I Want What I Can’t Have

i hear music when i’m around you

sometimes i hate social media. it’s a sickness really. it makes you less human. like why do people post a picture of a person as a form of affection? or why does everyone have to look so goddamn happy or interesting? or pretty? it feels so misleading. it takes us away from reality. a digital world where people live through their eyes and thumbs. leaving them with fabricated hearts and blinded minds. can we no longer see what’s really in front of us? we live for something fake, something that isn’t real. a shared delusion, how amusing. i guess what im saying is that the real world is where the magic is. we need to break free from this cage of illusion. these walls we’ve built with our fingertips. just remember what’s important, remember the things that are worth fighting for.

p.s. i do understand the value of it, i guess balance is the key. just don’t let it consume you.

i’m always running away,

am i even worth knowing?

it’s funny how things change,

and life keeps going.

i swear my pupils were made,

just to see you in this light,

and i’ve always wanted to leave this place,,

but i turn around every night

because you’re like nothing else.

i’m just used to everyone leaving,

i had so much love,

and now i don’t even have feelings,

but i just can’t ever give up,

because of you,

it’s always been you.

you have become many things,

like the certain shape of a cloud,

or a ring pop for a wedding ring,

a flower in the ground,

and a ghost that haunts my memories.

watch the sun,

rise,

the sky is a much sweeter poet.

look away,

oh unwieldy femininity,

i am unworthy of your gaze.

may our eyes meet,

reflections in the same star,

the sun watches you,

fall.

candle of the night,

i succumb to your prowess,

extinguish my reality,

oh burning desire,

be gentle with the flame.

i can not forgive what hasn’t happened,

or forget what’s to come,

whether i drown in hazel,

or endure in song,

i’ll still just be watching movies,

leaving it up to the divine.

And after everything, I still have nobody. Why do I give so much of myself to other people?

stay with me,

use me for the climax,

suffocate me,

you’re so wet and i can’t even think straight,

i know you love the way i stare into your eyes,

your soul is mine tonight,

i want you all to myself,

i’m selfish for you, i

think i may need some help,

if you don’t save me now i think i’ll go to hell,

promise me you’ll stay before i die tonight,

hold my hand,

goodbye.

even when the whole world is telling me no,

i still only want you.

so tell me,

what should i do?

if i’m being honest

i have to let you go

the southern sun is setting

sinking ships below

backwards i’ve been running

downwards i have flown

heart is getting heavy

you say it’s overgrown