“Attack Of The Morning Hair: Y/N Vs. Gravity”

“The Original Disaster Talk”

Teen!Bakugo x Mitsuki Bakugo (his mom)

Tags: Humor, Embarrassing Parenting, Family Chaos, Origin Story

---

There are a few moments in every man’s life that leave a permanent scar.

For Katsuki Bakugo, age 13, that moment came on a random Tuesday afternoon.

He’d just gotten home from school, stormed upstairs like he always did, and was about to open incognito mode for very educational purposes when he heard the knock.

“Oi, Katsuki,” came the voice of Mitsuki Bakugo, aka his mom, aka a hurricane in heels. “We need to talk.”

Bakugo blinked, suspicious. “About what?”

She opened the door before he could protest.

“You’re gettin’ taller. You’re smellin’ worse. And you’ve been hogging the bathroom like you’re hiding a whole-ass relationship in there,” she said, arms crossed.

Bakugo’s soul left his body. “W-what?! No, I haven’t—what are you talking about?!”

“Puberty, dumbass,” she snapped. “It’s happening. I’m not letting your sweaty little teenage man-hormones wreck this house without a warning.”

He turned bright red. “I DON’T HAVE MAN-HORMONES!”

“Bullshit,” Mitsuki said, tossing a pamphlet onto his bed titled “So You’re Growing Hair There, Huh?”

Bakugo stared at it in horror. “What the hell is this?!”

“Your dad was too much of a coward to have this talk with you, so now it’s my job,” she said, sitting on the edge of his bed like this was a normal Tuesday. “Let’s start with the basics. Boners happen. Deal with it. You’re gonna get them at the worst possible times. Don’t point ‘em at people.”

“OH MY GOD,” Bakugo howled, grabbing a pillow and screaming into it.

Mitsuki continued unfazed. “If you’re gonna, y’know, touch yourself, do it in private. Wash your hands. Don’t get weird with socks. Don’t break the plumbing. Don’t google anything that ends with ‘hub’. And if I ever catch you lying about what you’re doing in the shower—”

“I’M NEVER SHOWERING AGAIN,” Bakugo yelled from under the pillow.

“—you will be grounded, and I will tell Auntie Inko.”

“PLEASE STOP TALKING!”

She stood, patting his head like she’d just taught him how to tie his shoes. “You’ll survive. Just remember: if something’s leaking or growing and you don’t know why, talk to a damn adult.”

Bakugo peeked out. “You’re the worst.”

She smirked. “You’ll thank me when you’re a dad and your kid starts cryin’ because of a math test and a surprise boner.”

He would not thank her.

Not for a long, long time.

---

End Scene

Thus began the generational trauma of Bakugo men being emotionally damaged by The Talk. And so, the legend lives on…

Ima post random drafts

Izuku Midoriya, as a dad 🪴

Genre: fluff/comfort

Warnings// Mild description of birth, a miscarriage, but anything else is just fluff!

AGED UP AU!

TELL ME IF YALL WANT MORE LIKE THIS

Izuku Midoriya:

☆☆☆

-When you first told him the news it looked like he was gonna pass out, he was excited to be a father again, but also scared that yku were gonna loose this one too.

-When you're pregnant, he will do his best to protect you, like he will literally baby proof every little thing in your house just so you or the baby don't get hurt. (SO SWEET😭)

-He will always have a hand on the tummy to check if it's alive and well, when he sees you waddle in your house he immediately follows you and walks behind you just so you don't fall because he can't handle another miscarriage.

-When you have morning sickness he will do his absolute best to make you food that doesn't make you nauseous.

-His friends from UA will always come to check up on you or visit you, to make sure everything is okay. Even bakugo visits sometime, to see the little gremlin he was gonna he an uncle to.

-His mother LOVES you, and she's really excited to be a grandmother. She always helps you when izuku isn't home because of patroling or work, theres so many times where you've had a false contraction and she immediately falls into panic but at the end everything gets sorted out.

-She also often just visits without asking to check on how everything's going, izuku has given up on deciding when his mother can visit because he knows it's a conversation he cant win.

-At night you often have nightmares because of your last miscarriage, izuku wakes up to you whining in your sleep and tossing around. He puts his arms around you and strokes your belly slowly while telling you sweet words of comfort.

-When your labour started you didn't know how to react, firstly some liquid spilled out and you got confused, then after a few minute's a strong wave of pain washed over you, that was when it clicked.

-You quickly grabbed your phone and dialed Inko's number, telling her what had happened in those few minutes. I'm not kidding, in under 3 minutes she already was bursting throught your door with a panicked expression her face. She quickly called an ambulance and sat you down in the sofa to steady your breathing.

-Just like izuku, she mumbled very much. You had to stop yourself from yelling at her. When the ambulance arrived, she quickly helped you get up and walk towards the door before some paramedics took care of the situation. While you and inko were seated in the ambulance (you laying in the bed thingy) she kept reassuring you that everything would be okay and that the birth would go well.

-Inko already had called izuku about your condition but he wasn't answering, probably because he was very busy at the time. As you arrived to the hospital the contractions got so much worse, you swore you saw jesus bringing you to the other side for a second.

-As the nurses made you comfortable in your room you couldn't help but worry about izuku, did something happen that made him unable to answer your calls? Did he get seriously hurt? So many questions flowed your head which worried you.

-As time passed you got more and more dialted and the contractions became closer and closer. Inko warned the nurses and made them look after you and check up on you. Panic set your body as you were told how far you were dialated. 10 centimeters.

-more time passed and soon you were laying in the hospital bed, cussing and throwing a curse on the poor nurses and inko that surrounded you, but what could you say? Labour hurt.

-Your whines and sobs quickly quieted down as a loud cry filled the room, you looked down to see a crying baby that flared It's arms in the air. It's face was red and angry as air filled It's lungs, it was covered in many different liquids and had a good pair of lungs.

-The nurses washed and packed the baby in a soft blanket before handing it to you, soon after the birth, you found out it's gender. A beautiful baby boy.

-You leaned back with your baby in your arms, his cries quietly calming down as soft coos came out of his mouth. Even if it hurt it was worth it.

•Some time later•

- Inko sat in a chair close to the bed where you were laying on sleeping, her peaceful snores echoing thought the room.

-Suddenly, a loud phone call was heard coming from Inko's phone placed on the table next to where she was sitting. The contact calling her was named as "my sweet munchkin" which you chuckled at, it was of course your beloved husband.

-But unfortunately the loud ringing woke up your baby, his face scrunching up before beginning to wail loudly. Inko picked up the phone and answered with a little "Hello?"

-Izukus panicked voice could be heard in the background, talking about how he was on his way to the hospital and asking if you were fine. It made you snicker.

-When he arrived to your room he couldn't help but fall to his knees crying happy tears when he saw the baby, your sons eyes were green while he had your hair color. It was everything izuku wanted.

-He moved closer to where you sat, gently picking the baby out of your arms to hold his son himself. He sniffled as he buried his face into your shoulder.

This was his happiest day of his life

☆☆☆

Comment If you want me to do more characters!:)

Hii, can I request you do a bakugo x reader, with them risking getting caught in public doing it?…

“Can’t Wait” (NSFW, Public Risk)

It started with a look.

You were walking back from dinner with Class 1-A, a few blocks from the dorms. Everyone was laughing, teasing, full of food and energy—but Bakugo had been quiet. His hand stayed on the small of your back. His gaze? Burning.

The second your friends turned the corner ahead of you, he yanked you back into a narrow alley, shadowed and quiet except for the thrum of city lights and your own sharp inhale.

“Katsuki—what if someone sees—”

He kissed you before you could finish, hard and rough, pinning your back to the wall with his body. His hands were under your shirt in seconds, calloused fingers skimming hot across your skin.

“I’ve been wanting you all fuckin’ night,” he growled into your mouth, voice like gravel. “You think I care if someone sees you moaning for me?”

Your stomach flipped.

It was reckless. Stupid. The others could turn around, call your name, walk right past the alley. But the danger only heightened the tension. You dragged your nails down his back and kissed him deeper, harder.

His hand slid down between your legs, under your skirt, fingers teasing your underwear aside. “Already wet?”

“You’re the one who keeps whispering filthy things in my ear at dinner,” you panted.

He chuckled low in his throat, slipping two fingers inside you, curling them just right. “You like the risk, don’t you?”

You whimpered, gripping his jacket, bucking against his hand as he pressed his palm against your clit, working you faster. The distant sound of someone laughing—close.

“Katsuki—someone’s gonna—”

He kissed your neck, biting softly. “Let them.”

Your orgasm hit fast, hard, pulsing around his fingers as you gasped into his shoulder, legs shaking. He pulled away just in time to shove his fingers in his mouth, sucking them clean with a satisfied grunt.

“Better hurry up,” he smirked. “They’ll notice we’re gone.”

You fixed your clothes quickly, trying to catch your breath as he adjusted his pants, completely unbothered.

Just as you stepped out of the alley, Mina turned around.

“There you two are!” she called, grinning. “You look… flushed.”

You smiled way too hard. “Must be the walk.”

Kaminari narrowed his eyes. “Wait… where were you guys just now?”

Bakugo slung an arm around your waist, smirking like the devil. “Getting some air.”

Your legs nearly gave out right then.

“Y/N vs. The Filter (Spoiler: There Is None)”

or: That Time Y/N Roasted the Entire Class Before Lunch

---

It started during homeroom.

Y/N had walked into class, late (again), sipping a suspiciously large energy drink and wearing two mismatched socks and a hoodie that definitely wasn’t hers.

“Morning,” she muttered, plopping into her seat.

Silence.

Aizawa raised a brow. “Y/N. Why are you late?”

Y/N blinked. “Because society.”

“…Try again.”

“Because my alarm went off, and I just didn’t respect it.”

“…One more time.”

“I stopped to watch a pigeon fight a squirrel. It felt important.”

Aizawa sighed. “Whatever. Sit down.”

“Oh, I am sitting,” she said, then looked around the room. “And judging.”

Everyone turned to her.

That was when it began.

---

THE NO-FILTER MONOLOGUE

“Denki, you have the fashion sense of a confused lemon. I love you, but why are you wearing two necklaces? Are you dating yourself?”

“Bakugo, I mean this with love — you scream like a dying vacuum cleaner and somehow still pull.”

“Iida, why do you run like someone poured espresso in your engine oil?”

“Todoroki. King. You look like you glitch in real life. Like I stare at you too long and forget my PIN number.”

“Ochako, I adore you, but you sneeze like a cartoon bunny and it freaks me out every time.”

“Sero’s elbows scare me.”

“Sato has main character energy but like, from a sports anime that got canceled too early.”

“Jirou’s music taste makes me feel like I’m about to be stabbed in an emotionally fulfilling way.”

“Momo, your brain is terrifying. I feel like you could invent a murder weapon out of boba tea.”

“Aoyama blinds me once a week. That’s an HR issue.”

“Mina’s energy gives off 'first one to die in a zombie movie but make it iconic.'”

Kirishima: “What about me?”

“You’re too pure. If you ever turn evil, we’re all screwed. You’d kill us and apologize mid-swing.”

Midnight walked in halfway through this and said, “Oh? What’s going on here?”

Y/N turned slowly. “Hi. Love the outfit. You look like if dominatrix Barbie became a pro hero.”

Midnight choked.

Present Mic entered with a coffee and blinked. “Vibe feels chaotic in here. What’d I miss?”

Y/N pointed at him with no hesitation. “You sound like an auctioneer possessed by dubstep.”

“THANK you,” he grinned. “Finally, someone sees it.”

Aizawa, rubbing his temples: “Y/N, what is wrong with you today?”

She sipped her drink. “I had four hours of sleep and a can of something called ‘Monster Lightning Rage X-TREME.’ I can see sound now.”

Bakugo slammed his desk. “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!”

Y/N turned calmly. “Genetics and unresolved trauma.”

---

Later, in the dorms…

“Do you regret anything you said today?” Uraraka asked.

Y/N paused. “Not even a little.”

“Not even the elbow comment?”

“I meant what I said, Sero’s elbows look like they have side quests.”

Sero: “You know what? Fair.”

---

To Be Continued…

"Static Hearts"

The sun had just started to set, casting a golden glow over the U.A. training grounds. You sat on the bleachers, nursing a bottle of water after a long training session. Denki Kaminari was pacing nervously nearby, chewing on his lower lip.

You watched him out of the corner of your eye. He kept glancing your way, then turning back around and muttering something to himself.

“Denki,” you called. “Are you okay? You look like you're about to short-circuit.”

He jumped—literally—and gave you a sheepish grin. “Haha, yeah! Totally fine. Just, uh… processing. Y’know. Brain stuff.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Since when do you process before doing something dumb?”

“Ouch,” he said, mock-pouting. “That was rude. Accurate, but rude.”

You laughed, and he rubbed the back of his neck, the blush rising to his cheeks like a voltage spike. “Okay, uh… can I tell you something? Like… serious something?”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Yeah, of course.”

He took a deep breath and stepped in front of you, eyes unusually steady despite the sparks dancing along his fingertips.

“I know I joke around a lot. And I know I’m not exactly the smoothest guy in the class—”

“You once flirted with a vending machine,” you reminded him.

“That machine ate my money, it was a declaration of war,” he said, flustered, but quickly shook his head. “Anyway. The point is… I like you. A lot. Like, a lot a lot.”

You blinked, stunned, as he kept going, words tumbling out in a rush.

“And I’m not saying I expect you to feel the same, but I just—every time you smile, I feel like I could overload. In a good way! Not in the ‘eyes-go-blank-I’m-a-human-lightning-rod’ kind of way. I just… had to say it.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then you smiled.

“You’re such a dork.”

He groaned and dropped his head into his hands. “Oh nooo, that’s it. I’m fried. I blew it.”

You reached out and tugged his sleeve gently. “Denki.”

He peeked at you through his fingers.

“I like you too.”

His eyes widened. “Wait—really? Like, seriously? No short-circuiting joke?”

“No joke,” you said, standing up to face him. “I think you’re funny. And brave. And sweet. And yeah… a little dumb sometimes.”

He grinned, the electricity in his hair sparking wildly now. “That’s fair.”

Then, suddenly unsure, he held out his hand. “So, uh… can I take you on a real date? No vending machines involved.”

You laced your fingers through his. “You’d better.”

---

"First Flight"

The world found out in the quietest, most intimate way possible.

No live stream.

No statement.

Just a photo.

Posted to Hawks’ official social media, it was timestamped at 2:17 AM.

The image was simple — raw and honest. A newborn baby lay peacefully in a clear hospital bassinet, swaddled in a pale cream blanket, her tiny hand peeking out just enough to show the faintest hint of a feather-soft birthmark on her wrist.

The hospital tag on her ankle read:

Takami, Soraya

DOB: April 8th, 2:03 AM

Perched on the edge of the bassinet was one single crimson feather — unmistakably Hawks’.

No faces. No filters.

Just a baby, a feather, and the beginning of everything.

The caption read:

> “Welcome to the world, little bird.

Born strong, born free.

#SorayaTakami #OurGreatestFlight”

---

Hours Earlier…

You were exhausted, glowing with post-birth adrenaline and relief, curled up in the hospital bed with Soraya asleep in your arms. Keigo stood nearby, looking down at you both like he couldn’t believe this was real.

“She’s perfect,” he whispered, brushing a kiss to your forehead.

You smiled sleepily. “You say that like it’s surprising.”

He chuckled. “I knew she'd be beautiful if she looked like you. But I didn’t expect her to already have my pout when she’s hungry.”

You laughed softly, then watched as he slowly walked over to the bassinet. Carefully, reverently, he placed one of his feathers beside her — not for show, not for symbolism.

But to protect.

He stepped back and lifted his phone, hesitating.

“You think… it’s time?” he asked, golden eyes uncertain. “Not for attention. Just… to share her.”

You nodded. “If you’re ready, I’m ready.”

He smiled, the kind of smile only you ever got to see — pure, unguarded, full of love. Then he snapped the photo and sat down beside you, your fingers threading together.

“I never thought I’d care this much about a post,” he whispered.

“Because it’s not a post,” you replied. “It’s a piece of her story.”

---

Moments Later, Online…

Trending Tags:

#SorayaTakami

#BabyBird

#HawksFirstFlight

#HeroDad

Fans were stunned.

The feather. The name. The stillness of the moment. It wasn’t loud or flashy — it was Hawks, but stripped down to his core: a man who had spent his life flying solo, finally grounded by love.

Even fellow heroes responded:

Best Jeanist: “Fashionably wrapped and absolutely precious.”

Fat Gum: “Protect her at all costs. Congrats, featherhead.”

Mt. Lady: “I’m not crying. You’re crying.”

---

Back in the Hospital Room…

Keigo turned off his phone and climbed into bed beside you, careful not to wake the baby in your arms.

“Think she knows she already changed the world?”

You looked down at Soraya’s tiny, sleeping face.

“She changed ours first.”

Keigo smiled, resting his forehead to yours. “She’s our best flight yet.”

hii, I have a request if it’s not too much work. denki x online gf reader. all of his friends think he’s lying about her but for their spring break the reader flies from America to Japan to visit denki for the first time (reader is in a hero course in America aswell) :p

Denki x Online GF!Reader - The Surprise Spring Break Visit

It was a sunny morning in Japan, and the UA campus was buzzing with excitement for the upcoming spring break. Denki Kaminari, the class clown and the most energetic member of Class 1-A, was practically vibrating with excitement. He couldn’t stop talking about his girlfriend — someone who everyone assumed was just an imaginary online relationship.

“You guys, seriously, she’s real! She’s flying in from America! You’ll meet her when she gets here!” Denki insisted for what felt like the hundredth time, his voice bright with enthusiasm as he bounced in his seat.

The others exchanged skeptical glances. They loved Denki, but this was a bit much. Everyone knew he was a bit of a flirt, so they assumed the ‘online girlfriend’ was just another one of his harmless jokes. But Denki had insisted so many times, they couldn’t help but doubt him.

“Yeah, sure, Denki. When we meet her, will she be just as ‘real’ as your other ‘girlfriends’?” Kirishima teased, nudging him with a grin.

“Dude, I’m telling you, this is the real deal!” Denki said, a determined look on his face. “She’s coming all the way from America to meet me! You’ll see.”

The week passed by quickly, and the day of the big arrival came. Denki had been bouncing around all morning, practically shaking with anticipation. He’d made all the arrangements — from the airport pick-up to the meeting spot — and couldn’t wait for his friends to finally believe him.

Finally, the moment came. Denki stood at the airport gate, nervously glancing at the clock, his phone clutched tightly in his hand. A few minutes later, a familiar face appeared, and Denki’s heart leapt in his chest.

There she was. Y/N. His online girlfriend, looking even more stunning in person. Her warm smile was brighter than any of his expectations, and Denki rushed over to meet her, completely ignoring the stunned looks from his classmates who had tagged along.

“Y/N!” Denki grinned, running up to her. Without thinking, he pulled her into a tight hug, lifting her off the ground in excitement. “I can’t believe you’re finally here!”

Y/N laughed, adjusting her bag before wrapping her arms around him. “I missed you too, Denki. It’s so crazy being here… but I’m happy to finally meet you in person.”

The others, standing a bit further away, were frozen in shock. They couldn’t believe it. Denki's online girlfriend was real. They had assumed it was some elaborate joke or a figment of his imagination, but here she was, standing right in front of them, looking exactly like the photos Denki had shown them. She was even more beautiful in person.

“Okay, okay, we need to admit it. He wasn’t lying.” Kirishima said, rubbing the back of his neck, still in disbelief.

Denki's grin widened. “Told you! See, I told you she was real!”

Y/N gave a shy smile and waved at the group, her cheeks turning a light pink. “Hi, I’m Y/N. I know this must be a surprise for everyone, but I’m really happy to be here.”

As everyone started to warm up to the idea of Denki’s ‘real’ relationship, they began to ask Y/N questions. “So, you’re in the hero course back in America?” Momo asked, genuinely curious.

“Yeah, just like Denki. We met through some shared interests, and we’ve been talking ever since. He’s kind of a big deal to me.” Y/N chuckled softly, glancing up at Denki with affection.

The group couldn’t help but smile, seeing how genuine their connection was. Even though they had doubted Denki’s relationship at first, seeing how happy he was now, they couldn’t help but be supportive.

“Alright, alright. We’ll admit it. You got us, man.” Bakugo grumbled, though there was a slight hint of a smile on his face. “Just don’t get too mushy in front of us, okay?”

Denki laughed and gave him a thumbs-up. “No promises! She’s my girlfriend, I’m gonna be all over her!”

Y/N playfully punched Denki’s shoulder. “Careful, or you’ll make me regret coming to Japan!”

The rest of the day was filled with laughter, exploring, and bonding. Even though Denki’s friends had been skeptical, they could see how much the two cared for each other. The chemistry between Denki and Y/N was undeniable.

And as the day went on, everyone started to think: maybe Denki wasn’t just the class clown after all. Maybe he was more serious about this relationship than they had given him credit for.

“Family Dinner (aka: The Apocalypse)”

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Katsuki Bakugo

Genre: Comedy, Complete Breakdown, Teen Drama, Secondhand Trauma

---

Dinner started off normal.

You made katsudon (Bakugo’s favorite). Haruki was unusually quiet. Hana had a suspicious smile. Bakugo was halfway through his second helping, blissfully unaware of the emotional landmine about to detonate.

You should’ve known.

You should’ve known.

It started with Hana.

“So, I think Takeshi might ask me to be his girlfriend.”

Bakugo froze mid-chew. “He better not.”

You gave her a soft smile. “That’s exciting, sweetheart.”

Bakugo narrowed his eyes. “No it isn’t. It’s illegal.”

Haruki jumped in, mouth full of rice. “Takeshi’s not that bad. Better than closet girl.”

Bakugo dropped his chopsticks.

“You wanna repeat that?”

Haruki realized too late that he’d just outed himself. Again. “I—I mean, hypothetically—”

“You were back in the closet?!”

You groaned. “Oh my god, not again.”

Hana leaned back smugly. “I saw them holding hands yesterday.”

Haruki turned bright red. “TRAITOR!”

“She winked at him too,” Hana added, like she was announcing a war crime. “Both eyes.”

Bakugo stood so fast his chair screeched. “THAT’S IT. This dinner is OVER. Everyone to their rooms. No more hormones. NO MORE WINKING.”

You tried to intervene. “Katsuki—”

“Nope. I’m done. I gave the talk. I suffered through The Incident. I read the damn Diary. I survived ClosetGate. And now you’re telling me I’m raising a Romeo and Juliet sequel in my own house?!”

Haruki mumbled, “Technically we’re more like a Rom-Com—”

“SHUT UP, HARUKI.”

Hana, cool as ever, kept sipping her juice. “Don’t worry, Dad. It’s not like I’m gonna kiss him on school property.”

Bakugo wheeled on her. “YES YOU ARE. AND I’LL BE THERE. HIDING IN A BUSH WITH BINOCULARS.”

You snorted so hard you choked.

Haruki tried to sneak another bite of katsudon.

Bakugo caught him mid-chew. “You think you get to eat after all this betrayal?!”

“Dad,” Haruki said around a mouthful, “you need therapy.”

“I need a flamethrower.”

---

Ten minutes later, you were cleaning the kitchen while Bakugo sulked in the corner like a war veteran.

“I can’t do this,” he muttered. “We’re surrounded. Outnumbered. Hormones on all sides.”

You kissed his cheek. “You’ll survive.”

“I miss when they were babies. When they only cried because they wanted snacks, not because some punk told them they had ‘pretty eyes.’”

You laughed. “You’re doing great.”

“I’m dying.”

“You’re surviving.”

He groaned. “Same thing.”

Explosive Love: Part 4 – Mina’s Turn (And She’s Ready for War)

Pairing: Kirishima x Fem!Reader

Featuring: Babysitter Mina Ashido

Genre: Crack fluff, Chaos, Girl Power vs Baby Gas Power

Summary: After hearing the legends of Baby Boom, Mina insists on babysitting. Confident. Fearless. Fabulous. She walks in like it’s a spa day. But this baby has no mercy—and Mina’s about to find out that cute pink hair doesn’t protect you from napalm-level toots.

---

“Guys, please,” Mina waved her hand dramatically as she slid her sunglasses down. “How bad could one tiny baby be?”

Kirishima and you just stared at her.

“Bakugo almost cried,” you offered gently.

“Deku said his lungs aged five years,” Kirishima added.

“Todoroki won't make eye contact with any infants anymore,” you finished.

Mina grinned. “So she’s a little spicy. I’m spicy. We’ll vibe.”

You handed the baby over. She cooed. Mina winked.

"Girls stick together," Mina said proudly.

From the hallway, Kirishima whispered to you, “We should start a timer.”

---

T+10 Minutes:

Mina was dancing in the living room, holding the baby like she was in a music video.

“We’re thriving, girl!” she sang. “Look at you! A queen! A tiny, powerful queen—”

PFFFFFFFFT.

She froze. The baby grinned.

“Okay,” Mina said slowly. “That was... assertive.”

She sniffed.

“Oh no.”

---

T+18 Minutes:

Mina had relocated to the balcony.

“I’m not saying I’m scared,” she said aloud, talking to the baby like a roommate. “But I did just Febreze your diaper like six times. And you’re still going.”

The baby tooted again. Long. Proud. Musical.

Mina blinked. “That one had a melody.”

She pulled out her phone. “Group chat. Emergency. I’m being farted alive.”

---

T+30 Minutes:

Kirishima peeked through the window.

Mina was standing in the middle of the living room like a war general, armed with lavender incense, baby wipes, and a fan in each hand. The baby sat smugly in a bouncer, thumping her legs like a war drum.

You sipped your drink calmly. “She’s gone full tactical.”

Kirishima whistled. “I’ve never seen Mina sweat before.”

PHHHBBT.

Inside, Mina yelled, “I DON’T DESERVE THIS!”

---

T+50 Minutes:

When you returned, the scene was… dramatic.

Mina was lying flat on the couch, a cold washcloth over her forehead.

“She won,” she mumbled. “I tried… I really tried.”

The baby was sound asleep in her arms, looking peaceful—like she hadn’t just gas-bombed a fully trained pro hero.

Kirishima picked her up and sniffed cautiously. “She’s… calm now?”

Mina sat up slowly. “She was never mad. That’s the worst part. She enjoyed it.”

You patted her shoulder. “She respects you now.”

Mina exhaled. “Good. She can remember that next time, when I show up in hazmat pink.”

---

Next time: Sero and Denki want to babysit together.