Season Two But The Finale Is Filling Elias’s Office With Cement

Some random terrified Brit: I have witnessed literally the most disturbing and horrifying thing ever. I saw a giant distorted shape crawl out of the shadows, oozing pus and staring at me with unblinking eyes all over its body, and it started spitting rotted teeth at me and then it began to slowly eat my skin and now I can’t sleep at night because every time I close my eyes I see an apparition of this monster by my bedside ready to feast on my flesh again

Jonathan Sims, in a monotone voice: fucked up if true

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES SEASON 2 SPOILERS, MY DUDES

"Then finally, after what seemed like forever, a stupid, arrogant, little man cut the webs and set the monster free."

The Magnus Archives, 79, "Hide and Seek"

Okay, I hate you, "Not-them"

I don't like you and whatever the fuck you represent.

I hope you will get rebound in whatever the fuck you mean with "webs".

I hope Michael helps and... Idk, slices you to pieces with his big, sharp hands (very unlikely, seeing what's happening, but a girl can dream).

I hope that Elias gets his head out of his office and stops being a "waste of a suit" (good one, Tim).

But FUCK, I love how you're calling out Jonatham there.

My god, Daisy, I love you almost as much as I love when people make fun of the Archivist.

Also, he's thinking about Maaahtin <3

i’m in the middle of bum fuck georgia on a trip and all i want is some big ass slasher man to burst through the woods and b(eat) my ass

Present Mic says he loves you <3

SOMEWHERE IN JONNY’S MIND IS A 17 EPISODE MAGNUS ARCHIVES OFFICE ROMCOM AND GODDAMMIT IVE NEVER WANTED MIND READING POWERS MORE

The Magnus Archives got me feeling again

I teared up more than once just thinking about:

1. The Podcast ending

2. The cast being unhappy in general

3. JON AND MARTIN ARGUING (because one loves the other too much and the other does too but he's "noT GonNa DoOm tHE WoRld ovER It")

4. Yeah, Jon, in season 1 you really were a fucking dick, UH? OH! What's that? The sound of all of those mutual pining fanfictions that I wrote in my head just shattering??? Oh, cool.

5. "And I'm glad you've got him"

6. "Can I have a cigarette?" AND JON FUCKEN LAUGHING. UGH, GOD, SIMS, DON'T GO ALL "Oh, hey, remember that?" I OBVIOUSLY REMEMBER, I'VE BEEN HYPERFIXATING ABOUT Y'ALL FOR THE LAST MONTH.

7. The fact that I love Basira so much.

8. Jon feeling so guilty that he felt the need to try clear Elias's name.

9. ThE oMiNoUs fUcKInG tHiNG aBOUt tHe lIGhtER.... I dOn'T kNoW whAT iT is yEt bUt I jUsT kNoW tHaT i'M gOiNG tO cRy beCAuSe oF iT.

10. And the horrifying theories that sprouted in my head like the flowers in Jared's flesh garden.

Give me a fic where Garp does his damnest to find a photo of Ace’s mother to give it to him for his birthday. Give me a fic where Ace goes to Baterilla and finds an old midwife who remembers his mother and quietly talks about her will to keep her son safe. Give me a fic where an old man with a flower on his head would sometimes visit the South Blue to keep an eye on his late captain’s beloved and son. Give me a fic where Buggy challenges all pirate-hopefuls attempting to go to the Grand Line and stopping short when he sees Ace’s freckles and eyes.

Give me a fic where he pulls him aside and asks his name, and breaks down crying as he hugs him and chants underneath his breath, “You’re alive, you’re here, you’re alive.” Give me a fic where it’s Buggy that tells him about the Roger Pirates, about his fool of a captain, about his longsuffering first mate, of his annoying fellow cabin boy, and of his captain’s lover with a red hibiscus on her hair always. Give me a fic where Shanks fights the urge to hug Ace and wrap him up with his cloak the moment he sees him in the cold. Give me a fic where Ace shyly asks stories of his mother, but doesn’t hate his father as much as he did before.

Give me a fic where Rayleigh gets up from his seat and swims all the way to Marineford, because he’ll be damned to just watch and have another loved one (although Ace doesn’t know him) die when he can do something. Give me a fic where Buggy swoops in to carry Ace and Luffy somewhere far away from the war, all the while screeching at his Vice-Captain, “What took you so long!?” and mentally willing Shanks to show the fuck up already. Give me a fic where Ace is watching all the people who love him battle in the war and win, because he’s safe and in the Moby with his brother crying all over him and wrapped twice around his torso.

Give me a fic where Rayleigh, Buggy and Shanks stand off in the middle of the battlefield, all hackles raised and weapons and fists glinting black with haki. Give me a fic where the entire world trembles in anticipation for the upcoming clash, where Whitebeard gurarara’s with unbridled glee, where Sengoku feels fear, and where Garp grins with reckless abandon for everyone to see. Give me a fic where Law has to treat two human patients with the Dark King waiting in his submarine. Give me a fic where Buggy and Shanks argue while waiting for them to wake up. Give me a fic where Ace wakes up to dozens of happy faces smiling down at him, filled with joy upon seeing him awake.

Give me a fic where Crocus speeds towards them in Amazon Lily, hoping beyond hope that Ace didn’t get his father’s illness. Give me a fic where everything hurts but will be alright, where there are as much as tears as there are to peals of laughter. Give me a fic where everyone hugs Ace and ruffles his hair and claps his back and welcomes him with open arms.

Give me a fic where a flock of crows suddenly circle above them and a blonde man with a top hat comes flying down with the face of a brother thought lost and tears in his eyes. Give me a fic where the ASL become whole once more and are reunited without one of them never having the chanceto know the other was actually alive. Give me a fic where Garp comes weeks later and engulfs his grandsons in a hug and nearly burns his coat of justice in the pit, only to be stopped by Luffy who grins at him like he’s never known pain and forgives him wholly.

Give me a motherfucking fic where Ace gets what he deserves. Or I’ll write it myself.

Also Basira now has a title!!

So we have The Ceaseless Watcher's Special Little Boy, The Antichrist's Plus One, The Prophets Chosen To Walk The Endtimes Unscathed, and now A Freelance Watcher! :D