Dust: *snirks* Double Date?! Boss Feels Disgusted Be Positive Sh(oo)t!

I ship it

DearMeHeHasGoneYandere-

Snow White? More like Sass White!

Vil: Mirror Mirror on the wall who is the fairest?

Mirror: No matter how many times you ask me, it's still Snow White... tbh I don't know why you're fixated on being super pretty, humans don't last that long-

Vil: What does he have that I don't?! That's it, I'm killing him!

Mirror: You don't need to kill him, YOU NEED THERAPY! And he's gone...

Vil: there he is... look at him thinking he's so much better than me...

Evonie: if you're another Neige fanboy, I suggest you get out before I throw my shoes at you!

Vil: how dare you?! Do you know who I am?!

Evonie: you're about to be applesauce is what you are if you don't give me a moment of peace!

Every damn day he gets a confession and a stalker but for some weird reason people keep mistaking me for his lookalike! We hardly look alike!

Vil: Wait so you're not his sister? I thought you guys are related considering both of you have houses next to each other.

Evonie: I didn't have a choice! I can't just pack up and move! It's hard enough to get a house in a place where women are expected to be homemakers!

Vil:... so do you dislike Neige?

Evonie: Not him exactly but the fact he is unaware of the problems he's brought into my routine like a pied piper but for simps!

Vil: what's a simp-

Evonie: but mostly it's the damn village! I could tolerate him being hounded since it's not my business but there are weirdos who mistake me for him and I end up getting cornered by some Romeo who sends me a lock of his hair and some psycho who sends creepy love letter written in animal blood!

This is insane!!!

Vil: .... oh my god

Evonie: Ugh, I swear, the Queen living in the castle is more tolerable than having to deal with Neige's admirers everyday...

Vil: !!! Oh really?

Evonie: Yeah, I heard despite being called a Queen, he's actually a guy! Which I fully support because that means he doesn't give a crow's @ss about gender roles!

I'd pack up to live there as a servant if he tells me to.

Vil: Oh I'm sure he will

Evonie: wait what do you mean- he's gone!

--Later--

Mirror: You haven't asked me the question of who's the fairest for a few days now, don't tell me that you killed him!?

Vil: I decided against it ever since I met this lovely maiden who speaks with a tongue that scalds the mental stability.

I'm sending her a letter to come move in at the castle from now on! If anyone tries to prevent that, they will die in my way.

Mirror: Oh dear me ... he's in love! 😨

You don't know how much I NEEDED something like this-

cat error and cat geno

could I ask what your pronouns are

She/Her are my pronouns.

What's worse is that if Overblot Riddle wins, you get to start that whole chapter all over again and it annoys me to no end-

The boss fight in An Unhinged Perfect …wtf!? This is only Book 1 of the game why is it such a pain in the ass to beat? How much do i have to level these damn cards to make any progress? Are all the boss fights like this!?

Aware, holding a feral Ink back: why a bush?

Dream: why do you have Ink-

Dream: We don't want any trouble!

Killer: I do, though

Leona and Sebek proceed to fight.

First Years At A Festival

Deuce: Ah, wait. I think we lost Sebek.

Jack: The hell do you mean “lost him”? How do you even lose somebody that loud?

Epel: Or somebody who’s that tall??

Ace: Or somebody with green hair???

Yuu: Irrelevant. But I have the solution to this problem.

Jack: Oh no.

Yuu, taking a deep breath and then screaming: MALLEUS SUCKS!!!

Voice From the Crowd Behind: WHO SAID THAT!?!? HOW DARE YOU!!! COME, SHOW YOURSELF!!

Voice from the Crowd in Front: HELL YEAH, HE DOES!

Yuu: So, the good news is that I found Sebek and he should be heading over here now. The bad news is that he’ll probably try to kill me once he gets here. And in unrelated news, I have also located Leona-senpai.

Jack: … Why?

@simpforsimeon STRAIGHT UP "YOU DEADBEAT! AND YOU WONDER WHY I CALL MY HOMEROOM TEACHER DAD?!" AND THE FACT THAT ROOK STEPPED IN ONTO THE PLAN XD

Homewrecker, husband-stealer villainess!

Idia is not going anywhere, you hear me?! You might be happy being the other woman, but I'm not happy with the pair of horns!

NOTE: I only write for female Reader, but everyone is welcome to read!

Inspired by @adrianasunderworld in this funny as hell post.

THIS HAS A SEQUEL! What if we fake married for real? (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾) ~★

"To give someone a pair of horns" is to cheat on them. Also, Rook gets involved because he'd absolutely adore to be part of the drama.

— (⁠╬⁠☉⁠д⁠⊙⁠)⁠⊰⁠⊹ฺ

Idia knows he's not frozen like the others, but honestly, he feels like it. He feels like even his lungs, even his heart has stopped. All because of this cute-faced npc who forced her way into a romance route with him. If he could think about it, he'd think about that horror game with the same story, but right now his mind is blank.

He has reached the point of no return. Actually dying would just reinforce his fate.

Or, at least, is what he thought. Almost as if answering to his thoughts, there's a loud noise coming from the other side of the doors, followed by footsteps.

Then the doors are thrown open by none other than (Y/N), the Ramshackle Housewarden that the school affectionately tends to call "Prefect".

She's dressed to the nines in a breathtaking wedding gown, the skirt pooling around her like God-Tier CGI, the blue accents contrasting beautifully with the pearly white of the dress, the blue roses decorating her head in a crown making her look like Persephone herself. She'd look perfect, if it weren't for the tear streaks her make-up left behind.

Wait. Tear streaks?

The silence breaks with the Prefects loud, shrill screech, a sound no one has ever thought she, the usually soft spoken and gentle Prefect, would be capable of.

"HOMEWRECKER!"

Without stopping to breath, she walks forwards, looking angrier and angrier each step taken.

"How dare you, you conniving bitch?! How dare you steal my groom! ON OUR WEDDING DAY?!" she screams at Eliza, stopping in the middle of the way to point at... at Idia himself?! "And you! You good-for-nothing two-timer! How dare you leave me waiting at the altar?!"

"Young man, I am terribly disappointed!" Professor Crewel chides from behind her, and Idia finally notices the group that actually came in with her. "I did not give you permission to marry my daughter, my first and only daughter, for you to break her heart on her happiest day!"

"Big brother! How could you! Think of your child!" Ortho chimes in, and if Idia hadn't built tear tracks on the boy himself, he would believe firmly in his tears. "Little Meg would be so sad if her daddy just left for another woman!"

"Idia, what is the meaning of this?!" it's Eliza's turn to screech, turning to him with fury in her eyes. Idia stutters a few random letters, trying to form words, just as confused as she is.

Until it clicks.

Right. Fake relationship. How could he forget one of the most cliche tropes in romance's history?

"I... I... t-this isn't what it looks like!" he finally manages to say, trying to look as desperate as he can, which is not hard considering what his fate is in case this plan fails. "I can explain!"

"Is it because of my past with Rook?! "

"Young man, you're still hung up on that, despite being the only man I've ever approved for my daughter?"

"What?!" someone yells in the crowd, but the man in question promptly enters the play as if he was born for this moment alone.

"Monsieur, I have told you this already, but I shall say it again! My dear dove's happiness is the most important to me! If she has chosen you, then my heart shall settle!" What the fuck, why is Rook so good at improv?

"I-I know!" calm down, Idia, think of this as a rhythm game and keep the beat going! "I don't... I don't want this, but this villainess wouldn't listen!"

"Wait, so this woman is telling the truth?!"

"This woman?! THIS WOMAN?! You mean his true bride?!" (Y/N) steps closer, fat crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks, smudging her make-up even more. "You- you- you husband-stealer! Know your place! You come into my house, you steal my groom and the father of my daughter-"

"I see no child-"

"Do you think I'd bring my child to see my husband's mistress?!"

"Big sister, calm down, think of the baby! Your stress levels are dangerously high!"

"WHAT BABY?!"

"Monsieur Shroud, if you do not fix this situation, I shall be taking my belle back! Do not worry, the children will not grow without a father!"