Purple: *pretending To Joke* So When Are You Going To Go Out With Me?

Dark: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass.

Second: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL!

Dark: …Your point?

Dark: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*

Dark: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

Chosen: You know, I'd love a partner who's sensitive, caring, and willing to do anything for me.

Dark: *explosions in the distance*

Chosen:

Chosen: I want that one.

Purple: Gender? Ha, yeah. I totally have one of those, definitely. There's some sort of gender around here, gimmie a second.

Purple, throwing dirty laundry around: Shit. I know it was here... I saw it yesterday!

Purple, crawling around on the floor, looking under things: Ugh... Sorry, gimmie a sec... I swear, I had it just the other day...

Chosen, answering the phone: Hello?

Dark: It’s Dark.

Chosen: What did they do this time?

Dark: No, it’s me, Dark. It’s actually me.

Chosen: What did you do this time?

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.

Second: Which one? I have seven.

Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.

Second: Which one? I have seven.

Red, distantly: HEY!!!

Dark: Hey guys, I found a spider. Cool little lad. Thanks for eating the mosquitos.

Dark: Oh no, where did it go?

Chosen: DARK WHAT THE FUCK?!

Purple: Is something burning?

Green: My burning love for you of course!

Purple: …

Green: …

Green: And the kitchen is on fire…

Dark: You can trust me! Remember who pulled you out of the river when you were younger?

Chosen: Remember who pushed me in?

Dark: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind.

Dark: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.

Dark: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?

Chosen: This is Monopoly.