Tip For Any Gender-queer Or Non-conforming People Out There: Know The Law.

Serious TW for SH

No photos or graphic depictions

I relapsed into sh recently, and only now told my bf. I told him that if he was mad I understood. And that if it changes anything between us I’ll work hard to repair it. I said it all by text at midnight, fully expecting him to be asleep. But he instantly called me, told me really gently that he wasn’t mad, that he understands it in pain and this is how I cope. He said it’s not okay that I do it, but that he understands and that nothing is going to change just because I didn’t tell him right away.

I don’t know what I did to deserve this man.

-Apollo

I am so emotionally confused. I have a crush on this guy. One problem with that.

It’s the host’s boyfriend.

I’m not a confrontational person, so I’m not totally sure what to do. Apollo already knows. But isn’t sure what to do or if to bring it up. I want to bring it up to the hosts best friend, but at the same time I’m not super close to them…. Soooooo….. yeah.

-Varian

Do you guys ever just look at your phone and mindlessly scroll for a bit and then you look back up and you’re an entirely different person?

-idk who this is rn

So these tags were on my post about amnesia. And I want to address it. Short answer, no you do not. You need blackout amnesia (assuming that’s what you meant by full amnesia) in order to have DID.

DID is not the only way to have a system, OSDD 1-b has very little or no amnesia and still has alters, so does p-DID.

Though I do want to differentiate between the different types of amnesia.

Emotional amnesia: where you don’t remember any emotions that you were feeling during the event.

Greyouts: when you remember what happened but have no memories of it, as if someone told you about the event but you weren’t there.

Blackouts: when you don’t remember anything about what happened, and you often don’t remember that you missed something.

I’d also like to mention that amnesia often doesn’t happen in the moment, often the memory will fade over a short period of time until they’re gone. At least that’s what I experience.

Anyways, here you are @sprites-your-cal

Hope this helped

-Apollo

Anyone else have a host that loves their source and consumes startling amounts of media of it until they’re pulled to the front?

No one?

Cool.

-Varian

Here’s my intro. Wasn’t really sure what to say but today I learned I’m terrible on camera. Anyways. Sorry about the wrinkled shirt it’s the only one I could find that I felt okay in.

Don’t forget to sleep at some point

-Hunter Noceda

Death by amnesia, that sounds pretty accurate.

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

Me and my one irl system friend are tuned into the same microwave frequency, trying to push the buttons and make it work when it’s not even plugged in.

-Apollo

It is so fricken annoying when you are the only alter who has good posture, and because of all the time shrimping it hurts your back to sit/stand straight.

-Loki

So….. I got the results back the other night. After four and a half weeks of obsessively checking my email waiting for them to be sent.

Unspecified Dissociative Disorder

I’m We’re officially diagnosed

I haven’t really taken the time to process because in the two days before I got the results I’ve come out to my friends and family as a trans guy and most of that went well but not all of it. My mind has been very occupied by the euphoria of not having to pretend and not worrying who misgenders me because the people who matter would never do that.

So I have not yet taken that proper time and space to think about the diagnosis at all. When I opened the email it was 2:30 AM and I had to be up for work in three hours so I needed sleep. Which is partially why it took me three days to post this.

So Im getting to the point of dealing with and processing the emotions of finally being validated while also having confirmation that I can’t just ignore it till goes away cause it’s more than my imagination. And then figuring out what that will mean going forward in my life.

For the time being I’m going to start posting on here again. I’ve been avoiding putting anything on here because I DID NOT want to think about the results until they were in.

Anyways, that’s the life update. Hope you guys have a good day/night

-Apollo

I have a psychological examination in a week. It’s four hours long and a two hour drive to get there. It’s been scheduled for months and I had been trying to get an appointment for literal years. I’m hoping that I’ll get diagnosed with DID among other things because of it (that’s the whole reason for the appointment) , but I am terrified of what the outcome will be.

Basically there are three ways this can go.

They tell me I don’t have it and I believe them. If this happens I will most likely cave to denial. Not forever but it’ll probably be at least a few months before I try to talk to my alters again. Might end up front stuck because I don’t believe they’re real. (All of that of course assuming I DO have it and the doctor gets it wrong) if they say I don’t have it I probably don’t and yes this means I can try to rehabilitate and live my life without alters, but I’m also going to feel like a shit human being for even INSINUATING that I have this disorder, let alone placating it.

They tell me I don’t have it and I don’t believe them. In the scenario, whether the explanation the doctor told me are bullshit or even if they say they ‘don’t believe in the disorder’, whatever the reason I have to go through this whole process again, anxiety and frustration and all. So let’s hope it’s not this.

They tell me I DO have it. This is genuinely probably the least messy outcome. I will most likely believe them just because they specialize in this area (assuming they believe in the disorder). The downside with this (aside from the obvious point of it all being real and incurable) is that the ONE other time I got validation from a mental heath professional (who was coincidentally the only mental health professional I talked to about this for more than five minutes and was also trauma informed) the ONLY time anyone said ‘yeah that very well may be what’s happening’ the system got so out of hand so fast. I could no longer push away my alters with the excuse of ‘they may not be real anyways’. And because I couldn’t use that reasoning to keep things in check everything went haywire for a few weeks until I could convince myself that we still don’t know if they’re real. So yeah. If it plays out like this things are going to be so hectic and stressful for a bit.

Either way, I’ll update you after the appointment and once I get the official diagnosis.