Bruh Lmao

October 2020 Tarot Challenge

Hello everyone, this challenge was made with the 2020 October calendar in mind but you could apply this to any month. Allow this challenge to guide you through your October up to the Samhain full moon.

What will I get out of this challenge?

What can I expect from this month?

What should my efforts be focused on?

How can I prepare myself for the upcoming week?

What is my current mental state?

What is my current physical state?

What is my current spiritual state?

What is the interaction between my mind, body, and spirit?

How can I reap the benefits of my efforts?

How can I rest my spirit and find peace?

How can I take on this week with an open mind and spirit?

What in my life is draining my energy?

How can I energize my mind, body, and spirit to take on the day? 

What am I missing in my life?

How can I prepare for a new start?

What goals are most important to me?

What is the first step to pursuing my goals?

What is the root of my suffering?

How can I let go of pain?

What am I holding onto?

What relationships should I focus on?

What is holding me back?

How can I push past my doubts and keep moving forward?

What can I expect from the sun in Scorpio?

How can I honor my ancestors?

What are my spirit guides trying to tell me?

How can I heal my wounds from this month?

How can I connect with my higher self?

What do I need to do to prepare for the full moon?

What did I accomplish this month?

What do my ancestors want to communicate to me on this day when the veil is most thin?

five things that made me fall in love with you. or maybe even more...

this awkward joke, my favorite first awkward joke. it was so strange, but it was the first time you made me feel special, even in this strange and sarcastic way

our friendship. it was so warm, so familiar, so close. just like rainy summer day when something is not supposed to be happening, but still happens, yet feels really really good, our friendship was the most interesting interaction with anyone in this world

trust. it is not even the fact that i can tell you anything as much as the fact that i really want to. Or maybe it is a mixture of both that makes me feel so secure with you

mutuality that never in my life i felt so much, before you. those meaningless fights on who loves more are fun, but honestly i feel like we both give out full 100% into this relationships which makes me extremely grateful.

it feels like it was yesterday. first time i realized that i’m falling for you, first kiss, first i love you, first time that i saw you in my future. It is just doesn’t feel like burden, and i don’t feel like it ever will. It is so easy to be with you, because it just feels right. there are challenges and struggles, but i don’t feel like they matter at all. nothing ever makes me feel like giving up, because whatever it is, just having you in my life is so god damn worth it.

you are not like other people. you look at things in this different but also interesting way that always made me wonder and made me want to explore them. I can’t get tired talking to you, because even though we are same, yet manage to be so different. I know everything i need to know about you, while actually i don’t know anything at all, because you are too much to explore, and i’m willing to test my luck until our last talk.

🦋girlfriend aesthetic🦋

when we drive i will sit next to you and dance to all kinds of songs, meanwhile singing even when i don’t know lyrics

cook you food and bring it for our dates

creating playlists just for you so you will remember about me when you listen to it

hand-made presents with main concept to maintain memories

call you by cute nick names

write you love letters and big text messages about how much i appreciate your existence

hug you from behind and kiss you in the forehead

facetime you at night to fall asleep, but only after you to admire your cute sleepy face

bindrunes!! 

Nina Simone performing on a TV show filmed at BBC Television Centre in London, 1966. 

Photos by David Redfern

i have to read this one

“He is half my soul, as the poets say.”

 - The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

I finished Madeline Miller’s The Song of Achilles a few days ago. I loved it. It is so beautifully written, I found myself repeatedly wailing aloud at sentences. This year I’ve been making an effort to read more fiction (I started out with the Patrick Melrose novels, which I loved) as I spend most of my time reading nonfiction for work. The Song of Achilles. Would recommend.

Patroclus: “The word I use is hubris. Our word for arrogance that scrapes the stars, for violence and towering rage as ugly as the gods.” 

I’m now just over a third of the way through the Odyssey. Same translator, Robert Fagles, but wow, the tone is different. Not only am I understanding better why people think the person/people who composed the Iliad differ from those who did the Odyssey, but I’m also understanding why more people seem to prefer the latter. Its pace isn’t as violent and relentless as the Iliad and yet the energy still feels greater somehow. I can far more easily imagine the Odyssey being performed, than the Iliad. But I still find the Iliad incredibly… impressive, is the word. Impressive.

img: Romare Bearden, Circe, 1977

Astro 101

Lesson IV, Part 1, Post XXV

Planets in Houses

First House

Sun in First will give you vitality, leaderships skills, and a need to Express yourself.

Moon in First has a need to be appreciated they are intuitive and emotional.

Mercury in First has a thirst for knowledge and a need to discuss personal interests. They see everything from a logical stand point.

Venus in First tend to well liked. The have a taste for the finer things in life like beauty and art.

Mars in First have boundless energy and a need to take charge and assert oneself.

Jupiter in First tend to be elaborate and optimistic foreigne sites and topics interest them.

Saturn in First tend to be serious individuals with a quiet drive to successes. They likely have struggled with self esteem some point in their life.

Uranus in First have a need to Express there originality. They often experiences both positive and negative drastic changes.

Neptune in First have a mysterious allure. They tend to be in snyc with everything and every one around them. They can get carried anyway by their beliefs and have trouble with reality.

Pluto in First tend to go through periods of reinventing themselves.

Second House

Sun in Second is someone who is very concerned with their personal value and material world.

Moon in Second is someone who’s security is very important to them. The need to be comforted by shelter, food, and clothing.

Mercury in Second has an enterprising mind.

Venus in Second is attracted to symbols of success and partners who can provide for them.

Mars in Second are very ambitious, even if it means taking their time to get what they want.

Jupiter in Second tend to be very fortunate with high esteem.

Saturn in Second may work hard and achieve little. Success is delayed.

Uranus in Second tends to fluctuate in their values and possession.

Neptune in Second can inhance financial wealth and popularity or hinder it.

Pluto in Second can transform wealth and esteem positively or negatively. Greed can work against you.

Third House

Sun in Third House has a thirst for knowledge and communication. You have favorable relations with your relatives and community.

Moon in Third House allows their emotions to affect their mental focus and conversation. Intuition and memory are favored.

Mercury in Third House tend to be very quick minded with many intellectual and diverse interests. Travel may be common.

Venus in Third House are readers and communicators. There is favorable relations with relatives and community.

Mars in Third House are aggressive talkers that can lead to relatives and community disputes.

Jupiter in Third House has a taste for culture and travel. They absorb knowledge easily.

Saturn in Third House may struggle being heard. School or speech or socialization may have hit road blocks when young. You may have some responsibility to certain relatives and neighbors.

Uranus in Third House jumps from one focus to another. They absorb knowledge through random experience. Travel is often indicated.

Neptune in Third House has a visionary mind and memory. Some struggle communicating their vision. There is a wedge between xertain relatives and neighbors. Usually spiritual and intuitive.

Pluto in Third House is capable of transforming their environment often just my speaking their minds.

fourth House

Sun in Fourth House are very focused on their domestic lives. Their family, their home, and where they come from. They yearn to learn about themselves.

Moon in Fourth House has a deep emotion tie to their parent(s). They are often nostalgic for their childhood. Frequent change in residence is likely.

Mercury in Fourth House feels at home with intellectual pursuits. Healthy discussion was common in childhood. Frequency change in residence is likely.

Venus in Fourth House have close ties to their family and home. You abstain financial gain through family or property.

Mars in Fourth House learn independence early in childhood. Upbringing was energetic and in some cases hostile. You may have been put in a position where you were always competing or butting heads with another family member.

Jupiter in Fourth House thrive at home. Their childhood was happy and memorable. There may have been many family trips or spiritual involvement.

Saturn in Fourth House likely had too much responsibility and restriction growing up. They may of had to care for a I’ll parent or younger children. Discipline may have been harsh. Having children of their own may come late in life.

Uranus in Fourth House struggle for stability. Stability may have been hard to achieve in childhood. Home life was unusual and may of been lacking a foundation all together. This pattern may follow you into adulthood.

Neptune in Fourth House indicates a struggle to see things how they really are when growing up. You may have been sheltered from financial hardship, domestic violance, or societal upheaval. Intuition or prophetic dreams are possible.

Pluto in Fourth House indicates a need to transform the domestic experience. Upbringing may have been traumatic.

Fifth House

Sun in Fifth House requires pleasurable pursuits. Friendships, romance, hobbies, interests and arts take up a lot of your energy. Children likely bring you good fortune.

Moon in Fifth House enhances your creativity and bond with others. There is a deep need to Express your talent with others. Children is likely.

Mercury in Fifth House seek a intellectually stimulating bond. One where you can gush over common interests. Theater or script writing might be of interest.

Venus in Fifth House is happy sharing their love and joy with others. Children are often treasured and may possess a creative talent.

Mars in Fifth House need to expel energy in a relaxed setting such as a gym. Romances can be short lived.

Jupiter in Fifth House has a healthy relationship with art, romance, and children.

Saturn in Fifth House may have had to deal with too much responsibility imposed on them. The can have difficulties relaxing and expressing themselves. Child rearing may be delayed or encounter road blocks.

Uranus in Fifth House have unconventional relationships and hobbies. Your patently style is likely very progressive and modern.

Neptune in Fifth House is likely very intune with children of their generation with a deep understanding of their needs and wants. Creative gifts may be present.

Pluto in Fifth House may release some transformative art that reaches its entire generation.

Sixth House

Sun in Sixth House are hard workers that provide a service to their community at large. Often intune with our physical bodies and the impact of eastern and western medicine.

Moon in Sixth House will notice a direct relationship to their emotional state to their physical health and work performance. Their weight may fluctuate. Interaction with animals will bring you luck.

Mercury in Sixth House is mentally agile in the work setting. Work keeps you occupied from going astray. You are mentally thorough but must make sure your thoughts are going to good use. Excess stress can cause physical anomalies.

Venus in Sixth House is likely to be healthy and establish positive relationships in the work setting. One might meet their romantic partner at work.

Mars in Sixth House tend to be very physically active and require an exercise driven outlet. They are very ambitious but can stir up trouble in the work force.

Jupiter in Sixth House are usually are very healthy, though should watch their diet. There may be a interest in helping aid in underdeveloped countries.

Saturn in Sixth House may suffer a weak immune system and have to watch their health carefully or the may need to learn to establish a good work ethic.

Uranus in Sixth House goes through sporadic changes to their physical bodies and job titles. Extreme sports may be of interest.

Neptune in Sixth House maybe have weakened immune systems. They are better suited to jobs with loose guidelines and allow for creative reign.

Pluto in Sixth House your work can be transformative to its generation and to yourself. Your impact may be positive or negative, but, powerful whatever it is.

*stay tuned for house seven through twelfth!*

If only I had the balls to actually end it all

Beginnig of Fall - Academia Aesthetic

hair in a messy bun, smudged eyeliner, dark red fall-y lipstick, wrongly buttoned blouse, comfy jeans, black boots, massive HEADPHONES

brown seemingly bottomless bag, carried over one shoulder, filled with a view notebooks and collegeblocks, a lot of loose pencils and pens

happily chatting with friends on the way to class

morning fogginess and wett grass from the cold nights

sunny days, often cloudy, orange and red and brown leaves crunch while walking over them

Keep reading

I can never find the right words to tell people what I’m thinking. Telling them I’m tired doesn’t work, but I can’t seem to vocalize that I’m mentally exhausted and sick of existing. Telling them I’m sad doesn’t work either, but I can’t explain that I’m struggling not to kill myself and that the joy in everything in my life is gone and when I wake up to the sun in my eyes, I have to struggle to get myself out of bed because most of me didn’t even want to wake up at all. I can’t tell them I’m numb because what I’m feeling is so much more complex than numb and I don’t have the vocabulary to tell them that I feel like I’m drowning and it terrifies me that I feel nothing as it’s happening, and that my insides want to scream but I can’t even find it in me to shed a tear anymore, that every single aspect of my life feels like it’s shaded in grey because someone sucked out all the colors but I can hardly even remember what colors are because I can no longer remember a time I didn’t feel like this. No, I don’t know how to say that. So I just whisper “I’m fine.”