Quick Sketch From Tonight Https://www.instagram.com/p/B9slwWpDnXnZnmB3chpJhHOBLSHshTVPmix9C40/?igshid=oaxnafoegnfu

suicidal knight in a king's retinue looking for any excuse to fall on his own sword with honor but the king always stops him because he "still has need for him yet"

Socks are condoms for our feet.

and shoes are the vagina

Steve Rogers Headcanon

Guys!!! What if Steve rogers only hypes up patriotism because he thinks he still had to do it. Like he was the army's circus monkey and when he got out of the ice no one told him he could give up the act?!!!!!!???!? Like this is how I ok machine that convo going

Steve: (something patriotic)

Tony: why are you so goddamn pro-america all the f-ing time

Steve: it's my job!?!!!?????

Tony: Wha?

Steve: I was hired by the gov. to increase patriotism. I thought you knew this?

Tony: you know youre not still getting payed right?

Steve: Really? Great! F*ck america!!!! (Begins blasting American Idiot by Green Day)

Bucky: (shows up out of literally nowhere) *starts singing*

Steve: Bucky? where did you come from?

Bucky: Who the hell is Bucky?

rb this with ur opinion on this shade of pink:

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

Thing I heard my siblings say:

"trash goes in the burn pile and food goes in the compost. Pick which one you are!"

“Your first scout assignment: Go into the forest, find a person, and burn them alive!”

“Welcome to Hell! We’ll roast you but first you need to have muscle... Welcome to your personal Hell. EXERCISE!!!!!”

“You can’t simp for a 20-year-old emotionally stunted emo with daddy issues. He’s just the genderbent version of you in 5 years.” 

“Welcome to Femboy Hooters!” “You cant work there, you don’t have abs.” “I can steal them from the football team.”

“I want your KnEEcAps!” “I already sold them on Ebay”

Younger Brother to the older brother:  YB:“are you going to the bathroom?” OB:“yes” YB:“Cool”-proceeds to run out of bedrom with pants half on- OB:”No!”

I’ll say it again, please just grit your teeth and vote for Biden…

Hello 😏

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted