Aro-in-danyl - Sarcasm Is My Name. Sincerity Is My Game.

imagine you're living in the post apocalypse and your adopted dad still makes you do homework

au where when darth vader declares that he’s Luke’s father Luke comes to the (entirely reasonable) conclusion that darth vader and anakin skywalker were married

Alastor as a "Gift from God" AU

Inspired by the TV Show Lucifer. I could not get this idea out of my head so into the tumblr void it goes.

Edit: PART 2 up now.

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Sera could count on one hand the number of times the Almighty personally called for her. And every single one before was the precursor to some disaster or threat.

She was confused when she was beckoned past the throne room, away from the meeting rooms, and into the Almighty's workshop. There was no dust or cobwebs for God would not allow it, but it was known among the higher-ups that The Almighty had not had the motivation for creation in eons.

"The screams of the damned awoke me today," God's many hands reached out from their ineffable form to grasp jars and potions of dubious origins.

Sera stiffened. "I thought you could not see into Lucifer's domain."

She had not dared to think she could hide the First Extermination from The Almighty's gaze but she'd hoped she have more time.

"Never before today have souls perished a second time." God collected more vials and instruments that Sera could not for the life of her understand the purpose of.

"Such fear," and they sounded sad, "over the birth of one child."

The Anti-Christ, Lucifer's daughter was more than just a simple baby. Her parents had hidden her for decades, but the change in their attitude was noticeable even before her existence was made known to heaven. Lucifer again grew bolder and more fanatical with his ideas and Lilith-

If they'd only known sooner.

Silence passed as God worked. Sera kept her head bowed so she could not see what was being created. But they did not demand she stop the exterminations, and that was enough for her to finally raise her head and peak at The Almighty's first creation in centuries.

A soul. Or what would become one soon enough.

Her curiosity finally broke through. "You have not crafted a soul by hand since-" She cut herself off. No need to push her luck.

"This soul is a gift." They said. And they began to spin the soul threads together, "They will be an equal. Unchanging. Dynamic. Static. Chaotic." With every word a new thread merged with the steadily-brightening soul.

"A defender. An assailant...An Avenger."

With the final word of God, the soul was finished. But, barring the confusion of all those conflicting traits, Sera was caught up on the first sentence of this new soul's purpose.

"A gift to who?"

God did not answer. But that left her with another more pressing question.

"The creation of a new soul is a breath-taking experience to witness," she began carefully, "But why have you called me here?"

In answer, God reached behind themselves to a corner that Sera had not paid attention to and pulled out the tip of a spear. One from Adam's exorcists.

She tensed as God held it up to the fragile new soul. Angelic steel was crafted solely to bring death to the damned. To souls. Was this her punishment? To bear witness to the creation of life, of potential goodness, only to watch it be snuffed out before it even had a chance?

God pressed the spear to the soul, "Your Exorcists should take heed," the spear stabbed into the soul and Sera couldn't help but cry out in despair. But the soul did not whither or fade. She watched as the spear tip was catapulted away at lightning speed, burying itself in the wall across from them.

"And avoid his attention."

Alastor headcanon

His natural smile (without the stitches) is crooked and kinda dorky.

The stitches that make his smile now are perfectly symmetrical and tightly strung. Showing control and perfection.

But after they come free and he can rest his face naturally, his smile is crooked with smile lines and a scrunched up nose, maybe the occasional dimple.

Then there’s Mrs. Cole. The suspicious, strict matron who takes no shit and was probably the one to threaten Tom with institutionalization. 

When Tom was a child she was probably in her prime, but as Tom got older so did she. And as parents (bc Mrs. Cole was probably the closest thing like that for Tom and probably some other orphans too) get older they become less strict... on the younger kids. 

And if there’s anything the older kids can agree on it’s that the younger kids have it way better. And the parent remembers absolutely none of the strict rules they put on the oldest kids. Gaslighting at it’s finest (see kallmekris sibling series on TikTok for inspiration).  

Smol Orphan: *leaves a dead rat and broken glass in another kid’s bed.*

Mrs. Cole: ...

Amy: oh that kid’s done for. 

Dennis: He better say his prayers. 

Mrs. Cole: ...Leave, I’ll clean it. Just don’t do it again. 

Tom: That’s it?! You locked me in my room for 2 weeks after the rabbit incident! 

Billy: You made me write lines on the entire Old Testament when I broke a window!

Mrs. Cole: That doesn’t sound like me. I never did that, you’re all so dramatic. 

Tom: *dark lord energy manifests*

Tom Riddle & The Orphanage

I’ve already talked about the under-utilization of Nobby Leach, but what about the Orphanage? 

As someone who had to live with several people (adults & children both) who made my life miserable and disliked me just as much as I disliked them…there’s no way Tom Riddle was able to avoid them all to the degree canon wants you to believe. 

Sure he has his own room, but he still has to eat, take care of his hygiene, do his chores, go to church, help with the younger children, etc. He’s going to have to interact with the other orphans and matrons at the orphanage, there’s no way around that. 

And some of the other kids may be afraid of him, but children have no fear and are always ready to test boundaries. The adults, Mrs. Cole, especially are already suspicious of him, and you bet the other kids are aware and take advantage of this to taunt and subvert Tom’s authority in front of them. 

Outside of this, there’s also no way to hate everyone and everything at the orphanage all the time. There will be some good moments because that kind of lasting hatred just is…not viable. If not on Tom’s end, then the other kids will undoubtedly become tired of tip-toeing around him. And when the bombs start to fall…no one’s going to give a shit about Tom Riddle and his weirdness, they have bigger things to worry about. And they’re all stuck together anyway. 

Let’s examine some of the relationships Tom had with the other orphans. Tom gets into a fight with Billy Stubbs and, according to Mrs. Cole, hangs his rabbit.  On a trip, Tom lures Denny Bishop & Amy Benson into a cave and traumatized them for life with something so horrible they can’t bear to speak of it.  

Nothing about what caused the argument with Billy Stubbs or why Tom chose those specific orphans to traumatize for life. Because luring two suspicious, jaded orphans into a cave where no one can hear them scream? That would take planning and a big enough motive that Tom thought the risk of Mrs. Cole catching him doing something weird again was worth it. 

But do I believe they were traumatized “for life?” No probably not. This is baby Riddle, not Dark Lord Voldemort, he’s new to the traumatizing children thing. 

So here’s where I go into the more questionable headcanon I have about the orphanage: Tom Riddle has a sibling relationship with these kids he supposedly traumatized. 

Hear me out. 

Tom killed Billy’s rabbit and traumatized Dennis & Amy; how is that sibling-like? 

I can tell you from personal experience. I have 9 siblings (technically) and several cousins who barge into my house uninvited. I also grew up on stories my mom had about her 3 siblings and my grandma had about her 11. My mom pushed her sister off a roof and cut off a piece of her tongue with safety scissors while she was sleeping. Me and the sister closest to my age drive each other crazy. Siblings are the worst to each other. 

Now these kids may not have chosen to be siblings, but rarely does anyone get that choice anyway. (And if they do, they have moments where they regret it).  

It first starts out with annoying the shit out of each other. You know, barging into their room and not closing the door when they leave, ganging up on the youngest (probably Tom), stealing each other’s toys and hiding them-Oh. OH. 

…See where I’m going there? 

Then once they get older they grow to tolerate each other and gang up on the much more frustrating younger generation of kids who’ve taken up residence in their orphanage. They’ll have to find a compromise on splitting up chores and they’ll need to have the option to talk to people they’re age. Cue reluctant siblings who refuse to admit their siblings. 

Tom Riddle: Why do I get the night shift again?

Amy Benson, to Dennis: Hey, remember that time Tom dragged us to a cave and traumatized us?

Billy Stubbs: And killed my rabbit?

Dennis Bishop: And stole my toys? 

Tom Riddle: You’re never letting this go are you. 

Dennis, Amy, & Billy: Never. 

These 4 kids grew up together and, if they were not adopted-out, grew into adulthood together. 

TL:DR

Tom Riddle does not give off only-child vibes. Discuss. 

Angelic Alastor AU

The throuple's types:

Lilith: Gentlemen who drinks respect women juice, and can make her laugh, lil silly and goofy at times, who values her choices and decisions as an equal regardless of her standing as a mortal or a woman ahem Adam

Lucifer: Tall lmao headstrong individuals with elegance and a sharp wit and maybe has a sadistic streak lmao

Alastor: Powerful, defiant dreamers who sees beauty and potential in the most unlikely places, brimming with hope and wonder

Damian's new classmate was what most people would deem as strange, Damian however could not see him as anything other than suspicious. Daniel Knight had joined in the midst of the school year, claiming to have moved here with his father Fredric Knight (first area of suspicion, a parent willingly moving both them and their child to Gotham) for a new start following his fathers divorce. The boy was reclusive when not spoken to directly, however he would not stop talking when a topic of his interest would come up. After searching further into his past (as he does with all his classmates) Damian found a relatively normal past, the only outstanding things being a noticeable drop in grades at the beginnings of freshman year relating to an undisclosed accident resulting in lichtenberg scarring starting from Daniels palm, and presumably up his arm being hidden by his sleeve. Apparently this accident left Daniel with irregular tremors and, every once in a blue moon, seizures. Damian had thought about taking this suspicious blockage of information to Tim or the Bat Computer to be bypassed, however the idea of sharing Daniel this cases existence with the rest of his family for some unexplained reason bothered him greatly, so Damian has come to the decision to figure out Knight’s true intentions on his own.

Meanwhile Danny’s just trying to live his new, semi-normal life in peace. After a reveal gone wrong results in some good old vivisection, Jazz Sam and Tucker recruit the help of Clockwork to find Danny a new home, where he can heal from both the physical and mental wounds. Clockwork ends up dumping Danny into the DC universe alongside Fright Knight, who was insistent on going with him, feeling responsible in helping to protect his young prince now since he feels he failed the first time. So with a bit of spacetime razzle dazzle, Tucker messing with stuff he probably shouldn't have messed with and a very tearful goodbye with promises to check in every day, Danny goes off to start his new life as Daniel Knight. It was going ok so far, he took half the year to himself, focusing on healing. Also so Frighty could adjust to the whole pretending to be human thing. Danny doesn't have any friends yet, and to be honest hasn't made the effort to make any (Jazz would be disappointed if she knew that), but there's this one boy in Danny's class who might be even weirder than him. Danny can feel Damian's eyes on him, knows how he follows him around without a sound (Danny really shouldn't be able to tell, he only knows because he isn't fully human(and in a weird way, Danny thinks that's kinda cool)), and whenever they do make eye contact Danny can see and feel the boy fluster and shy away.

Maybe he just needs a friend too.

Zuko attends Izumi's career day at school and everyone in the class is like! The firelord is coming to our school! And the teacher has the class prepare all these questions about governing and politics. And Zuko shows up in an apron and teaches the class how to make tea.

crying she and cake did not gaf that he lost his fiance when they saw that video

also little shitpost comic i made based on this theory/speculation

the audacity of that guy