I Will Kill Myself. This Is Too Much For Me

stroking it and by it i mean my ego

the people i like are always people with 569282803 other friends WHAT IS THIS CURSE

unfortunately none of my thoughts ever become words so when i have to rant about my interests i can only say "AND THEN DID YOU KNOW SHES SO AHSJDJDKSKMSJDIDOO BABYYYYY EKSOODODKEKKD I NEED TO HUG HER SHES SO YUMMY GOSSSHHHHHH"

things i desperately need (pt.1):

someone to wake up next to me in the morning and say my just-woken-up face is adorable

unfortunately i am nonchalant but its not even by choice i WISH i could be super chalant and cute, maybe that'd make people like me more

there is genuinely nothing more infuriating than seeing others find the kind of love that i yearn for

honestly, i can't fathom how there are people that actually comment on vent posts to try and help/comfort op. do some people just have enough empathy and kind words to spare? i can barely handle it when my friends vent to me, but there are people that can comfort total strangers? i just can't wrap my head around it

i hate when i want to talk to someone SO BADLY, but i can't find anything to say, or i'm afraid they'll think i'm annoying. this happens to me all the time, it's so horrid

i'm gonna shoot myself ghahahsjdjdkskskskskskskskxkxjkskskahdhfhcndjksoskxxjkxksksjs genuinely why am i like this. DEATH PENALTY FOR ME PLEASE

took a blood test today, i am elated