I Just Beat TOWW And I Brought Him In My Cult.

The day the music...

...died

Don't use. Thanks!

Real

how do yoy use tumblr

HI HELLO IM BACK WITH CHUUYA HEADCANON

Ok I imagine Chuuya is obsessed with music. And not like a specific genre he just in general really likes music. Listen to all sorts of genres, foreign music, you name it he's heard of it and probably likes it (pretty sure the only exception would be the rappers that just talk really fast or mumble random stuff into a mic). Like he has this secret wish to get an electric guitar and learn how to play it. He also probably has one of those online sites to compose with. (I bet you Koyou bought him a synth machine for his b-day or something once she figured out Chuuya has a passion for it. She would've bought him a nice program to go with it too) When he gets super emotional since he is also emotionally constipated like Dazai he will make music based off of it. At first he cared if it sounded good but now he doesn't and just makes music as a stress reliever and a fun hobby outside of work. Oh also he has a great singing voice secretly. Once Dazai learned about that and his little hobby Chuuya would get teased non stop about becoming a professional one day.

I finally finished and posted the Chuuya B-day fanfic! It's just a little domestic skk Fluff where Dazai goes to visit Chuuya and brings him a little something as a birthday surprise! Hope you enjoy it if you decide to read it :>

If by some miracle sweet potato Hitler doesn't win come the end of the week, this won't be necessary, but should he win here are some of the first things to be aware of or do.

If you know a trans person, no you don't. Respect them as best you can in private but you know nothing in public.

Be aware that TikTok will likely be banned, find new platforms to spread information. Fuck Twitter and what ever tiktok replacement he's working on.

Learn to Garden, even in winter so you can feed yourself should prices skyrocket

Get an air purifier. The Clean Air Act is likely to be stripped of its power with the EPA deregulated, air quality is going to suffer

Should you have kids, try to supplement history/social studies education. That's the first place they will attack, if you need help ask, history teacher will help

Try and do what you can to be aware of your health before January.

Help one another. That's the best way we can move forward and make change in the future.

Obsessed with vampires but specifically when they're really pathetic

crisp glass of water moodboard

Trust The Rogue To Lead You

Follow up to A Wish Breathed Into You

Odile contemplates the quest that her traveling partner has dragged her into. She trust him to lead her on this path.

[Siffrin & Odile] [Alternate Universe, Second Person POV, Odile POV, Introspection, Character Study]

Siffrin was a bit of an odd fellow, you'd known that since the first time you'd stumbled across each other. They were aimless and air headed at times, while being completely singled minded and determined at others. They could forget their words mid sentence one minute, but tell you the entire translation history of a play in the next. You didn't understand them, but you found them frightfully easy to get along with. 

You had already been traveling for quite some time when you met Siffrin, and it seemed that they had been doing the same but with much less grace. They didn't seem to have a destination that they were aiming for and, though you wouldn't realize this until much later, didn't have a place that they planned to return to either. It was easy enough to let them stick by your side for a time and then just as easy to want them to stay there. 

It was true that you questioned their decision to visit a frozen country, even when your own desire to do the same was rather high. It was a dangerous, reckless, and ill advised course of action. As much as you thought them to be a madman for suggesting it, you must have been just as mad to agree. As unorthodox as Siffrin's methods could be at times, he hadn't steered you wrong yet. You were hesitant to speak the words aloud, but you had placed a fair bit of trust in Siffrin and it had been repaid poorly.

Still, this "Universe" that they went on about mad zero since to you. It was somehow everything, but also everything was inside of it. It was a guiding force, but also he couldn't tell you a single thing about it when pressed. Not that Siffrin had ever been good at explaining himself under pressure, but that didn't mean you could always stop yourself from trying. You understood that it was part of his religion in some fashion, but you desperately wished you could get a few more concrete details out of him. 

"I don't know what to tell you, Odile," Siffrin had shrugged at you when you'd tried to poke at his words. "The Universe leads, all we can do is follow."

He said it with such finality that it must have been a common saying in… wherever Siffrin was from. You'd yet to figure it out or get anything out of him on that mystery. The only thing you knew for sure was that he had no intention of returning there. Whether that was because he refused to for some reason or perhaps wasn't allowed to, you had yet to figure out. 

It hadn't taken you long to begin writing down all your observations about Siffrin. It had taken even less time after that to realize that you'd need a separate notebook if you really wanted to understand all the strange oddities of your new companion. There had been one too many instances of scribbling in the margins of an already filled page for your liking, so you made the investment for a Siffrin specific book.

It worked out in your favor, as he seemed to get a kick out of trying to peek over your shoulder and you enjoyed the little game you'd made of pretending to hide it from him. It also gave you a chance to learn more about them. You'd learned earlier on that they couldn't read Ka Buan, so you'd made a game of seeing which scripts he could and could not recognize. Poterian seemed to offer him no trouble, which made sense as the two of you had met in Poteria. He scrunched up his face at Mwu script, which led you to assume that he didn't have much, if any, familiarity with the language. He had no trouble with Vaugardian, but seemed to take longer to parse out Andiran, despite the languages similarities. 

You were used to others becoming a bit uncomfortable if you paid too much attention to them, so it was a refreshing change of pace that you could tease Siffrin in this manner. If anything, he seemed flattered by your attention.

It also made it easier to show your affection in this way. You weren't very physically affectionate, but you could list out the traits that you found endearing about them and smile as they slowly slunk into their cloak to hide their darkening face. 

So, you were reasonably fond of Siffrin, you trusted him, and you were more willing to go along with his insane plans than you perhaps should have been. You didn't have a problem with any of this until you watched them fall out of a tree and scream bloody murder for so long that you knew you'd never be able to get the sound out of your head.

You hadn't questioned them on their little rituals, they'd always had them but this was one of the areas you were able to be patient in learning about them. You hadn't had any regret for that decision until then. If whatever they had done had led to this, you couldn't fathom allowing them to do as they pleased again. 

Only… it worked. You hadn't truly believed that he could "fix Vaugarde" or whatever their insane idea had been, but as you looked around and saw life returning to the branches of the tree, you had to second guess that assumption. It seemed that "wishing" had more validity to it than you ever could have guessed.

"Wishcraft?" You asked with some incredulity. You had demanded that he allow you to check him over for injuries, but amazingly, he didn't seem to be hurt at all. You weren't sure how that was possible with how hard he had fallen and how raw they had screamed themselves, but you decided to let it go for the time being. Too many mysteries at once would give you a headache. 

Siffrin simply nodded at you. "Yeah. It's… I'm not sure how to explain it?"

You tried to control your expression so that you didn't look as skeptical as you felt. "A craft based around… wishes?" You repeat. "I've never heard of such a thing before."

Siffin sank down into his cloak the way he often did when he was embarrassed, before he looked back at you and shrugged. "I… don't know why I know it, just that I… do?"

There were a great many things that Siffrin didn't know why they knew. His memory was unreliable at the best of times, yet his knowledge was usually spot on. He was more likely to underestimate his knowledge than overestimate it. 

"Tell me more about this… Wishcraft."

"Like what?" They asked with such an unassuming expression that you knew they were not simply trying to withhold the information from you. Sometimes you weren't sure how someone as expressive and kind as Siffrin had made it on their own as long as they did. You often sent thanks to whatever Expression had guided them to your side instead of into the hands of someone worse. 

"How does it work?" you asked, opening your notebook so that you could keep track of whatever they told you. "What does it do?"

"Well, it works by wishing?" He didn't sound particularly certain as he said that, but you attributed that more to him explaining it to you than any actual uncertainty in what he was trying to say. "And… it can do… a lot? Maybe not anything, but… I mean, if you wish for it…"

You wouldn't get anywhere this way. 

"Alright, how about you tell me about this?" You gesture to the Favor Tree. 

"You have to make a wish in order to use it," he started slowly. You could practically see him trying to arrange the words in his head. "And you can wish for anything, but the way that you wish makes a difference."

"How so?"

You could tell from the way that their face scrunched up that this isn't something he'll be able to answer. Or if he can, certainly not easily. You decided to try a different avenue.

"What are some ways to make wishes?"

Siffrin perked up a bit at that question. It must be easier to answer than the others. "There are rituals," he answered. "Like, if you're just saying your wish aloud, you can say it three times, or six, sometimes nine, but it isn't usually a good idea to go higher than that. You can, but…"

But he can't explain the ins and outs of it.

"What else?" You asked, writing that down.

"You can wish on a dandelion, but you have to blow all the seeds away in a single breath or it won't work. And you can wish on a star, but you have to really want it for a star to grant your wish and that's only for bigger wishes, anyway."

Siffrin had mentioned stars before, but you weren't sure why they had a hand in granting wishes. In fact, you weren't sure that any of this made sense to you. You didn't see any connecting thread between these things. You gestured for him to go on anyway.

"With the cranes, you have to fold a certain amount of them and the more that you fold, the bigger you can make your wish," he told you. "But just folding them isn't enough. You have to focus on your wish while folding and then whisper it into the folds of the paper so that the paper holds the wish and keeps it safe."

"Why does the paper need to hold the wish?"

He looked confused at the question. "Something has to take your wish to the Universe. So like, with a dandelion, each seed is carrying your wish away, but if you don't want it enough, then it won't be granted. That's why you need to blow off all the seeds." That… almost made sense to you. "Cranes can fly, so if you tell them your wish, they can carry it to the Universe for you, but only if you fold them right. Otherwise your wish will fall out and it'll be dropped before they make it to the sky."

Wishcraft sounded utterly absurd, but it was clear that there were rules. Rules that operated under some kind of logic even though you were clearly lacking the connective tissue to follow that logic. 

You finish writing down everything he told you, even the parts that didn't make sense to you. Perhaps if you revisit the topic down the line, it will. 

"So… unfreezing Vaugarde." It sounded completely mad when you'd first agreed, but now the task had gone from impossible to merely… daunting. You couldn't imagine taking on more responsibility than you seemingly just had. Unfreezing an entire country, fighting off hordes of these Sadness. Would it be just as volatile of a process every time? Would Siffrin need to use the same ritual? Would it always… hurt him?

You suspected that Siffrin wouldn't have the answer to these questions if you asked him. 

"We should get some sleep," you told him, closing your book and pushing yourself to your feet. You felt the strain in your limbs just a bit and when you stretched, you could feel the creak in your back. "I suspect we'll have quite a lot of work ahead of us when the town unfreezes."

Siffrin nodded and pushed himself to his feet. 

Tomorrow you might not have a choice in how things proceeded, so you should probably ask now, while you have the chance. 

"Siffrin." They stopped and looked up at you. "Are you sure that you want to take up this task? It will not be easy and it will not be quick. It'll be more dangerous than our previous travels and more labor intensive as well."

Silence settled between you for a while. You hoped that they were considering your words and not considering how to distance themselves from you for the audacity of asking.

"I have to do this, I think," he said eventually. "Even if the Universe didn't guide me here, I owe it to Vauguarde. Also… I might be the only one that can." He looked up. "So I have to do it. I don't want Vaguarde to become just a memory." Another pause. "You don't have to help me… if you don't want to."

You reach out to place a hand on his head. "I'm not leaving you to do this alone, my dear rogue. This old lady will be with you for a while longer, yet."

He smiled, small and shy, but full of warmth. "Thanks Odile."

In the morning the two of you watch as the town comes to life. People that had been frozen in motion lurched forward, bird song slowly began to fill the air, the lightlessness receded from the world, and the air warmed. You and Siffrin tried to follow the wave of the curse breaking to catch those that were stuck in awkward positions and try to explain what had happened. 

By the afternoon, most of the town was unfrozen and by nightfall, you could see the borders where Siffrin's wish had stopped.

You tried to explain, as simply as you could, what had happened. Neither you nor Siffrin really wanted to get into the idea of Wishcraft, but you didn't really need to. People understood that the two of you were responsible for unfreezing them and the rest didn't really matter to them all that much. 

"We're so grateful to you, saviors!" Your eyes went to Siffrin when one of the townsfolk grabbed your hands to thank you. From the way they were shrinking into their cloak, you didn't think that they would appreciate the correction. Siffrin didn't particularly enjoy too much attention on him and while you knew that the attention would inevitably come, you didn't need to hasten the inevitable. "Please, is there any way that we can help you?"

You only needed to consider your response for a moment. 

"There's a long journey ahead of us, a sizable task. And aid that you could offer…"

"Of course!"

"Anything for our saviors!"

The people of Vaugarde were generous. That could be expected from a person in their position, but you were fairly certain you would not receive this warm of a response from Ka Bue if your home had been in the same position. They offered you supplies for your journey, as much food as you could reasonably carry, and begged you to stay long enough for them to hold a celebration with you both.

You agreed, of course. There wasn't a time limit to your journey. Between fighting and traveling, the task would be arduous enough, but you weren't yet sure what burden Wishcraft would put on Siffrin, so you wanted to give them ample time to relax while they could. 

During the height of the celebration you decide to check the Favor tree. You aren't yet sure what significance they hold to Vaugarde, you haven't gotten the chance to ask anyone yet, but Siffrin had told you what they were called and it had served as the base for their wish which seemed like it must be significant somehow. To your surprise, the light that had been housed within the paper cranes had died. 

You spent a long time staring at them and at the people surrounding the favor tree. There were still so many unknowns about this journey, this mysterious craft. You weren't yet sure how to navigate it all, how you could help Siffrin, but you were determined to try. You knew that much. 

"Hey, Odile!" You turned to Siffrin smiling up at you, holding out their hand. "Flower for you!"

It was a simple thing, the flower. Just a small token. But it had been frozen just hours earlier and now it was alive. Because of you. You and Siffrin. 

You accept the flower with a small smile. "Thank you, Siffrin."

The smile that they gift you with is even better than the flower, but only one of those can be bundled up so that you can keep it with you forever. 

I like to think that Chuuya understands why Dazai left and wasn't all that mad about it at first.

I think the hurt of being left built up over the four years. I think the first week or so Chuuya was like "Yeah? Well good for him I guess, better be quieter around now" and then he turns to tell Dazai something on a mission and he's not there. Of course he shrugs it off, no big deal he just need s a brief adjustment period. Shouldn't take long I mean how much can one person really affect your life?

And then he finds himself looking for Dazai to ask the name of the musical that has that one song. It got stuck in his head. Again. And it's annoying him and he makes it all the way to his living room before remembering Dazai's not there.

And then he sees the lump of Dazai's clothes on the couch and goes to tell him to at least put it away and he opens his mouth before remembers.

And then he makes food and when he's setting up his plate he notices he made enough for two. He won't admit it but he's not sure if that shit will remember to feed himself.

And then he's still buying the shampoo and conditioner Dazai likes. Not Chuuya's problem anymore, he thinks as he puts them away. Better to stalk up in case it's needed later.

And then he's still leaving Dazai's favorite blanket on the couch, he's still keeping bandages in his bathroom, still driving by the river to make sure there aren't any limbs sticking out, still watching the movies Dazai showed him and he wouldn't tell anyone but Dazai being gone affected everything and he's happy for him- really but if he ever sees him again he better have been just as fucked up.

And then he sees Dazai again, four years later on the day he came back from a mission. And he looks. Fine. Better than his Mafia days, better than when he was with Chuuya. Lucky him.

-E

long distance internet friendships are so frustrating like i want to go hang out at your place. i want to bring that snack u like if ur sad. i want to go to the cinema and watch a movie together. i wish we could randomly decide to drive down to the beach one friday night and look at the stars. we drifted apart and idk if you're alive. nobody would think to tell you if i died. i hope you're okay