“Just As Their Thought Processes Are Complex, So Are Their Emotions. Linda Silvennan, A Prominent Specialist

I got my heart broken and I survived, I failed 3 courses in university and graduated, I got rejected in the very first job I applied for and got promoted yesterday, I went through hard times with my family but then two years later, we laughed our hearts out over lunch, The closest friends disappointed me several times but I made new friends and loved them with all my heart. I did it once, I can do it again.

For those not having a diagnosis.

It’s difficult to explain your obessions right? 

It’s difficult to explain why you get tired after just 2-3 hours of socializing right?

It’s difficult to explain why making decisions takes so long right?

It’s  difficult to explain your sensitivities, the noise around you, people walking by, the light, the jokes that make you feel uncomfortable?

It’s difficult to explain why your overthinking is actually just you thinking right?

It’s difficult to explain your needs and wants to your friends, or your parents saying that they shouldn’t click their pen, shake their leg, shouldn’t be too close right?

It’s difficult to explain why you can’t relax and stop obsessing analysing people right?

It’s difficult to explain your wordfinding difficulties or the reason why you’re talking too fast right?

It’s difficult estimating if you’re friends or not, if you’re friends enough to go up and talk to someone right?

It’s difficult not to obsess about something you like and then after a few months find another obsession wondering if you will ever find your calling right?

It’s difficult to explain why you feel so down and tired and keep focusing on the negatives even after a pretty good day, your obsessive mind keeps reminding you of the little details people dont even remember you doing or saying it right?

It’s difficult to be in this world where ‘’other’’ people seems to know it all, seems to have it all. Nice group of friends, amazing socialising skills where it seems so easy to come up with new stuff to talk about right?

With or without the diagnosis you know you best. it doesn’t make your problems less real with no diagnosis.

Aspec playlist

Disclaimer: these are just the ways others and myself have perceived the song. Art is all about perception so if you don’t see it that way then that’s fine!

This is home by Cavetown (aro)

I would do anything for love (but I won’t do that) by meatloaf (ace)

This is gospel by Panic! (you can interpret this as aro or aroace even though that’s not technically what the songs about)

That’s so us by Allie X (could be seen as aroace friendship)

Solo by Clean Bandit (demisexual)

Hey look ma, I made it by Panic! At the Disco (asexual)

Never been in love by Will Jay (aro and aroace)

You matter to me by Sara Bareilles (all aspec and everyone in general)

Ace of hearts by Zella Day (ace)

If our love is wrong by Callum Scott (ace)

The other by Tonight Alive (aroace, all aspec)

Wild Things by Alessia Cara (all aspec)

My song by Alessia Cara (all aspec)

Songs with no romantic or sexual meaning:

When I asked if anyone would be interested in me making this a lot of people made it clear they wanted songs that weren’t romantic or sexual so I made this extra playlist of songs that have some kind of deep meaning, a lot have to do with mental illness.

Disconnect by clean bandit and marina and the Diamonds

Better off dead by sleeping with sirens (tw: mentions of wanting death, suicidal thoughts)

Anklebiters by Paramore

Monster by Paramore

Fear and loathing by Marina and the Diamonds

Morning I’m America by Jon Bellion

Dizzy by Waterparks

How to Save a Life by The Fray

Daydreamer by Young the Giant

Don’t dream it’s over by Crowded House

I’ll be good by Jaymes Young

We’ve got soul by Chapel

I’m not calling you a liar by Florence and the Machine

Talk to me by Cavetown

Earth by Sleeping at Last

Stupid Now by Drew Monson

Waves by Tonight Alive

Not so bad in LA by Allie X

Two Time by Jack Stauber

Choirs by Ashe

We fall apart by we as human

Runaway train by soul asylum

Drift away by Dobie Gray

Stay out by Nina Nesbitt

Spirits by the strumbellas

Idaho by Nerina Pallot

December by Ambershades

Marianne by Tori Amos

In the 99 by Vienna Teng

Alone in Crowds by Uhre

Maybe Not by Cat Power

Ran and File by Moses Sumney

Stoned Soul Picnic by Laura Nyro

Isolde’s Very Insightful Views on Going To

Work and Suicide by beißpony

This Is Me by Davey La

Photograph by Satellites

If All I Was Was Black by Mavis Staples

The Girl Who Broke in Two by Paul

Freeman

Shadow Room by Craig and Paul Freeman

Hooray for Tom by Bruce Hornsby

Heroes by 100 Year War

Jimmy Choos by Rickie Lee Jones

Pet Cemetery by Joe Innes & The

Cavalcade

Medusa by Tyler Lyle

The Minnow and the Trout by A Fine Frenzy

5th Avenue Bar by Dylan LeBlanc

The Grass is Green by Nelly Furtado

Ether Halo by John MacLeod

Something Worth Voting For by DC Cardwell

We’re All Mad In Our Own Way by Natasha Bedingfield

Small Talk by Spleen

Bird set free by Sia

Unstoppable by Sia

(Note: I will be adding to this regularly, if you have any songs you want me to add then let me know)

My only moods are

High empathy

Anxious Anxious anxious!!

I AM GOD

Dissociate

The pure embodiment of rage

INFJ in a Nutshell #12

“That’s a thing?”

Chill or ticked: there is no in-between

“Lets go around the room and introduce ourselves!” *internal screaming *

Probably has a drawer full of interesting knick-knacks

Sometimes picture-shy

*phone rings * “My clock is making weird noises again…”

Knows a lot, can’t put their knowledge into words very well

Knows more people in books than in real life

“I’ve lost all faith in humanity.”

“If you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.”

—  Neil Gaiman (via quotebook-in)

I took my meds too close to bedtime again and I need you all to know the dream I had last night involved Robin Williams becoming the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Not, a character portrayed by Robin Williams, just Robin Williams as himself running around Hogwarts doing wandless magic and being as loud and big as possible because and I quote before I forget:

“Listen, children, I’m not saying all this bad shit that is happening isn’t scary and you shouldn’t be concerned–because you should!–but I’m telling you this now for free. Life is a boggart, it’s the biggest boggart of them all. You never know what it’s going to look like one moment to the next. And sometimes you just gotta laugh. It’s okay to laugh. It’s part of the grieving process. You need to grieve before you can heal. But it’s okay to laugh while you’re doing it.”

I didn’t wake up right after that, some more stuff happened in a hazy sort of way as the dream began to dissolve into conciousness, but I remember him yelling Expecto Patronum as he punched a Death Eater in the face. Because sometimes, evidently, you have to make your own happy memories.

I'd probably think I was a bitch lol

In 7 days, Marvel will prove to me whether or not they are fucking stupid enough to kill off Tony Stark when his character arc has been building towards retirement and fatherhood.

Just let him be, for fucks sake. Pepper doesn’t need a dead fiance. Rhodey and Happy don’t need a dead friend. Peter doesn’t need to lose a father-figure for the 3rd time in a row.

I still get this as a member of MENSA. If I divulge this, there’s almost an expectation that I will then burst forth with something unbelievable – I’ll pluck out L’inverno from The Four Seasons on my uvula, or bend office furniture with my mind, or recite the entire periodic table in under twenty-six seconds.