I remember I had a day that, on paper, was awful. Bike had somehow had both of its wheels punctured, so I had to walk to school (it wasn't too far away from where I lived so if I made haste I wouldn't be late). While I'm walking, Aeolus decides to do everything in his power to ensure I fail. It was like walking against a leafblower, only bigger and proportinally stronger. However, while I pass the only place on the route where there are puddles, a truck speeds by, splashing a small tsunami directly at me. By this point I'm in a seriously bad mood, but it gets worse, as the moment I step foot on school grounds I trip on dogshit and fall in the earth-mud combination that the ground has become after yesterdays rainfall. On the way home I pass under a tree and I kid you not, like 3 acorns fall on my head and fall down my clothes, (these were like, decently heavy, not enough to hurt me but enough to be uncomfortable to be hit by). Then, when I get home, I realise I have lost my keys. By this point I am barely holding it together, but I can still go to my grandparent's house to get a spare and return it. Annoying, yes, but better than standing around in dirty clothes waiting for someone to come home. When I make it up there, I realise that they aren't home either, so I go to retrieve the spare key for their home, and after getting in, i realise that I don't actually know where their keys are. I call my grandmother, and she reveals that alas! The spare key is with them, as they use 1 keychain for all their keys. This was the point when the entire situation became so absurd that I just began laughing at it all, full on belly laughing at how comically unfortonate the day had been. I laughed most of the way home (it's a fairly short walk), and then it happened. As I got home to wait, my mom opened the door. She had been working from home all day, and heard me try to open the door but had been in the bathroom, and by the time she unlocked it I was already off to get the spare key. When I heard this I laughed hysterically she got genuinely worried, and then I showed her the back of my clothes and explained the entire thing, after which we both laughed like hell about it.
So it was a good day in practice, haha
Their power grows
Time to train up some dicipline! Remember that real dicipline isn't about muscular men at the gym, or soldiers obeying orders. True dicipline is personal and comes from within yourself, and nobody can force self-dicipline upon you (hence the name). The reverse Marshmellow test Take a piece of candy, chocolate, marshmallow, whatever you want to have. It doesn't have to be candy. It can be anything, so long as you desire it in the moment. Place either 1 or 2 pieces in front of you.
Should you pick 2 pieces: Allow yourself to take one, WITHOUT guilt. You are mature enough to make your own decisions and guilt is the bane of happiness. Set an arbitrary amount of time for yourself. It shouldn't be too long, because this is an active excercise that will take the time you set for yourself. I'd recommend 15 minutes AT MOST, but 2 minutes is much more reasonable. Even just 40 seconds is great! Now place the two pieces in front of you, sit down, and don't do anything. Neither productive nor unproductive. You may let your thoughts run as wild as you like, but you physically have to sit and look at the two pieces (this is the only reason why you shouldn't go for more than 15 minutes. It may take out a chunk of your day if you go any higher). If you manage to wait the time you set for yourself without taking the first piece, you may take the second. You don't have to eat it, but if you do, you can do it with a feeling that you 100% entirely earned that piece. Should you pick 1 piece: Put the piece in front of you and set some amount of time for yourself. Sit down and look at the piece. You don't have to clear your mind, but you may not do any chores/actions, practical or otherwise. You might notice that you aren't focusing on your piece, but instead practical work to do or just whatever it is your brain is thinking of. This is okay. Let the brain do what it wants, this is natural and healthy for a mind to do. It will eventually get these small 'chores' done and you will either be at rest or back to focusing on the piece. It's boring, but just keep waiting until the time is up. When the time is up, take your piece and eat it if you feel like it.
Bonus challenge! Try to convince yourself in your mind to take the piece early, or that you're just wasting your time by sitting idle (you're not, and believe me when I say that you waste much, much more time on other things).
(mid-challenge) What if I rationally don't want to do this anymore, and I'm starting to feel uninvested/in a worse mood? Fair enough! This may happen if the time that was set is too long. Here's what you do in the situation: You cancel the excercise. You haven't done anything wrong and you shouldn't feel guilt or shame. In at least an hour or so, you can try the excercise again if you'd like, with a shorter time. Finally, remember that 30 seconds isn't a bad time, and isn't important how long you can go for. You just have to be willing to challenge yourself with your time.
it was funny at first but you can stop now
You are only as happy as you think you are!
Smile often, it makes you happier.
That is all.
While you're right, entirely right, the thing is It shouldn't even be a 'i have to do x' in the first place. You should always get a reason for doing what it is that you are doing, otherwise dicipline will just be associated with negative feelings, and by that point it's back to square one of why we even go through the motions. The ironic exception is training dicipline itself, for which tasks that are inherently unnecessary are great.
You gotta want to do it, or failing that, at least convince yourself the task has meaning (If you're good enough at the skill of self-convincing, "getting the task done" can be meaning enough, too). Personally I just don't aknowledge the feeling of "I don't want to''. "I don't wanna go buy groceries" "Ah that's alright do it anyways"
So I guess what I really mean isn't that you can't recognise your own wish not to do something, but instead that you recognise it and just do the task instead of spending that expensive mental energy convincing yourself you HAVE to do it for your or someone elses sake.
Still, getting a free reason to want to do your tasks are a great thing, and is a boon you should cherish while you have it.
Fortifying not only makes you a happier person all around, but is also what permanently relieved me of my lack of confidence (and, to a lesser degree, my self esteem issues). Like many others, I felt like I was a barely functional product that was just barely able to make it through life. But truth is, as I kept proving the more I reviewed myself in different situations, that I was incredibly capable of dealing with actual problems. And so are you. You just have to look out for ACTUAL problems, which are easy to ignore, and stop looking at the imaginary problems that we love to give attention to.
Actual problem: My bike trie fell off and I didn't have my phone with me. (Solution, which I did not recognise myself doing until much later): Drive the remaining length to my destination, ask for someone's phone and call someone who could help pick me and the bike up later.)
Imaginary problem that same day: My voice is shaky, isn't it annoying for other people to listen to? ("Solution": Akwardly stop talking with this person who is interested in hearing what you have to say. Imagine if they started disliking you.)
So fortify yourself if you are worried, and focus on the small solutions you come up with everyday. You are the god of problem-solving, and this next trick to avoiding self-pity is all about that:
Understand who you are. That may seem like a tall order, but it's easier than you think. You are a human. You may think humans come from all sorts of weird places, but if you can't accept evolution, I mean, I don't know how you found yourself in my blog in the first place, cuz I don't dumb these things down for my readers. So we are fancy monkeys, less hair, more stamina, bigger brain, the works. What about it? Well, what are we meant to do? That's right! It's time to answer the meaning of life (kinda). I will argue that, by looking at our bodies, we can to a degree figure out what we are meant to do. Let's take a look at a cheetah. Cheetahs go fast. like 100kmph or 60mph fast. That's impressive, and you would have to assume that, on some level, the Cheeta is 'meant' to go fast. Let us now look at the humble dog. The dog is a wolf, but for humans! They are rounder, slower (both physically and mentally), cuter and much less scary. The dog is meant to be our pets! And it wants to be, too! Now for the human.
The human is.... uhh... well.. For starters, we have a straight back. Why? Because we have 2 legs. Why? Because we have 2 of our limbs as arms. These can move far more freely than our legs. Why? So that our hands can reach things in all sorts of ways. Why do they need to do that? Because humans are dynamic. We constantly try to one up ourselves and each other, and we don't just have one unique mechanic for one purpose. Right now, you are deriving meaning (hopefully) from looking at pixels on a screen that display the right photons in the right patterns to make this "g", and your brain is not only proccessing those symbols, getting meaning from them, but you may also write something yourself, where your brain both thinks what it wants to convey, turns it into a sentence, THEN makes your fingers press on buttons on a plastic board until your idea exists somewhere other than your mind. What?? That's an insane concept to think about! Armed with this knowledge, I challange you to ask yourself the next time you find yourself in a scary or unpredictable situation: "How am I gonna get out of this one??", because that's litterally what your mind is meant to do. That's right! The meaning of life is to solve problems?? Eh, maybe not, but it's probably a small part of the puzzle, so don't throw the idea out, okay?
With that, you should be well on your way to complain less, both to yourself and others. Remember to fortify and celebrate the small victories that you give yourself.
Love, Anthony.
Because they are sure as shit looking at you.
Eyes of the forest. Aspen trees
"I do not believe in God, I believe in humans." This is usually what I say when people ask me if I'm religious, and there is meaning behind it. Religion is many things, but it is not neccesarry for humans. Most organised religions make a great deal out of the idea that we need to be good to each other, usually with the promise of a blissful heaving and/or the threat of a miserable hell. I do not believe such a sentiment, but moreover...
I do not believe we need a reason to be good.
Stoicism is sometimes described as 'positive nihilism' and that really shines here. I do not believe there will be consequences for our actions. I do not believe there needs to be. Because our actions will be judged, and are judged, by ourselves. And while there may be a heaven and hell, I do know for sure that I have a life, right now, so trying to make THAT a good experience is definitely worth it.
We have a moral duty to do good. To do our best. This moral duty transends.... absoloutely jack squat. This moral duty is one that we owe to ourselves, the 'promise' being that we can die at peace with our life choices, and the 'threat' being that we die with regrets. Personally, the thought of dying with regrets isn't even that scary, though I do go to great lengths to avoid it. But I know that if tomorrow was my last day, I would not have any real regrets (though my early passing would be regrettable).
Does this mean religion is total bs? No, not really. (i pressed post like the moron i am, editing in the remainder of the post now)
But Kant said "Do good things because they are good" and that is all you need to get started. If you find yourself asking why you are doing this, tell yourself: "because its good" and then do it.
Finally, we are about to go to some confusing places. See, the reason you do good things for good reasons is actually... inherently egotistical. You do it to feel good about yourself! This is a kinda nihilistic thing to think about, but I'll tell you how I rationally came to terms with it: A person is ONE person. So all that truly matters to that person is them being happy, satisfied, loved. Now, when you do what's best for society, you give up happiness but fortify your satisfaction and love, both recieved and given. How does any of it make sense? Well, here it is, straight from Niels Overgaard himself: "You are both the most and the least important person in the universe." What this means is that every action you take should, at the end of the day, go towards making you a happier, more complete person, but that you should recognise that being humble and treating yourself like the least important person in any social situation. This has some complex social implications which I won't go over right now, but just understand that you love yourself because litterally everything you do, you do to be either a happier, or a more complete person, however difficult that may be to believe.
With that, I love you all - Anthony
This is a pretty provokative statement. But you don't deserve to feel bad. It is not a privilege you deserve. And the sooner you accept it, the faster you'll be capable of properly take responsibility of yourslef and your life. It may be the case that your parents are fucked up and/or idiots, that you have had to experience and endure some messed up shit, that your health isn't perfect, or that you wish you looked or felt a different way. But nobody promised you that life would be easy. And if they did, then I'm sorry, but they lied. There is only degrees of imperfect lives. Your life is exactly your specific degree of imperfect. Danish poet Dan Turéll said that "it's not easy to be anyone". The only certain part of human existence is misery and death, according to buddhism. That's why you shouldn't view the adversity that will (and it will) be forced upon you in life, and the same goes for hardships and mistakes. That's what life is. If you wanted to have a life without adversity, go play Homescapes. I can feel bad for you, if you perhaps grew up in a home with alcohol abuse and mistreatment, or if you have experiences severe disease or death in your close family at a young age. I am aware that some people get a shitty hand in the great card game of life. And it's never a childs fault, no matter what they are subject to. But that doesn't mean you are going to benefit in any particular way from feeling bad for yourself. At least not for long. Maybe you're capable of taking an objective look at recent events and say "yeah, that was total horseshit", or "yeah, that was millions to one, how unlucky". That you should feel bad for yourself, just like you would for any other person who went through those events. But once you've recognised that, leave it. Because if you keep it around, it'll weaken you up. The road to pitytown is a slippery slope, and once you're there, you let go of your responsibilities.
Of all the time periods I have played, I have never been more flabbergasted than the 2010's. It's not the most glorious experience I have had - My first invasion of France in 1870 had Ride of the Valkyries playing at the perfect moment, nothing will top that. It's also not the most miserable experience I have had - The first day of the battle of Kursk led to me not being able to sleep, and hallucinating about looping artillery loaders that didn't work. I did not enjoy the 1400's in the first place.
So what the fuck is going on man. There is not a single intuitive system in this period. And I don't even own the DLC yet. Litterally before the game starts it's confusing. Why is there a gender that is shown as being unavailable if you don't have DLC? That's a new low, even for this game. Also, from what I can tell, the other animals are just there to lead up to you playing the "human" game which doesn't have a goal. The 'goals' seems to be a tiny recommendation/quest that tells you what to do, but half the time it's almost exclusively just "survive and recreate" or based around some gimmick that the engine now supports.
I have about 192 thousand years on the game now, and I've finished 2 campaigns, one on Japan and one on South Sudan. I've also played the other, larger economies but never to completion.
So here are my questions, and though they are meant as rambling, feel free to answer them if you want to.
Why do I chronically lack homes? Wait, actually, no, its: Why do my construction companies not turn a profit even if I'm missing like 1200 homes a week? Wait, wait, I got it now, what I'm really asking is: Why the FUCK do my markets have the most chronic, incurable and penetrating case of tectumitis I have ever witnessed in my fucking life? I can build 30, 40, no 60 high density urban spaces in a fucking row, they will all be at full occupancy, I have them on the 3rd method (the one where they live with children but not extended family), and I just look at the housing deficit growing, what the fuck does it all mean!?
What the hell is an 'economic strategy', and why does the game take such fucking pride in relaying the information that the USA's attitude has changed and is now protectionary (previously aloof)? From what I can tell, this changes NOTHING about their behaviour, their liberty desire, or their worth to me, neither as a nation or as a person.
How. The hell. Did they reduce race relations to that. And get away with it. And you know what? I prefer it! I genuinely fucking do. I love the 1840's as much as they next KKK member, or whatever, but being able to just determine overall race relations in an area based on a series of numbers, rather than the horrendously complex musical culture of the last, is nice. No idea if it's a better system if you actually want to minimize the penalties of bad race relations, but a more comprehendable text nonetheless.
How the hell do I manage pollution? I make the carbon capturing places, i bankroll the fucking technologies, i ask for the fucking good news, but they aint coming, chief.
THE ETERNALLY SHRINKING MIDDLE CLASS SYSTEM IS THE BANE OF MY MISERABLE, UNWELCOME EXISTANCE. YOU FUCKERS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.
The government bonds system is a great way to make me take time out of managing the index funds to make more loans that i at best have a 50/50 chance of paying off without MORE loans? What was the idea behind this mechanic? That I planned out the long term national budget? That I was prepared for the annual expenses of my country?? They jump up and down like a frog on cocaine. It's just an annoyance, forces the player to waste their time constantly fucking sending them to the top of the queue, and serves zero purpose other than that.
And finally, most of all: how. the. fuck. does. the. economy. work. you know what? I dont wanna know. Dont fucking write it. the gdp, the PLC's, the tourists(when there are any), will remain a mystery and i dont ever want to lay eyes on THAT GODFORDAMMED GDP LINE EVER AGAIN.
And this was supposed to be a BUILD-UP DECADE!? What the hell happens in the next one, then?
I talk about stoicism and stuff sometimes. Do not expect consistent posts. Do not expect relevant posts all the time.
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