Just Wanted To Say, This Is Literally One Of The Best Shows Netflix Has Right Now. But Sadly Is Barely

oh yeah don’t worry about my leg bouncing, i’m fine. that’s just a thing i do when i’m bored, or excited, or nervous, or alive

Hey :D can you do the crush thing on INFJ please?

Generally speaking, INFJs do not handle crushes very gracefully. The combination of Ni-Fe-Ti will often make them overthink things and inferior Se makes them blind to the realities of the situation. Mature INFJs who are more in touch with Fe/Se will trust their intuitions and, as a result, be more bold to pursue crushes even if they feel some anxiety about the outcome; they will feel confident in their own ability to deal with whatever happens. Less mature INFJs who are more aligned with Ni/Ti would probably have low self-esteem and a much stronger fear of getting hurt/rejected. They could get stuck endlessly analyzing or obsessing about the “truth” of the situation, never reaching any conclusion because there are simply too many unknowns. This can leave them paralyzed and torn between the fear of missing out and the lack of confidence to take action. They might unconsciously fill the void of knowledge by idealizing the crush, only to end up incredibly disappointed when the person/situation does not match their expectations. INFJs value privacy and can tend towards secrecy because Ni has a natural inclination towards self-protection and managing consequences. Compared to other inexpressive/introverted types, INFJs generally possess a greater capacity for masking emotional turmoil, so their “poker face” is often impenetrable; Fe prevents them from disturbing the status quo and they can utilize Ti to harden or detach themselves. This makes it easy for them to hide their true feelings and suffer alone in silence. As a result, it is not unusual for INFJs to miss the opportunity to start a new relationship because, by the time they feel prepared enough to take action, the other person is already beyond reach.

From the other person’s perspective: Mature INFJs will send out more obvious signals, but less mature ones can be extremely subtle because they need to proceed as slowly as possible in order to manage any anxiety. They will find opportunities to be near you or chat with you. The more anxious ones will investigate you from a distance or through mutual friends. They will want to know all about you, your family, your past, your future goals, your inner most thoughts, etc. They will try and take advantage of every chance to know you more deeply without being too obvious. However, it is important to note that people often feel drawn to INFJs because they are generally helpful people and very good listeners who can carry on quite lengthy conversations without ever sharing anything about themselves. Thus, it would be important to make sure that their interest in you is for personal reasons and not motivated by a selfless desire to help you out with some problem/issue. Generally speaking, INFJs are not so outgoing as to want to know everything about everyone, so if they take a keen interest in you for reasons that are not entirely obvious, it is usually a good sign. Mature INFJs generally appreciate honesty and the courage to be vulnerable, so you should probably just be direct with them if you are unsure about how they feel. No matter how they feel, they will likely discuss and process all your feelings with you until both parties feel a sense of closure. However, less mature INFJs can be defensive, oversensitive, and easily overwhelmed, so proceed with caution where they are concerned because there is a possibility that you could get door-slammed. It is probably a good idea to form a close friendship with an INFJ (by getting to know them better) before pursuing anything romantic because many of them take a serious and long term view of relationships. They want a lasting and deep connection which requires some time to build up trust and understanding, so it is usually not a good idea to try and push or rush an INFJ into anything.

Aspec playlist

Disclaimer: these are just the ways others and myself have perceived the song. Art is all about perception so if you don’t see it that way then that’s fine!

This is home by Cavetown (aro)

I would do anything for love (but I won’t do that) by meatloaf (ace)

This is gospel by Panic! (you can interpret this as aro or aroace even though that’s not technically what the songs about)

That’s so us by Allie X (could be seen as aroace friendship)

Solo by Clean Bandit (demisexual)

Hey look ma, I made it by Panic! At the Disco (asexual)

Never been in love by Will Jay (aro and aroace)

You matter to me by Sara Bareilles (all aspec and everyone in general)

Ace of hearts by Zella Day (ace)

If our love is wrong by Callum Scott (ace)

The other by Tonight Alive (aroace, all aspec)

Wild Things by Alessia Cara (all aspec)

My song by Alessia Cara (all aspec)

Songs with no romantic or sexual meaning:

When I asked if anyone would be interested in me making this a lot of people made it clear they wanted songs that weren’t romantic or sexual so I made this extra playlist of songs that have some kind of deep meaning, a lot have to do with mental illness.

Disconnect by clean bandit and marina and the Diamonds

Better off dead by sleeping with sirens (tw: mentions of wanting death, suicidal thoughts)

Anklebiters by Paramore

Monster by Paramore

Fear and loathing by Marina and the Diamonds

Morning I’m America by Jon Bellion

Dizzy by Waterparks

How to Save a Life by The Fray

Daydreamer by Young the Giant

Don’t dream it’s over by Crowded House

I’ll be good by Jaymes Young

We’ve got soul by Chapel

I’m not calling you a liar by Florence and the Machine

Talk to me by Cavetown

Earth by Sleeping at Last

Stupid Now by Drew Monson

Waves by Tonight Alive

Not so bad in LA by Allie X

Two Time by Jack Stauber

Choirs by Ashe

We fall apart by we as human

Runaway train by soul asylum

Drift away by Dobie Gray

Stay out by Nina Nesbitt

Spirits by the strumbellas

Idaho by Nerina Pallot

December by Ambershades

Marianne by Tori Amos

In the 99 by Vienna Teng

Alone in Crowds by Uhre

Maybe Not by Cat Power

Ran and File by Moses Sumney

Stoned Soul Picnic by Laura Nyro

Isolde’s Very Insightful Views on Going To

Work and Suicide by beißpony

This Is Me by Davey La

Photograph by Satellites

If All I Was Was Black by Mavis Staples

The Girl Who Broke in Two by Paul

Freeman

Shadow Room by Craig and Paul Freeman

Hooray for Tom by Bruce Hornsby

Heroes by 100 Year War

Jimmy Choos by Rickie Lee Jones

Pet Cemetery by Joe Innes & The

Cavalcade

Medusa by Tyler Lyle

The Minnow and the Trout by A Fine Frenzy

5th Avenue Bar by Dylan LeBlanc

The Grass is Green by Nelly Furtado

Ether Halo by John MacLeod

Something Worth Voting For by DC Cardwell

We’re All Mad In Our Own Way by Natasha Bedingfield

Small Talk by Spleen

Bird set free by Sia

Unstoppable by Sia

(Note: I will be adding to this regularly, if you have any songs you want me to add then let me know)

Who has not asked himself at some time or other: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?

Clarice Lispector (via remnantsofapoet)

It’s easy to grow fond of the sketchy outline of a person, and fill in what you don’t yet know.

My only moods are

High empathy

Anxious Anxious anxious!!

I AM GOD

Dissociate

The pure embodiment of rage

Some nights, even knowing this will set my nervous system screaming, I want someone who will hold me close. I want someone I can build a life with; someone who is the other half of my soul.

Then I remember that this would probably require sex at some point.

Fuck.

I’ll just have to settle for turning into Carpe the cola aunt, with twenty dogs in tow.

Ganondorf probably doesn’t appreciate Ghirahim’s lack of eyebrows

this was stupid and fun to draw omfg

Dating as an Ace

Talking to people in person is terrifying because I know once I come out to them they’ll lose all interest/think I’m a freak.

Trying to use dating apps is a waste because most of them are for one night stands or casual sex, not relationships.

Meeting people at work sucks because even if they’re really cute, I can’t make any approaches past “how can I help”, which gets me ignored 90% of the time anyway.

Not even my college pride group is useful because when I told them I was Ace, the club president went “is that real?” That broke my heart.

And finally I have online meetings that lead to LDRs. I’ve been in a LDR and it was the happiest I’ve ever been, but when she left I felt empty because a person I’ve never met took so much from me.

Nothing works, and it’s so depressing.

If you don’t have means to a therapist or mental health professional

Check out therapistaid.com. There’s worksheets there that you can download for free.

Of course it would be a lot more beneficial if you have a therapist to help you through it but not everyone has access to one.

It’s a free site where you can have free downloads of worksheets on many things.

If there’s something there that you think would be helpful, print it out and complete the worksheet on your own.

It’s hard to be accountable for yourself but at least there’s a way for you to have some insight and work on yourself.