The Amount Of Time That The Ancient Egyptian Civilisation Lasted Is Just So Mind Boggling. It Lasted

i feel like the most important piece of wisdom i can impart on teenagers is that no one–no one–knows what the fuck they’re doing

my brother is 26 years old, makes $200k a year, and just bought a house with his fiance. he’s the success story you hear about but never actually meet in person, but it all happened by accident. he wanted to go to college for clarinet performance, but he got rejected from all the top schools. so he decided to major in physics instead, and then went on to get a doctorate to put off being an adult for a few more years. but then he ended up dropping out halfway through the program and accepting a job with google as a software engineer. so to reiterate: my brother majored in something he was not interested in, and then he got a job that had nothing to do with his degree. 

he isn’t successful because he had some master plan he followed, he just stumbled around blindly until something worked out. and that’s what we’re all doing–i majored in political science and now i do customer service for a company that makes industrial-sized gas detection monitors. the marketing director at my company has a degree in biology, and my mom has an MBA and works at a middle school.  no one knows what they’re doing, we’re all just trying different things until something works out.

so if you don’t have a plan, that’s fine. most of us don’t. and even those of us who do, don’t usually end up doing the thing they thought they would. it’s okay to relax and let life carry you wherever it’s gonna carry you. because even though a lot of us don’t end up doing the thing we wanted, most of us end up happy anyway.

Al's dad does the dad thing where Alastor will tell him about something he likes and his dad will say nothing, do the 'hmmm' sound, and then buy him that thing multiple times for the next several years.

Alastor, the Radio Demon: ...

His Dad: hmmm

*buys a shit ton of radios and radio equipment, a lot of them duplicates of eachother, some of it unusable*

Alastor: I already have this model.

His Dad: So? Keep it 'cause it's gonna be worth a shit ton of money when you hit retirement age!

Alastor: I- I'm over hundred years old already?!

Alastor's Father

WARNING: period-typical racism, WW1, race-based murder

I see a lot of fics where Alastor's dad is a piece of shit and abusive, but I'd love to see one where Al's dad actually loves and cares for his family but was taken from them when Alastor was too young to remember much about him.

Maybe he died as a soldier in WW1 or made it back to the US only to be killed some other way. If he was black, then those odds go way up unfortunately.

We don't know much about Al's parents but if it's still canon that he's creole, then that means at least one of his parents has black ancestry. A lot of the fics I've seen give him a black mom/white dad, but I think it would be interesting if both his parents were mixed too.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is if Al's dad was killed when he was still little, then they wouldn't recognize each other in hell now would they?

Al's dad sure does love his family, but everyone else can fuck off. And ooh boi did he earn his place in hell trying to protect them, not that heaven cared about his motives.

The second he finds out Alastor the Radio Demon is his baby boy? Hell hath no fury like a protective parent. He doesn't give a flying fuck about the atrocities Alastor has caused, that's his baby and no one is going to hurt him while he's not double-dead.

DP x DC Prompt #2 - Fenton Cafe

Inspired by that one underground bar post @stealingyourbones

The Fentons move to Gotham to support Jazz at her new college and open up a small cafe on the first floor of their blimp house to earn money. 

Now the Fentons moved to a sketchy part of Gotham cause that’s the only place they could land safely. It doesn’t take long for rogues to slither in looking for easy cash. 

And promptly get blasted by the Fenton anti-ghost Defense System. They wake up to Maddie and Jack tending to their wounds and shoving a tin of fudge into their hands, respectively. The goon/rogue gets booted by Danny after being forced to listen to his parent’s ghost rant for several hours. 

Weirdly, it doesn’t take long before the cafe becomes a safe haven for rogues and goons alike to relax. But then the bats arrive to get a handle on the new ‘villain hideout.’

The Fenton’s don’t discriminate. The bats get the same treatment as the rogues all the way down to the complimentary fudge. No one comes into their house with that kind of attitude. 

It’s a Violence-free unless you’re a Fenton zone. 

But It’s a real party when Danny’s rogues start showing up. 

Hello, StaticRadio Nation!

the words "he's indisposed, he just had a baby" is exactly the type of dialogue one can only expect from Doom Patrol and precisely the type of shit that doesn't faze us. your fav show could never

A really funny idea would be that practically all main Alastor ships are canon, but Alastor HIMSELF is the only one who doesn't know he's in a polycule. (RadioRose, RadioHusk, RadioDust, RadioApple)

(They don't tell him because he doesn't handle being confronted with caring about others very well, and the last time it was implied, he ghosted and didn't talk to Husk for almost a decade. Alastor is very dedicated to being the untouchable Radio Demon, and if you try to make him come to terms with the idea of being Perceived, he freaks out.)

And so, when Angel and Husk notice Lucifer and Alastor starting to circle each other, they grab Lucifer to tell him the Rules of the Polycule.

H: "Hey, we noticed you giving Al eyes, we wanted to let you know how to go about this since he's dating us too."

L: "Oh shit! I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

H: "Nah, you're welcome in. We just gotta give you the ground rules because the last time I didn't, it didn't end well for anyone."

L: "What."

A: "Smiles isn't big on being seen as soft, so you just gotta avoid letting him know he IS, is all."

H: "Here's our current schedule, let us know the best times for you and we'll adjust it fairly."

L: "You....you have a SCHEDULE???"

And they hand him a sheet that's basically like:

No telling Alastor about the polycule!

No telling Alastor anything that implies he is soft or cares about you or anyone in the polycule! (He WILL disappear for another 7 years, and everyone else in the polycule will be mad at you)

No trying to force Alastor into doing anything with you (Obviously!)

Ask before joining someone else's Alastor Time(tm) (One on one time isn't always required, but it's just rude to hijack it for no reason)

Try to stick to the schedule the best you can (adjustments are allowed with prior notice, other conflicts, or Alastor himself asking you to do something outside your time)

Dating others (in and outside the polycule) is fine, just be respectful

Respect everyone else in the polycule!

VOX IS NOT ALLOWED IN THE POLYCULE

DO NOT LET VOX SEE THE SCHEDULE

L: "What's...what's with numbers 8 and 9? The TV guy???"

H: "Ugh, he's the reason FOR these rules! I tried to let him join me and Rosie a few years back, and instead he tried to make Alastor his own, permanently. Not only did he tell Alastor that they were dating, and tried to force him to join the Vees, he tried to kick me and Rosie out of the picture! Dealing with that mess was a NIGHTMARE. It took Rosie months to get him to talk to her again, and he practically ignored me before he completely disappeared. We JUST got everything back to normal after that mess."

L: "Uh, okay. Got it, no Vox."

And then, without Alastor ever noticing, he just gets another member of his polycule.

You know I bet Vader could easily fix the whole Ever given Suez Canal problem. Smh at us weaklings. (This is a joke, I wasn’t sure it came across as funny enough)

He could, but whether or not he would depends on if Luke makes him.

Enemies-to-lovers, but instead of featuring a villain redemption arc, the heroic one is getting progressively more corrupt, unhinged and fucked up, and the one who was originally the clear-cut villain out of the two is just like "well mark me down as scared and horny"

DP x DC

Okay, so I’ve read a lot of these (like, a lot) and I’ve seen a lot of “Danny’s friends and family die and the bats adopt him” but I haven’t really seen any where Sam, Tucker, and Jazz come back as ghosts, not even an off handed conversation explaining the possibility.

So what do I want? I want a fic that starts the same way all the others do, but when it gets to the “bats figure out the ghost stuff” I want Danny to confide in them about how confused he is because really:

Should he even be mourning if they come back as ghosts? Like in that case, it’s more like they went anyway for a while and eventually came back, a little changed, but essentially that’s what happens. But just because they have a higher chance at becoming ghosts doesn’t mean that they will.

And even if they do come back, time is wonky in the infinite realms, so they could end up in any time, and it takes a while to form a ghost, so that could be 20 years from when they died. Also, we don’t really know that much about where ghosts even form and the infinite realms are not named metaphorically, so that’s another problem.

What I’m saying is, we have so much lore in this fandom and it really makes me sad that people use dead as an end-all be-all when the whole thing is literally about the afterlife. Dive into the lore, explore how emotionally confusing that would be to a boy who lost everything. Explore how he would feel, wondering if he could even grieve, if he should grieve, if he didn’t and waited and they never came back, like there are so many angst and fluff possibilities.

When you summon the devil and he keeps you company at night.