Latest Posts by aldenhan - Page 3
And can you tell me, was it worth it?
Baby, I don't wanna know
going back to sicily with a random child i picked up off the street
i was wondering why platon karataev already had a tumblr tag but apparently there’s a hungarian band named after him… u learn something new every day
josh groban plays the peasant man that pierre (kermit) meets in prison btw
muppets war and peace where the only human is andrei
put me inside flesh that is dying a ghost that wanders without rest buried by desires and weakness i understand please, don't take your love away from me
aka incontrovertible proof that they are HAVING SEX, courtesy of @theriddletrades
can someone help find this video for my friend: kirk runs out of frame, spock runs and gets shot, falls down, and when he falls it gets edited so he has a blanket and sleeping cap and there are “sleeping noises like honk shoo mimimi”
oddly enough these are the major themes of any classic russian novel
the best scene in any war and peace adaptation is when nikolai comes home and everyone runs to greet him
The Muppets Present: Chess the Musical
Chess the Musical is an underrated gem, and we absolutely love it. The concert version, considered by most to be the definitive version, can be found on youtube in this playlist, which has nearly the entire complete concert (part 12 has been removed, but the only song missing is "The Deal (No Deal)") and I highly recommend you give it a listen, because the music is honestly top tier. The concert version is what we will be referencing here, since all the various stage versions are so different from each other (this show really suffered from over workshopping). If you're new here, take a moment to review our rules for casting. NOW, onto the show.
The Show
Chess the Musical is the story of the chess world championship tournament in 1979. The cold war is raging, and the two world champions are from the US and Soviet Union respectively. The story focuses on these two players and their personal lives and dramas set against the backdrop of the political strife between the east and west, as they are unwillingly used as pawns in the conflict.
The show has a core cast of seven characters and an ensemble with a few interesting standouts who can be filled out by muppets and humans alike. These are the key players:
Anatoly Sergievsky - "The Russian": The champion from Soviet Russia—a troubled husband and father who despises the propaganda and politics of the tournament.
Freddie Trumper -"The American": The champion from the United States—a self-absorbed, fame-and-fortune-seeking, short-tempered bad boy.
Florence Vassy - Freddie's strong-willed second and possible paramour, who is strained by Freddie's brashness and begins to feel a pull towards Anatoly as the tournament progresses.
Alexander Molokov - Anatoly's conniving second who is also a manipulative KGB agent and a major force in the political games being played behind the scenes.
Walter - A financial administrator in Freddie's delegation and in some versions a secret CIA agent who serves as a political counterpart to Molokov.
The Arbiter - The coldly objective, no-nonsense referee of the championship tournament and also the president of the International Chess Federation. He is essentially the narrator, the Voice of the chorus.
Svetlana Sergievskaya - Anatoly's estranged wife who, under Molokov's machinations, must persuade Anatoly to return to his homeland and family in the second act.
The Cast
Anatoly = Kermit. Kermit usually isn't the protagonist in Muppet adaptations, because the type of character he is just doesn't fit that role as neatly, but he's the perfect fit for Anatoly. Anatoly is competent in his own work, but is really out of his depth in the situation at large, and struggles to be true to himself amidst what he feels to be his duty. An arc that Kermit himself has played out in many a muppet film. Really, the only muppet who could adequately pull Anatoly off is Kermit himself.
Freddie = Gonzo. Freddie is bombastic, abrasive, quick to speak and slow to apologize, and overall extremely selfish. He walks into a room and his personality demands the spotlight immediately. I don't think I really need to give any other reasons why Gonzo should play this character, but I'll give one anyway: imagine Gonzo banging out "One Night in Bangkok" with Camilla and the Hens as the backup singers bawking out the chorus.
Florence = Miss Piggy. Yes, she's the only female muppet of note (who can speak english, sorry Henrietta), but also she'd genuinely be a good Florence. Florence is driven, a strong independent woman who don't need no man, but that doesn't mean she don't want one, and the fact that Anatoly is played by Kermit....well, you see where I'm going with this. Also, she and Freddie have an increasingly antagonistic relationship through the show that would be great to watch with Miss Piggy and Gonzo. Again, imagine her singing "The Model of Decorum and Tranquility" and getting more and more frustrated and gravelly in her delivery. And don't forget to picture Kermit in place of Josh Groben in that scene too...again, the dynamics are top tier here.
Svetlana = Miss Piggy. I'm invoking rule 5, not only because again, the lack of other english speaking female muppets, but because I love the idea of two Miss Piggies both singing for Kermit's attention and lamenting that he'll never see her the way she sees him, that his attention will always go to his work first. "I Know Him So Well" is a duet between the two women about Anatoly, and imagine two Miss Piggies singing this in duet with each other, each knowing that the other has something to offer that she doesn't have, but also knowing that even that isn't enough, that Anatoly (Kermit) will never be able to commit to her the way she wants to to him.
Molokov = Uncle Deadly. Honestly I don't have a lot to say about this choice, it's just Perfect. Molokov already borders on cartoonishly evil, he is an immediately untrustworthy character and everyone knows it, he's the world's worst spy. Uncle Deadly is a shoe in for the role and I'll hear nothing else about it. (Also, while generally irrelevant in casting muppets in a musical, since you can re-key as needed, Uncle Deadly already fits Molokov's voice type)
Walter = Sam the Eagle. While Walter is not as overtly patriotic as Sam, in adaptation, there should be a muppet who is equally as enthusiastic for his country as Molokov is for the Soviet Union. Walter is in some ways the least emotionally complex character aside from the Arbiter, he exists to serve the plot and the ways the plot creates character conflict for Anatoly, Freddie, and Florence, so Sam (who is generally a one note patriot character) fits the role nicely. Also, just like Uncle Deadly, he fits the voice type perfectly.
The Arbiter = Daniel Craig. I call upon the power of the One Human Celebrity. Daniel Craig would be perfect for a muppet adaptation of The Arbiter, he is the type of human actor who could be surrounded by muppets and you'd 100% believe it. The Arbiter's songs require some gusto, but Craig can carry a tune and if you give him a vocal coach and 6 weeks (and re-key his solo), I think he'd be great. However, this casting ONLY works if there are NO OTHER HUMANS in the chess federation. Daniel Craig must be surrounded by muppets at all time. Just look at his solo, and tell me that it wouldn't be the best thing ever to watch Daniel Craig do this while flanked by dancing muppets.
Additional Bit Parts:
Statler and Waldorf as The Consulate. When Kermit's Anatoly is speaking to them about defecting to the UK, imagine them having this exchange. You could either rewrite the song to be a duet OR have two Statlers and two Waldorfs to fill out the quartet.
Non-Celebrity Human as The Soviet Machine. This must be a big, nondescript burly man who can sing one glorious falsetto note. He must stand stoically as evil muppets dance around and sing the Soviet Machine. Moopets can fill out the Soviet chorus line.
The Ensemble: Merano and Bangkok both have human backup dancers and chorus members as well as muppet, because these are location setting songs, and you want to establish that humans are here in this world. Mike Tyson can have a celebrity cameo in Bangkok for old time's sake.
Chess Dancers: the Hens and the Penguins supplement the human chess dancers that take stage during the two chess matches.
Reporters: a mix of humans and muppets, but no cameos during this scene, it's Gonzo's first big solo and the spotlight needs to be on him.
Fozzie Bear as the governer of Merano and as an authority figure in Bangkok: his presence in Bangkok is commented on and he loudly says "Oh no, you must be thinking of my brother!"
And that's The Muppets Present: Chess the Musical!
What other celebrity cameos would you add to the show? We'd love to read your thoughts! Also let us know if you have another musical or movie you'd like to see a muppet fancast of, we love doing these!
i love a good senile boyfriend. he may not be physically old but mentally he is at least 85 and he’s always convinced someone is after him.
say what you will about bbc war and peace but this shared look between natasha and nikolai is everything to me
rip natasha rostova you would’ve loved capcut templates so much
andrei "doomed by the narrative" bolkonsky has been on my mind recently.
the oresteia by roberte icke / prologue by dave malloy / waltz of the 101st lightborne / war and peace (1966-7) by sergei bondarchuk / grief lessons by anne carson / sunday morning by dave malloy / lake mungo (2001) / moby dick by herman melville / empty stage by franz wright / catheryne m. valente / the triumph of achilles by louise glück / ? / grief lessons by anne carson
dolokhov’s very few lines in the great comet are such ear worms like “this is serious business, dangerous business” i just love the way he talks
Since OMITB has enjoyed having famous guest stars on I want Josh Groban to guest star in Season 4 as an exaggerated version of himself living in the Arconia, who might have gotten a little TOO method in preparing for Sweeney Todd.
The ep. consists of Josh Groban helping the trio sort through suspects and melodramatically trying to tell the trio how a killer thinks (while also creeping them out cause he’s got way too much barber paraphernalia in his apartment). Midway through the episode Groban admits that he can’t crack the case…and then he brings in Annaleigh Ashford, who turns out to be just as melodramatic as Groban.
Groban and Ashford also guest star in the season finale watching the trio catch the suspect and making snarky comments about how the murderer could have done better.
told this girl i liked war and peace the other other day and she said “that’s cool! i like russian house music” so shout out to her
what’s even better is that he DOES need glasses, he’s just half blind on his adventures and probably doing some awkward fumbling that we don’t see. if i saw my cute archeology professor half naked, half blind, and trying to use a whip as his main weapon, i’d also be turned off.
I think if indiana jones' adoring students ever went on an Adventure(tm) with him it would be really funny if that was the turn off. like, a routine dig he was leading for the school goes awry and he has to get all cocky gunslinger ladies man hero mode and the students are like. hey what the fuck. his shirt gets ripped up revealing he's jacked and that one girl is immediately wiping the 'I love you' make up off her eyes. an entire room filled with artifacts gets destroyed while they make an escape and the kids are all horrified. "professor jones. how many people have you killed" "well, do you count the damn nazis as people-" "UNFORTUNATELY YES. LEGALLY YES. ARE ALL ARCHEOLOGISTS MURDERERS." he's flirting with some random woman on the dig and all the students are like what the hell. you can't talk like that. where did the droning and stutter go. why are you not flustered. she inevitably swoons into his arms or something and they're like "oh my God eww he's so sweaty. ma'am literally what's wrong with you. blink twice if you need help". they're so betrayed to find out he never even NEEDED glasses, he was wearing nonprescription lenses in class. Indy's lowkey hurt he's like I thought you guys thought I was cool :( and they're like 'yeah when you're in a bowtie and telling us about sumarian gardening techniques. WHY do you have a whip right now you freak'
...it seems to me that this comet feels me
most of war and peace is just men creating issues for themselves while women suffer the worst horrors imaginable.
tolstoy: after natasha and pierre got married everyone was pretty miserable for a long time and people died and stuff and it was really awful
me: aww they got married 😊 cute
callum turner was a very good anatole but he would’ve been better if they hadn’t given him that ugly haircut