Curate, connect, and discover
Oh. On the topic of transmasc stuff, I’ve got an appointment soon to discuss birth control options for me!
I’m super excited because my periods are my biggest cause of dysphoria and for the longest time I was worried I couldn’t go on birth control due to the fact that I’m intersex.
So, woohoo!! Genuinely!!
Not to get into community discourse, but I’d like to share a point.
Mind you, I have seen multiple sides to this “debate” as I like to have rounded knowledge before I say my piece, about ANYTHING political or discourse-y.
The statement I’ve seen again and again, in multiple places, is the sentiment that there aren’t bills directly targeting transmascs, or hatred directed specifically at transmascs, or anything else under that umbrella directed at transmascs.
Obviously there have been a lot of good counters to these statements, and I’m not going to repeat something that’s been said better or more eloquently by others.
However, I have yet to see anyone talking about something that, in my opinion, really should be referenced more.
The concept of “Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria” (ROGD).
ROGD as a concept was legitimately created to theorize why, all of a sudden, transmascs were coming out and attempting to transition.
Rather than acknowledging the blatant truth- tranness, to these people, was limited to AMABs, and even then, for the longest time “trans healthcare” for ANY trans person was just discouraging transition altogether- they decided to make up a narrative that suited their needs.
That their precious “daughters” were falling victim to a new disorder. Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria.
Rather than help their sons feel comfortable in their own bodies, masses of parents flocked to this idea. Politicians flocked to this idea, and used it as a BASIS for many anti-trans bills.
Need I cite the hopefully infamous book? “Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters”? The INFAMOUS book written elaborating this idea? The book used as evidence for countless transphobic bills?
That one concept (which, by the way, ROGD has been discredited by NUMEROUS health organizations worldwide, just in case I needed to clarify that) led to COUNTLESS transmascs facing abuses at home, in school, and elsewhere.
IDK, just food for thought. I think it’s odd that, in all my searching and read throughs of this discourse, NOBODY has mentioned this, even though it’s a pretty good example of transmasc specific oppression.
I am a girl. I am a girl because everyone my whole life has told me so. I am a girl because I wear skirts and dresses, because I like talking about boys with other girls. I am a girl because I wear bras, and need tampons, and need to shave my legs every week. I am a silly younger sister, and a caring older sister. I am a girl because my body chose to be a girl, and I love being one.
But I want to be a boy. I want to be muscular and strong, and to have a flat chest. I want to shop in the men's section for button downs, and shorts with large pockets. I want someone to look at me and think "He's so handsome." I want to own Nerf guns, and climb trees while scraping my knees. I want to be a mischievous little brother, or protective older one. I want to be a boy. But I am not. Because I am a girl.
Sometimes I want to be a mix of the two. I want to be a boy who wears skirts and high heels, and doesn't feel like any less of a man. I want to be a girl who intimidates and works long days to provide for her family, and who is still seen as a woman. I want to go a long time without washing my hair or shaving, and still be called Miss in the grocery store. I want to wear makeup and curl my hair, and still be told what a fine young man I am. But I cannot. Because I am just a girl.
Sometimes, when I am alone, I will take off my clothes and look in the mirror. At my body, who chose to be a girl. (Though I do not hate it because of that choice. It did not know that the soul that lived inside of it would not match.) And I will say to myself "I am a girl", and for that second I will be. Then I will say I am a boy, and I will become one for that moment. Sometimes I will say " I am a boy and a girl." and I can be both. Other times I will say "I am just a person." And my concept of gender will fade for that moment.
But after, the words will fade and I'll put my clothes back on. And I will be just a girl again. Not because I chose to, but because that is what I have been told my whole life.
I am a girl because everyone has told me so, and they will never see me as anyone else.
(This is my experience as a multi-gendered individual. I do not speak for anyone in the community except myself. People have different experiences with gender and sexuality. Nothing is universal. If you want to understand someone, ask about their own experiences. Don't presume. Make sure to take care of yourself.)
I keep forgetting that when I was in like 4th grade I logged on to my switch to play with my friends and at the time I didn't have a mic so... ANYWAY- they guessed my gender and thought I was a boy and I just never had the time to type in the chat that they were wrong so I just dealt with it. But it like didn't bother me. In fact I kinda enjoyed it. And I was just like, "Hmmm, eh. I'm sure that's normal, and if it isn't then I'll just have older me look into it."
I wish I'd been able to find that one post about the person who procrastinated figuring out their sexuality because this story would go perfectly!
Going from "Yep, I'm a girl, 100%, always will be." to "Hell yeah I'm a guy, what else would I be this is what I am, 100%" to "What the fuck is a gender? I'm just a being. If you must refer to me use it/that." to "What am I?" In a day is a weird experience and I need to know that other genderfluids experience it.