Home Is Whenever I'm With You

Manic Mantra

What’s that Hungry Ghost in your head saying now? To let it all out, to scream and shout In silence and on beaten paper with colours of expression And perception Of sight that’s just right outside your comfort zone You could have never known how much I’ve grown Until I look deep in the crowd with understanding shown

Running away and cheating the price to pay Was always easy when I didn’t want to stay Because I’d rather be chasing the millions of spectrums And open doors in every dimension To the venom in my crystal veins fleeting so stray From the clusterfuck of an array Of bright lights and hushed sounds To lucent colours and wavelengths that surround You and I forever bound.

You can’t tell, but my face is rolling off and down the hall.

$1 Postcard I bought from one of the merchants at Bonnaroo this year.

Sweetwater 420 Fest 4/22/17

not one for filters, but this one got me like

i’ve been having a really rough time lately and people only pick up pieces of what’s going on no one ever knows the whole story so how can anyone expect to write an ending for me how can anyone expect to help how can i expect these cigarettes to keep burning before my own hand is on fire how can i catch my breath when all i breathe is smoke and toxins and filth coming out of your mouth and into my gut seeping down into the black void that seems to have a lot more going on that my heart these days these days have been a little more rough a little more tough tumbling down with no hope up

Goodbyes

My parents told me when I moved out That this city is gonna kill me But I never listen to the ones that know better And I ran away with my sweater and a temper

I learned to live with smoky rooms and cheap perfume And the life left my eyes young and too soon I started spinning out at the steering wheel On your arm and around my head With whispers telling me I’m better off dead

I took lessons off the streets to these four walls I took your love for granted, but I took more than that And I started dipping my wrist but forgot to mention That there were never any bad intentions From the start but my insanity Got the best of me

Think I might have had one too many potions Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jack Ass took another shot at me But I blame myself for these crooked impulses

I wish instead of spitting this rhyme I could travel back in time I wish I could hold you one last time Kiss you again, stare into those deep, brown eyes

It’s clear that something’s gotta give But I’ll give everything to replace what I took And my last words to you just so you know I’ll always love you more than anything, and it’s clear I have to go

Written Feb. 16 2015

please don’t let me give up please don’t let me give in i know i say things and i think things and my mind has more personalities than a reality show and sometimes i don’t know what i mean and sometimes i don’t know what i want

but something is creeping up on my shoulder with long, boney black nails and the shadow hand grabs the next it’s pulling me slightly just enough to make me bleed

but i won’t dip my wrist but i don’t know how it will go it takes a hold of my tongue it changed the scenery in the room with weights in my hands i turn automatic mixing and fixing all the little things nine to five or two whatever the time is i can’t keep up with the seconds as i chase them my knees shake and break i don’t know how much more of this i can take

i don’t know how much more of this i’m willing to take till i shake out of this feeling and slip into something soft and silky and red hot because it’s easier when my insides are set on fire to walk in a world of smoke and mirrors

and shadows and skeletons hiding in the deep that think collarbones are just an accessory and necessity and when i get close to you you’ll grab me by the hand with my other full of heavy drink and pull me under

but it takes all of me to just stay out of the water because my face turned to red from drinking all that deadwater wish i was stronger but i fear all i’ll ever be is the ugly stepdaughter

and when the last shoe doesn’t fit where will i be when it all comes crashing down around me where will i be

Drew this for a friend. I've never really tried my hand at drawing, I always only considered myself an artist of words.

I'm trying to draw something for each of my friends. 2 down.