This Flag Is Not Racist.

Kore Yamazaki : My Newest Idol

Yamazaki-sensei is a manga artist I really admire. I love the amount of detail she puts into her work - story and art, and how she can make even the most of the mundane seem magical. I haven’t admired an artist this much since Hayao Miyazaki.

And then I saw a photo of her and my admiration doubled.

Because it’s just so refreshing and validating to see a superstar of art not look like a glamorous hipster.

So many of the artists I admire look super well put together and almost all of them are thin. In fact, a lot of people I admire in the creativity fields are super thin and I guess I never realized how much that negativity affected me.

Feeling like I could never be as creative and successful as them because I’m not disciplined enough to put in the work to make myself glamorous and somehow that’s tied to my creative abilities and skill level.

An irrational thought, I know, but that’s how much the media has brainwashed me with it’s damaging messages of “if you’re not thin you can never be successful.”

I think it’s because it’s so rare for me to see pictures of any plus size artists and writers. And even then it’s even more rare to see anyone who has a face as round as mine.

So it was a thrill for me to see such a successful woman who looks a lot like me. And it’s especially gratifying to see a woman my age who doesn’t bother with makeup!

So thank you, Yamazaki-sensei, for being you, and inspiring the women who don’t fit the media mold.

Favorite Sonic IDW Moments 💙🦔💨 Part 3

“Two Ladybugs? I’m in heaven!” -Cat Noir

I just love the looks on everyone’s faces here: priceless!

Cat is just so totally happy/overwhelmed that he’s now got double his love, while Ladybug...

Not really sure if they’re looking at Cat Noir or each other, but I love how their expressions are so different from each other.

Marinette #2 (the one on the left - the non time traveler), is giving off a look of “oh my gosh, seriously? What incredibly inappropriate thing he is thinking of now?”

While Marinette #1 (the one of the right - the one that traveled in time), has a sort of bored “Ah, there he is with the jokes again. But at least he’s alive, so I guess I can let it go this time.” Because she’s the one that witnessed him sacrifice his life for her. She’s bound to be less annoyed with him as #2 (who has no knowledge of what he did - or what he’s capable of doing).

Or at least those are my thoughts ;3

I’ve been re-watching Steven Universe (from start to finish) the past couple of days, and all the new little nuances of the foreshadowing, references, and Gem culture are starting to stand out more the second time around. And it’s really sparked some ideas and theories that I hadn’t considered before the most recent seasons came out.

One of the more significant ones is the “My Diamond” phrase, or rather, Rose’s “My Pearl” line that she says in episode 45: Rose’s Scabbard.

Before the introduction of the Diamonds, that line didn’t really have any deeper meaning than the usual term of endearment. But with the Homeworld Gems referring to the significant leaders as ‘Their Diamonds’ (and when they don’t: such as Jasper referring to Yellow Diamond by her name, which we find out why later - because her TRUE Diamond is Pink Diamond), the phrasing Rose uses in that instance could have a far deeper meaning.

To call Pearl “My Pearl”, could not only be a term of endearment, but also that of high respect and loyalty. For Rose to say that to Pearl, who basically was made to be a pretty walking/talking purse, I think it was incredible and overwhelming. It’s no wonder that Pearl was so dedicated to Rose.

I think this is further proved in the episode ‘Sworn to the Sword’. When Connie asks Pearl “Did Rose make you feel like you were nothing?” and when Pearl answers: “Rose made me feel like I was everything.”

That statement makes so much more sense to me if my theory about the “My (Gem)” phrase is correct. When a Gem says “My Diamond”, I think it’s like they are reaffirming their devotion to the Diamond. They are saying “I am loyal to you. I live to serve you. You are the source of my existence.” (or something like that).

So when Rose goes and falls in love with Greg, I can see how terribly hurt Pearl would be by it. The Gem she thought was loyal to her - valued her more than anyone, decides to suddenly chose someone else, after all Pearl has done for Rose, and after thinking that she had Rose’s highest esteem…

It must have been truly devastating.

Now I wonder if Sapphire and Ruby go around saying that to each other ;)

Do you ever have mixed feelings about rating stuff on (insert streaming service that lets you yay or nay content)?

I do. Because on the one hand, I’m hoping that by doing so, it will enable the algorithms to do their job and suggest the next best thing for me.

On the other hand, I get a kick out of liking something but then hating something that’s supposed to be of the same type, thus making it impossible for the algorithm to accurately guess what I might like.

Why Aren’t There Youtube Videos for ‘How to Deal with Harassment in a Martial Arts Studio’ ? 

Because, quite honestly, there should be.

Some background, ‘real quick’.

I’ve actually been pretty lucky so far in all the places I’ve trained at. Though maybe because I’ve never been a grown ass woman training on my own before. Before this, I trained with my mom and sister, and it was during my middle school to high school years. I’ve been a white belt (level 1 newbie) four times now because we were constantly moving.

In my very first dojo, I was trained in both TaeKwonDo and American Karate by a Puerto Rican former military man. This man, my first Sensei, he was TOUGH. And he made sure his students, especially his female students, knew how to defend themselves. So he trained us hard, and he trained us to fight dirty (when it came to self defense in the real world. If you did any dirty fighting in the dojo, at the very least you’d be getting fifty fist pushups on the tile floor).

So even after bouncing from several other martial art styles and quite a dry spell, when I joined the TaeKwonDo studio I’m currently at, I was actually way better than a white belt. After all, I had been three belts away from earning a black belt in TaeKwonDo and American Karate at my first dojo. And my current instructor recognizes this and is quick to praise how quickly I’m picking the skills up again. I even managed to rank up to the next belt in less than a month!

I was really enjoying myself. After all, I had taken martial arts up again not for the prestige, but for the exercise and community. And even as an awkward kid, I always felt at my most confident throwing punches and breaking boards.

And then some twit showed up and had to ruin it.

This dude, we shall call him… Bob, enrolled about three weeks after I did. Right off the bat I could tell this dude had never trained in any martial arts before. The guy’s technique is very clumsy at best, and sloppy at worst. I don’t mean to disparage him. He’s only a white belt, after all. I don’t expect him to have a honed technique. Especially since he doesn’t seem to be taking the training seriously (or at least, as seriously as I am. My first sensei made sure I never threw a punch or kick that wasn’t peak form).

So what’s my deal with Bob?

In short, so many things. 

The long of it is that I’m starting to feel like he’s lowkey harassing me.

Since we’re both the lowest belts in the class (and we’re lined up by rank) we often end up next to each other during stretches/training, and are taught new techniques together.

(Quick question, if I dude is grunting during a workout next to a woman, is that a creepy gym guy move? Or am I reading into it too much? Because I feel like he grunts a lot when we’re stretching and doing situps/pushups next to each other. And I don’t hear any of the other men in the class grunting).

So besides the awkward grunting, he’s also given me a hard time for not being able to do a full situp, and even saying I didn’t do the require number of situps just because I finished before him (let’s see you do a full situp with double D cups on your chest, dude).

But the thing that’s been building up is his constant harassing me about going to the sparring classes.

At my current studio, you can decide how many classes a week you want to attend. I attend the two adult classes regularly (which, I might add, Bob does not). Then there’s an option to join one of the sparring classes for those who are interested.

When I first started martial arts, I was just a kid. I hadn’t even hit puberty yet, and was still pretty small. Sparing was for the older students who could be trusted to hold their punches back, or at least be more responsible in the event of an accident. My mom did some sparring, and she told me about how scary it was at first. And how she accidentally almost hurt one of the teen boys because they underestimated her and she didn’t have a good grasp on controlling her strength yet (I like to say I get my valkyrie genes from her).

Combine that with my base instinct to get physically violent when pushed to my limit. (Seriously, growing up, I used to bite kids who angered me). Needless to say, I don’t feel I’m ready to take on sparring until I know I have full control of my body. Right now, I’m still getting back into the swing of things; learning how to aim my punches and kicks, and getting a sense of my limbs' reach. I’m not ready to spar.

And this (insert your choice word for a cocky, delusional, disrespectful, creepy dude), has been harassing me about not going to the sparring sessions since he got here. Because he’s been going to these sessions and keeps asking why I’m not going.

Actually, he’s not asking. He’s guilting and harassing me. 

Because his pitch to get me to go, whenever I have repeatedly told him I’m not ready to go, is usually along the lines of: “You should come. I’m just a white belt and I’ve been going since I started. Why don’t you come-?” IN THE MOST CONDESCENDING VOICE IMAGINABLE.

Now, I regret being nice to him. I regret helping him go over katas/forms. I regret politely listening while he complained about the studio (that he’s attending with me right now) and how he might have to attend another studio just so he can learn punches (because this gift to the world didn’t read the sign on the front of the studio that says in BIG LETTERS how TaeKwonDo is known for its powerful KICKS). And most of all, I regret not shutting him down the first time he harassed me about not going to the sparring sessions.

We are NOT friends. He’s NOT entitled to an explanation from me about my personal reasons for not attending the sparring sessions. And he needs to STOP HARASSING ME ABOUT IT.

I spent most of last evening ranting about it to my mom and bestie, and then tossed and turned during the night going over rage induced fantasies where I do attend one sparring session, thoroughly kick him off his ass (with a few broken bones and at least a bleeding nose) - which doesn’t get me banned from the studio because the head instructor was on my side during this fantasy.

So to anyone out there that might have some words of wisdom: what do I do to get this @#$%^& to leave me alone?

My fictional crush types

While I was working on my writing, I suddenly realized my first crushes have colored all my other crushes over the years. To the point that each of my main writing projects features a love interest that is influenced by said first crushes.

So, naturally, I had to sort them out. For reference purposes.

After re-watching the Prince of Persia on Disney+, I’d like to think for their honeymoon, Dastan took Tamina to The Valley of the Slaves to watch the ostrich races and hear about the Ngbaka ❤️

Some of my favorite posts here on Tumblr: