Dark: You Saved Me! Why?

Yellow: I’m the smartest person in my friend group.

Purple: You hang out with Red, Second, Green, and Blue.

Purple: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

Yellow, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.

Purple: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Blue: >:O language

Red: Yeah watch your fucking language

Yellow: Okay, who taught Red the fuck word?!

Green: 'The fuck word'.

Second: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Green: Oh my god they censored it

Purple: Say fuck, Second.

Red: Do it, Second. Say fuck.

Second: Dark and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.

Chosen: What did you do?

Second: Dark chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-

Dark: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

Red: Yellow, I want a bedtime story!

Yellow: I’m busy, Red. I’ll tell you one tomorrow.

Red: If you don’t tell me a story, I won’t go to bed!

Yellow: Once upon a time, there was a person named Red, who always wanted things their way. One day, their friends got sick of it and locked them in the basement for the rest of their life. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The end.

Red: I don’t like these stories with morals.

Dark: If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I am not. I am out there, very dangerous, and I am looking for you. Good luck.

Dark: WHO THE FUCK-

Second: Whoa, language!

Dark: I speak fucking English!

Second: ...

Dark: I’m a reverse necromancer.

Second: Isn’t that just killing people?

Dark: Ah, technically.

Green: Purple, do you love me?

Purple: Of course I do!

Green: Would you still love me if I did something bad?

Purple: Well, of course I… would…

Green: I mean something really, really—

Purple: Green, what did you do?

*queue influencer arc montage*

Dark, with their hands cupped over each other: I found a cool spider!

Second: Oh? Lemme see!

Dark, opening their hands to see nothing there: …hm.

Chosen: …where’s the spider.

Dark: *looks troubled and stares at their hands*

Second: Oh no.

Chosen: DARK, WHERE’S THE SPIDER?!

(chosen definitely has arachnophobia lol)