” Maggie says, letting herself in and heading to the kitchen. “We need to stock up your fridge properly. Can’t let you live on anything but nice home meals.” While you are still recovering from cancer, the end of the sentence implies, but neither of them brings that up. Dana’s remission is nothing short of a miracle - still so new and fragile, and both fear to dig too deep into it, lest any careless stir can reverse it.

She joins her mother at the counter, her eyes flicking back and forth following Maggie’s hand diving into what looks like a dimensionless shopping bag, as she pulls out one Tupperware container after another.

“That’s a lot of food, Mom. Are we throwing a party to feed an entire floor?”

“Oh, dear, wasn’t it Fox I’ve just seen dozing off in the living room?”

Maggie asks in that deep mellifluous voice Dana always finds solace in, and immediately her face goes scarlet matching her flaming hair that, if one looks any closer, is quite mussed, creating the perfect ensemble with her smudged mascara and wrinkled blouse. Scully doesn’t lift her eyes off the counter to meet her mother’s half-joking but penetrating gaze. Instead, she occupies her hands with cups and tea bags.

“Well, I can’t imagine him not hanging around here with you all weekend. He’ll help you empty the fridge.” Her mother continues nonchalantly. “You hungry?”

“Not really. Mulder ordered a pizza earlier and made sure I ate at least half of it. I thought I was going to burst. Just some tea for me.”

As they finally settle at the table, Maggie reaches out to her daughter’s hand and gives her a gentle squeeze.

“How are you, Dana?”

"As strange as it sounds, I feel alive.” With delicate fingers, she grazes the golden rim of her snow-white porcelain cup.

“I feel good, Mom. To be honest, right now I have more time than I know what to do with, but as soon as Mulder lets me come back to work, I’ll make good use of that.” To a stranger, her words may sound a bit harsh as if she’s displeased with her partner’s over-protective behavior, but her mother knows better. Behind the façade of the feigned sternness, Maggie recognizes the notes of playfulness.

She can’t seem to avert her eyes from her daughter’s elegant hands, still deadly pale, with thin bluish veins running across her soft skin. For a long time, they just sit there, across from one another, sipping their tea and soaking up the comfort they find in each other. Mulder is still sleeping peacefully just across the wall, covered up with a blanket lovingly.

“You know, Dana, I didn’t believe we’d have you back.”

“Mom…”

“No, I need to let it out. After you told me that your cancer metastasized and spread to your blood flow… I didn’t see how we could have you back.”

“Neither did I, Mom.”

“You are a scientist in our family, Dana.  I could see it in your eyes – the moment you gave up. That was how I knew - there wasn’t anything left to be done for you.” Maggie draws in a breath and braces herself to continue.

“Fox wouldn’t give up, though.” Her voice is quiet, careful and measured, mindful of the aforementioned partner sleeping just a few feet away.

Subconsciously, Scully turns to the living room, the corners of her lips tug up slightly.

“He wouldn’t let you go. I believed then he was ready to follow you. It was like the first time.”

“The first time?”

“When you were abducted.”

“Mom, it’s over.”

“My faith left me, Dana.” There are tears in her mother’s eyes, and Dana reaches out to pull her in a tight hug. Her strong brave mother, who, by some absurd coincidence, is doomed to outlive her beloved husband and a few of her own children. Her beautiful mother, whose faith and courage have been tested repeatedly. There’s only so much one can take.

“I don’t know how, Dana, but somewhere along the way, I lost my faith. When you were abducted, I didn’t believe you would be returned to us. And then you had, and I didn't believe you would make it. We went as far as to turn you off the life support because that was what you had stated in your will. We stayed with you to say goodbye. Fox was there too, Missy wouldn’t let him off the hook.”

“Missy?”

Maggie smiles sadly at her daughter.

“Yes. Fox wouldn’t come to join us. He thought it was wrong, that we had to fight for you. Unlike us, he still believed you could make it. I think Missy found the right words for him because, in the end, Fox was there for you. He didn’t come to say goodbye though. He came because he still had hope. If it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t be sitting here with you now.”

“Mulder is a dark wizard.”

“You didn’t see him then, Dana. It was like all of a sudden, his whole world fell apart. Then one day you turned up in a hospital and nobody knew anything, nobody was able to say what was wrong with you, and Fox just,” Maggie’s voice hitches and she takes another sip before she continues. “He just ran amok. Fox was devastated and dying along with you, but I didn’t think he’d have followed you. Not back then. He would have set on a journey to find everyone responsible for what had been done to you.”

Dana chooses not to interrupt, sensing her mother’s need to vent it all out.

“This time though, he would absolutely have. I’m terrified at the thought of having been so dangerously close to burying not just one, but the two of you. He was aching for you. He still does. Maybe you should let him in.”

Maggy departs, somehow leaving Scully both totally in disarray and maddeningly calm. She hadn’t the faintest what Mulder went through during her abduction. She could get some bits and pieces - from her family, case reports (her own file stored right there in one of the drawers), and occasional worried glances from Skinner. Allusions galore, but never anything specific.

While she tried to find a workaround for her trauma, Mulder was learning (by trial and error, no less!) to deal with his guilt complex – about being the reason for her abduction, about not getting to her on time, about failing time and again. Those were feeble attempts on both their sides and eventually, by unspoken agreement, they decided to ignore the matter entirely. As if it had never existed. It was easier that way. It was safer.

Even in his sleep, Mulder looks tired. Like he hasn’t been sleeping for days on end, that is likely to be true - he probably hasn’t been sleeping since she was diagnosed and the tumor started growing, spreading its treacherous cells and filling her mind with uneasy thoughts. She cannot bring herself to stop contemplating whether his thick brown hair turned silver on the temples because of her. She doesn’t remember him having any gray hairs before. And that signature frown line between his brows seems to have deepened and now is defined sharply. She wants to reach out and smooth that wrinkle away from his beautiful face.

Of its own volition, her hand cups his stubbly cheek, and her thumb traces the plump bottom lip. She can’t remember when they stopped being just partners and became friends. Probably somewhere around day one. She can’t remember when she stopped wanting him to be just her friend and become her lover. Probably somewhere around year one.

Lifting his head gently off the pillow, she squeezes herself in between it and the armrest, so now his upper body rests on her lap. His long legs are bent at his knees and tucked into the cushions and Scully’s bare feet are perched on the coffee table next to the empty box of pizza and she’s stroking his hair languidly.  She pulls on an invisible thread and then tucks her cool hand under the neck of his t-shirt. Mulder’s skin is soft and hot under her touch, and as she caresses the expanse of his upper back, Mulder turns his head and sighs contentedly into her stomach.

“Hey,” he mumbles. His eyes are still closed and he shifts even closer and presses Scully deeper into the cushions all the while lifting her shirt with his nose and burrowing it deep in her belly button. She makes a sound, something between a moan and a chuckle.

“It tickles.”

She doesn’t attempt to stop him, though. Puffs of warm air breeze across her skin and trails of chaste, almost imponderable kisses send tingles down her spine.

Lay the blame on her being drunk with his closeness. Lay the blame on him being under the spell of sleep.

The last remnant of doubt vanishes when Mulder’s weightless dry touches turn into bold open-mouthed kisses. She wants to be closer to him. So close that she doesn’t know where she ends, and he starts. Mulder is the only man she can ever imagine herself with, and tonight he has her undivided attention.

There’s no way to resist an uncontrollable impulse to kiss her partner. They are magnetically drawn to one another. Having Mulder by her side has become second nature to her. He’s the oxygen she can’t live without. He seeps into her skin and permeates her thoughts.

She doesn't have delusions of ever having a normal family with him, where they both do their fair share of prosaic daily routines. There’s no house with a white picket fence in that equation - Mulder offers her the basement with overfilled file cabinets and dusty shelves.  Over the years she has come to appreciate everything he gives her - Fox Mulder is the constant exercise to her brain, her guide and mentor, her best friend and platonic lover. He's the butterflies in her stomach and goosebumps over her skin.

Sometimes it feels like too much, and she wants to rip him off like the band-aid and expose herself to the world outside Mulder’s suffocating presence. That she did a couple of times before, only to realize that she had lost sight of herself not because of him, but without him. The air Mulder doesn’t breathe with her chokes her, and when the need to fill her lungs with Eau de Fox Mulder becomes unbearable, she calls his number. “Mulder, it’s me.”

“What are we doing, Scully.” He stops and lifts on one elbow, his face is level with her chest.

“We are… celebrating?” She asks unsure, one hand still tangled in his silky waves.

“Celebrating what?”

Everything and nothing in particular, she wants to say. Every day is a holiday now since we are alive. And so she says it.

“That I want to celebrate.” Mulder agrees.

“I think we deserve it."

Her eyes roam his handsome face, delicate fingers stroke the rough shadow of his jaw.

“I want it.”

Story #23 which is another CPE Review.

The prompt: A literary magazine has invited readers to submit reviews of non-fiction books. You decide to submit a review of a book that has influenced you greatly. Your review should briefly describe the book, explain what aspects of your life have changed after reading it, and assess the importance of non-fiction literature.

Whether you are a devoted vegetarian, want to embrace a meat-free day a week, or just look for new flavor combinations, Jamie Oliver’s “VEG” cookbook fits the bill. Inventive and varied, albeit pure and simple veg recipes, will bring vibrant phenomenal dishes onto your dinner table. Oliver’s collection of craveable recipes, full of gorgeous photos, will get you salivating and eager to jump on cooking right away. 

Having an impressive range of dishes from all over the globe will not only excite your taste buds but also widen your recipe repertoire. There’s hardly a dish that doesn’t taste utterly delicious. Oliver’s cookery book is packed full of nutrient-rich and healthy meals. Each recipe is followed by the nutritional breakdown beneath, and the paragraphs are organized in an “easy to follow cooking directions” way. 

At first, I was certain that such food would never float my boat. I couldn’t be more in the wrong! The book inspired me to be braver and bolder in my own kitchen and prompted me to make a concerted move to up my veg intake. It came at the perfect timing. Naturally, I turned into a voracious veg eater in the blink of an eye without any great efforts and complicated schemes! Should I mention the apparent positive effects it had on my body and overall health? 

If you dare to look at a simple cookery book from another refreshing perspective, you’ll see that it is all about facts rather than just a list of ingredients and instructions. Facts, structured and organized, so this book could be your quick solution manual, a source of inspiration, or an answer to a nagging question. You name it! In a world where people hardly know what to believe anymore, they crave not far-fetched stories from someone’s figment of imagination but clear-cut and specific facts. Don’t skimp on facts. They’ll give you the perfect new flavor to taste. 

Story #56 is a one-shot #3 written at the X-Files writer's workshop in 15 minutes.

A “yes” was forced out of her mouth, but she couldn’t find it in her to say no. She had some good days back at school. There were old halcyon days. Some people she had hit it off right off the bat, and some people she missed. 

Didn’t she use to have a tight-knit network of friends back at school?  Where are they now? Who are they now? There were people from all walks of life. 

“What have you got here?”

“Nothing,” she said as quickly as she could, but he was already reading over her shoulder.

“Oh. Will you go?”

“Only if you join.” It wasn’t an invitation though, more like an easy way out. Of all the people she knew, Mulder would be the first one to bail out of another dull exhausting reunion.

“Gladly.”

One reddish brown arched in confusion mixed with amusement.

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.” 

A challenge in his look. Say yes, I dare you. I double-dog dare you. 

“Is it a date?”

“Could be.”

Mulder made a complete 180, picked up his jacket, and headed off, leaving her all alone and confused. It was his turn to keep her guessing.

Story #59 is a CPE essay on positive psychology.

Positivity. A shibboleth and a trend of modern society. Body positivity. Workplace positivity. All day everyday positivity. A cliché the proponents of stand tall with, encouraging people, as Samuel Beckett once said, to try again, fail again, and fail better. That said, is the happiness-first approach the only means to succeed, and is it fair to assume that not everyone is designed to be an “always over-exuberant smiley” person?

To be a happy individual and a better person for society, one should strive to reframe any negative mindset and adopt “happiness” principles, as the opposite brings feelings of stress into life. What the aforementioned concept fails to take into account, however, is that negative emotions are far from being something that should be just tolerated - these have to be examined through the lens of a more nuanced view. Stress is a natural physiological response a person not only suffers but also benefits from. Anecdotal as it sounds, stress serves as a medicine, which means that in healthy doses it facilitates achievement and contributes to a positive emotional state.

However, in some cases, it is simply impossible to maintain that “always happy” practice. There are people, known as defensive pessimists, whose broodiness and fatalism are the normal state of affairs as it is their way to think ahead and prepare themselves for challenges, hence the conclusion - what is acceptable for one is not for another. While riding on the pessimism bandwagon provides defensive pessimists with a unique tool to cope with stress, having an overly negative mindset may lead to clinical depression and anxiety.

Optimism and pessimism are two opposites, both of which are fundamental to mental development. That notwithstanding, it is natural for an average person to regard hopelessness, sorrow, and the like as something one has to avoid at all costs; thus, the popularity of the positive thinking concept will continue to increase.

(word count 316)

(I should also mention that my tutor said that wasn't an academic style intro - the very beginning:) It would be great for a review or an article, but too bold for a discursive essay!)

Story #42, CELTA weeks 5-6

These two were quite intensive, but after my second lesson, I seem to catch the flow and start enjoying the process.

Week 5.

✅Teaching practice started. Two 4-hour long sessions. Not the real practice though. Just a tiny part of it, where we designed a short “getting to know you” activity, observed our tutor and under her careful guidance planned our first lesson.

✅Another live session about phonology and pronunciation. One cool insight I took from that session: phonology is actually FUNology!

✅Assignment 2 was submitted.

✅Assignment 3 returned and resubmitted and now it's a pass.

✅3 more modules on the platform.

Week 6

Teaching for real.

✅ my first lesson was reading. No big deal (ha-ha), 16 students(😱), and your typical lead-in-prediction-pre-teach vocabulary-reading for gist-reading for details-follow-up productive skills task type of reading.

It was a blast. Seriously. The tutor gave me a few suggestions, but, all in all, she said it had been a success for the first lesson.

✅ my second lesson was grammar. The Present perfect vs the Past simple. I struggled with my timing, as the MFPA analysis took longer than I planned, and I felt like I had to give them all and everything in terms of Meaning, Form, Pronunciation, and Appropriacy. It wasn’t a failure, I got “to standard” for it, but looking back at it, I’d have changed a number of things. The most valuable advice from my Tutor was - prioritize.

✅ 3 more units on the platform

✅ started planning my assignment 1, which includes an interview with one of the students👌should be interesting!

Tomorrow I have a listening lesson. I’m well-prepared and pretty confident.

✅2/8 done. 6 more to go. 2 more with my pre-intermediate group, and then 4 more with Upper-Intermediate students.

Wish me luck ✌️🍾

In the photo, things I'm going to do right after I give my last lesson 😂

Story #25, which is another CPE article. Based on true events.

“It’s negative, no cancer markers found”, the doctor said, perusing the paper with dots and numbers which made no sense to me. I exhaled sharply, not realizing I was holding my breath. Like a prisoner awaiting execution. Like a wanderer praying for a fountain in a desert to quench his thirst. Inadvertently her words defined the happiest moment in my life. My child was healthy. I leaned against the wall feeling my legs going wobbly. Silent tears ran down my cheeks. Relief. Contentment. Delight. Joyfulness. Gratitude.

I couldn’t stop scrambling over my memories to the day when her words, so easily and sharply, shattered my world to pieces. It all started with medical advice to vaccinate a child. A one-year-old son of mine. Preliminary blood work was recommended to exclude medical conditions which might cause after-vaccination negative side effects. No big deal. We did it before dozens of times with my older kid. But that time some indicators in his blood turned out abnormally high pointing to organs where his body suddenly started failing him. Failing to cancer.

“It’s negative. It’s negative. It’s negative”, I kept echoing in my head time and again.  The walls of the fragile fortress of my mind were reconstructed back. Suffice it to say, the fact that my child was safe and sound was happiness in its pure form. That was a moment to treasure. The memory to cling to. Indeed, to catch these dear moments and keep them close to heart is worth doing.

To me, it was a major epiphany. One does not need to chase ethereal dreams and get on the top of their career to make every moment meaningful. No need to be married, get promoted at work, buy the latest Tesla to feel happy here and now. This day and age you are alive and healthy. That’s what matters.

Photo credit: me. My son Alex with his father, the best in the world husband. Mine. Mine. Mine.

Story #8 "The 5-Second Rule"

It's a CPE-based book review of "The 5-second rule" by Mel Robbins.

Prompt:

A literary magazine has invited readers to submit reviews of non-fiction books. You decide to submit a review of a book that has influenced you greatly. Your review should briefly describe the book, explain what aspects of your life have changed after reading it, and assess the importance of non-fiction literature.

What if somebody told you that you are just 5 seconds away from a totally different life? From having a better job? From being a better parent? From succeeding in business? The answers to all the questions above are explored by Mel Robbins, an Ivy League-educated criminal defense attorney, in her book “The 5-second rule”. Given that the only thing standing in your way is yourself, Robbins, with her quick wit and fiery opinion, hands over to the readers a simple way to break the habit of hesitation and set a scheme for a better life.

The essence of the five-second rule is in the so-called metacognition tool that enables one to trick the brain into things it wouldn’t normally do. Once you receive the impulse to work towards something, start counting backward, and then physically act on it. The moment you miss that five-second window, your mind shuts down, as it is designed to stop you from doing anything uncomfortable, uncontrollable, uncertain.

I wish I could say that to me, the book was nothing short of an epiphany. That I could trace back every single problem and complaint to hesitation and silence. That applying Robbin’s concept to my day-to-day life presented me with a prospect to push through excuses to procrastinate far enough to see how much more life had in store for me. Nothing supernatural happened though. Nonetheless, following the scheme given in her book, I managed to set my perfect routine to have just the right amount of time to go over my morning procedures, make breakfast, take the kids to school, and embark on a working day with a smile on the face.

Robbin’s 270-page debut is like a shiny new thing that attracts lots of attention. That notwithstanding, it is a prime example of why non-fiction books should probably slim down. They all have pages and pages of testimonials turned into riveting, albeit juvenile, and overly repetitive stories. Aside from that, they are heavily seasoned with pretentious advertisements, giving readers a feeling of being marketed to, on each page. That’s precisely why services like Blinkist can summarize such books succinctly into fifteen-minute reads. You may be tricked into thinking that you are handed over a tool to enrich your life; however, for jaded readers, it might be no more than an old pseudo-psychological trick wrapped in a new package.

Story #10

This story is my translation of the poem "The Key" by Boris Slutsky. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did while working on the translation and the video for it. Big thanks to all the people who helped make it happen.

"The Key" by Boris Slutsky

I had a room with a separate entry,

I lived all alone, single, no help.

At moments of lust, no double entendre,

I held that door open for ladies to step.

My married buddies lived with mothers-in-law,

And wives that were looking like mothers-in-law

Some overly fat, some overly skinny

But comfy like rain, though they looked pretty weary

Watching them turning another year older

Bearing more daughters and sons to behold

Wives turned into muses of travails and scolding

Symbols of sufferings kept untold

My married buddies cherished their wives,

More and more often they wanted to know

If I get married, saying ‘Idiot, jeez!

Marriage is bliss, can’t you see it, my bro?’

My married buddies resented their wives,

They yearned for ladies with unwrinkled hands,

Ladies, with eyes like wells deep enough

To fall into the abyss and never get back.

I felt repulsed by the thought (well, you know me),

But opted to mind my own business instead.

They needed a room with a separate entry

And I gave them the key from the room with a bed.

The original text:

"Ключ" Борис Слуцкий

У меня была комната с отдельным ходом,

Я был холост и жил один.

Всякий раз, как была охота,

В эту комнату знакомых водил.

Мои товарищи жили с тещами

И с женами, похожими на этих тещ, -

Слишком толстыми, слишком тощими,

Усталыми, привычными, как дождь.

Каждый год старея на год,

Рожая детей (сыновей, дочерей),

Жены становились символами тягот,

Статуями нехваток и очередей.

Мои товарищи любили жен.

Они вопрошали все чаще и чаще:

- Чего ты не женишься? Эх ты, пижон!

Что ты понимаешь в семейном счастье?

Мои товарищи не любили жен.

Им нравились девушки с молодыми руками,

С глазами, в которые, раз погружен,

Падаешь, падаешь, словно камень.

А я был брезглив (вы, конечно, помните),

Но глупых вопросов не задавал.

Я просто давал им ключ от комнаты.

Они просили, а я - давал.

Story #6, CPE Review “Paradise Lost” by John Milton

Prompt⤵️

A literary magazine has invited readers to submit reviews of classical books that seem to have been undeservedly forgotten. You decide to submit a review of a forgotten classic you liked. Your review should briefly describe the book, explain why it deserves to be remembered, and assess the importance of classical literature.

----------

"Better to reign in Hell than to serve in Heaven." There's hardly a person who'd never heard these words from the monologue delivered by Satan in John Milton's work "Paradise Lost." In his quintessential poem, epic both in scale and ambition, Milton wrote in a state of total blindness, claiming to have divine inspirations that approached him nightly.

A tragic and powerful piece whose legacy didn’t endure as firmly as one of its remarkable quotes. Beautifully and somewhat encyclopaedically, Milton explores the ideas of salvation and redemption and tells a tale of a war that rages across Hell. Outlining the portions of the Bible, he puts the story of the Fall of Man in the center of his immense drama. A fallen angel, vain and full of pride, Satan is the projection of all too human temptations that compel readers subconsciously to sympathize with him.

“Paradise Lost" is a book of questions, daunting and intense, that deserves to be remembered. As you submerge deep into philosophical matters of the nature of a human being and its purpose on Earth, you are compelled to re-conceptualize entirely your ideas of Hell, Heaven, God, and Devil. What makes it even more valuable is a chance Milton hands over to readers to analyze the evolution of the English language through his poem's lines. "Paradise Lost" allegedly gave us more than five hundred English words, such as "satanic" or "terrific," and negative forms of already existing words like "irresponsible" or "unprincipled." It also provides us with a new angle to look at the overall poetic genre. The poem doesn't rhyme; instead, Milton uses blank-verse: ten-syllable metrical lines.

The book is a classic once it withstands the test of time. Classical literature encompasses different periods of history; therefore, it enhances our comprehension of human nature and sets the basis for broader vocabulary and a profound understanding of the language, its origins, and functions. Even though most classical characters we see in the canon books might not be applicable today, the message they carry is timeless, and their merits cannot be undermined.

Story #85 is the poem "A Ballet Dancer"

Put your pointe shoes on

And get to the barre,

It’s your stage for tonight,

You’re a soloist.

Keep your balance,

Assemblé, 

Attitude derrière,

Show bravura,

S'il te plaît

You’re not made of wood.

Half turn here,

Half turn there

Right leg extended in alongé

Left foot strong

With your foot en pointe --

Hard?

Demi-pointe it’s then.

Face your audience

Return to the first position

Grand plie,

Grand jete,

Pas de chat.

It’s your stage for tonight

You’re a soloist.

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