I'm Not Crying. You Are.

I find that playboy line funny bc like... aren't tony and pepper the only mcu couple that has been in a long term committed relationship? and beyond the thing with maya (which happened in a flashback), tony hasn't had any other love interests? that line would have been relevant, what, in the first 20 minutes of iron man 1? (not trying to bring up discourse or hate or anything, I just find it interesting lol)

That playboy line follows him like a shadow when it’s not even an accurate reflection of who he is, it’s one of those things when it gets stuck in the default setting of people’s mind that Tony Stark is a ‘playboy’, and it takes them effort to remember that he is not. The fact is that he’s been everything BUT a playboy in the last ten years, and seriously you can’t name one more committed, loyal and romantic man in mcu than Tony Stark, but some people would simply let that vague idea of who he is stay, based on a quippy one liner from a movie that was seven years ago (also ignoring the context of that one liner), than to let themselves see and realise that a character has changed and developed …. It’s sadly poetic he had said it himself in a deleted scene of Iron Man, when he was confessing to the two girls he was with in Dubai that he was actually not entirely comfortable with it, and proceed to say “You know how easy to get a reputation and how hard to lose it, and I’m not playing victim, I’m not complaining, it’s just something that occurred over time..”

He was the one who played up that ‘Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist’ persona after all, so of course he knew the price, that it was inevitable some people wouldn’t see through it and took everything he presented at face value. And part of him found ease in slipping behind that mask, because then people wouldn’t know he’s scared, vulnerable and insecure, and they couldn’t be disappointed with him when he offered nothing more for them to expect. In IM 2 he embraced the persona fully and acted his most obnoxious self to annoy everyone around him and push them away, because he didn’t want to admit to his friends that he was scared, that he didn’t want to die; because (an irrational) part of him was scared that even if he opened up to them they wouldn’t care, so he opted to toughen up and push them away first and avoid getting hurt later. The similar train of thoughts was happening In Avengers when he used the mask as his defensive mechanism, and it was what gave birth to that infamous one liner. He needed to act cool and nonchalant in front of all these new super people, because how could he possibly measure up to Captain America himself with his ‘laundry list of character defects.’ He was afraid of how they wouldn’t accept him as part of the team as previously Nat’s assessment of him had suggested, and judged him by his past as Steve had put it later ‘I’ve seen the footage, the only thing you really fight for is yourself.’ So at least acting like he was so self-absorbed and savvy that he didn’t care one bit of what others thought of him could protect him from letting the others know about his vulnerability and insecurity. 

The lovely thing is though, as movies progress, you see how this mask is slowly slipping away, when he said in IM3 ‘Now I’m a changed man’, he wasn’t just saying it, he really had changed. Being in a committed relationship with Pepper had helped him to realise that he could voice his fear and be vulnerable, as he found acceptance in her; being forced out of his comfort zone of three (3) friends and an AI, he developed an unlikely friendship with a kid, it opened up his guarded heart, he learned his capability to trust other people, reply on them, and that reaching out, asking for help, whether or not it was a sign of weakness, he had allowed himself it. Thus you start to see a more genuine and vulnerable Tony Stark in the presence of others way more often after IM3. In AoU he admit to the team of what he was scared of, he opened up to Fury about the vision he saw, the nightmare he dreaded. In Civil War, he opened up to Steve of his weaknesses, his flaws, and was practically begging him to stay, ‘I don’t wanna see you gone, we need you Cap’; to give him time (which tragically was what Steve didn’t have), so they can deal with the Accords together. He had allowed himself to be rejected, and still trying to reach out, ‘because it’s us.’ He cared a lot about the Avengers and he no longer tried to hide it behind the ‘Genius playboy devil may care’ facade, he may not be verbally spelling it out, but he let his fear, worries, guilt, sadness, be written all over his face. It’s peak Tony Stark being vulnerable and emotional and not bothered to hide, this side of him with all the emotional complexity is available for anyone who’s looking to see, and it’s amazing.

The relationship he developed with Peter took him to an unexplored area of emotions, it was the first time he felt strongly and personally responsible for someone else’s wellbeing. He may have learned to take better care of himself over the years, but having a kid who was already hundred times better than him and still looked up to him? It created a lot of internal conflicts in his mind. On one hand he wanted to provide the best he can for Peter (while not overstepping), the extremely thoughtful suit he built for him with an insane amount of web shooters combinations and a friendly sassy AI is one perfect example; on the other hand he was afraid that his involvement would ruin Peter’s life. His self doubt and guilt were stalling him from being open and emotional available for Peter, which, compare to the super suit, it was what Peter needed from him more. His relationship with his own father had not given him the confidence he needed when it came to something close to parenting, so he did what he always tended to do when he was feeling insecure, he put on the cool Tony StarkTM mask and tried to keep Peter at arm’s length by putting up a barrier (Happy) between them. He wasn’t mentally ready to take on the mentor/father figure role, but sentimentally, looking at all those things he did for Peter in silence, he was already caring and worrying about Peter like a parent would to their child. He just needed to learn to show it to Peter, drop the mask, be present, be vocal, because if Peter couldn’t feel it, love failed in communication and it wouldn’t be complete. And over the course of the Homecoming and IW, you really see how he had come to it, seeing how they squabbled and Peter was no longer looking up to him like he was an idol, but simply looking up to him for reassurance and comfort, it is so (tragically) beautiful and had everyone crying. 

Don’t ask me why I turn a simple line ‘Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist’ into a character analysis, it just happened, but he’s come so far and I’m so proud of him and it just goes without saying how beautiful how complex his character is and people who still misunderstand him by default, they’re missing out. 

INFJs and stress

PHOTOS OF HISTORICAL ICONIC FIGURES LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE

Elvis Presley- his interest in music started early

Angelina Jolie as a little girl with her mother

Charlie Chaplin without the iconic hat sitting with a dog

Arnold Schwarzenegger flexing for some elderly ladies.

Just a worker in a Van Nuys, California, factory in 1944 who will soon start to call herself Marilyn Monroe

Robin Williams hilariously dressed up as a cheerleader

Ernest Hemingway’s passport photo

Katherine Hepburn sitting in a bathtub after the great storm of 1938

Albert Einstein in fuzzy slippers. He’s awesome

Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris

Behind the scenes of a photo shoot with Marilyn Monroe working out in a terry cloth bikini

Brigitte Bardot and Pablo Picasso

Charlie Chaplin without make up

A 19 year old Cher

Frank Sinatra getting Lou Gerhig’s autograph

Al Pacino and Diane Keaton on the set of The Godfather

Then it’s hard to find what to do with that rolling energy.

Hey y’all, with Asexual Awareness Week coming up (Oct 21-27th this year) here are a few things to remember!

• Asexuals are part of the LGBTQ+ community

• Asexuality is real

• Aces can choose not to celebrate/participate in any way

• Aces have every right to be proud of their identity

• Aces are lgbt+ regardless of their romantic orientation.

• Aces aren’t “basically straight” or any other complaint exclusionists have

• Asexuality is an orientation just like any other as well as a spectrum

• Greysexuals, Demisexuals, Cupiosexual, etc are all valid and also have a right to celebrate this week

• Ace Men exist

• Nonbinary Aces exist

• Not every Ace is Cis

• Exclusionists/Gatekeepers/etc are not welcome here

• AroAces exist

• Ace WLW exist

• Ace MLM exist

• Ace nblnb / nblm / nblw exist

• Aces of color exist

• Disabled Aces exist

• Mentally ill Aces exist

• There are Aces of many different races/genders/ages/religions/etc

• Whether you’re an Ace still struggling with their orientation or an Ace who’s proud, or any other type of Ace, Asexual Awareness Week is for you and you’re valid regardless.

Feel free to add on!

When I was in high school, I was in the GSA club and I was taught that the A in LGBTQIA was for ally. So I was like “I guess I must be an ally” because I was drawn to the community but didn’t relate to any of the other identities. I have crushes on boys all the time but I finally realized my crushes are a bit different than most people’s. I’m like “aw, wow he’s so cute , I just want to make him smile because his smile is aesthetically pleasing and hang out with him, and maybe we could hold hands.” I never knew people actually really had sexual thoughts about other people. I heard it in songs and all sorts of media but assumed it was all exaggerations. I somehow stumbled across the term asexual and was super confused because I never thought about sexual attraction. Like, what is that?? Apparently a thing most people feel, so as I continued reading on about the ace spectrum, I was astonished there was a word for how I felt. It took me a while to use the label for myself because I never heard of the term before and I didn’t want people to think I was making it up for attention. I knew I didn’t like girls the way I liked boys, so I thought I must be straight. I tried some sexual stuff and I was semi grossed out , semi bored. That’s when I started putting everything together and I was like “there’s no way I’m not ace.”

THIS IS WHY THIS WEEK IS SO IMPORTANT. If I was aware asexuality was a real and valid sexual orientation, I wouldn’t have had to try and be heterosexual. If other people were aware of asexuality, they wouldn’t have to invalidate me when I come out to them by saying things like “You’re not a plant”, “You haven’t met the right person yet,” “You’re still so young,” etc. If I haven’t met the right person yet, that probably makes me demi sexual , first of all, because I’m 19 and have never felt sexual attraction. Second of all, isn’t it funny that you’re never too young to identify as straight?? Anyways, I no longer consider myself straight because I’m aware of my differences and I’m aware that there’s nothing wrong with that.

Food problems and autism.

PhotoCredits: AspergersReality

Hey :D can you do the crush thing on INFJ please?

Generally speaking, INFJs do not handle crushes very gracefully. The combination of Ni-Fe-Ti will often make them overthink things and inferior Se makes them blind to the realities of the situation. Mature INFJs who are more in touch with Fe/Se will trust their intuitions and, as a result, be more bold to pursue crushes even if they feel some anxiety about the outcome; they will feel confident in their own ability to deal with whatever happens. Less mature INFJs who are more aligned with Ni/Ti would probably have low self-esteem and a much stronger fear of getting hurt/rejected. They could get stuck endlessly analyzing or obsessing about the “truth” of the situation, never reaching any conclusion because there are simply too many unknowns. This can leave them paralyzed and torn between the fear of missing out and the lack of confidence to take action. They might unconsciously fill the void of knowledge by idealizing the crush, only to end up incredibly disappointed when the person/situation does not match their expectations. INFJs value privacy and can tend towards secrecy because Ni has a natural inclination towards self-protection and managing consequences. Compared to other inexpressive/introverted types, INFJs generally possess a greater capacity for masking emotional turmoil, so their “poker face” is often impenetrable; Fe prevents them from disturbing the status quo and they can utilize Ti to harden or detach themselves. This makes it easy for them to hide their true feelings and suffer alone in silence. As a result, it is not unusual for INFJs to miss the opportunity to start a new relationship because, by the time they feel prepared enough to take action, the other person is already beyond reach.

From the other person’s perspective: Mature INFJs will send out more obvious signals, but less mature ones can be extremely subtle because they need to proceed as slowly as possible in order to manage any anxiety. They will find opportunities to be near you or chat with you. The more anxious ones will investigate you from a distance or through mutual friends. They will want to know all about you, your family, your past, your future goals, your inner most thoughts, etc. They will try and take advantage of every chance to know you more deeply without being too obvious. However, it is important to note that people often feel drawn to INFJs because they are generally helpful people and very good listeners who can carry on quite lengthy conversations without ever sharing anything about themselves. Thus, it would be important to make sure that their interest in you is for personal reasons and not motivated by a selfless desire to help you out with some problem/issue. Generally speaking, INFJs are not so outgoing as to want to know everything about everyone, so if they take a keen interest in you for reasons that are not entirely obvious, it is usually a good sign. Mature INFJs generally appreciate honesty and the courage to be vulnerable, so you should probably just be direct with them if you are unsure about how they feel. No matter how they feel, they will likely discuss and process all your feelings with you until both parties feel a sense of closure. However, less mature INFJs can be defensive, oversensitive, and easily overwhelmed, so proceed with caution where they are concerned because there is a possibility that you could get door-slammed. It is probably a good idea to form a close friendship with an INFJ (by getting to know them better) before pursuing anything romantic because many of them take a serious and long term view of relationships. They want a lasting and deep connection which requires some time to build up trust and understanding, so it is usually not a good idea to try and push or rush an INFJ into anything.