I Am Jealous Of Those Who Think More Deeply, Who Write Better, Who Draw Better, Who Ski Better, Who Look

If you don’t have means to a therapist or mental health professional

Check out therapistaid.com. There’s worksheets there that you can download for free.

Of course it would be a lot more beneficial if you have a therapist to help you through it but not everyone has access to one.

It’s a free site where you can have free downloads of worksheets on many things.

If there’s something there that you think would be helpful, print it out and complete the worksheet on your own.

It’s hard to be accountable for yourself but at least there’s a way for you to have some insight and work on yourself.

an incomplete list of unsettling short stories I read in textbooks

the scarlet ibis

marigolds

the diamond necklace

the monkey’s paw

the open boat

the lady and the tiger

the minister’s black veil

an occurrence at owl creek bridge

a rose for emily

(I found that one by googling “short story corpse in the house,” first result)

the cask of amontillado

the yellow wallpaper

the most dangerous game

a good man is hard to find

some are well-known, some obscure, some I enjoy as an adult, all made me uncomfortable between the ages of 11-15

add your own weird shit, I wanna be literary and disturbed

Anti anxiety.

THE RUSSOS VERY CLEARLY DID NOT GIVE A SINGLE SOLITARY FÜCK ABOUT ANY CHARACTER OTHER THAN STEVE

and yet they still managed to destroy his arc and peggys

being a so-called “gifted” kid is fun bc people think your life must be extraordinary but,,,, as far as me and all the other “gifted” kids i’ve met….. its more like *ends up taking god-awful courses bc the teachers think they want to be challenged* *loses sense of childhood* *gets hated by all their peers bc of jealousy for “special treatment” that doesnt exist and better grades* *experiences extreme burnout by age 12 and stops functioning in a school setting entirely* *gets their dreams shot down because they have “too much potential” to chase after small jobs* *cries over getting a b grade* *doesn’t sleep* *gets abused as a kid by people who want to take advantage of their circumstances* *isn’t believed if they say they have a disability because “they’re too smart!”* *doesn’t sleep* *doesn’t sleep* *doesn-

Feeling heard alleviates tangled emotions for me. I often don’t need an action taken, just to feel heard, so that I can move on from the feeling.

“Just as their thought processes are complex, so are their emotions. Linda Silvennan, a prominent specialist in the field of the gifted and talented, notes: The intricate thought processes that mark these individuals as gifted are mirrored in the intricacy of their emotional development. Idealism, self-doubt, perceptiveness, excruciating sensitivity, moral imperatives, desperate needs for understanding, acceptance, love - all impinge simultaneously. Their vast emotional range make them appear contradictory: mature and immature, arrogant and compassionate, aggressive and timid. Semblances of composure and self-assurance often mask deep feelings of joy; feeling incredibly alive; and experiencing even the greatest pain [as] ecstatic and full of life (Piechowski, 1991 cited in Grant, 1995, p.133).”

— Drawing the Line: The Adjustment and Maladjustment of Gifted Children. OMG, stop talking so accurately about me! Stop the insanity! (via amarantoseverlasting)

To everybody needing it:

I’m really sorry to hear your day sucked

I’m not sure if tomorrow will be better for you, but it’ll be a reset

You’ll find the courage you need to do That Thing

You are perfectly okay. You’re doing just fine…more than just fine, even. There’s nothing wrong with you. 

Take care of yourself tonight. It’ll be okay.

Hardship often prepares an ordinary person for an extraordinary destiny.

C.S. Lewis (via logicsensi)